Nthawi zina timanena chinthu chimodzi, koma ganizirani zosiyana - zomwe zimasokoneza kulankhulana ndi anthu ena. Kodi mungaphunzire bwanji kumvetsetsa bwino za interlocutors ndi kulandira zambiri kuchokera kwa iwo? Yesani kuchepetsa ndi kulowa «viscous kukhudzana» boma.
Polankhulana tsiku ndi tsiku, nthawi zambiri timachitapo kanthu ndi mawu a interlocutor mofulumira, modzidzimutsa, ndipo izi zimabweretsa mikangano yosafunikira. Ndikufuna kugawana fanizo langa, lomwe limathandiza kupewa automatism yotereyi.
Imodzi mwa ntchito zomwe zathetsedwa mu psychotherapy ndikumvetsetsa momwe kulumikizana kwa kasitomala kumagwirira ntchito. Onse akunja, ndi anthu ena, makamaka, ndi wothandizira, ndi wamkati - pamene pali kukambirana pakati pa subpersonalities osiyana. Ndikosavuta kugawanitsa pa liwiro lotsika, ndikuchepetsa. Kukhala ndi nthawi ndikuwona zochitika zina, ndikumvetsetsa, ndikusankha njira yabwino yoyankhira.
Izi ndikuzitcha kuti "viscous contact". Mu fizikisi, kukhuthala kumapangidwa ndi kukana kwa danga: tinthu tating'onoting'ono kapena gawo timalepheretsa thupi kuyenda mwachangu. Pokhudzana, kukana koteroko kumatsimikizira chidwi chogwira ntchito.
Kuika chidwi pa ena, tikuwoneka kuti tikuchedwetsa zilakolako zomwe zimachokera - mawu, manja, zochita ...
Udindo wapadera umaseweredwa ndi mafunso omwe amangoyang'ana osati zomwe interlocutor akunena kwa ine (ndi lingaliro lotani lomwe akuyesera kufotokoza?), koma momwe izi zimachitikira (mu liwu liti? .
Kotero ndikhoza kuchita zinthu zingapo nthawi imodzi. Choyamba, sindimakhudzidwa ndi zomwe zili, zomwe zimandithandiza kuchepetsa zomwe ndimachita. Kachiwiri, ndimapeza zambiri, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimabisika. Mwachitsanzo, mu gawo ndikumva: "Sindikukondani kwambiri." Zomwe zimachitika mwachilengedwe kwa ine zitha kukhala chitetezo, komanso kubwezera - "Chabwino, ngati simundikonda, tsalani bwino."
Koma potembenukira ku momwe mawu akuthwawo amanenedwa, ndi kamvekedwe kake, manja ndi kaimidwe kamene kankatsagana, ndimachepetsa ndikusiya yankho langa. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, ndimatha kuzindikira: munthu amayesera kuthetsa ubale ndi ine mwamawu, koma amakhala molimba mtima komanso momasuka pampando, mwachiwonekere sakufuna kuchoka.
Ndiyeno ndi chiyani icho? Kodi mungafotokoze bwanji khalidwe lotere? Kodi kasitomala angafotokoze yekha?
Kukambitsirana kolimbikitsa kwambiri ndi mzere watsopano wamankhwala ukhoza kukula kuchokera ku zotsutsana zomwe zapezeka.
Ndimadzifunsanso zomwe zikuchitika kwa ine: kodi interlocutor amandikhudza bwanji? Kodi mawu ake amandikwiyitsa kapena amandimvera chisoni? Kodi ndikufuna kuchoka kwa iye kapena kuyandikira pafupi? Kodi kulankhulana kwathu kumafanana bwanji - ndewu kapena kuvina, malonda kapena mgwirizano?
Pakapita nthawi, makasitomala amaphunziranso kuyang'anira chidwi mwa kufunsa funso: "Kodi chikuchitika ndi chiyani ndipo chikuchitika bwanji?" Pang’ono ndi pang’ono, amachedwetsa pang’onopang’ono ndi kuyamba kukhala atcheru kwambiri ndipo, motero, amakhala ndi moyo wolemera. Ndi iko komwe, monga momwe mbuye wina wachibuda ananenera, ngati tikhala mosasamala, timafera m’maloto.