Chikondi ndi maganizo achikondi amene sitingathe kuwathetsa. Mkhalidwe woterewu wafala m’chikhalidwe chathu, koma maukwati okomera mtima akhala akuchitika kwa nthaŵi yaitali, ndipo ena akhala akuyenda bwino kwambiri. Wolemba mbiri wa ku America, Lawrence Samuel, akupereka kuyang'ana mozama pa mfundo zonse ziwiri pa funso lamuyaya ili.
Kwa zaka mazana ambiri, chimodzi mwa zinsinsi zazikulu za anthu ndicho chikondi. Maonekedwe a kumverera uku amatchedwa mphatso yaumulungu kapena temberero, ndipo mabuku osawerengeka, ndakatulo ndi zolemba zafilosofi zinaperekedwa kwa izo. Komabe, malinga ndi wolemba mbiri Lawrence Samuel, kumayambiriro kwa zaka chikwi zimenezi, sayansi yapereka umboni wochuluka wakuti chikondi kwenikweni ndi ntchito yamoyo, ndipo mkuntho wa malingaliro mu ubongo wa munthu umayambitsidwa ndi cocktail yamphamvu yamankhwala yomwe imatsagana nayo.
Dzikondeni nokha
Mu 2002, katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku America Robert Epstein adafalitsa nkhani yomwe inachititsa chidwi kwambiri. Analengeza kuti akufunafuna mkazi amene angayambe naye kukondana pakapita nthawi. Cholinga cha kuyesaku chinali kuyankha funso lakuti ngati anthu awiri angaphunzire kukondana mwadala. Izi sizongolengeza, Epstein adalongosola, koma chovuta kwambiri ku nthano yakuti aliyense amayenera kugwa m'chikondi ndi munthu m'modzi yekha, yemwe adzakhala naye moyo wawo wonse muukwati wosangalala.
M'malo modalira tsogolo, Epstein anatenga njira ya sayansi kuti apeze chikondi ndipo iyemwini anakhala ngati nkhumba yoyesera. Mpikisano udalengezedwa pomwe azimayi ambiri adatenga nawo gawo. Ndi wopambanayo, Epstein adakonza zokhala ndi masiku, kupita ku upangiri wachikondi ndi ubale, kenako ndikulembera limodzi buku la zomwe zidachitikazo.
Ambiri omwe ankamudziwa, kuphatikizapo amayi ake, anali okonzeka kuganiza kuti wasayansi wolemekezeka yemwe anali ndi doctorate kuchokera ku Harvard wapenga. Komabe, ponena za ntchito yachilendoyi, Epstein anali wovuta kwambiri.
Mind vs zomverera
Gulu la zamaganizo linali lodzaza ndi zokambirana za Epstein kutsutsa kwa lingaliro lofunika lakuti chikondi si chisankho chaufulu cha munthu, koma chinachake chimene chimamuchitikira iye motsutsana ndi chifuniro chake. Mawu akuti "kugwa m'chikondi" kwenikweni amatanthauza "kugwa m'chikondi", motero lingaliro likuwonekera m'chinenerocho. Njira yodziwikiratu ndi njira yopezera chinthu chakumverera uku ndi yotsutsana ndi lingaliro lakuti chibadwa chathu chachikulu ndikungolola chilengedwe kuti chichite zinthu zake.
Patapita nthawi, zokambirana za zomwe Epstein adachita mwachidwi zidakonzedwa pamsonkhano wa Smart Marriages. “Kodi ichi ndi mpatuko weniweni, kapena ndi lingaliro limene lingathe kusintha kamvedwe kathu kameneko ka mmene chikondi chimagwirira ntchito?” anafunsa woyang'anira Jan Levin, katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi ubale.
Patatha chaka chimodzi pambuyo pa kufalitsidwa kwa nkhani yotsutsanayi, Epstein adakali ndi maganizo kuti American "chikondi formula" sizinali zopambana. Sitinafunikire kuyang'ana patali zitsanzo. Maukwati ambiri omwe sanapambane anali umboni kwa iye kuti lingaliro la "kupeza wokwatirana naye kuti azikhala mosangalala mpaka kalekale" inali nthano yokongola koma yonyenga.
Mabanja opitilira 50% padziko lonse lapansi ndi olinganizidwa ndipo amakhala nthawi yayitali kuposa aku America
Levin anali wotsimikiza kuti kunali kosatheka kutembenuza malingaliro kuti achitepo pankhaniyi, ndipo anatsutsa Epstein: "Chikondi chimangochitika mwachisawawa, sichikhoza kudzutsidwa mwachinyengo."
Komabe, wolemba gulu lina, John Gray, wolemba mabuku ogulitsa kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, amakhulupirira kuti Epstein anali ndi chinthu chofunikira m'maganizo ndipo ayenera kuyamikiridwa chifukwa cha zomwe adathandizira pa sayansi. "Timadalira nthano zachikondi m'malo mwa luso laubwenzi lomwe limapangitsa ukwati kukhala mgwirizano wopindulitsa," adatero mtsogoleri wa ubale.
Anathandizidwa ndi wina wochita nawo zokambirana ndi dzina "lolankhula" Pat Love. Chikondi adavomereza kuti lingaliro la Epstein ndi lomveka, chifukwa chakuti maukwati opitilira 50% padziko lapansi amakonzedwa ndipo, pafupifupi, amakhala nthawi yayitali kuposa aku America. “Theka la dziko limalingalira kuti uyenera kukwatira kaye ndiyeno kukondana,” iye akukumbukira motero. M'malingaliro ake, kuchita zinthu limodzi ndi chikondi kungakhale maziko abwino a kukulitsa chikondi kwa nthaŵi yaitali.
Kodi chimapangitsa mtima kukhala bata ndi chiyani?
Ndiye kodi kuyesa molimba mtima kwa Epstein kunapambana? M’malo mokhala inde, akutero wolemba mbiri Lawrence Samuel. Palibe mayankho oposa 1000 omwe wasayansi adalandira kuchokera kwa owerenga omwe adamulimbikitsa kupitiliza ubale wake ndi iwo. Mwinamwake, njira iyi yopezera bwenzi sinali yopambana kwambiri.
Pamapeto pake, Epstein anakumana ndi mayiyo, koma mwangozi, pa ndege. Ngakhale kuti anavomera kutengamo mbali m’kuyesako, zinthu zinali zovuta chifukwa cha mikhalidwe: ankakhala ku Venezuela ndi ana a ukwati wam’mbuyo amene sanafune kuchoka m’dzikolo.
Osavomereza kugonja, Epstein adakonzekera kuyesa lingaliro lake pa maanja angapo ndipo, ngati zotsatira zake zinali zabwino, akonze mapulogalamu a maubwenzi ozikidwa pa chikondi "chokhazikika". Malinga ndi chikhulupiriro chake cholimba, kusankha wokwatirana naye chifukwa cha chilakolako chenicheni ndi chimodzimodzi ndi "kuledzera ndi kukwatira wina ku Las Vegas." Yakwana nthawi yoti tibweretsenso mwambo wakale waukwati wolinganizidwa, akutero Epstein.