Mkwiyo: dziwani mdani pomuona

Kodi tingachite chiyani ngati tagwidwa ndi malingaliro, makamaka okhumudwa? Kodi tingaletse, titi, mkwiyo wathu? Akatswiri a zamaganizo ali otsimikiza inde. Mu Mood Therapy, David Burns, MD, amaphatikiza zotsatira za kafukufuku wochuluka ndi zochitika zachipatala kuti afotokoze njira zochepetsera kupsinjika maganizo kowawa, kuchepetsa nkhawa yofooketsa, ndi kulamulira maganizo amphamvu m'chinenero chosavuta, chosavuta kumva.

Wolembayo samakana mwanjira iliyonse kufunikira kwa chithandizo chamankhwala pazovuta kwambiri, koma amakhulupirira kuti nthawi zambiri ndizotheka kuchita popanda chemistry ndikuthandizira kasitomala, kudzipatula ku psychotherapy. Malingana ndi iye, ndi maganizo athu omwe amatsimikizira kumverera, kotero mothandizidwa ndi njira zamaganizo, kudzidalira, kudziimba mlandu ndi nkhawa zingathetsedwe.

“Kusintha mwadzidzidzi m’maganizo ndi chizindikiro chofanana ndi mphuno yothamanga ndi chimfine. Zonse zoipa zomwe mumakumana nazo ndi zotsatira za malingaliro olakwika, "Burns akulemba. - Malingaliro opanda chiyembekezo amatenga gawo lalikulu pakutuluka ndi kusungidwa kwake. Lingaliro lolakwika lokhazikika nthawi zonse limatsagana ndi zochitika zachisoni kapena zowawa zilizonse zamtundu womwewo.

Izi zikutanthauza kuti mutha kuyambitsa ndondomekoyi mosinthana: timachotsa malingaliro ndi malingaliro opanda pake - ndikubweretsanso malingaliro abwino kapena, osachepera, malingaliro athu ndi momwe zinthu ziliri. Kukonda mwangwiro ndi kuopa zolakwa, mkwiyo, zomwe mumachita nazo manyazi ... Mkwiyo ndi malingaliro owononga kwambiri, nthawi zina kwenikweni. Mkwiyo wodzipangira wekha kaŵirikaŵiri umakhala chiyambi cha khalidwe lodzivulaza. Ndipo ukali wotayika umawononga maubwenzi (ndipo nthawi zina moyo). Kodi kuthana nazo? Izi ndi zofunika kudziwa za mkwiyo wanu, Burns akulemba.

1. Palibe chochitika chomwe chingakukwiyitseni, koma malingaliro anu okhumudwa ndi omwe amayambitsa mkwiyo.

Ngakhale pamene chinachake choipa kwenikweni chichitika, kuyankha kwanu maganizo kumatsimikizira tanthauzo limene mumagwirizanitsa nalo. Lingaliro loti ndinu oyambitsa mkwiyo wanu ndi lopindulitsa kwambiri kwa inu: limakupatsani mwayi wodzilamulira ndikusankha dziko lanu.

Kodi mukufuna kumva bwanji? Mwasankha. Ngati sikunali tero, mukanadalira chochitika chilichonse chimene chikuchitika kunja.

2. Nthawi zambiri mkwiyo sungakuthandizeni.

Zimangokulepheretsani inu, ndipo mumaundana muudani wanu ndipo simungathe kukwaniritsa zomwe mukufuna. Mudzamva bwino kwambiri ngati mutchera khutu kupeza njira zothetsera mavuto. Kodi mungachite chiyani kuti muthane ndi vutolo, kapena kuchepetsa mwayi woti lidzakulepheretseni mtsogolo? Maganizo amenewa adzakuthandizani kuthana ndi kusowa thandizo ndi kukhumudwa.

Ndipo mutha kusintha mkwiyo ... ndi chisangalalo, chifukwa sizingachitike nthawi imodzi. Kumbukirani mphindi yosangalatsa m'moyo wanu ndikuyankha funso kuti ndi nthawi zingati zachisangalalo zomwe mwakonzeka kusinthana ndi mkwiyo.

3. Maganizo Amene Amayambitsa Mkwiyo Nthawi zambiri Amakhala ndi Zosokoneza

Mukawawongolera, mutha kuchepetsa kuchuluka kwa zilakolako. Mwachitsanzo, polankhula ndi munthu n’kumukwiyira, mumamutchula kuti (“Inde, ndi chitsiru!”) Ndipo mumamuona atavala zakuda. Zotsatira za overgeneralization ndi ziwanda. Mumayika mtanda pa munthu, ngakhale kuti simukumukonda, koma zochita zake.

4. Mkwiyo umayamba chifukwa chokhulupirira kuti munthu wina wachita zinthu mosaona mtima kapena kuti zinthu zina n’zopanda chilungamo.

Kuchuluka kwa mkwiyo kudzawonjezeka molingana ndi momwe mumaganizira mozama zomwe zikuchitika ngati chikhumbo chofuna kukuvulazani. Kuwala kwachikasu kunayatsa, woyendetsa galimoto sanakusiyeni, ndipo mukufulumira: "Wachita dala!" Koma dalaivalayo adatha kufulumira. Kodi anaganiza panthawiyo, yemwe kufulumira kwake kuli kofunika kwambiri? Zokayikitsa.

5. Pophunzira kuona dziko ndi maso a ena, mudzadabwa kuti zochita zawo sizikuwoneka ngati zopanda chilungamo kwa iwo.

Pazifukwa izi, kupanda chilungamo ndi chinyengo chomwe chimakhala m'maganizo mwanu. Ngati muli wololera kusiya lingaliro losalondola lakuti malingaliro anu a chowonadi, chisalungamo, chilungamo ndi chilungamo amagawana ndi onse, kuipidwa kwakukulu ndi kukhumudwa zidzatha.

6. Anthu ena nthawi zambiri samadziona ngati oyenera chilango chanu.

Choncho, «kuwalanga» iwo, inu n'zokayikitsa kukwaniritsa kufunika kwenikweni. Ukali nthawi zambiri umangowonjezera kuwonongeka kwa maubwenzi, kutembenuza anthu kuti azikutsutsani, ndikuchita ngati uneneri wodzikwaniritsa. Chomwe chimathandiza kwambiri ndi njira yabwino yolimbikitsira.

7. Mkwiyo wambiri umakhudzana ndi kuteteza kudzidalira kwanu.

N’zosakayikitsa kuti nthawi zambiri mumakwiya anthu akamakudzudzulani, akamakutsutsani, kapena akapanda kuchita zinthu zimene mukufuna. Mkwiyo woterowo ndi wosakwanira, chifukwa maganizo anu oipa okha amawononga kudzidalira kwanu.

8. Kutaya mtima ndi zotsatira za zomwe zimayembekezera zomwe sizinachitike.

Kukhumudwa nthawi zonse kumayenderana ndi ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka. Muli ndi ufulu woyesa kukopa zenizeni, koma izi sizingatheke nthawi zonse. Njira yosavuta ndiyo kusintha zoyembekeza mwa kuchepetsa mipiringidzo.

9. Kuumirira kuti muli ndi ufulu wokwiya ndi zopanda pake.

N’zoona kuti muli ndi ufulu wokwiya, koma funso n’lakuti, kodi kupsa mtima kumapindula? Kodi inuyo ndi dziko lapansi mumapindula chiyani ndi mkwiyo wanu?

10. Mkwiyo siwofunika kawirikawiri kuti ukhalebe munthu.

Sizoona kuti mudzakhala loboti yosamva ngati simukwiya. M'malo mwake, pochotsa kusakwiya kokwiyitsa uku, mudzakhala ndi chisangalalo chachikulu pamoyo, komanso kumva momwe chisangalalo chanu, mtendere ndi zokolola zimakulira. Mudzakhala omasuka komanso omveka bwino, akutero David Burns.