Zamkatimu
Hyper mother: kulera mozama komwe kumafunsidwa
Kulera mozama kwa ena, kubereka kwapakatikati kwa ena ... Kugona limodzi, kuyamwitsa kwa nthawi yayitali, kunyamula gulaye, sizikuwoneka ngati kumatanthauza epiphenomenon. Kodi lingaliro la kukhala mayi limeneli likukwaniritsadi mwana? Tinapita bwanji ku chitsanzo cha mkazi wokangalika kupita ku kuyambiranso kwa umayi wopambana? Mutu wovuta kukhulupirira akatswiri ndi maumboni ochuluka a amayi omwe amachitira izi ...
Kulera mozama, kutanthauzira kosamveka bwino
Amayi "achilengedwe" amenewa ndi amayi omwe asankha kukhala ndi mimba yawo, kubadwa kwa mwana wawo ndi njira yawo yophunzitsira ndi mawu amodzi: kukhala odzipereka kotheratu kwa mwana wawo ndi zosowa zake. Kutsimikiza kwawo: Ubwenzi umene amalukiridwa ndi khanda m’miyezi yoyamba umakhala maziko amaganizo osatha. Amakhulupirira kupereka mwana wawo chitetezo chenicheni cha mkati, ndipo ichi ndicho mfungulo ya kulinganiza kwake kwamtsogolo. Kulera kwapadera kumeneku kumalimbikitsa miyambo ina yomwe imalimbikitsa mgwirizano wa "mayi ndi mwana" wapadera. Timapezapo pell-mell: kuyimba kwanthawi yayitali, kubadwa kwachilengedwe, kubereka kunyumba, kuyamwitsa mochedwa, kuyamwa mwachilengedwe, kuvala ana, kugona limodzi, khungu ndi khungu, matewera ochapitsidwa, chakudya chakuthupi, ukhondo, mankhwala ofewa ndi ena, maphunziro. popanda chiwawa, ndi maphunziro ena ophunzitsa monga Freinet, Steiner kapena Montessori, ngakhale maphunziro a m'banja.
Mayi wina akuchitira umboni m’mabwalowa kuti: “Monga mayi wa ana amapasa, ndinawayamwitsa mosangalala, m’malo otchedwa “ mbulu ”, nditagona cham’mbali pabedi. Zinali zabwino kwenikweni. Ndinachitanso chimodzimodzi kwa mwana wanga wachitatu. Mwamuna wanga amandithandiza pankhaniyi. Ndidayesanso chokulunga chamwana, ndichabwino komanso chimatonthoza makanda. “
Kuchokera ku chisamaliro cha ana "njira yovuta" kupita ku "hypermaternantes"
Mchitidwe wa proximal mothering yatulukira pa nyanja ya Atlantic. Mmodzi mwa ziwerengero zotsogola ndi dokotala wa ana waku America William Sears, wolemba mawu oti "kulera kolumikizana". Lingaliro ili likuchokera pa chiphunzitso cha kugwirizanitsa chopangidwa ndi John Bowlby, katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku England ndi psychoanalyst, yemwe anamwalira mu 1990. ubwenzi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri kwa mwana, monga kudya kapena kugona. Ndi pamene zosowa zake za kuyandikira zikwaniritsidwa kuti akhoza kuchoka pa chiwerengero cha makolo chomwe chimamuteteza kuti afufuze dziko lapansi. Kwa zaka khumi ndi zisanu takhala tikuwona kusintha : kuchokera ku chitsanzo cholimbikitsa kulola khanda kulira, osamutenga pabedi lake, pang'onopang'ono tasamukira ku zosiyana. Kulera ana, kuyamwitsa mochedwa kapena kugona limodzi kuli ndi otsatira ambiri.
Mayi wina akuchitira umboni ku pempho lake loti ayankhe ku chithunzi chofanana cha mayi wobalayo: “Ndikukumbatira, inde ndinatero, kuyamwitsanso, kugona m’chikwama chogona inde, ndipo, koposa apo, onse aŵiri atate ndi ine, mpango ayi ndinakonda kukhala nawo. m'manja mwanga kapena m'malaya anga. Kwa chinenero chamanja ndi chapadera, Naïss ali m'magulu awiri "chizindikiro ndi manja anu" ndi "manja aang'ono" achiwiri, komabe sindine wogontha kapena wosalankhula. “
Kukwaniritsa zosowa za makanda
Katswiri Claude Didier Jean Jouveau, pulezidenti wakale wa Leche League komanso wolemba mabuku angapo onena za kuyamwitsa, wakhala akumvetsetsa ndikuthandizira amayi otchedwa "hyper maternal" kwa zaka zambiri. Iye akufotokoza kuti: “Azimayi ameneŵa akungochita zimene khandalo likufunikira kunyamulidwa ndi kudyetsedwa pamene akufunidwa. Sindikumvetsetsa izi ku France pomwe m'maiko ena zonse zikuwoneka ngati zachilendo ”. Iye anapitiriza kuti: “Mwana wa munthu akabadwa, timadziwa kuti kukula kwake sikokwanira. Anthropologists amachitcha "ex-utero fetus". Zimakhala ngati kuti mwana wa munthu anabadwa nthawi isanakwane ngakhale kuti inafika pamapeto pa milungu ingapo ya kukomoka. Poyerekeza ndi ana a nyama, mwana wa munthu adzafunika zaka ziwiri pamene iye adzakhala wodzilamulira, pamene mwana ng'ombe mwachitsanzo amakhala wodzilamulira mwamsanga atabadwa ".
Tengani mwana wanu motsutsana nanu, kuyamwitsa, Valani nthawi zambiri, khalani pafupi ndi inu usiku… kwa iye, kubereka kwapafupi kumeneku ndikofunikira komanso ndikofunikira. Katswiriyo samamvetsetsa kukayikira kwa akatswiri ena. , "Chaka choyamba payenera kukhala kupitiriza pambuyo pa mimba, khanda liyenera kumverera kuti amayi ake amamuthandiza kukula".
Zowopsa za hypermaternage
Sylvain Missonnier, psychoanalyst komanso pulofesa wachipatala cha psychopathology of perinatal care ku University of Paris-V-René-Descartes, ndiwosungika kwambiri pamaso pa amayi ovuta awa. M’buku lake lakuti “Kukhala kholo, munthu wobadwa munthu. The diagonal "yomwe idasindikizidwa mu 2009, ikuwonetsa malingaliro ena: kwa iye, mwanayo ayenera kukhala ndi moyo wotsatizanakulekana mayesero as kubadwa, kuyamwa, maphunziro a chimbudzi, zomwe ndi njira zofunika kukonzekeretsa mwanayo kuti adzitengere yekha. Wolemba uyu atenga chitsanzo cha "khungu kukhungu" lomwe limachitidwa motalika kwambiri, lomwe limawonedwa ngati njira yoyambira kuphunzira kwa makanda, kulekana. Kwa iye, maphunziro sangakhalepo popanda kuyesa kulekanitsa uku. Zochita zina zimaperekanso chiopsezo chakuthupi. Kugona limodzi mwachitsanzo, komwe kumawonjezera ngozi ya imfa yadzidzidzi pamene khanda lagona pa bedi la makolo. Bungwe la French Pediatric Society limakumbukira pankhaniyi machitidwe abwino a ana ogona: kumbuyo, m'thumba logona komanso pabedi lopanda kanthu momwe zingathere pa matiresi olimba. Akatswiri akuda nkhaŵanso ndi zochitika zochepa za imfa yadzidzidzi imene yachitika pamene mwanayo ananyamulidwa pa gulaye.
Amayi ena amachitira umboni mwamphamvu motsutsana ndi machitidwewa pamabwalo ndipo osati pachiwopsezo chakupha chogona limodzi: "Sindinachitepo izi komanso ngakhale" kugona limodzi ". Kupangitsa mwanayo kugona pabedi limodzi ndi makolo ndikupatsa ana makhalidwe oipa. Aliyense ali ndi bedi lake, mwana wanga wamkazi ndi wake ndipo ife tili ndi athu. Ndikuganiza kuti ndibwino kusunga ubwenzi wapamtima. Mawu akuti amayi kwa ine ndi odabwitsa, chifukwa mawuwa samaphatikizapo abambo ndipo ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe sindinayamwitsebe. “
Mkhalidwe wa akazi mu hypermaternage
Nkhaniyi ikudzutsa mafunso okhudza zotsatira za mchitidwewu, womwe umakhudza kwambiri amayi, pa momwe amayi ambiri alili. Amayi omwe amakopeka ndi ndani kuyamwitsa kwambiri ? Ena mwa iwo ndi omaliza maphunziro ndipo nthawi zambiri amasiya ntchito potsatira a tchuthi chakumayi. Amalongosola momwe zimawavutira kugwirizanitsa moyo wawo wabanja ndi zopinga zamaluso komanso masomphenya ovuta kwambiri a umayi ndi ntchito zina. Kodi uku ndikubwerera m'mbuyo monga momwe Elisabeth Badinter adanenera m'buku lake "The Conflict: the woman and the mother" lofalitsidwa mu 2010? Wafilosofi amatsutsa a kuyankhula mochita kumva zomwe zimatsekereza amayi ku udindo wawo monga amayi, mwachitsanzo zomwe amaona kuti ndi diktat yokhudzana ndi kuyamwitsa. Motero wanthanthiyo amadzudzula chitsanzo cha amayi chodzala ndi ziyembekezo zambiri, zopinga, ndi udindo wa amayi.
Tingadzifunsedi kuti mpaka pati Amayi a "hyper" awa safuna kuthawa ntchito yomwe imawonedwa ngati yovutitsa komanso yosapindulitsa kwambiri, komanso yosaganizira za udindo wawo monga amayi mokwanira. Amayi a hyper adakumana ndi njira ngati pothawirapo m'dziko lamavuto komanso lodzaza ndi zosatsimikizika.