"Osandikwiyitsa!": Masitepe 5 kuti mukambirane mwamtendere ndi mwana

• “Osakuwa! Mukakuwa, ndikusiyani pano"
• “Bwanji ukuimilira ngati chitsiru! Amamvera mbalameyo ... Mofulumira, kwa yemwe inamuuza!
• "Khalani chete! Khala chete pamene akuluakulu akuyankhula »
• "Tawona mlongo wako, amachita bwino, osati ngati iwe!"

Kaŵirikaŵiri timamva mawu ameneŵa mumsewu, m’sitolo, m’kafesi, monga momwe makolo ambiri amawalingalira kukhala mbali ya maphunziro abwino. Inde, ndipo nthawi zina ife tokha sitidziletsa tokha, kufuula ndi kukhumudwitsa ana athu. Koma ife sitiri oipa! Timawakondadi. Kodi sindicho chinthu chachikulu?

Chifukwa chiyani tikuphwanya

Pali zofotokozera zingapo za khalidweli:

• Gulu la post-Soviet ndilomwe limayambitsa khalidwe lathu, lomwe limasiyanitsidwa ndi kudana ndi ana "ovuta". Timayesetsa kuti tizolowere dziko lotizungulira ndikukwaniritsa zoyembekeza zake, chifukwa chake, poyesa kuoneka bwino, timalimbana ndi mwana wathu. Ndi bwino kuposa kusokoneza amalume a munthu wina amene amatiweruza.
• Ena a ife mwina sitinakhale ndi makolo abwino kwambiri, ndipo mwa inertia timachitira ana athu monga momwe ife anatichitira. Monga, mwanjira ina tinapulumuka ndikukula monga anthu wamba!
• Kumbuyo kukuwa mwamwano ndi mawu achipongwe, kutopa, kutaya mtima ndi kusowa mphamvu kwa makolo abwinobwino nthawi zambiri zimabisika. Ndani akudziwa zomwe zidachitika komanso ndi kangati kamwana kakang'ono kokakamira kamene kanakakamizika kuchita bwino? Komabe, zoseŵeretsa za ana ndi chiyeso chachikulu cha mphamvu.

Mmene khalidwe lathu limakhudzira mwanayo

Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti palibe cholakwika ndi kulankhula mokuwa ndi mwano. Tangoganizani, amayi anga anafuula m'mitima mwawo - mu ola limodzi adzasisita kapena kugula ayisikilimu, ndipo chirichonse chidzadutsa. Koma kwenikweni, zomwe tikuchita ndikuzunza mwana m'maganizo.

Kukalipira mwana wamng'ono n'kokwanira kumuchititsa mantha kwambiri, akuchenjeza Laura Markham, wolemba za Parenting Without Whining, Punishment and Screaming.

“Pamene kholo lilalatira khanda, khosi lawo losakula bwino limatulutsa chizindikiro chowopsa. Thupi limayatsa kuyankha kwankhondo-kapena-kuthawa. Akhoza kukumenya, kuthawa kapena kuzizira mu chibwibwi. Ngati izi zikubwerezedwa mobwerezabwereza, khalidweli limalimbikitsidwa. Mwanayo amaphunzira kuti anthu apamtima amamuopseza, ndipo kenako amakhala waukali, wosakhulupirira kapena wopanda thandizo.

Mukutsimikiza kuti mukufuna izi? M'maso mwa ana, ndife akuluakulu amphamvu omwe amawapatsa zonse zomwe akufunikira kuti akhale ndi moyo: chakudya, pogona, chitetezo, chisamaliro, chisamaliro. Chisungiko chawo chimasokonekera pamene anthu amene amawadalira kotheratu akuwadzidzimutsa ndi kukuwa kapena mawu owopseza. Osatchulanso ma flops ndi ma cuffs ...

Ngakhale tikamaponya mwaukali zinthu monga “Watopa bwanji!” Timamupweteka kwambiri mwanayo. Zamphamvu kuposa momwe tingaganizire. Chifukwa amaona mawu awa mosiyana: "Sindikufuna, sindimakukonda." Koma munthu aliyense, ngakhale wamng’ono kwambiri, amafunikira chikondi.

Pamene kulira ndi chisankho chokhacho choyenera?

Ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri kukweza mawu sikuvomerezeka, nthawi zina kumakhala kofunikira. Mwachitsanzo, ngati ana agundana kapena ali pangozi yaikulu. Kufuula kudzawadabwitsa, koma kudzawapangitsanso kuzindikira. Chinthu chachikulu ndikusintha nthawi yomweyo mawu. Fuulani kuti muchenjeze, lankhulani kuti mufotokoze.

Momwe mungalerere ana mwachilengedwe

Inde, ziribe kanthu momwe tingalerere ana athu, iwo nthawizonse adzakhala ndi chinachake choti auze katswiri wa zamaganizo. Koma tingathe kuonetsetsa kuti ana akudziwa “kusunga malire”, kudzilemekeza komanso kulemekeza ena—ngati ifeyo timawalemekeza.

Kuti muchite izi, yesani kutsatira njira zingapo zosavuta:

1. Pumulani pang'ono

Ngati mukumva ngati mukulephera kudziletsa ndipo mwatsala pang'ono kugunda, imani. Sunthani masitepe angapo kuchokera kwa mwanayo ndikupuma kwambiri. Izi zidzakuthandizani kukhazika mtima pansi ndikuwonetsa mwana wanu momwe angathanirane ndi malingaliro amphamvu.

2. Lankhulani zakukhosi kwanu

Mkwiyo ndi kumverera kwachibadwa komweko monga chimwemwe, kudabwa, chisoni, kuipidwa, mkwiyo. Mwa kumvetsa ndi kuvomereza maganizo athu, timaphunzitsa ana kumvetsa ndi kuvomereza okha. Lankhulani za mmene mukumvera ndipo limbikitsani mwana wanu kuchita chimodzimodzi. Izi zidzamuthandiza kukhala ndi maganizo aulemu kwa iye ndi ena, ndipo nthawi zambiri zidzakhala zothandiza m'moyo.

3. Lekani Makhalidwe Oipa Modekha Koma Molimba

Inde, nthawi zina ana amachita zinthu zonyansa. Ichi ndi gawo la kukula. Lankhulani nawo mosamalitsa kuti amvetse kuti n’zosatheka kuchita zimenezi, koma musanyoze ulemu wawo. Kutsamira pansi, kugwada pansi, kuyang'ana m'maso - zonsezi zimagwira ntchito bwino kuposa kudzudzula kuchokera kutalika kwa msinkhu wanu.

4. Yembekezani, osawopseza

Monga momwe Barbara Coloroso akulembera m’buku lakuti Children Deserve It!, ziopsezo ndi zilango zimabala zaukali, kuipidwa ndi mikangano, ndipo zimachititsa ana kudzidalira. Koma akaona zotsatira za khalidwe linalake potsatira chenjezo loona mtima, amaphunzira kusankha bwino. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mutangofotokoza kuti akusewera ndi magalimoto, osati kumenyana, ndiye kuti mutenge chidolecho.

5. Gwiritsani ntchito nthabwala

Chodabwitsa n'chakuti nthabwala ndi njira yabwino kwambiri komanso yosavuta yochitira kufuula ndi kuopseza. Laura Markham anati: “Makolo akachita nthabwala, sataya udindo wawo n’komwe, koma m’malo mwake amalimbitsa chikhulupiriro cha mwanayo. Ndipotu kuseka n’kosangalatsa kwambiri kusiyana ndi kunjenjemera ndi mantha.

Palibe chifukwa chokhutiritsa ana ndi kuwakakamiza kuti azimvera mosakayikira. Pamapeto pake tonse ndife anthu. Koma ndife akuluakulu, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti tili ndi udindo pa umunthu wamtsogolo.