Mvetserani kuchokera ku liwu latheka. Salani ngodya zakuthwa. Kulekerera. Kuwona mavuto muubwenzi munthawi yake ndikuyesera kuthetsa chilichonse popanda kukanikiza mnzanu. Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe ife akazi timachita mwachisawawa - chifukwa "tinalengedwa" pa izi. Zotsatira zake, aliyense amavutika nthawi zambiri: tokha, okondedwa athu, maubwenzi. N’chifukwa chiyani zimenezi zikuchitika?
Amakumbukira masiku akubadwa a anthu onse a m’banja lawo, kuphatikizapo achibale awo akutali. Amadziwa ndi mayina osati mabwenzi onse a ana, komanso makolo awo. Iwo ali ndi udindo pa maubwenzi a m'banja - musaiwale mabwenzi akale, kuwaitana kuti azichezera, kusunga miyambo yokhudzana. Amayamba kukambirana za zovuta za ubale ndikukakamiza mnzakeyo kuti apite kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo abanja.
Amalemba moyo wonse wa banja - amajambula zithunzi za mnzawo ndi ana, ndipo iwowo nthawi zonse sakhala nawo. Amagwira ntchito monga wothandizira mabanja, manijala apakhomo, mkhalapakati, wotonthoza, wochemerera, ndi kabuku kopanda malire komwe mamembala onse a m'banja amatha kutsanulira chidziŵitso chomwe alibe nthawi yokumbukira.
Monga momwe mungaganizire, "iwo" osamvetsetseka ndi akazi, ndipo chilichonse mwa izi ndi ntchito yosawoneka yokhazikika yomwe imakhala pamapewa awo. Ntchito yovuta kufotokoza momveka bwino. Ntchito, chifukwa chomwe makina onse amachitidwe amagwira ntchito bwino - kuchokera kubanja lililonse kupita kugulu lonse.
Kodi n’chiyani chikuphatikizidwa m’ntchito imeneyi? Kupanga ndi kukonza "chitonthozo" ndi "nyengo m'nyumba", kukomera mtima kosalekeza ngakhale pakakhala mikangano, chisamaliro ndi chithandizo, kufunitsitsa kuwongolera ngodya ndi kulolerana, kufunitsitsa kutumikira zosowa za ena ndikukhala ndi udindo pamalingaliro awo - mu zonse, ndendende zomwe anthu amayembekezera kuchokera kwa amayi.
Wobadwa kusamalira?
Tinkaganiza kuti amayi adalengedwa kuti azithandiza, kuthandizira komanso kusamalira. Taphunzira kuti akazi mwachibadwa kwambiri maganizo choncho bwino kumvetsa «maganizo anu» ndipo amakonda kulankhula za iwo. Ndipo nthawi zambiri amalankhula kwambiri za iwo - "amachotsa ubongo." Tili otsimikiza kuti ndi amayi omwe ali ndi chidwi ndi maubwenzi, chitukuko chawo ndi tsogolo lawo, pamene amuna safunikira ndipo alibe chidwi.
Timaona mopepuka lingaliro lakuti amayi amabadwa ali ndi ntchito zambiri ndipo amatha kusunga mndandanda wautali wa zochita pamitu yawo, iwowo ndi ena, pamene amuna amatha kugwira ntchito imodzi ndikuyang'ana zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri.
Komabe, ngati mumakumba mozama, mungapeze kuti chisamaliro chosatha ndi khalidwe la mphaka wa Leopold si makhalidwe obadwa nawo omwe amakhalapo mwa kugonana kwachikazi, koma ndi luso lomwe linapezedwa kudzera mu ndondomeko ya chikhalidwe cha amuna ndi akazi. Atsikana kuyambira ali ana amaphunzira kukhala ndi udindo pa malingaliro ndi makhalidwe a ena.
Ngakhale kuti anyamata amasewera masewera olimbitsa thupi komanso amphamvu, nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi chigawo chaukali ndi mpikisano, atsikana amalimbikitsidwa kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakulitsa chifundo, chisamaliro ndi mgwirizano.
Mwachitsanzo, "ana aakazi-amayi" ndi masewera amasewera. Atsikana amayamikiridwa chifukwa chokhala ochereza alendo otanganidwa, osamalira alongo achikulire ndi ana aakazi, pamene anyamata amalimbikitsidwa kaamba ka zipambano zosiyana kotheratu.
Pambuyo pake, atsikana amaphunzitsidwa kukhala ndi udindo wa malingaliro a anyamata ndikusamalira mkhalidwe wawo wamaganizo - kumvetsetsa kuti pigtails amakoka chifukwa cha chikondi, kuthandiza mnansi pa desiki, osati kuputa nkhanza kapena chilakolako ndi khalidwe lawo, kudziwa kumene kukhala chete, ndi kumene kutamanda ndi kulimbikitsa, ambiri - kukhala msungwana wabwino.
Panjira, atsikana amafotokozedwa kuti gawo la mawu ndi gawo la malingaliro ndi gawo lachikazi, losasangalatsa kwenikweni kwa amuna. Munthu wosasintha maganizo ndi taciturn, samamvetsetsa zovuta za zochitika zamaganizo, samalira, sasonyeza kutengeka mtima, sadziwa momwe angasamalire ndipo, kawirikawiri, si mtundu wina wa "wofooka wofooka."
Atsikana ndi anyamata okulirapo akupitilizabe kukhala ndi moyo womwewo: amamusamalira, ana, abwenzi, achibale komanso moyo wabanja, ndipo amadzisamalira ndikuyika ndalama m'moyo wake. Azimayi maganizo ntchito zimalowa ndi «lubricates» mbali zonse za moyo, kuwapangitsa kukhala omasuka ndi osangalatsa ena. Ndipo ntchitoyi ili ndi nkhope miliyoni.
Kodi ntchito yamaganizo ndi chiyani?
Tiyeni tiyambe ndi chitsanzo chosavuta koma chodziwika bwino. Mu Ubale: The Work Women Do (1978), Pamela Fishman adasanthula zojambulidwa zamakambirano atsiku ndi tsiku pakati pa abambo ndi amai ndipo adafika pamalingaliro osangalatsa kwambiri.
Zinapezeka kuti anali amayi omwe adatenga udindo waukulu wosunga zokambiranazo: adafunsa mafunso osachepera kasanu ndi kamodzi kuposa amuna, "owombera" m'malo oyenera, ndipo m'njira zina amasonyeza chidwi chawo.
Amuna, kumbali ina, sakhala ndi chidwi ndi momwe zokambirana zimayendera bwino, ndipo safuna kuchirikiza ngati chidwi cha wokambiranacho chafooka kapena mutuwo watha.
Tangoganizani, tonse takumanapo ndi izi m'moyo wathu watsiku ndi tsiku. Anakhala pa madeti, kufunsa funso pambuyo funso ndi kugwedeza mutu kwa mnzako watsopano, kusirira iye mokweza ndi kufuna kudziwa zambiri, osalandira chidwi mofanana pobwezera. Anafufuza mwachidwi mutu woti alankhule ndi wowatsogolera watsopano ndipo adamva kuti ali ndi udindo ngati zokambiranazo zitayamba kuzimiririka.
Analemba mauthenga aatali ndi ziganizo, mafunso, ndi mafotokozedwe atsatanetsatane a malingaliro awo, ndipo poyankha adalandira "chabwino" chachifupi kapena palibe konse ("Sindinadziwe choti ndikuyankheni"). Daily adafunsa mnzakeyo momwe tsiku lake lidayendera, ndikumvetsera nkhani zazitali, osapeza funso loyankha.
Koma ntchito yamaganizo sikuti ndi luso lokhalabe ndi zokambirana, komanso udindo woyambitsa. Amayi ndi omwe nthawi zambiri amayenera kuyambitsa kukambirana za zovuta zaubwenzi, tsogolo lawo, ndi zovuta zina.
Nthawi zambiri kuyesayesa koteroko kumveketsa zinthu kumakhalabe kopanda phindu - mkazi amapatsidwa "kunyamula ubongo" ndikunyalanyazidwa, kapena iye mwiniyo pamapeto pake ayenera kutsimikizira mwamuna.
Tonse mwina takhala mumkhalidwe wofananawo: timayesetsa kumufotokozera mnzathu mokoma mtima kuti zomwe amachita zimatipweteka kapena sizikutikhutiritsa, koma patangopita mphindi zochepa timapeza kuti tikuchita mawu otonthoza - "zili bwino, iwalani; zonse zili bwino."
Koma ntchito yotengeka maganizo imakhala ndi zinthu zambiri kunja kwa zokambirana zovuta. Ntchito yotengeka maganizo ndi yokhudza kupanga orgasm kuti mwamuna azimva ngati wokondedwa wabwino. Uku ndi kugonana mukafuna bwenzi kuti maganizo ake asawonongeke. Uku ndiko kukonzekera kwa banja ndi moyo wamagulu a banja - misonkhano, kugula, tchuthi, maphwando a ana.
Izi zimapangitsa moyo kukhala wosavuta kwa mnzanu pa ndege yapanyumba. Izi ndizizindikiro za chikondi ndi chisamaliro zomwe zimapangidwa popanda kupempha kwa mnzako. Uku ndiko kuzindikira kuvomerezeka kwa malingaliro a mnzanuyo, kulemekeza zokhumba zake ndi zopempha zake. Ichi ndi chisonyezero choyamikira kwa mnzako pa zomwe amachita. Mndandandawu ukhoza kupitilizidwa mpaka kalekale.
Ndipo chiyani kuchokera pa izi?
Chabwino, akazi amagwira ntchito mokhudza mtima ndipo amuna satero. Chavuta ndi chiyani apa? Vuto ndilakuti pamene m’modzi wa okwatiranawo akuyenera kunyamula katundu wowirikiza, akhoza kusweka pansi pa katunduyu. Azimayi amagwira ntchito ziwiri ndikulipira ndi thanzi lawo, thupi ndi maganizo.
Kutopa, kupsinjika maganizo, nkhawa, ndi matenda obwera chifukwa cha kupsinjika maganizo ndizo zomwe akazi amalipidwa powerengera chifukwa cha khama lawo.
Zimakhala kuti kuganizira nthawi zonse za ena, kukonzekera, kulamulira, kukumbukira, kukumbutsa, kupanga ndandanda, kuganizira zofuna za ena, kusamalira malingaliro a ena ndi kulolerana ndizovulaza kwambiri komanso zoopsa.
Komabe, ziwerengero sizilinso zankhanza kwa amuna. Malinga ndi kunena kwa Bungwe la Swedish Statistics, amuna ndi amene amamva chisoni kwambiri pambuyo pa kusudzulana — amakhala osungulumwa kwambiri, amakhala ndi maunansi ocheperapo ndi ana, mabwenzi ochepa, kukumana koipitsitsa ndi achibale, kukhala ndi moyo waufupi, ndipo chiwopsezo chodzipha n’chochuluka kwambiri. kuposa akazi.
Zikuwonekeratu kuti kulephera kuchita ntchito zokhudzidwa, kusunga maubwenzi, kutengeka mtima ndi kusamalira ena sikuli kovulaza komanso koopsa kuposa kutumikira ena moyo wanu wonse.
Ndipo izi zikusonyeza kuti chitsanzo chamakono chomanga maubwenzi ndi kugawa udindo mwa iwo sichikugwiranso ntchito. Yakwana nthawi yosintha, simukuganiza?