Kuyesera kumvetsetsa okondedwa, nthawi zina timadziweruza tokha. Ndipo izi ndi zolakwika, akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Alexander Shakhov. Musamayembekezere kuti zochita za amuna zizifanana ndi za akazi. Malongosoledwe ndi upangiri wa akatswiri adzathandiza omwe akufuna kumvetsetsana paubwenzi.
Nthano zimaphunzitsa atsikana kuti chinthu chachikulu ndicho kukumana ndi "ameneyo". Koma ubwenziwo ukufunikabe kuusamalira ndi kuukulitsa. Ndipo palibe amene amaphunzitsanso izi: palibe nthano, palibe agogo, palibe sukulu. Chifukwa chake zokhumudwitsa pafupipafupi. Kodi mungapewe bwanji? Kutengera zomwe ndakumana nazo pogwira ntchito ndi maanja, ndipereka malangizo awiri.
1. Kumbukirani kuti mwamuna ndi wosiyana ndi inu.
Ndikudziwa kuti izi ndizovuta kuvomereza. Liwu lamkati limakunong’oneza kuti: “Chabwino, sipangakhale kusiyana kwakukulu koteroko pakati pathu, chifukwa iwonso ali ndi makutu aŵiri ndi pafupifupi chiŵerengero chofanana cha miyendo.” Koma ndife osiyana kwambiri ndi wina ndi mzake kunja, ndipo mawonekedwe athu amkati ndi osiyana kwambiri kotero kuti kufananitsa koyenera ndi "zakuda ndi zoyera"
Ndi zolakwa zingati zomwe zikanapeŵedwa, ndi maukwati angati amene akanapulumutsidwa, ngati akazi (ndi amunanso) anagwiritsira ntchito nzeru yadziko yovala bwino koma yoyenerera: “simuweruza ena mwa inu nokha”!
Osayembekezera "zabwinobwino" khalidwe kuchokera kwa amuna, chifukwa ndi "wachibadwa" akazi amatanthauza "kumveka kwa mkazi aliyense." Bwino kuphunzira izi «alendo». Lingaliro la amuna pamakhalidwe limayendetsedwa osati ndi makhalidwe otsika kapena kulera koyipa, koma ndi zochita za mamolekyu ang'onoang'ono otchedwa mahomoni.
Pa nthawi yomwe mkazi amamva chisoni (oxytocin ndi amene amachititsa izi), mwamuna samamva (mphaka analira mu oxytocin). Pamene akuwopa (adrenaline: vasoconstriction, kuyankha kwa ndege; opangidwa pamene testosterone yatsika), amakwiya (norepinephrine: vasodilation, kuyankha kwachiwembu; opangidwa nthawi zambiri pamene testosterone ili pamwamba).
Kulakwitsa kwakukulu kwa amayi ndikuyembekeza kuti machitidwe aamuna adzakhala ofanana ndi aakazi. Mukamvetsetsa izi, zimakhala zosavuta kuti muzigwirizana ndi amuna.
2. Siyani zomwe munakumana nazo m'mbuyomu
Ndipo makamaka kutaya za wina. Bernard Shaw anati: “Munthu yekha amene anachita zinthu moyenerera anali telala wanga. Anandiyezanso nthawi iliyonse akandiona, pamene ena onse ankabwera kwa ine ndi miyeso yakale, kuyembekezera kuti ndifanane nayo.
Cholinga cha ubongo wa munthu ndikusanthula chilengedwe, kupeza mapangidwe ndikupanga machitidwe okhazikika. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, timapanga machitidwe, stereotypes mofulumira kwambiri. Koma palibe chomwe chingagwire ntchito ngati mutagwiritsa ntchito zomwe mwapeza muubwenzi wam'mbuyomu, kapena, choyipa kwambiri, chokumana nacho cha atsikana anu, amayi, agogo aakazi ndi "akatswiri a pawayilesi" paubwenzi wanu.
Mwamuna wanu wapano si wofanana ndi wakale wanu. Amuna sali ofanana (ngakhalenso akazi, koma inu nokha mukudziwa zimenezo). Yesani kuyang'ana mnzanuyo ngati mlendo wochokera kudziko lina (ndipo mwina kuchokera ku dziko lina). Osathamangira kuganiza.
Chida chanu chachikulu cholumikizirana ndi funso "Chifukwa chiyani?". Kuperekedwa osati ndi zomwe akunena, koma ndi chidwi, ulemu ndi chikhumbo chofuna kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake, kuphunzira ndi kuvomereza maganizo a wina.