“Zosangalatsa Zoletsedwa”: Kuchita zinthu zomwe sunaloledwe kuchita uli mwana

Ndinayenda mumsewu ndikunyamula chitumbuwa. Zokoma, zofunda, zogulidwa kumene kuchokera ku buledi kakang'ono popita kunyumba. Ndipo nditangoibweretsa kukamwa panga, mawu a agogo anga anatuluka m’mutu mwanga: “Osaluma! Osadya popita!

Aliyense wa ife ali ndi zokondweretsa zathu zazing'ono - zokondweretsa zolakwa, monga momwe zimatchulidwira m'dziko lolankhula Chingerezi. Pali chinachake cholondola m'maganizo m'mawu awa - olondola kwambiri kuposa "zoletsedwa" kapena "zobisika" zosangalatsa. Mwinamwake "wosalakwa" mu Chirasha ndi pafupi, koma "ayi" tinthu tasintha kwambiri tanthauzo. Chithumwa chonsecho ndi basi, zikuwoneka, mukumverera kolakwa komweku. Kulakwa kumasuliridwa kuchokera ku Chingerezi kuti "vinyo". Izi ndi zosangalatsa zomwe timadziimba mlandu. Kodi zikuchokera kuti?

Inde, ichi ndi chipatso choletsedwa. Zoletsedwa ndi zokoma. Ambiri a ife tinapatsidwa malire ndi malamulo tili ana. Kuwaphwanya, mwachibadwa tinadzimva kuti ndife olakwa - chifukwa n'zotheka, monga momwe zimawonekera kwa ife, zotsatira zoipa kwa ife eni kapena ena - "agogo aakazi adzakhumudwa ngati simukudya chakudya chamadzulo chomwe adaphika", "kudya poyenda ndi koipa kwa chimbudzi. ” Nthawi zina tinkachita manyazi - ngati kuphwanyako kunali ndi mboni, makamaka omwe adatiletsa.

Mu 1909, katswiri wa psychoanalyst waku Hungary Sandor Ferenczi adapanga mawu akuti "introjection". Kotero iye adatcha njira yosadziwika bwino, chifukwa chake timatengera chikhulupiriro mu ubwana, timaphatikizapo mu dziko lathu lamkati "zoyamba" - zikhulupiriro, malingaliro, malamulo kapena malingaliro omwe analandira kuchokera kwa ena: anthu, aphunzitsi, banja.

Izi zikhoza kukhala zofunikira kuti mwanayo azitsatira malamulo a chitetezo, machitidwe a anthu komanso malamulo a dziko lake. Koma mawu oyamba ena amakhudza zochita za tsiku ndi tsiku kapena zizolowezi. Ndipo, tikukula, titha kuwalingaliranso, kuwataya kapena kuvomereza kale mwachidziwitso. Mwachitsanzo, tikamadya zakudya zopatsa thanzi, mayi angasankhe kuti “mudye supu” ndi “musawononge maswiti” akhoza kukhala chosankha chathu.

Kwa anthu ambiri, zoyambira zimakhalabe mkati, zomwe zimakhudza khalidwe. Winawake amangopitirizabe kumenyana nawo mosaganizira, "kukakamira" pachiwonetsero cha achinyamata. Ndipo wina, wosadzilola kuswa zoletsazo, amadzudzula ena mwaukali chifukwa cha ufulu wawo wochita zinthu.

Nthawi zina, poganiziranso, malingaliro a makolo kapena aphunzitsi amatha kukanidwa, ndiyeno timawononga chiyambicho, "kulavulira" choletsa chomwe sichingagwirizane ndi ife.

Izi ndi zomwe ogwiritsa ntchito pa social media amalemba za zosangalatsa zawo zolakwa:

• "Ndimavina nyimbo ndikukhala ndi mahedifoni pamene ndikuyenda mumsewu."
• “Ndikhoza kupanga saladi ndi tomato basi! Zapezeka kuti nkhaka ndizosankha! ”
• "Ndimadya jamu kuchokera mumtsuko, osasamutsira ku vase. Pamaso pa agogo, uku ndi tchimo!”
• "Nditha kuchita china madzulo: kupita ku sitolo nthawi yachisanu ndi chitatu, ndikuyamba kuphika supu pa khumi ndi limodzi. Banja limakhulupirira kuti zonse ziyenera kuchitika m'mawa - mwamsanga ndi bwino. Nthawi zina zinali zomveka. Mwachitsanzo, m'sitolo, ndithudi, madzulo kunalibe kanthu - "adataya" chinthu chofunika kwambiri m'mawa. Koma ndiye maziko omveka adayiwalika, ndipo chizoloŵezicho chinatsalira: m'mawa simungawerenge, kuwonera kanema, kugwedeza, kumwa khofi kwa nthawi yaitali ... "
• "Ndimaviika zikondamoyo mumtsuko wa kirimu wowawasa pamene ndikuphika."
• "Ndikakula - ndipo ndimatha kuyeretsa ndikafuna, osati Loweruka m'mawa."
• “Ndimamwa koko wokhazikika m’chitini! Mumapanga mabowo awiri - ndipo voila, timadzi tokoma tikutsanulira!
• "Sindimatambasula" zakudya zabwino monga parmesan kapena jamoni kwa nthawi yaitali, ndimadya nthawi yomweyo.
• “Kutuluka m’sitolo kapena ndi agalu atavala mathalauza a thukuta. Makolo angadabwe.”
• “Ndikafuna kuyeretsa kapena kutsuka mazenera, ndimayitana anthu oyeretsa: ndi zachisoni kungotaya nthawi yanu pa izi. Nditha kukhala tsiku lonse ndi buku kumapeto kwa sabata, ngati ndikufuna, osachita bizinesi iliyonse.
• "Ndimayenda m'nyumba wamaliseche (nthawi zina ndimasewera gitala monga choncho)."

Zikuwoneka kuti m'mabanja osiyanasiyana malingaliro amatha kutsutsidwa kwambiri:

• "Ndinayamba kuvala masiketi ndi zodzoladzola!"
• “Ndili mwana, sindinkaloledwa kuyenda nditavala ma jeans ndi mathalauza chifukwa ndiwe mtsikana. Mosakayikira, m'moyo wanga wamkulu ndimavala masiketi ndi madiresi kamodzi kapena kawiri pachaka.

Chochititsa chidwi n’chakuti, ndemanga zotchuka kwambiri ndi monga “sindisita,” “Ndimatsuka pamene ndikufuna, kapena sindimayeretsa kwa nthaŵi yaitali,” ndi “sindiyala bedi langa.” Mwinamwake muubwana wathu zofuna za makolo zimenezi zinali kubwerezedwa kaŵirikaŵiri makamaka.

• “Ndinapha theka la ubwana wanga chifukwa cha izi! Ndikakumbukira phiri lansalu limene ndinayenera kulisita, ndidzanjenjemera kwambiri!”
• “Sindinapange mashelefu ndi makabati otsegula m’nyumba mwanga kuti ndisapukute fumbi mmenemo, ndikutolera chilichonse.”

Zoletsa zomwe timaziwona kuti ndizoyenera ndizosangalatsa, komabe timaziphwanya mwadala, timapeza chisangalalo chapadera ndi izi:

• "Ndikapita kumalo abwino kukawonera kanema wanzeru, nthawi zonse ndimayika botolo la Riga Balsam ndi thumba la chokoleti kapena mtedza m'chikwama changa. Ndipo ndimachita maliseche ndi maswiti.
• “Ndimapukuta pansi ndi chala changa nditathira tiyi wotsekemera. Chokayikitsa, chowona, chisangalalo ndikuponda pansi pomata.
• "Ndimawotcha ma dumplings popanda chivindikiro pa chitofu chochapidwa kumene."
• “Sindisunga magetsi. Kuwala kumayaka m'nyumba yonse.
• “Sinditumiza chakudya chochokera m’miphika n’kupita nacho m’zotengera, koma ndimachiika m’firiji. Ndili ndi malo okwanira, mosiyana ndi amayi anga.

Kukanidwa kwa zoletsedwa kungathenso kuwonetsedwa pakulera ana:

• "Zomwe zimasokoneza kwambiri zimachitika panthawi yomwe ana amawonekera. Mumawalola zomwe makolo anu sanakuloleni inu ndi inu nokha: kudyetsa pamene mukufuna, kugona pamodzi, musamatsuke zovala (ndipo makamaka kuchokera kumbali zonse ziwiri), gudubumuka mumsewu mumatope, musavale slippers. kuvala chipewa nyengo iliyonse. .
• "Ndinalola mwana wanga kujambula pepala lazithunzi momwe amafunira. Aliyense ndi wosangalala.”

Ndipo nthawi zina ndi nthawi ya maphunziro pamene timakumbukira maganizo a makolo, kuzindikira ubwino wawo ndi kuwapereka kwa ana athu:

• “Ukakhala kholo iwe mwini, zoletsa zonsezi zimabwerera, chifukwa umayenera kupereka chitsanzo. Ndipo valani chipewa, ndi maswiti - mutatha kudya.
• “Ana akabwera, ziletso zambiri nthawi yomweyo zimakhala zatanthauzo. Chabwino, kawirikawiri, ndi kupusa kupita opanda chipewa pamene kukuzizira, ndipo osasamba m'manja musanadye. ”

Zosangalatsa zina zimangophwanya miyambo ina yodziwika bwino:

• "Ndili ndi chisangalalo chimodzi cholakwa, chomwe, komabe, palibe amene adandiletsa. Inenso ndinaphunzira za izo zaka zingapo zapitazo kuchokera ku American TV mndandanda. Chisangalalo chagona chakuti chakudya chamadzulo kudya ... kadzutsa. phala ndi mkaka, toast ndi kupanikizana ndi zosangalatsa zina. Zikumveka ngati zopenga, koma anthu omwe amakonda chakudya cham'mawa ayenera kuyamikira."

“Zisangalalo zodziimba mlandu zitha kubweretsa zongochitika zokha m’miyoyo yathu”

Elena Chernyaeva - katswiri wa zamaganizo, wolemba nkhani

Kudzimva wolakwa kungagawidwe pafupifupi mitundu iwiri - yathanzi komanso yopanda thanzi, yapoizoni. Tikhoza kudziimba mlandu ngati tachita zinthu zosayenera kapena zovulaza. Kulakwa kwa mtundu umenewu kumatiuza kuti, “Walakwitsa. Chitanipo kanthu pankhaniyi. ” Kumatithandiza kuzindikira zolakwa zathu, kumatisonkhezera kulapa ndi kukonza choipa chimene tachita.

Kudziimba mlandu kwapoizoni ndikumverera kogwirizana ndi malamulo ena, kuyenera kuti kudachokera ku zoyembekeza za makolo, chikhalidwe kapena chikhalidwe. Nthawi zambiri timawatengera ubwana wathu, sitimazindikira nthawi zonse, sitiwayesa kuunika, sitiwunika momwe amayenderana ndi moyo wathu.

Kulakwa sikumayambira kokha - timaphunzira kumverera pamene tidakali aang'ono, kuphatikizapo pamene tikudzudzulidwa, kudzudzulidwa chifukwa cha zomwe timachita zolakwika kuchokera ku malingaliro a akuluakulu: makolo, agogo, aphunzitsi, aphunzitsi.

Kukumana ndi chiwopsezo chakupha kumathandizidwa ndi mawu a "wotsutsa wamkati", omwe amatiuza kuti tikuchita cholakwika, osatsatira malamulo ndi zoyenera. Mawuwa amabwereza mawu ndi ziganizo zomwe tinamvapo kwa anthu ena, nthawi zambiri akuluakulu.

Wotsutsa wamkati nthawi zonse amayang'ana mawu athu, zochita zathu ngakhalenso malingaliro athu, kutifananiza ndi zongopeka komanso zomwe sitingathe kuzikwaniritsa. Ndipo popeza sitifikako: sitilankhula, sitichita, ndipo sitimva “monga kuyenera kukhalira,” wosulizayo nthaŵi zonse adzakhala ndi zifukwa zosatha zakutitonza.

Choncho, m’poyenera kukhala tcheru ndi kudziimba mlandu. Popeza tazimva, ndikofunikira kudziuza tokha "kusiya" ndikuphunzira zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwathu ndi zomwe mawu a wotsutsa akunena. Ndikoyenera kudzifunsa kuti mawuwa ali ndi cholinga chotani, komanso kuti ndi ntchito yanji kapena lamulo lomwe limayambitsa kudziimba mlandu. Kodi malamulo awa, ziyembekezo zomwe timaweruzidwa ndi wotsutsa wamkati, ndi zachikale? Mwina pakali pano tapanga kale malingaliro atsopano okhudza mmene tiyenera kuchitira.

Ndipo, ndithudi, ndikofunika kudziwa zotsatira za kugwiritsira ntchito lamulo pazochitika zinazake. Kodi tanthauzo lake lalifupi komanso lalitali ndi lotani kwa ife ndi anthu ena omwe akukhudzidwa? Kodi lamuloli ndi lomveka, kupatsidwa kwa yemwe lidzavulaza ndi kuthandiza? Munthu angadzifunse ngati ali woyenerera kwa ife lerolino, kaya amatithandiza kukwaniritsa zofunika zathu zofunika kwambiri.

Tikazindikira zimene zimakhudza khalidwe lathu komanso mmene zimakhudzira khalidwe lathu, zimakhala zotheka kusankha tokha mogwirizana ndi zimene timakonda komanso zimene timayendera. Chotsatira chake n’chakuti tingadzimve kukhala ndi ufulu wokulirapo ndi kukhoza kusonkhezera miyoyo yathu. Chifukwa chake, zokondweretsa zolakwa zimatha kubweretsa chisangalalo chochulukirapo m'miyoyo yathu ndikukhala masitepe opita kumoyo womwe timadzipangira tokha, kukana zomwe zidali zachikale ndipo sizitipindulira, kuchotsa zomwe zidali zomveka m'mbuyomu, ndikubweretsa zatsopano.

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Ndinakula kalekale, ndipo ziletso za zolinga zabwino zimene anaikidwa m’mutu mwanga zidakali m’maganizo mwanga. Ndipo ine, kale wamkulu, ndikhoza kupanga chisankho chozindikira: khalani oleza mtima ndikubweretsa chitumbuwa kunyumba kuti mudye ndi zokometsera (agogo, munganyadire ine!) Borscht, kapena kuwononga popita, kupeza chisangalalo chachikulu, kumakulitsidwa ndi lingaliro lachibwana lomwelo la mwana wosabadwayo woletsedwa. Kumverera komwe, monga mukudziwira, nthawi zina kumakhala kokometsera kosangalatsa kwa zisangalalo zazing'ono.