Mutha kuyesana wina ndi mnzake kwa zaka zambiri kuti mukhale ndi mphamvu, kapena mutha kumvetsetsa kuyambira mphindi yoyamba kuti ndinu "mwazi womwewo". Zimachitikadi - ena amatha kuzindikira mnzawo mwamnzako watsopano pongomuwona koyamba.
Anthu ambiri amakhulupirira chikondi pongoonana koyamba. Kafukufuku watsimikizira kuti nthawi zina masekondi 12 ndi okwanira kugwa m'chikondi. Panthawi imeneyi, timakhala ndi malingaliro apadera omwe amapereka chidaliro chakuti takumana ndi munthu yemwe tinali kumusowa. Ndipo ndikumverera uku komwe kumachitika mwa onse awiri omwe amawamanga.
Nanga bwanji ubwenzi? Kodi pali ubwenzi poyang'ana koyamba? Kodi n'zotheka kulankhula za kumverera kwapamwamba komwe kumagwirizanitsa anthu, monga abwenzi atatu a Remarque? Kodi pali ubwenzi wabwino umenewo umene umabadwa kuchokera mphindi zoyambirira za kudziŵana kwathu, pamene tinayang’anana m’maso koyamba?
Tikamafunsa anzathu zimene amayembekezera kuchokera kwa anzathu, tidzamva mayankho ofananawo. Timakhulupirira mabwenzi, timakhala ndi nthabwala zofanana ndi iwo, ndipo ndizosangalatsa kuti tizikhala limodzi. Ena amatha msanga kuzindikira munthu amene angakhale mnzake wapamtima mwa munthu amene angoyamba kumene kulankhula naye. Amamva ngakhale mawu oyamba asanalankhulidwe. Nthawi zina mumangoyang’ana munthu n’kuzindikira kuti akhoza kukhala bwenzi lapamtima.
Ubongo umatha kudziwa mwamsanga zomwe ziri zoopsa kwa ife komanso zomwe ziri zokongola.
Dzina lililonse lomwe tingapereke ku chochitika ichi - tsoka kapena kukopana - chilichonse chimachitika nthawi yomweyo, nthawi yochepa imafunika. Kafukufuku amakumbutsa: masekondi angapo ndi okwanira kuti munthu apange lingaliro la wina ndi 80%. Panthawi imeneyi, ubongo umatha kupanga chithunzi choyamba.
Malo apadera ndi omwe amachititsa izi mu ubongo - kumbuyo kwa kotekisi. Zimayatsidwa tikaganizira zabwino ndi zoyipa tisanapange chisankho. Mwachidule, ubongo umatha kudziwa mwamsanga zomwe ziri zoopsa kwa ife komanso zomwe ziri zokongola. Choncho, mkango woyandikira ndi woopsa kwambiri, ndipo lalanje lamadzimadzi lili patebulo kuti tidye.
Pafupifupi njira yomweyo imapezeka mu ubongo wathu tikakumana ndi munthu watsopano. Nthawi zina zizolowezi za munthu, kavalidwe ndi kakhalidwe kake zimasokoneza malingaliro ake oyamba. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, sitikayikira ngakhale ziweruzo za munthu zomwe zimapangidwira pa msonkhano woyamba - zonsezi zimachitika mosadziwa.
Malingaliro okhudza interlocutor amapangidwa makamaka pamaziko a mawonekedwe ake akuthupi - mawonekedwe a nkhope, manja, mawu. Nthawi zambiri chibadwa sichilephereka ndipo mawonekedwe oyamba amakhala olondola. Koma zimachitika mosemphanitsa, ngakhale maganizo oipa pamene kukumana, anthu ndiye kukhala mabwenzi kwa zaka zambiri.
Inde, ndife odzala ndi tsankho, ndimomwe ubongo umagwirira ntchito. Koma timatha kukonzanso maganizo athu malinga ndi khalidwe la munthu wina.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo Michael Sannafrank wochokera ku yunivesite ya Minnesota (USA) anaphunzira khalidwe la ophunzira akamakumana. Malinga ndi mmene anaonekera poyamba, maganizo a ophunzirawo anakula m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Koma chinthu chochititsa chidwi kwambiri: ena amafunikira nthawi kuti amvetsetse ngati kunali koyenera kupitiriza kulankhulana ndi munthu, ena adasankha nthawi yomweyo. Tonse ndife osiyana.