Momwe mungakhalire opanda ana: Mfundo 17 za omwe safuna kukhala ndi ana

Zaka za zana la XNUMX zakhala nthawi yomenyera ufulu wa omwe mwachikhalidwe amachititsidwa manyazi, kunyozedwa, kufunafuna kudzipatula kapena kuwononga thupi. “Ndipo ndikufuna kunena mawu anga potetezera anthu amene asiya udindo wa makolo, akudzisankhira zolinga zina ndi njira zawo,” analemba motero katswiri wa zamaganizo Bella de Paulo.

Iye akunena za imodzi mwa ntchito zodziwika kwambiri za kusowa mwana, buku la wolemba mbiri Rachel Chrastil "Momwe angakhalire opanda mwana: mbiri ndi filosofi ya moyo wopanda ana", yomwe imafotokoza zambiri za kusowa kwa mwana ndi maganizo ake pa anthu. Kodi chasintha n’chiyani, chasintha bwanji, ndipo n’chiyani chakhala chikhalirebe m’zaka 500 zapitazi?

Wopanda ana kapena wopanda mwana?

Choyamba, tiyenera kufotokoza mawu. Charsteel amaona kuti mawu akuti "nulliparous" ogwiritsidwa ntchito ndi madokotala ndi osavomerezeka, makamaka chifukwa sangatanthauze amuna omwe alibe ana. Mawu akuti "wopanda ana", ndiye kuti, "wopanda ana", m'malingaliro ake, ndi amtundu wankhanza kwambiri.

Amakonda kugwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti "wopanda mwana" poyerekezera ndi anthu omwe safuna kukhala ndi ana. Ngakhale kuti mawuwa akusonyeza kusowa, kusowa chinachake, ndipo iye samaona kusowa kwa ana vuto.

"Ndimatcha opanda ana omwe alibe ana, kapena achibadwa kapena oleredwa," akufotokoza motero Chrastil. "Ndi omwe sanatengepo gawo pakulera mwana ndipo sanatengepo udindo womulera."

Chrastil alibe mwana - osati chifukwa sangakhale mayi, koma chifukwa sanafune kutero. Amauza ena mfundo za momwe malingaliro okhudza anthu opanda ana komanso kusowa ana asinthira pazaka 500 zapitazi.

Kupanda ana - ndi anomaly kapena m'chizoloŵezi?

1. Kusowa ana si chinthu chachilendo.

Kupanda ana kwafala kwambiri m’mizinda ya kumpoto kwa Ulaya kuyambira cha m’ma 20. Kukula kwa mwana kunkawoneka ngati kosokoneza, komwe kudatenga zaka pafupifupi XNUMX, kenako kusabereka kunabweranso, "zoyipa" komanso zokambidwa kwambiri kuposa kale. Chochitika cha kusowa kwa ana chili padziko lonse lapansi: chiripo m'zikhalidwe zonse, ndipo nthawi zosiyanasiyana komanso m'malo osiyanasiyana chinachitidwa mosiyana.

2. Chiŵerengero chochuluka cha akazi opanda ana chinazindikiridwa pakati pa awo obadwa mu 1900

24% ya iwo sanakhalepo ndi ana. Pakati pa omwe anabadwa zaka 50 pambuyo pake, pakati pa 1950 ndi 1954, 17 peresenti yokha ya amayi a zaka 45 sanaberekepo.

3. Mu 1900, amayi anali ndi theka la ana omwe anali ndi theka la 1800.

Mwachitsanzo, mu 1800, pafupifupi ana asanu ndi awiri anaonekera m'banja limodzi, ndipo mu 1900 - kuchokera atatu mpaka anayi.

Psychology ya opanda ana ndi omwe amawatsutsa

4. Munthawi ya Reformation, chitsenderezo cha anthu chinali kukakamiza amayi kubereka

Chifukwa cha nkhanza zoterezi mu 1517-1648 chinali "mantha kuti akazi angasankhe kuthawa ntchito yawo yopatulika." Zikuoneka kuti kunja kwa banja komanso opanda ana, ankamva bwino kwambiri. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, amuna opanda ana sanali kuweruzidwa mofanana ndi akazi, ndipo sanalangidwe.

5. M'zaka za zana la XNUMX, mzimayi wotere amatha kuimbidwa mlandu waufiti ndikuwotchedwa pamtengo.

6. Lingaliro la mkazi wopanda mwana monga munthu woyenda, wodzikonda, wonyansa wakhalapo kwa zaka mazana ambiri.

Chrastil akunena za The Wealth of Nations ya Adam Smith, pamene analemba kuti: "Palibe mabungwe aboma a maphunziro a amayi ...

7. Pakati pa zaka za m'ma XNUMX ndi XNUMX, akazi anali ofunitsitsa kukwatiwa kuposa kukhala ndi ana.

Chrastil anatchula kabuku ka 1707, The 15 Pluses of a Single Life, ndi china chofalitsidwa mu 1739, Valuable Advice to Women on Avoiding Marriage, monga zitsanzo.

8. Chiwerengero chachikulu cha opanda mwana m'zaka za zana la makumi awiri nthawi zambiri chimagwirizanitsidwa ndi kupangidwa kwa mapiritsi oletsa kubereka.

Kuonjezera apo, pali anthu ambiri osungulumwa. Koma Chrastil amakhulupirira kuti chinthu chinanso chofunikira kwambiri - "kulekerera kukulira kwa iwo omwe amasiya chikhalidwe cha banja ndikusankha njira yawoyawo." Kuphatikizapo anthu otere amakwatira, koma osakhala makolo.

9. Lingaliro la kusankha kwaumwini kale mu 1960 linayamba kugwirizana ndi malingaliro a demokalase ndi ufulu.

Kusungulumwa ndi kusowa ana zinali zochititsa manyazi, koma tsopano zagwirizanitsidwa ndi ufulu wokulirapo wa kudzizindikira. Komabe, ngakhale kuti n’zomvetsa chisoni, anthu amadzudzulabe amene alibe ana, makamaka ngati anasiya udindo wa makolo mwakufuna kwawo. Komabe m’zaka za m’ma 1970, “anthu anatha kusintha maganizo awo pa nkhani ya kusakhala ndi ana m’njira imene inali isanachitikepo.”

Kutsutsa mwambo wa umayi

10. Thomas Robert Malthus, mlembi wa An Essay on the Law of Population, anaphatikiza ndime mu 1803 yotamanda akazi osakwatiwa ndi opanda ana.

"Mu ntchito yake, ubwino wa anthu, osati matron, unayikidwa pamalo oyamba." Koma kenako anakwatira ndipo mu 1826 anachotsa ndimeyi m’kope lomaliza.

11 Sikuti atsogoleri onse a ndale ankalimbikitsa amayi kubereka

Mwachitsanzo, mu 1972, Purezidenti wa US Richard Nixon adapanga komiti yoletsa kubereka ndikudzudzula mabanja akulu akulu aku America, komanso adapempha nzika kuti zigwirizane ndi nkhani ya "ana".

12. Kukhala mayi monga njira yabwino yachikondi kunathetsedwa mu 1980

Jean Veevers, yemwe adafalitsa Childless by Choice. Pofunsidwa, adanena kuti amayi ambiri omwe ali opanda umuna sawona kukhala amayi monga "chipambano chachikulu kapena ntchito yolenga ... .”

13. Mu 2017, Orna Donat adaponya nkhuni pamoto, ndikufalitsa nkhani yakuti "Regrets of mothers"

Inasonkhanitsa zofunsa za amayi omwe adanong'oneza bondo kuti adakhala amayi.

wopanda mwana ndi wokondwa

14. Masiku ano, ukwati sikutanthauza kukhala ndi ana, ndiponso kuti ana sikutanthauza kuti ndinu wokwatira kapena wokwatiwa.

Anthu ambiri osakwatiwa ali ndi ana, ndipo mabanja ambiri amakhala opanda ana. Komabe, ngakhale m’zaka XNUMX zapitazi anthu ankakhulupirira kuti anthu okwatirana ayenera kukhala ndi mwana, ndipo mkazi wosakwatiwa ayenera kukhala wopanda mwana. "Kumapeto kwa zaka za m'ma XNUMX ndi kumayambiriro kwa zaka za zana la XNUMX, omwe adasankha kukhala opanda ana nawonso adakana kukwatiwa."

15 Ana okalamba opanda ana amakonda kukhala okha kapena m’nyumba zosungira okalamba

Koma anthu amene ali ndi ana kaŵirikaŵiri amasiyidwa okha kapena kukhala m’manja mwa boma. Chifukwa chake n’chakuti ana safuna kusamalira makolo awo, kusamukira kumizinda ndi mayiko ena, kutsegula bizinesi, kutenga ngongole, kukangana ndi kusudzulana, kumwa mowa ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Ali ndi moyo wawowawo, mavuto awoawo, ndipo sasamala za makolo awo.

16. Monga zaka 150 zapitazo, akazi opanda ana ali odziimira okha masiku ano.

Ndi ophunzira, sakonda zachipembedzo, okonda kwambiri ntchito, osavuta pa maudindo a amuna kapena akazi, ndipo amakonda kukhala mumzinda.

17. Masiku ano apeza ndalama zambiri kuposa Amayi awo, ngolemera, odzidalira, ndi odzipezera okha.

Moyo ukusintha, ndipo, mwamwayi, tsopano malingaliro a akazi opanda ana ndi amuna ndi osiyana ndi zomwe zinali zaka 500 zapitazo. Sawotchedwanso pamtengo kapena kukakamizidwa kukhala ndi ana. Ndipo komabe, ambiri amalingalirabe kuti mkazi wopanda mwana alidi wosasangalala ndipo afunikira kuthandizidwa kuzindikira mmene akutaya. Pewani mafunso opanda nzeru komanso malangizo othandiza. Mwina alibe mwana chifukwa ndi kusankha kwake mozindikira.

Za wolemba: Bella de Paulo ndi katswiri wazamisala komanso wolemba Behind the Door of Deception.