Kodi mumaona bwanji ngati chibwenzi chili choyenera kupitiriza?

Nthawi zambiri ndimakumana ndi anthu omwe sadziwa ngati apitilize ubale wawo ndi mnzawo. Posachedwapa, bwenzi lina linati: “Pokhapokha pamene wokondedwa wanga ndi ine tiri pamodzi, ndimamva kugwirizana kwathu. Ngati palibe, sindikudziwa ngati akufunikira ubale wathu komanso momwe amawonongera nthawi yake. Ndimayesetsa kukambirana naye za nkhaniyi, koma zimangomukwiyitsa. Akuganiza kuti ndikukokomeza ndipo ndiyenera kudzidalira kwambiri. "

Wodwala wina anaulula kuti: “Takhala m’banja zaka zitatu ndipo ndimakonda mkazi wanga. Koma samandilola kukhala ndekha: kuchita zomwe ndimakonda komanso kukhala ndekha ndi anzanga. Nthawi zonse ndimayenera kuganizira mmene mkazi wanga angachitire ndi zimenezi, kaya zingamukhumudwitse. Kukhala wopanikiza komanso kusakhulupirirana kumeneku kumanditopetsa.” Kwa aliyense amene akukumana ndi kukayikira komwe kumasokoneza ubale wachimwemwe, ndikupempha kuyankha mafunso asanu ndi limodzi.

1. Kodi ndi kangati pamene mumakhumudwa?

Timayesetsa kunyalanyaza nkhawa ndi kukayikira chifukwa zimativuta kuvomereza kuti maubwenzi satipangitsa kukhala osangalala. M’malo modziimba mlandu, kupondereza malingaliro anu, ndi kuyesa kuyang’ana mkhalidwewo moyenerera, limbanani ndi zimene zikuchitika mowona mtima ndi mwanzeru.

Gawo loyamba komanso lofunika kwambiri ndikulankhula ndi mnzanu. Yang'anani momwe angayankhire: momwe angakhalire tcheru ndi malingaliro anu, ngati angafune kusintha china chake muubwenzi kuti mukhale omasuka, kapena ngati ayamba kukunyozani. Ichi chidzakhala chizindikiro ngati mgwirizano wanu uli ndi tsogolo.

2. Kodi wokondedwa wanu amasunga mawu awo?

Maziko a ubale wabwino ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti mukhoza kudalira munthu amene ali pafupi nanu. Ngati mnzanu walonjeza kuti adzakuimbirani foni, khalani nanu madzulo kapena kupita kwinakwake kumapeto kwa sabata ndipo nthawi zambiri sasunga mawu ake, iyi ndi nthawi yoganizira: kodi amakuyamikirani? Akalephera ngakhale pa zinthu zing’onozing’ono, zimawononga kukhulupirirana, zimakulepheretsani kukhala ndi chidaliro chakuti wokondedwa wanu adzakuthandizani pamavuto.

3. Kodi chidziwitso chanu chimakuuzani chiyani?

Kugwa m'chikondi, timafuna mwachidwi kupitirizabe kukhala ndi malingaliro oledzeretsa kotero kuti timanyalanyaza chidziwitso chathu, chomwe chimatiuza kuti: uyu si munthu wathu. Nthawi zina anthu amapondereza maganizo amenewa kwa zaka zambiri ndipo amakwatiranso, koma pamapeto pake ubwenziwo umatha.

Titasiyana, timamvetsetsa kuti mu kuya kwa miyoyo yathu tidawoneratu izi kuyambira pachiyambi. Njira yokhayo yopewera kukhumudwitsidwa ndiyo kukhala woona mtima. Ngati chinachake chikukuvutani, kambiranani ndi mnzanuyo. Nthaŵi zambiri, liwu lamkati silinyenga.

4. Kodi mumachita manyazi ndi wokondedwa wanu?

Ngati wokondedwa amakupangitsani kukhala osamasuka, kumayambitsa mikangano pamaso pa anzanu ndi achibale, kukhudza dala pamitu yomwe imakhala yowawa kwa omwe alipo, ikuwonetsa kusabereka bwino, mudzakhala ndi vuto ili. Kodi mwakonzeka kupewa misonkhano yolumikizana ndikuwona gulu lanu lapamtima mwachinsinsi?

5. Kodi zomwe zinachitikira maubwenzi ena zimakuuzani chiyani?

Nthawi zambiri timamva kuti maubwenzi amagwira ntchito. Izi ndi zoona makamaka - tiyenera kumvetsera mwachidwi ndikusamalira wokondedwa wathu. Komabe, njirayi ndi yofunika ngati ili ndi njira ziwiri.

Palibe ubale umene umayamba ndi kumverera kwachisokonezo ndi nkhawa, ndiyeno mwadzidzidzi, ndi matsenga, maluwa ndi kubweretsa chisangalalo. Kukonzekera kumvetsetsana ndi maziko a maukwati okondwa, ndipo kumawonekera (kapena kusadziwonetsera) nthawi yomweyo. Mwinamwake, mungavomereze izi ngati mukumbukira maubwenzi anu akale.

6. Kodi ndinu okonzeka kukambirana momasuka ngodya zakuthwa ndi okondedwa wanu?

Kodi mumalephera kuyankhula momasuka zomwe zikukuvutitsani chifukwa mukuwopa kuti mnzanuyo angakuchitireni zoipa? Ndiye mumadziwononga nokha ku kusungulumwa, komwe kungathe kukhala kwa zaka zambiri. Mwinamwake kusatetezeka kwanu kumangowonjezera maubwenzi ndi mnzanu, komanso kumadera ena a moyo ndi zosowa zanu nokha, zomwe mungathe kuchita nokha. Koma ngakhale zili choncho, muyenera kulankhula momasuka, popanda kuopa zotsatirapo zake, kambiranani ndi wokondedwa wanu zomwe zili zofunika kwa inu.

Ngati malingaliro anu sakugwirizana ndi kumvetsetsa ndipo mutatha kukambirana wokondedwa akupitiriza kupwetekedwa, iyi ndi nthawi yoganizira ngati ubalewu ndi wofunikira.