Momwe mungasamalire kudzisamalira ngati mumagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu yonse ndi mphamvu zanu pa ena

Kodi zosowa zanu zimabwera nthawi zonse? Kodi mumagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanu zonse ndi nthawi yanu kusamalira ndi kuthandiza ena, koma mulibe chotsalira? Ngati ndi choncho, simuli nokha. Anthu ambiri amene ali mumkhalidwe umenewu ali pafupi kutopa. Kukhala bwanji?

Mwina ndinu okondwa kale chifukwa mukuthandiza ena - ana, mwamuna kapena mkazi, mabwenzi, makolo, kapena galu wanu wokondedwa. Koma nthawi yomweyo, mwina zimachitika nthawi ndi nthawi kuti mumve kuti ndinu olemedwa komanso otopa, chifukwa mwina mulibe zofunikira pazosowa zanu.

"Zosowa: zakuthupi ndi zamalingaliro, zauzimu ndi zamagulu - aliyense ali nazo. Ndipo sitingathe kunyalanyaza iwo kwa nthawi yaitali, kudzipereka tokha kuthandiza ena, "akufotokoza psychotherapist Sharon Martin.

Kuonjezera apo, kusamala za ena ndi kudziwonongera nokha kungakhale chizindikiro cha kudalira. Mutha kuwona ngati izi ndi zoona kapena ayi kwa inu powerenga mawu omwe ali pansipa. Ndi uti mwa iwo amene mukugwirizana nawo?

  • Maubwenzi anu ndi ena sali oyenera: mumawathandiza kwambiri, koma mumapeza zochepa.
  • Mumaona kuti zosowa zanu sizili zofunika monga za ena.
  • Mumaona kuti muli ndi udindo wopezera chimwemwe ndi moyo wabwino wa ena.
  • Mumadzifunira nokha zinthu zomwe simungakwanitse ndipo mumadzikonda mukaika zosowa zanu patsogolo.
  • Kudzidalira kwanu kumadalira mmene mungasamalire ena. Kuthandiza ena kumakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wofunika, wofunika komanso wokondedwa.
  • Mumakwiya kapena kuipidwa pamene thandizo lanu silikuyamikiridwa kapena kukubwezerani.
  • Mumamva kuti muli ndi udindo wothandizira, kuthetsa mavuto, kusunga.
  • Nthawi zambiri mumapereka malangizo amene simunawapemphe, kuuza ena zoyenera kuchita, kuwafotokozera mmene angathetsere mavuto awo.
  • Simudzidalira nokha ndipo mumaopa kutsutsidwa, kotero mumayesetsa kukondweretsa ena muzonse.
  • Muli mwana, munaphunzira kuti malingaliro anu ndi zosowa zanu sizofunika.
  • Zikuwoneka kwa inu kuti mutha kukhala popanda zosowa zanu.
  • Mukutsimikiza kuti simuyenera kusamala.
  • Simudziwa kudzisamalira nokha. Palibe amene anakuwonetsani izi mwa chitsanzo, sanalankhule ndi inu za malingaliro, malire aumwini ndi zizolowezi zabwino.
  • Inu nokha simukudziwa zomwe mukufuna, zomwe mukumva komanso zomwe mukufuna kuchita.

Kusamalira kapena kudzikonda mu chilichonse?

Ndikofunikira kuphunzira kusiyanitsa chisamaliro chenicheni ndi kuchita zoipa ndi zofooka za anthu ena. Mwa kulekerera, timachitira wina zomwe akanatha kudzichitira yekha. Mwachitsanzo, ndi bwino kuyendetsa mwana wazaka 10 kupita kusukulu, koma sitiyenera kuyendetsa mwana wamwamuna kapena wamkazi wazaka 21 kupita ku yunivesite kapena kuntchito.

Inde, nkhani iliyonse iyenera kuchitidwa payekha. Tiyerekeze kuti mwana wanu wamkazi akuwopa kwambiri kuyendetsa galimoto, koma akuyesera kuthetsa mantha ake ndikupita kwa psychotherapist. Pamenepa, kumukweza ndikwabwino ndithu. Koma bwanji ngati akuwopa kuyendetsa galimoto, koma sachita chilichonse kuti athetse mantha awa? Ndiyeno, mwa kum’kweza kuti apite ku ntchito, timam’patsa zofooka zake, tikumamupangitsa kuti azidalira ifeyo ndi kum’patsa mpata wosiya kuthetsa mavuto ake.

Awo amene amachita zofooka za anthu ena kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala awo amene kaŵirikaŵiri amakonda kuchitira ena zambiri chifukwa cha liwongo, ntchito kapena mantha.

“Kusamalira ana ang’onoang’ono kapena makolo okalamba n’kwachibadwa chifukwa n’kovuta kuti azichita okha. Koma ndi bwino kudzifunsa nthawi ndi nthawi ngati mwana wanu sangathe kuchita zambiri, chifukwa nthawi zonse kukula ndi chitukuko, kupeza zinachitikira moyo ndi luso latsopano, "amalangiza Sharon Martin.

Awo amene amakhutiritsa zofooka za anthu ena kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala awo amene kaŵirikaŵiri amakonda kuchitira ena zambiri chifukwa cha liwongo, thayo, kapena mantha. Ndikwabwino kuphika chakudya chamkwatibwi (ngakhale kuti angachite bwino paokha) ngati ubale wanu wakhazikika pakuthandizirana ndi kuthandizana. Koma ngati mungopereka, ndipo mnzanuyo amangotenga ndipo samakuyamikirani, ichi ndi chizindikiro cha vuto mu chiyanjano.

Simungathe Kusiya Kudzisamalira

“Kudzisamalira kuli ngati kukhala ndi akaunti yakubanki. Ngati mutachotsa ndalama zambiri kuposa momwe mumayika mu akaunti, mudzayenera kulipira ndalama zambiri, wolembayo akufotokoza. Zomwezo zimachitikanso mu maubwenzi. Ngati mumagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanu nthawi zonse, koma osabwezeretsanso, posachedwa mudzayenera kulipira ngongole. Tikasiya kudzisamalira, timayamba kudwala, kutopa, zokolola zathu zimasokonekera, timakhala okwiya komanso okhudza mtima. ”

Dzisamalireni kuti muthe kuthandiza ena popanda kutaya chimwemwe ndi thanzi lanu.

Kodi mumadzisamalira bwanji nokha ndi munthu wina panthawi imodzi?

Dzipatseni chilolezo. Ndikofunika kukumbukira nthawi zonse kufunika kodzisamalira. Mutha kudzilembera nokha chilolezo cholembedwa. Mwachitsanzo:

(Dzina lanu) ali ndi ufulu ______________ lero (mwachitsanzo: kupita ku masewera olimbitsa thupi).

(Dzina lanu) ali ndi ufulu wosakhala _______________ (mwachitsanzo: kudzuka mochedwa kuntchito) chifukwa akufuna _______________ (kupumula ndikuviika m'bafa).

Zilolezo zoterezi zingaoneke ngati zopanda pake, koma zimathandiza anthu ena kuzindikira kuti ali ndi ufulu wodzisamalira.

Pezani nthawi yanu. Muzipatula nthawi m’ndandanda yanu imene muzingodzipezera nokha.

Khazikitsani malire. Nthawi yanu yaumwini iyenera kutetezedwa. Khalani ndi malire. Ngati mulibe kale mphamvu, musatenge maudindo atsopano. Ngati mwafunsidwa kuti akuthandizeni, dzilembeni nokha kalata ndi chilolezo chokana.

Perekani ntchito kwa ena. Mungafunikire kugaŵira ena mwa maudindo anu amakono kwa ena kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yodzipezera nokha. Mwachitsanzo, mungapemphe mchimwene wanu kuti asamalire bambo anu omwe akudwala kuti mupite kwa dokotala wa mano, kapena mungapemphe mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti aziphika chakudya chanu chamadzulo chifukwa mukufuna kupita ku masewera olimbitsa thupi.

Zindikirani kuti simungathandize aliyense. Kuyesetsa nthawi zonse kuthetsa mavuto a anthu ena kapena kukhala ndi udindo wosamalira ena kungakubweretsereni kutopa kwamanjenje. Mukaona munthu ali mumkhalidwe wovuta, nthawi yomweyo mumafunitsitsa kumuthandiza. Choyamba muyenera kutsimikizira kuti thandizo lanu likufunikadi ndipo ali wokonzeka kuvomereza. Ndikofunikiranso kusiyanitsa pakati pa chithandizo chenicheni ndi kulekerera (ndipo timakondweretsa ena makamaka kuti tichepetse nkhawa zathu).

Kumbukirani kuti ndi bwino kudzisamalira pafupipafupi kuposa kale. Ndikosavuta kugwera mumsampha wa zonse kapena wopanda chilichonse woganiza kuti ngati simungathe kuchita chilichonse mwangwiro, sikuli koyenera kuyesa. M'malo mwake, tonse timamvetsetsa kuti ngakhale mphindi zisanu zosinkhasinkha ndizabwino kuposa chilichonse. Chifukwa chake, musapeputse phindu la kudzisamalira pang'ono (idyani chinthu chathanzi, yendani kuzungulira chipikacho, imbani bwenzi lanu lapamtima). Zimenezi n’zofunika kuzikumbukira pamene mukuyesetsa kupeza malire pakati pa kudzisamalira nokha ndi kusamalira ena.

“Kuthandiza ena n’kofunika kwambiri ndipo kumapangitsa moyo wathu kukhala watanthauzo. Palibe amene amayimba kuti asakhale ndi chidwi ndi chisoni cha ena ndi mavuto a anthu ena. Ndikungosonyeza kuti mudzipatse chikondi ndi chisamaliro chochuluka monga momwe mumaperekera kwa ena. Kumbukirani kudzisamalira ndipo mutha kukhala ndi moyo wautali, wathanzi komanso wachimwemwe! zimandikumbutsa za psychotherapist.


Za wolemba: Sharon Martin ndi psychotherapist.

Siyani Mumakonda