"Nthawi yanu yatha": chifukwa chiyani gawo ndi psychotherapist ndi lalifupi kwambiri

Kwa anthu omwe amasankha kufunafuna chithandizo chamankhwala kwa nthawi yoyamba, nkhani za kutalika kwa gawo limodzi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zokhumudwitsa. Ndipo kwenikweni - chingachitike ndi chiyani pasanathe ola limodzi? Kodi ndimotani mmene “nthaŵi yochiritsira” imakhala yaifupi chonchi?

“Pali malingaliro angapo, ndipo ena amatilozera kwa Freud,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi katswiri wa mabanja Becky Styumfig. "Palibe mgwirizano pazimenezi, koma zoona zake n'zakuti mphindi 45-50 ndi nthawi yokhazikika yomwe wothandizira amakhala ndi kasitomala." Pali zifukwa zingapo za izi, zonse zothandiza komanso zamaganizo.

mmene kukumana

Izi ndizosavuta kwambiri potengera momwe zinthu ziliri, komanso kwa aliyense: kwa kasitomala, yemwe angapange nthawi yokumana ndi katswiri asanagwire ntchito komanso atangomaliza kumene (ndi ena ngakhale pa nthawi ya nkhomaliro), komanso kwa othandizira omwe akufunika 10- 15 -kupuma kwa mphindi pakati pa magawo kuti mulembe zolemba za gawo lomwe langotha ​​kumene, kuyimbiraninso omwe adayimba nthawi ya gawoli, yankhani mauthenga, ndipo pomaliza, ingomwani madzi ndikupumula.

"Msonkhanowu ukhoza kukhala wovuta kwambiri m'maganizo kwa katswiriyo mwiniwakeyo, ndipo nthawi yopuma ndiyo mwayi wokhawo wopuma ndikuchira," akufotokoza motero Tammer Malati, katswiri wamaganizo. "Uwu ndi mwayi wokhawo woyambitsanso, "kuchoka" kuchokera kwa kasitomala wam'mbuyo ndikuwongolera m'maganizo kuti ukakumane ndi wina," Styumfig akuvomereza.

Othandizira ena amafupikitsa magawo mpaka mphindi 45 kapena kukonza nthawi yopuma kwa theka la ola pakati pa odwala.

Zomwe zili pamisonkhano

Gawoli likafupikitsa, ndiye kuti zokambiranazo zimakhala zomveka komanso "zozama". Pozindikira kuti ali ndi nthawi yochepera ola limodzi, kasitomala, monga lamulo, sapita m'mafotokozedwe aatali. Kuonjezera apo, mwa njira iyi sayenera kubwerera ku zochitika zowawa zakale kwa nthawi yaitali. "Kupanda kutero, makasitomala angakhumudwenso ndipo sangabwere kumsonkhano wotsatira."

"Ola limodzi kapena kupitilira apo muli nokha ndi malingaliro anu, makamaka osalimbikitsa, ndizovuta kwa ambiri. Pambuyo pake, zimakhala zovuta kuti abwerere ku ntchito za tsiku ndi tsiku, ndipo makamaka ntchito, "akufotokoza psychotherapist Brittany Bufar.

Kutalika kwa nthawiyi kumathandiza kuti pakhale malire pakati pa wothandizira ndi kasitomala. Stumfig akunena kuti gawo la mphindi 45 kapena 50 lidzalola wothandizira kuti akhalebe ndi cholinga, osaweruza, osayang'ana mozama pazovuta za kasitomala komanso osawatengera mtima.

Kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi moyenera

Pamisonkhano yaifupi, onse awiri amayesa kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yomwe ali nayo kwambiri. "Umu ndi momwe kasitomala ndi wothandizira amafikira pamtima pamavuto mwachangu. Kalankhulidwe kakang'ono kalikonse kamakhala kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi mopanda nzeru, zomwe ndi zodula kwambiri,” akufotokoza motero Stümfig.

Ngati kasitomala amvetsetsa kuti vuto lake ndi lapadziko lonse lapansi ndipo sizingatheke kuti lithetsedwe mu gawo, izi zimamulimbikitsa, pamodzi ndi wothandizira, kuti ayang'ane njira zothandizira m'deralo, njira zomwe zingathe "kuchotsedwa" ndikugwiritsidwa ntchito mpaka gawo lotsatira. .

Laurie Gottlieb, katswiri wa zamaganizo ndiponso mlembi wa buku lakuti Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, anati: “Tikakhala ndi nthawi yochuluka, nthawi zambiri zimatitengera nthawi yaitali kuti tifike pamtima wa vutolo. Kuonjezera apo, kumapeto kwa gawo lalitali, onse kasitomala ndi wothandizira amatha kutopa kapena ngakhale kutopa. Nthawi zambiri, mawonekedwe a magawo a theka la ola ndi oyenera kwa ana: kuyang'ana ngakhale mphindi 45-50 ndizovuta kwambiri kwa ambiri aiwo.

Kutengera chidziwitso

Katswiri wamabanja Saniya Mayo akuyerekeza magawo azachipatala ndi maphunziro akusekondale. Pa nthawi ya phunzirolo, wophunzira amalandira zambiri zokhudza phunziro linalake. Chidziŵitsochi chikufunikabe “kugayidwa” ndi kuloweza mfundo zazikulu kuti athe kuchita homuweki.

"Mutha kutambasula gawoli kwa maola anayi - funso lokhalo ndiloti kasitomala angatenge ndikukumbukira izi," akufotokoza Mayo. “Nkovuta “kugaya” chidziŵitso chochuluka, kutanthauza kuti n’kovuta kupeza phindu lililonse kuchokerako. Choncho makasitomala akamanena kuti gawo limodzi pamlungu siliwakwanira, dokotalayo nthawi zambiri amalangiza kuti awonjezere kuchuluka kwa maphunzirowo, osati kutalika kwa gawo lililonse.

"Zikuwoneka kwa ine kuti zotsatira za magawo awiri afupikitsa zidzakhala zazikulu kuposa imodzi yayitali. Zili ngati zakudya zing’onozing’ono ziŵiri panthaŵi zosiyanasiyana m’malo mwa chakudya chokoma chimodzi,” anatero Gottlieb. - Chakudya chamasana chochuluka sichingagayidwe bwino: thupi limafunikira nthawi, kusweka pakati pa "chakudya".

Kugwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso chomwe mwapeza

Pochiza, ndikofunikira osati zomwe taphunzira pagawolo, ndi zidziwitso zomwe tidazisiya, komanso zomwe tidachita pakati pamisonkhano ndi wochiritsa, momwe tidagwiritsira ntchito chidziwitso ndi luso lomwe tapeza.

"Ndikofunikira, osati kutalika kwa magawo," Styumfig akutsimikiza. - Wothandizira sayenera kugwira ntchito pamisonkhano ndi wothandizira, komanso pakati pawo: kusinkhasinkha, kutsata khalidwe lake, kuyesa kugwiritsa ntchito luso latsopano la maganizo lomwe katswiriyo anamuphunzitsa. Zimatenga nthawi kuti zidziwitso zomwe zalandilidwa zigwirizane ndi kusintha kwabwino kuti ziyambike. ”

KODI PHUNZIRO LINGATALIRE?

Ngakhale gawo la mphindi 45-50 limatengedwa kuti ndiloyenera, katswiri aliyense wamaganizo ali ndi ufulu wodziwa nthawi ya misonkhano. Komanso, kugwira ntchito limodzi ndi mabanja ndi mabanja nthawi zambiri kumatenga ola limodzi ndi theka. “Aliyense ayenera kukhala ndi nthaŵi yolankhula ndi kusinkhasinkha zimene wamva,” akufotokoza motero Nicole Ward wosamalira mabanja. Msonkhano wapayekha ungatengenso nthawi yayitali, makamaka ngati kasitomala ali pachiwopsezo chachikulu.

Ochiritsa ena amalolanso nthawi yochulukirapo kuti msonkhano woyamba asonkhanitse zambiri momwe angathere, kuzindikira vutolo molondola, ndikuthandizira wodwalayo kupanga zomwe akufuna.

Mulimonsemo, ngati mukuwona kuti, ngakhale pali zifukwa zomwe zili pamwambazi, mukufunikira nthawi yochulukirapo, musazengereze kulankhula ndi katswiri za izo. Pamodzi mudzapeza njira yomwe ikugwirizana ndi zonsezi.