Zamkatimu
Zambiri zanenedwa ponena za kufunika kwa kuika malire, koma kodi zimenezi zimatanthauzanji m’zochita? Kodi mungayerekeze bwanji kuti pomaliza muyambe kuteteza gawo lanu kwa iwo omwe amawasokoneza nthawi zonse?
Malire athu aumwini amatsimikizira zomwe takonzeka komanso zomwe sitili okonzeka kuchita. Malire athu amatsimikizira momwe timayankhira khalidwe la ena, koma poika malire, sitikuyesera kusintha anthu ena, "akufotokoza psychotherapist Shari Stynes.
Malire athu amagwirizana kwambiri ndi kudziona kuti ndife ofunika, udindo komanso kukhwima maganizo. Mavuto a malire nthawi zambiri amayamba pazifukwa ziwiri: kulera kapena mantha.
Pali mitundu itatu yayikulu ya malire amunthu:
1. Zolimba - timaziyika m'mikhalidwe yomwe timatsatira malamulo okhwima ndikukhala patali popanda kuyandikira kwa anthu ena.
2. Zosokonezedwa - malire awa amatuluka mu ubale wa symbiotic momwe mumagwirira ntchito ngati njira yokwaniritsira zosowa ndi zosowa za wina, kapena wina amakupangirani izi.
3. Permeable - izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zamtundu wabwino kwambiri wa malire: mumadziwa bwino lomwe malo anu amatha ndi malo ena akuyamba, koma panthawi imodzimodziyo simukuwopa kuti mulole wina ndi mzake mu malo anu.
"Nthawi zambiri ndikofunikira kuyesetsa kumanga odalirika, koma nthawi yomweyo malire owopsa. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mumadziwa nokha, ufulu wanu ndi udindo wanu, lolani ena kukhala okha popanda kuwauza kuti asinthe chifukwa cha inu, "akutero Shari Stynes.
Kodi mungafotokoze bwanji malire anu?
“Musamapange zosankha zazikulu pamene mwakwiya, mwansanje, kapena m’chikondi,” akulangiza motero mphunzitsi Mario Tegu. Pamapeto pake, chinthu chachikulu ndikudzidziwa nokha, pangani dongosolo lanu lamtengo wapatali komanso gawo laudindo. Shari Stines amalimbikitsa masewera olimbitsa thupi omwe angakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa malire anu ndikuzindikira zomwe ziyenera kusinthidwa:
1. Lembani mavuto anu. Chikuda nkhawa ndi chiyani?
2. Lembani onse okhudzidwa ndi mavuto anu. Kodi mavuto amenewa amakhudza ndani? Kodi muli ndi udindo wotani kwa anthu amenewa?
3. Mukufuna chiyani? Kaŵirikaŵiri, awo amene ali ndi vuto ndi malire aumwini samadziŵa nkomwe chimene iwo akufuna. Ndikofunika kudzidziwa nokha kuti mumvetse zokhumba zanu zenizeni ndi zosowa zanu.
4. Dziwani amene ali ndi udindo pa chiyani. Kodi mukutenga maudindo a munthu wina? Sankhani amene angachite zomwe zilili pano.
5. Fotokozani malire okhwima a zomwe zili zovomerezeka: zomwe mwakonzeka ndipo simunakonzekere kupirira. Malire awa sakukambidwa.
Kumbukirani kuti malire anu amatsimikiziridwa ndi zochita zanu, osati ndi zochita za ena. Henry Cloud ndi John Townsend, akatswiri a zamaganizo analemba kuti: “Mumasankha zochita, ndipo ndimasankha zimene ndikufuna kupirira.
Ngakhale mutadziona kuti ndinu wodzikonda komanso mumadziimba mlandu, yesani kuganiziranso zikhulupiriro zimenezi.
Tiyeni titenge chitsanzo chapakhomo: mwatopa kumangopempha wokondedwa wanu kuti akuchotseni masokosi. Lekani kumukumbutsa za izo, ingoikani masokosi anu kwinakwake (monga dengu lochapira) ndikuyiwala za izo. Sikoyenera ngakhale kukambirana za mutuwu - ingothana ndi vutoli nokha ndikukhalabe moyo.
Momwe mungayikitsire malire:
1. Kumbukirani, malire anu ali pa inu, osati ena.
2. Khalani okonzeka kukana - ena ndi anu omwe. Muyenera kuthana ndi mantha anu ndipo mwachiwonekere mudzabweretsa nkhani zobisika kuyambira ubwana kapena maubwenzi am'mbuyomu omwe simunaloledwe kukhazikitsa ndikuteteza malire anu. Mukayesa kupanga malire paubwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto la m'maganizo kapena wosagwira ntchito bwino, mutha kukumana ndi kukana kapena kuyesa kubwezera.
3. Dziloleni kudziikira malire. Kumbukirani kuti muli ndi ufulu wosamalira zofuna zanu. Ngakhale mutakhala wodzikonda komanso wodziimba mlandu, yesani kuganiziranso zikhulupiriro zimenezi ndi kusankha mwanzeru kuti musagonje. Dzikumbutseni kuti izi n’zimene anthu achikulire ndi okhwima maganizo amachita.
Zoyenera kuchita ngati mukudziwa malire anu, koma simunakonzekere kuwateteza
Mwinamwake mukudziwa kale malire omwe mungafune kumanga muubwenzi ndi munthu wina, koma pazifukwa zina simunakonzekere kukhazikitsa ndi kuwateteza. Nanga tingatani?
1. Khalani omasuka pa zomwe mukufuna. Uzani wina za iwo. Zilembeni papepala.
2. Yang'anani mkati mwanu kuti mumvetsetse chifukwa chake zimakuvutani kuteteza malire awa. Mungafunike kuthandizidwa kuti muthetse mantha anu, kusatetezeka, ndi zotchinga zamkati zomwe zimakulepheretsani kukhazikitsa ndi kuteteza malire.
3. Sinthani ubale wanu ndi munthu wina pang'onopang'ono. Yambani ndi mawu monga "sindikuvomereza izi", "sindikuvomereza izi". Osawopa kunena momasuka zimene mukuganiza, koma pewani kuopseza. Nenani momasuka zomwe mukufuna, ndikumvetsetsa kuti iyi ndi gawo la kukula kwanu. Pakapita nthawi, mudzakhala olimba komanso osavuta kukhazikitsa ndi kuteteza malire ndikusamalira zosowa zanu ndi zosowa zanu pochita.
Malire ayenera kukuchitirani zabwino, musakhale kapolo wawo ndipo musade nkhawa ndi zomwe ena amaganiza
Ngati mukuona kuti n’kovuta kwa inu kukhazikitsa malire oyenera, khalani oleza mtima ndi kudzilekerera. Osadzidzudzula. Kumbukirani kuti zovuta zanu zili ndi zifukwa zake, koma pang'onopang'ono mudzathana ndi chilichonse. Mungayambe mwa kudziikira malire: “Ndidzasiya kudzidzudzula ndi kudzidetsa nkhaŵa, pozindikira kuti ndiyenera kupanga zosankha zovuta.”
"Pakapita nthawi, mudzakhala bwino pakukhazikitsa ndi kuteteza malire. Musaiwale kuti ayenera kukuchitirani zabwino, musakhale kapolo wawo ndipo musade nkhawa ndi zomwe ena amaganiza. Muli ndi zosowa zanu ndi zotheka. Chinthu chachikulu pakukhazikitsa malire anu ndikukhala olimba mtima kuti musankhe motsimikiza zomwe mwakonzeka komanso zomwe simunakonzekere, ndikunyalanyaza zotsutsa za anthu ena, "Mwachidule Shari Stines.
Za Wolemba: Shari Stynes ndi psychotherapist yemwe amagwira ntchito pochiza zovuta za umunthu komanso zotsatira za kuvulala kwamaganizidwe.