Mwamuna wa bwenzi lake akubera, mwana wake wamwamuna akusuta fodya wachinyengo, iyenso wachira posachedwapa… ” Koma kodi mfundo imeneyi ndi yabwino nthawi zonse? Ndipo kodi timachita mwaulemu, kuwadziwitsa abwenzi ake?
“Tsiku lina tili kuphwando, chibwenzi cha mnzanga wapamtima chinayamba kundimenya. Ndinamuuza za izo tsiku lotsatira - pambuyo pake, sitiyenera kukhala ndi zinsinsi kwa wina ndi mzake, makamaka pazinthu zofunika kwambiri. Nkhaniyi inamudabwitsa kwambiri. Anandithokoza chifukwa chotsegula maso ake ... Usiku, ndinayamba kumuyesa ndipo ndinakhala mdani wamkulu, "anatero Marina, wazaka 28.
Izi zimachititsa kuti munthu adzifunse kuti: Kodi n'koyenera kuuza anzathu zonse zomwe timadziwa? Kodi amafuna kuti “titsegule maso awo”? Kodi tidzawononga ubale wathu ndi iwo? Ndipo nchiyani chomwe chingabisike kwenikweni kumbuyo kwa olemekezeka apaubwenzi?
Tikuwonetsa "omasula"
“Mawu athu aliwonse, ngakhale amene timalankhula moona mtima, cholinga chake chachikulu ndicho kuthetsa mavuto athu,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Catherine Emle-Perissol. - Kuuza mnzako za kusakhulupirika kwa bwenzi lake, ife tikhoza kupitiriza mfundo yakuti m'malo mwake tikanakonda kudziwa za izi. Kuphatikiza apo, zimakhala ngati timadzipatsa tokha mphamvu, timawoneka ngati "wowombola". Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, amene angayerekeze kunena zoona amakhala ndi udindo.”
Musanauze mnzanu choonadi chimene sichimusangalatsa, dzifunseni ngati ali wokonzeka kuchilandira. Ubwenzi uyenera kulemekeza ufulu wa aliyense. Ndipo ufulu ukhoza kukhalanso pakusafuna kudziwa za kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanu, mabodza a ana, kapena kulemera kwawo kwakukulu.
Timakakamiza chowonadi
Ngakhale makhalidwe a chikondi, monga momwe wafilosofi wa ku Russia Semyon Frank adanena, akubwereza mawu a wolemba ndakatulo wa ku Germany Rilke, amachokera pa "kuteteza kusungulumwa kwa wokondedwa." Izi ndi zoona makamaka pa ubwenzi.
Kwiinda mukubikkila maano kuzintu nzyotuyanda, tulakonzya kumukkomanisya kapati.
Ntchito yathu yayikulu kwa mnzathu ndikumuteteza, osati kuthana ndi zenizeni zomwe amazinyalanyaza mwadala. Mungamuthandize kupeza coonadi yekha mwa kumufunsa mafunso ndi kukhala wofunitsitsa kumvetsela.
Kufunsa bwenzi ngati mwamuna wake wachedwa kuntchito posachedwapa ndi kunena mwachindunji kuti akuberedwa ndi zinthu ziwiri zosiyana.
Kuonjezera apo, ife eni tikhoza kupanga mtunda wina paubwenzi ndi bwenzi kuti timutsogolere ku funso la zomwe zinachitika. Chotero sitimangodzichotsera tokha mtolo waudindo wa chidziŵitso chimene iye sachidziŵa, komanso kumuthandiza kuti afikire pansi pa chowonadi iye mwini, ngati afuna.
Timalankhula zoona mwa ife tokha
Muubwenzi, timafunafuna chidaliro ndi kusinthanitsa maganizo, ndipo nthawi zina timagwiritsa ntchito bwenzi ngati psychoanalyst, zomwe sizingakhale zosavuta kapena zokondweretsa kwa iye.
Catherine Emle-Perissol anati: “Mwa kutaya zambiri zokhudza ife eni, timam’pangitsa kukhala wolanda maganizo athu,” akufotokoza motero Catherine Emle-Perissol, akulangiza aliyense kudzifunsa funso lakuti: Kodi timayembekezera chiyani kwenikweni kuchokera kwa mabwenzi?
Za Katswiri: Catherine Emle-Perissol ndi psychotherapist.