Wokondedwa wanu wavomereza chikondi chake kwa inu. Muli otsimikiza kuti ndinu oyandikana komanso oyenerana wina ndi mnzake. Komabe, ubalewo udakhazikika pamlingo wa chibwenzi ndi misonkhano. Mwamuna sakufulumira kutenga sitepe yotsatira ndipo samapereka kukhalira limodzi. "N'chifukwa chiyani akukayikira chonchi?" mumadzifunsa nokha. Tikugawana mayankho omwe angathe ku funso ili.
Amaopa ubwenzi
“Takhala limodzi kwa zaka ziwiri, timakondana komanso kukhulupirirana. Koma bwenzi langa safuna kukhala pamodzi, - anati Arina. - Ndikafotokozera, amanena kuti tidakali ndi zonse zomwe zikubwera ndipo ndi bwino kuti titalikitse nthawi yachikondi. Ndimaona kuti nthawi ndi nthawi ndikofunika kuti azikhala yekha ndipo akuwoneka kuti akuwopa kutaya ufulu wake.
"Ena amawopa kuyanjana kotero kuti amakhala ndi chidaliro chotsutsana - kuopa kudalira munthu amene amagwirizana naye," akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo Marina Myaus. "Kuopa ubwenzi uku kumachokera ku ubwana: mwanayo amasiyidwa yekha ndipo amaletsedwa kulankhulana ndi munthu wapamtima - mayi." Munthu wina wamkulu sakuwonekera pafupi ndi iye, yemwe mwanayo amamukhulupirira. Ngati siteji ya chiyanjano sichinathe, n'zovuta kuti munthu apange maubwenzi.
Sanalekana ndi amayi ake
“Tili ndi unansi wapamtima, ndipo ndingakondedi kuti tiyambire banja ndi kukhaladi pamodzi,” akuvomereza motero Olga. “Nthawi zina ndimaona kuti n’chifukwa choti mayi ake sandikonda, ndipo zimenezi zimamulimbikitsa kwambiri.”
Katswiri wa zamaganizo Jacques Lacan, amene wapenda vuto la kulekana kosakwanira kwa mayi ndi mwana, mwanthabwala anayerekezera mayiyo ndi ng’ona yaikazi imene imafuna kubweza khanda lake lokula m’mimba.
“Tikunena za kuwongolera amayi, omwe amakonda kutetezedwa mopambanitsa. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, mwamuna sangakhale ndi amayi ake ndipo sangakumane nawo, katswiriyo anafotokoza. "Komabe, pamlingo wosazindikira, sanasiyane ndi kholo lake lopondereza ndipo pansi pamtima amawopa kuti mutsatira mapazi ake ndikuyamba kuwongolera mayendedwe ake onse."
Ngakhale simumupatse chifukwa chokayikira izi, amapangira chithunzi cha amayi ake kwa mkazi aliyense wapamtima. Ndipo chiyembekezo chimenechi chimamuchititsa mantha kwambiri.
Kodi yotsatira?
Nthawi yachikondi yamisonkhano ndi munthu woteroyo imatha kukhala yodzaza modabwitsa, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mkazi aziwoneka kuti moyo wotsatira udzakhala wofanana. Komabe, bwenzi lomwe silingathe kuyanjana, koma likusowa chikondi ndi chisamaliro, amasonyeza kuzama kwa malingaliro otere kwa nthawi yochepa. Ndiyeno, monga lamulo, ali ndi kuchepa kwamaganizo. Chifukwa chake, misonkhano yokhayo imamuyenerera, koma osati moyo pamodzi.
"Ngati mwamuna sapereka kalikonse ndipo" malo akufa" amayamba mu chiyanjano, mkazi nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi zomwe zimatchedwa "casino effect". Akufuna kubwezeretsanso mkhalidwewo kuti mwamunayo azindikire kufunikira kwake ndikupanga lingaliro lomwe likuyembekezeredwa kwa nthawi yayitali, katswiri wa zamaganizo akutero. - Iye amaika ultimatum: mwina tidzakhala limodzi, kapena ine ndikuchoka. Wokondedwayo, mokakamizidwa, angavomereze. Komabe, ndiye kuti muyenera kukankhira mwamuna ku siteji yotsatira, kubadwa kwa ana, ndi kukhala ndi udindo pa ubale umene sanasankhe.
Mumgwirizano wokhazikika pakunyengerera, kusakhutira ndi kukhumudwa zidzakula mosapeŵeka.
Ndikoyenera kuvomereza pasadakhale zomwe mukuyembekezera kuchokera pachibwenzi komanso zomwe mnzanuyo akuyesetsa. "Ngati zinthu zambiri sizikugwirizana ndi inu kuyambira pachiyambi, koma mukufuna kupatsa mgwirizano wanu mwayi, dzipangireni nokha pakapita nthawi kuti muyankhe moona mtima funso loti zolinga zanu ndi ziyembekezo zanu zikugwirizana," akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo.
Ngati ubwenzi sukupita kulikonse, kodi ndi bwino kukhalabe mmenemo? Mudzapeza zomwe mukufuna pokhapokha pamtengo wachinyengo, ndipo m'tsogolomu, kukhala pamodzi sikudzabweretsa chisangalalo kumbali zonse. Wokondedwa yemwe sangathe kugawana maloto anu ndi zokhumba zanu adzalandira malo a munthu amene ali wokonzeka kuchita izi m'moyo wanu.