Zamkatimu
Ngakhale malingaliro a ukazi, akazi amaopabe kukhala okha, opanda banja ndi munthu wachikondi. Inde, ndipo amuna amawopa chinthu chomwecho, amangolankhula za izo kaŵirikaŵiri, akutero katswiri wa chikhalidwe cha anthu ndi wolemba Deborah Carr. Kodi mungatani ndi vuto losautsa la kusungulumwa ndi kusiya kuona ukwati monga njira yokhayo yotsimikizirika yopezera chimwemwe?
Titakwera ndege, atsikana aŵiri anapezeka kuti anali anzanga apaulendo, amene anandipanga kukhala munthu woululira zakukhosi kwawo mosadziŵa, akumakambirana momvekera bwino ndi molimbikitsa za moyo wanga. Kuchokera m’kukambitsirana kwawo, ndinaphunzira kuti onse aŵiri tsopano ali pachibwenzi ndi achichepere ndipo ali ndi chiyembekezo chachikulu cha unansi umenewu. Pamene ankauza nkhani zawo zakale, zinaonekeratu kuti anamva ululu wochuluka bwanji: “Ndinkaganiza kuti tinali limodzi, ndife okwatirana, ndiyeno mnzanga ananditumizira akaunti yake pamalo ochezera a pachibwenzi, kumene iye anali m’banja lake. mawu ake enieni, “Ndinali kufunafuna chikondi”, “Pamene ndinapeza kuti iye anali wokwatira, sindinakhulupirire poyamba,” “Sindikumvetsabe chifukwa chimene munthuyo anasiya kundiimbira ine pambuyo pa zibwenzi zitatu zabwino kwambiri.”
Zingawoneke kuti palibe chatsopano - mibadwo ya amuna ndi akazi amavutika ndi chikondi chosayembekezereka, malingaliro osamvetsetseka ndi kusungulumwa, chifukwa chakuti amasiyidwa mwamwano kwambiri, popanda kulemekeza kufotokozera ndi mawu otsanzikana. Monga ndimamvetsetsa, amayi onsewa anali ndi mabwenzi apamtima, achibale okonda komanso ntchito zabwino. Komabe, zinali zoonekeratu - m'malingaliro awo, moyo wathunthu weniweni umadziwika ndi maubwenzi okondana komanso ukwati wopitilira. Chochitikacho si chatsopano.
Ndi msinkhu, ndife okonzeka kuyang'ana wina ndi mzake mosamala kwambiri, mozama, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mwayi wokumana ndi "wathu" umawonjezeka.
Mndandanda wachipembedzo "Kugonana ndi Mzinda" umasonyeza bwino kuzunzika kwamaganizo ndi kusapeza kwa amayi omwe, zikuwoneka, ali ndi chirichonse ... kupatula maubwenzi opambana. Ndipo izi sizikugwiranso ntchito kwa akazi okha - chikhumbo chofuna kupeza womvetsetsa, wothandizira komanso wachikondi wapamtima wapamtima amakhalanso ndi udindo wotsogolera mndandanda wa zilakolako zamkati za mwamuna. Kungoti amuna samalankhula mosabisa. Ndinafuna kupereka chitonthozo kwa akazi achichepere ameneŵa amene malingaliro awo a chimwemwe ndi chikhutiro anali ogwirizana kwambiri ndi funso lakuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani iye sandikonda? ndi "Ndidzakwatiwa?". Ndikuganiza kuti ndingathe kulimbikitsa anzanga apaulendo mwa kuwapatsa lingaliro losiyana pang'ono pa vuto lomwe likuwadetsa nkhawa.
Mwayi woti mukumane ndi mnzanu ndi waukulu
Nthawi zambiri timachita mantha ndi kuchuluka kwa anthu osakwatiwa. Komabe, sitiganizira kuti okhawo amene ali pabanja lovomerezeka amagwera pansi pa ziwerengero za kusiyana. Ndipo mawonekedwe ake sayenera kusokeretsa. Mwachitsanzo, chiŵerengero cha okwatirana azaka zapakati pa 25 ndi 34 chatsika, koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza mpang’ono pomwe kuti anthu akhalebe mbeta. Kungoti chiwerengero chachikulu chimamaliza mgwirizano wovomerezeka pambuyo pa zaka 40 kapena 50, ndipo ambiri samalembetsa ubale wawo ndipo ziwerengero zimawaona osungulumwa, ngakhale kuti anthuwa ali ndi mabanja osangalala.
Zoyembekeza zathu zikusintha ndipo ndizabwino.
Zoyembekeza zathu kwa wokondedwa komanso njira yomwe amasankha ikusintha. Mmodzi wa anzanga apaulendo analankhula mokondwera za mmodzi wa osirira ake. Momwe adamufotokozera, zabwino zake zazikulu zidawonekera - masewera othamanga ndi maso abuluu. Palibe kukayika kuti okwera amuna achichepere, ngati atalankhula pamutu womwewo, angazindikirenso, choyamba, zabwino zakunja za omwe angakhale ogwirizana nawo. Izi zili choncho chifukwa cha miyezo yoikidwa pa ife, kuphatikizapo yokhudzana ndi maonekedwe. Ndi zaka, timakhala odziimira komanso okonzeka kuyang'ana wina ndi mzake mosamala, mozama. Ndiye maonekedwe a mnzanuyo amazimiririka kumbuyo. Kukhala wanthabwala, kukoma mtima, ndi luso lomvera ena chisoni zimadza patsogolo. Choncho, mwayi wokumana ndi munthu weniweni "wake" ukuwonjezeka.
Anthu ambiri amene ali pabanja amavomereza kuti ngati akanasankha panopa, sangasankhe m’malo mokomera munthu wokwatirana naye.
Chikondi si mpikisano wa zabwino kwambiri
Nthaŵi zina, mwa zolinga zabwino, mabwenzi athu amati: “N’zopanda chilungamo chotani nanga kuti iwe, mtsikana wokongola ndi wanzeru chotere, udakali wekha.” Ndipo zimayamba kuoneka kuti tiyenera kukhala ndi makhalidwe apadera kuti tikope chikondi. Ndipo popeza tili tokha, ndiye kuti tikuchita zinazake kapena kuoneka molakwika. Kupeza bwenzi si nkhani yosankha galimoto kapena ntchito, ngakhale malo ochezera a pa Intaneti amasonyeza mayanjano awa. Ndi iko komwe, tikufuna munthu, osati mndandanda wa mikhalidwe. Funsani maanja omwe akhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali zomwe amakonda kwambiri kwa okondedwa awo, ndipo sangakuuzeni za malipiro okwera kapena chiwerengero chabwino, koma adzakumbukira zomwe amakonda, zokumana nazo komanso zogawana nawo chisangalalo ndi zisoni, kukhulupirira. Ndipo ambiri sangakhudze makhalidwe enieni ndipo adzati: "Uyu ndi munthu wanga."
Ukwati si njira yothetsera mavuto
Ukwati ukhoza kutithandiza m’maganizo, m’maganizo, ndiponso m’makhalidwe athu. Komabe, izi ndizotheka kokha, ndipo sizikutanthauza kuti tidzasangalala ndi mbali zabwinozi. Ndi maubwenzi apamtima okha, ozama komanso odalirika omwe timawona munthu wodziimira payekha mwa bwenzi amatipangitsa kukhala osangalala. Anthu amene ali m’maukwati oterowo amakhala athanzi ndipo amakhala ndi moyo wautali. Koma ngati sizikuwonjezera, zonse zimachitika mosiyana. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti anthu ambiri amene akhala m’banja kwa zaka zoposa XNUMX amavomereza kuti ngati akanasankha panopa, sangasankhe m’malo mokomera wokwatirana naye ndipo sangayambe naye banja. Chifukwa samamva kugwirizana kwamalingaliro. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, mnzanu kapena wachibale amene mungam’fotokozere zakukhosi kwanu angakhale munthu wapamtima kwambiri kuposa mnzanu.