Momwe Mungapulumukire Kuzunzidwa M'malingaliro ndi Kukondananso

Popeza adziwa bwino mtundu wina wa maubwenzi, ambiri amachipanga mobwerezabwereza. Ndi chiyani chomwe chiyenera kuganiziridwa kuti musapondereze pamtanda womwewo? Upangiri waukatswiri kwa omwe adazunzidwapo ndi anzawo.

Kumvetsetsa zolakwa

Zomwe zinachitikira paubwenzi wapoizoni zingakhale zopweteka kwambiri kotero kuti mwina munadzifunsapo kangapo: chifukwa chiyani mukufunikira, n'chifukwa chiyani mudakhala ndi mnzanu amene anakupwetekani kwa nthawi yaitali? Katswiri wa zamaganizo Marcia Sirota anati: “Kudziganizira motere n’kothandiza komanso n’kofunika. "Mvetserani (panu nokha kapena mothandizidwa ndi dokotala) zomwe zidakulimbikitsani kwambiri paubwenzi umenewo."

Pozindikira zomwe zidakukopani kwa munthu ameneyo, mudzakhala ndi chidaliro komanso kumvetsetsa kuti mutha kusintha machitidwe anthawi zonse a maubale. Ndiye simudzakhala omvera kwambiri kwa munthu wamtundu womwewo, ndipo nthawi yomweyo mudzataya kukopa kwa owongolera.

"Chinthu chachikulu popenda moyo wakale, musamadzidzudzule kwambiri ndipo musadziimbe mlandu chifukwa chokhala ndi mnzanu kwa nthawi yayitali," akuwonjezera Marcia Sirota. “Yang’anani mwanzeru zochita zanu ndi zosankha zanu, koma ndi chifundo chachikulu, ndipo lekani kudzinyoza ndi kuchita manyazi.”

Tangoganizirani za ubale wamtsogolo

“Nthaŵi ina pambuyo pa kusudzulana, tenga pepala ndi kulemba mmene mukuonera unansi wanu wotsatira: zimene mukuyembekezera kwa iwo ndi zimene simunakonzekere kuvomereza mwa iwo,” akulangiza motero katswiri wabanja Abby Rodman. Lembani zinthu zomwe simungazilole. Ndipo pamene chikondi chatsopano chikayamba kukula kukhala china, chotsani mndandandawu ndikuwonetsa mnzanuyo. Anthu apamtima ayenera kulemekezana wina ndi mnzake malire awo. Izi ndizofunikira makamaka ngati m'modzi wa iwo adakumanapo ndi ziwawa m'mbuyomu.

Dzikumbutseni zosowa zanu

Munakhala zaka zambiri ndi munthu amene anakuchititsani manyazi ndikukupangitsani kuganiza kuti zosowa zanu sizikutanthauza kanthu. Choncho, musanaganizire za kuthekera kwa ubale watsopano, mverani nokha, yambitsaninso maloto anu ndi zokhumba zanu. “Sankhani zimene mumakonda ndi zimene mukufunadi m’moyo,” akulimbikitsa motero katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku America Margaret Paul.

Samalani ndi momwe mumadzichitira nokha. Mwina mudziweruze mwankhanza kwambiri? Mwinamwake munapatsa mnzanuyo ufulu wosankha kuti ndinu ofunika komanso zomwe mukuyenera? Anthu amene amatizungulira nthawi zambiri amatichitira zimene timachita. Choncho musadzikane kapena kudzipereka nokha. Mukangophunzira kudzisamalira nokha, mudzapeza kuti mumakopa anthu achikondi ndi odalirika.

Bwezerani maulaliki

Mwachidziwikire, mnzanu wakale amawongolera nthawi yanu yaulere ndipo samakulolani kuti mulankhule kwambiri ndi anzanu ndi achibale. Tsopano popeza muli panokhanso, khalani ndi nthawi yolumikizananso ndi anzanu akale. Mwanjira iyi mudzakhala ndi gulu lodalirika lothandizira mukadzalowa muubwenzi watsopano.

“Kuiŵala za mabwenzi ndi okondedwa anu, mumakhala wodalira kotheratu pa munthu mmodzi, zimene zimakupangitsa kukhala kovuta kusiyana naye pambuyo pake,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo Craig Malkin, mphunzitsi pa Harvard Medical School. - Kuonjezera apo, abwenzi nthawi zambiri amawona zomwe simungazindikire, chifukwa kugwa m'chikondi kumaphimba malingaliro. Pokambirana mmene mukumvera ndi mmene mukumvera ndi anthu amene amakudziwani bwino, mudzaona nkhaniyi bwinobwino.

Taonani kuopsa kwake

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Kristin Devin anati: “Musalole kudalira zinthu zoipa zimene zinakuchitikirani n’kumaganiza kuti simungathe kukhala paubwenzi wabwino ndi wosangalatsa. Mupeza chikondi, muyenera kungolumikizana ndi zosowa zanu. Samalani ndipo musaphonye zizindikiro zoopsa - nthawi zambiri zimadziwika kwa aliyense, koma ambiri amanyalanyaza.

“Kukambitsirana moona mtima pakati pa okwatirana ponena za m’mbuyo, ponena za zokumana nazo zoopsa, ndiko mfungulo yokulitsa chidaliro muunansi watsopano,” akukumbukira motero Abby Rodman. Gawani zomwe mudakumana nazo panthawiyo komanso momwe zidawonongerani ulemu wanu. Lolani mnzanu watsopanoyo aone kuti simunachire ndipo mukufunikira nthawi ya izi. Kuonjezera apo, mmene angachitire polankhula mosabisa mawu angakuuzeni zambiri za munthu ameneyu.

Mvetserani ku chidziwitso chanu

Craig Malkin anawonjezera kuti: “Mukamapirira kuchitiridwa nkhanza, mumayamba kunyalanyaza chibadwa chanu. - Mtundu umodzi wa nkhanza za m'maganizo - kuyatsa gasi - ndikukupangitsani kukayikira kukwanira kwanu pamene mukumva kuti chinachake sichikuyenda bwino. Mwachitsanzo, pamene munavomereza kwa mnzanu kuti mukukaikira kukhulupirika kwake, iye angakhale anatcha inu wosalinganizika m’maganizo.

Ngati chinachake chikukuvutitsani, musaganize kuti ndinu wongopeka, m'malo mwake yesani kuthana ndi nkhani yomwe ikukudetsani nkhawa. “Uzani mnzanuyo mmene mukumvera,” katswiriyo akulangiza motero. “Ngakhale mukulakwitsa, munthu amene amakulemekezani komanso amene amakumverani chisoni amatenga nthawi kuti akambirane nanu nkhawa zanu. Ngati akana, ndiye, mwachiwonekere, chibadwa chanu sichinakunyengeni.

“Lonjezani nokha kuti kuyambira pano muuza mnzanu zonse zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi inu,” akumaliza motero Abby Rodman. "Ngati akufuna kuti mupirire chovulala, sangayankhe, koma ayesetsa kukuthandizani."