Momwe mungakhulupirire kuti ndinu munthu wabwino

Kwa anthu ambiri, mwina chinthu chovuta kwambiri ndikukhulupirira kuti ndinu wofunika. Kuti "Ndine munthu wabwino." "Tikhoza kugonjetsa nsonga zapamwamba, kugwira ntchito mwakhama, kukhala ndi luso komanso kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino, koma kodi tingathedi, pansi pamtima, kumva kuti ndife abwino? Mwatsoka ayi!» akulemba katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Rick Hanson.

"Asilikali Oyipa"

Timamva zoipa m’njira zambiri. Mwachitsanzo, Rick Hanson akukumbukira kamtsikana kodziŵika bwino kamene kanaloŵa m’malo mwa kubadwa kwa mng’ono wake. Mayiyo atatopa ndi kusamalira mwanayo, anamuthamangitsa n’kumukalipila. Mtsikanayo adakwiyira mchimwene wake ndi makolo ake, wachisoni, adadzimva kukhala wotayika, wosiyidwa komanso wosakondedwa. Anayang'ana katuni momwe asilikali a mfumukazi yoipa anaukira anthu osalakwa, ndipo tsiku lina mwachisoni anati: "Amayi, ndikumva ngati msilikali woipa."

M’moyo wonse, manyazi, makhalidwe oipa, kudzudzula chipembedzo, ndi mawu ena odzudzula akhoza kuchitika m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Zimenezi zimachepetsa kudzidalira kwathu ndipo zimachititsa kuti tiziganiza kuti ndife oipa. Kusakhulupirira "ubwino" wathu kumalimbikitsidwa ndi mikhalidwe yomwe timadzimva kukhala opanda pake, osakwanira komanso osakopa. Bambo ake a Hanson omwe adabadwira ku famuyo adachitcha kuti "kumva ngati wonyowa."

Mafupa mu chipinda

Hanson analemba kuti anthu ambiri, kuphatikizapo iyeyo, achita zoipa, anali ndi maganizo oipa, kapena analankhula mawu oipa. Zitsanzo zingakhale zosiyana - kugunda munthu wosadziteteza, kuika moyo wa ana anu pangozi mwa kuyendetsa galimoto mosasamala, kutanthauza kuchitira munthu wosatetezeka, kuba m'sitolo, kunyenga mnzanu, kudzudzula kapena kukhazikitsa bwenzi.

Simuyenera kuchita cholakwa kuti mumve kukhala wolakwa kapena kuchita manyazi. Nthawi zina kulakwa kapena maganizo oipa n’kokwanira. Hanson akufotokoza kuti: “Mophiphiritsira, psyche ili ndi mbali zitatu. Wina amati: “Ndinu oipa”; wina: "Ndinu wabwino"; ndipo wachitatu, amene timadzizindikiritsa tokha, amamvetsera mkangano umenewu. Vuto ndilakuti mawu odzudzula, odzudzula, odzudzula amamveka mokweza kuposa mawu ochirikiza, olimbikitsa, ndi kuvomereza kufunikira kwake. ”

“N’zoona kuti kudzimvera chisoni n’kofunika kwambiri chifukwa chokhumudwitsa ena,” analemba motero Hanson. "Koma musaiwale kuti kwinakwake mu kuya kwambiri, kupyolera mu zotsutsana zonse za khalidwe ndi zochita, kukoma mtima kwakukulu kumawala mwa aliyense wa ife. Popanda kulungamitsa aliyense chifukwa cha chiwerewere, nditha kunena molimba mtima: pamizu yawo, zolinga zonse ndi zabwino, ngakhale sizikugwiritsidwa ntchito bwino. Pamene zokhuza ndi malingaliro athu sizikhala ndi ululu, kutayika, kapena mantha, ubongo umabwerera ku mkhalidwe wokhazikika, chidaliro, ndi chifundo. Njira zomwe zingatsogolere ku kukwaniritsidwa kwa ubwino wobisika mwa ife sizophweka, ndipo nthawi zina zimakhala zachinsinsi.

Aliyense wa ife ndi wabwino

Chowonadi ndi chakuti, Hanson amakhulupirira, aliyense wa ife ndi munthu wabwino. Ngati tidziona tokha «asilikali oyipa» kapena kungoti osayenera ulemu ndi chimwemwe, ndiye timachita mosasamala ndi odzikonda. Kumbali ina, tikaona kukoma mtima kwathu kwachibadwa, tingayambe kuchita zinthu zabwino.

Podziwa kuwala kwamkati kumeneku, tingathe kuzindikira mosavuta mwa ena. Kuwona chiyambi chabwino mwa ife eni ndi ena, titha kuyesanso kupanga dziko lathu lofanana kukhala labwino. Bwanji? Rick Hanson akusonyeza kuti pali njira zambiri zosangalalira ndipo akufotokoza zisanu mwa izo.

1. Zindikirani pamene tikusamaliridwa

Tikamaonedwa, kumvedwa ndi kumvedwa, kuyamikiridwa, kukondedwa ndi kukondedwa, zingatenge masekondi ochepa chabe kuti tisangalale ndi chokumana nacho chimenechi, kuchilingalira tokha, kuchilola kudzaza thupi ndi maganizo athu.

2. Zindikirani kukoma mtima m'malingaliro athu, zolankhula ndi zochita zathu

Zimaphatikizaponso zolinga zabwino, kupondereza mkwiyo, kukhala ndi kuphulika kwa malingaliro owononga, chifundo ndi zothandiza kwa ena, chipiriro ndi kutsimikiza mtima, chikondi, kulimba mtima, kuwolowa manja, kuleza mtima ndi kufunitsitsa kuona ngakhale kulankhula zoona, zilizonse. mwina.

Mwa kuzindikira kukoma mtima kumeneku mwa ife tokha, tikhoza kupanga malo opatulika m’maganizo mwathu ndi kusunga mawu ena, mphamvu zina pambali. Awo ŵakunozgeka kunjira na kunyoloska malo ghakupatulika, nga ni mazgu na milimo yakuyuyura ya ŵanji ivyo tasambira.

3. Muzimva ubwino mwa inu nokha

“Kuona mtima kofunikira ndi kukomerana mtima kumakhalapo mwa aliyense, ngakhale atabisika mozama bwanji,” akutero Hanson. Ndi mphamvu yapamtima, yosadziwika, mwinanso mphamvu yopatulika, yochokera mu mtima mwathu.

4. Onani kukoma mtima kwa ena

Izi zidzatithandiza kumva kuwala kwathu kwamkati. Tsiku lililonse likhoza kukondweretsedwa muzowonetsera zina za chilungamo, kukoma mtima ndi ulemu. Kumva mwa aliyense chikhumbo chokhala wolemekezeka ndi wachikondi, kuthandizira, kuthandiza, osati kuvulaza.

5. Kuchita zabwino

Lolani kuwala kwamkati ndi olemekezeka tsiku lililonse kuchulukitse kuchotsa zoyipa m'miyoyo yathu. M'mikhalidwe yovuta kapena maubwenzi, ndi bwino kudzifunsa kuti: "Kodi, monga munthu wabwino, ndingachite chiyani?" Tikamachita zinthu mozindikira chifukwa cha zolinga zabwino, zimakhala zosavuta kwa ife kuona munthu wabwino mwa ife tokha ndi kudzilimbitsa tokha m’malingaliro ameneŵa.

Kuzindikira kukhalapo kwa kuunika kwamkati kungakhale magwero a mphamvu ndi chisangalalo. “Sangalalani ndi zabwino zodabwitsa izi, zenizeni ndi zoona,” akulimbikitsa motero Rick Hanson.