"Sindimakonda ndale": kodi n'zotheka kukhala kutali?

Alexander, wazaka 53, anati: “Ndikudziwa kuchokera m’chondichitikira changa kuti munthu amene sakonda ndale safuna kuchita chilichonse. - Zimandikwiyitsa pamene anthu sadziwa zinthu zomwe aliyense wakambirana kale kambirimbiri.

Apa panali kuyamba kwa filimu Stone "Alexander". Zoyipa. Greece idachita zionetsero zovomerezeka. Nkhani pamakanema onse. Mizere pamakanema. Amandifunsa kuti: “Mwakhala bwanji Loweruka ndi Lamlungu?” - "Ndinapita kwa Alexander. - "Alexander ndani?"

Alexander mwiniwake amalankhula mwachangu pa moyo wa anthu komanso ndale. Ndipo amavomereza kuti akhoza kukhala wokonda kwambiri pazokambirana komanso "kuletsa" anthu angapo pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti "chifukwa cha ndale."

Tatyana wazaka 49 sakugwirizana ndi maganizo amenewa: “Ndimaona kuti anthu amene amakonda kwambiri nkhani za ndale amakhala ndi mavuto. Izi ndi zina za "scab scratchers" - owerenga nyuzipepala, owonera ziwonetsero zandale.

Kuseri kwa udindo uliwonse pali zikhulupiriro ndi njira zozama, akatswiri a zamaganizo amati.

Mtendere wamumtima ndi wofunika kwambiri?

"Nkhondo yofunika kwambiri imachitika osati m'bwalo la ndale, koma mu moyo, m'maganizo a munthu, ndipo zotsatira zake zokha zimakhudza mapangidwe a munthu, kuzindikira zenizeni," Anton, 45, akufotokoza kudzipatula kwake pandale. . "Kufunafuna chisangalalo kunja, mwachitsanzo, pazachuma kapena ndale, kumasokoneza chidwi ndi zomwe zili mkati, kumakhudza moyo wonse wa munthu, zomwe amawononga nthawi zonse ndikufunafuna chisangalalo chosatheka."

Elena wazaka 42 akuvomereza kuti pakanakhala kuti palibe amayi ake ndi bwenzi lake la TV, sakadawona kusintha kwaposachedwa m'boma. “Moyo wanga wamkati ndi wa okondedwa ndiwofunika kwambiri kwa ine. Sitikumbukira yemwe adakwera pampando wachifumu pansi pa Rousseau kapena Dickens, yemwe adalamulira motsogozedwa ndi Mohammed kapena Confucius. Kuphatikiza apo, mbiri imati pali malamulo a chitukuko cha anthu, omwe nthawi zina zimakhala zopanda pake kulimbana nawo.

Natalia, 44, nayenso ali kutali ndi zochitika zandale. "Anthu amatha kukhala ndi zokonda zosiyanasiyana, ine ndili ndi ndale komanso nkhani pomaliza. Komanso, akatswiri a zamaganizo amalangiza kupewa zinthu zoipa. Kodi chidzandisinthira chiyani ndikadzadziwa za nkhondo ina, zigawenga? Ndingogona moipa ndi kudandaula.”

Chilichonse chomwe chili “kunja” sichikhudza moyo wamkati mwanjira ina iliyonse, akutero Karina, wazaka 33. “Chofunika kwambiri ndicho kukhala ndi maganizo abwino, ndipo zimadalira ineyo ndi mmene ndikumvera, thanzi la achibale anga. Ndipo ena onse akuchokera kudziko losiyana kotheratu, pafupifupi kuchokera ku pulaneti lina. Ndidzapeza ndalama nthawi zonse, ndipo zomwe ndili nazo panthawiyi ndizokwanira kwa ine - uwu ndi moyo wanga.

Palibe njira yotulukira m'bokosi lamaliro, china chilichonse chili m'manja mwanga. Ndipo zomwe zili pa TV, anthu ena omwe ali ndi ufulu wolankhula, chuma, boma, sizikundikhudza - kuchokera ku liwu loti "zambiri." Ndikhoza kuchita zonse ndekha. Popanda iwo”.

Koma Eka wazaka 28 nayenso sanali wokondweretsedwa ndi ndale, “mpaka pamene ndinaganiza kuti nthaŵi idzafika m’dziko lino, monga momwe zilili m’maiko ena, boma lidzasintha mokhazikika. Nditazindikira kuti ngati pali anthu ochepa amisala, ndiye kuti wina ayenera kupereka chidziwitso chodalirika. Ndinayenera kuyamba ndi ine ndekha. Sindikufunabe kukhala ndi chidwi ndi ndale. Izi ndizosasangalatsa kwa ine ndekha, koma nditani? Ndiyenera kufotokoza, kunena chifukwa chake sungathe kuthawa pamasom'pamaso komanso pamasamba ochezera.

Pansi pa moto wa chipongwe ndi negativity

Kwa ena, kupeŵa nkhani zokayikitsa n’kofanana ndi chitetezo. Mtsikana wina wazaka 30 dzina lake Ekaterina ananena kuti: “Sindimangolembapo nkhani za ndale ndipo nthawi zambiri sindilowa m’makambitsirano, chifukwa kwa ena n’kofunika kwambiri moti munthu angayambe ndewu.

Iye akuchirikizidwa ndi Galina wazaka 54 zakubadwa kuti: “Sikuti sindichita nawo chidwi kwenikweni. Sindimamvetsetsa chifukwa chake ndi zotsatira za ubale. Sindimafalitsa maganizo anga poopa kuti sangandichirikize, sindinenapo maganizo a munthu wina powopa kuti sangandimvetse.”

Elena wazaka 37 anasiya kuonera TV ndi nkhani chifukwa pali zambiri zoipa, chiwawa ndi nkhanza: "Zonsezi zimatengera mphamvu zambiri, ndipo ndi bwino kuzilozera ku zolinga zanu ndi moyo wanu."

"M'dera la Russia, kwenikweni, anthu ochepa amatha kukangana ndikukambirana modekha - kusowa kwa mfundo zothandizira komanso chithunzi chomveka bwino kumayambitsa kutanthauzira kwawo, komwe kuli kosatheka kusankha koyenera," akutero psychotherapist, katswiri wovomerezeka wa Gestalt. Anna Bokova. - M'malo mwake, aliyense wa iwo amangolepheretsa mapeto.

Koma kuvomereza ndi kuvomereza kulephera kwanu ndi imodzi mwa ntchito zovuta kwambiri pakuchiritsa. Zokambirana zimasanduka tchutchutchu pa intaneti. Fomuyinso simathandiza kukulitsa chidwi pa mutuwo, koma amangoopseza ndi kulepheretsa munthu kufotokoza maganizo ake osokonekera kale.”

Koma mwina ichi ndi gawo la Russia chabe - kupewa zambiri zandale? Lyubov wazaka 50 wakhala akukhala kunja kwa Russia kwa zaka zingapo, ndipo ngakhale ali ndi chidwi ndi ndale za ku Switzerland, amadutsanso nkhani kudzera mu fyuluta yake.

“Nthaŵi zambiri ndimaŵerenga nkhani za m’Chirasha. Nkhani zakumaloko zimakhala ndi nkhani zabodza komanso njira zake zomwe zimayika patsogolo. Koma sindimakambirana nkhani zandale - palibe nthawi, ndipo zimawawa kumva mawu achipongwe anu komanso a munthu wina.

Koma mkangano ndi abwenzi apamtima pa zomwe zinachitika ku Crimea mu 2014 zinachititsa kuti mabanja atatu - pambuyo pa zaka 22 zaubwenzi - anasiya kulankhulana.

“Sindinamvetse n’komwe mmene zinachitikira. Tinasonkhana mwanjira inayake kuti tikasangalale ndipo kenako tinanena zinthu zoipa zambiri. Ngakhale kuti tili kuti ndipo Crimea ali kuti? Tilibe ngakhale achibale kumeneko. Koma zonse zidachoka pa unyolo. Ndipo kwa chaka chachisanu ndi chimodzi tsopano, kuyesa kulikonse kubwezeretsa ubale sikunathe, "Semyon wazaka 43 akudandaula.

Kuyesa kuwongolera ndege

“Awo amene ali ndi chidwi m’zandale kunja kwa ntchito akuyesa kulamulira moyo, zenizeni,” anatero Anna Bokova. - Kuwonjezeka kwa chidwi mu ndale ndi njira yothetsera mantha omwe alipo a chisokonezo cha dziko lapansi. Kusafuna kuvomereza kuti, mokulira, palibe chomwe chimadalira ife ndipo sitingathe kulamulira chilichonse. Komanso ku Russia sitingadziŵe chilichonse chotsimikizirika, chifukwa mawailesi oulutsa nkhani sapereka nkhani zowona.”

“Ndikuganiza kuti mawu akuti “sindifuna ndale” kwenikweni ndi mawu andale,” akufotokoza motero Alexei Stepanov, katswiri wa zamaganizo amene alipo. - Ndine mutu komanso ndale. Kaya ndimakonda kapena ayi, ndikufuna kapena ayi, ndikuvomereza kapena ayi.

Chofunika kwambiri cha nkhaniyi chikhoza kuwululidwa mothandizidwa ndi lingaliro la "locus control" - chikhumbo cha munthu kuti adziwonetse yekha zomwe zimakhudza moyo wake kwambiri: zochitika kapena zosankha zake. Ngati ndikutsimikiza kuti sindingasonkhezere chilichonse, ndiye kuti palibe chifukwa chokhalira ndi chidwi.”

Natalya, wazaka 47, ndi amene amamvetsa zimene sangathe kuchita. "Ndimasamalira" andale: zili ngati kuwuluka mu ndege ndikumvetsera ngati injini zikumveka mofanana, kaya pali anthu openga pozungulira. Mukawona chinachake, mumakhala okhudzidwa kwambiri, odandaula, ngati ayi, mumayesa kugona.

Koma ndikudziwa anthu ambiri amene akangoponda makwerero, nthawi yomweyo amatenga madzi mu botolo kuti azimitse. Ndi mmenenso zilili ndi ndale. Koma sindingathe kudziwa zomwe zikuchitika m’chipinda cha oyendera alendo komanso ndi zipangizo za ndege.”

Kusiyana kwa zolimbikitsa za anthu wamba ndi ndale kumangotsimikizira akale kuti sangakhudze chilichonse. "Kuchiza kwa Gestalt kumadalira njira yodabwitsa. Inde, kuti mutsirize za chinachake, muyenera kudziwa zochitika zonse ndi matanthauzo ake, - anati Anna Bokova. - Ngati wofuna chithandizo ali ndi chidwi ndi chithandizo, amalankhula za zochitika za chidziwitso chake, dziko lake lamkati. Andale, kumbali ina, amafuna kutembenuza zochitika m’njira yowakomera, kuti ziwonekere m’njira yoyenera.

Inde, nthawi zina makasitomala amachitanso izi, izi ndi zachilendo - sizingatheke kudziyang'ana kumbali, mawanga akhungu adzawonekera, koma wothandizira amawamvetsera, ndipo kasitomala amayamba kuwazindikira. Komano andale safuna kuonedwa ndi anthu akunja, amadziwa zomwe akuchita.

Choncho, kukhulupirira kuti munthu wina osati otenga nawo mbali mwachindunji pazochitikazo angathe kudziwa zoona za zolinga zamkati ndi malingaliro ndichinyengo chakuya. N’kupusa kuganiza kuti andale anganene mosapita m’mbali.

Ndicho chifukwa chake munthu akhoza kukhala ndi chidwi ndi ndale pokhapokha ngati amateur, pozindikira kuti sitidzadziwa choonadi chonse. Choncho, sitingakhale ndi maganizo osadziwika. "Zosiyana ndi izi ndizowona kwa iwo omwe sangagwirizane ndikuvomera kusathandizidwa kwawo ndikupitilizabe chinyengo chowongolera."

Palibe chomwe chimandikhudza ine?

Mtsikana wina wazaka 40 dzina lake Roman akuona zimene zikuchitika m’dzikoli. Amangokonda nkhani, koma samawerenga analytics. Ndipo ali ndi zifukwa zomveka za malingaliro ake: "Zili ngati kungongoganizira pa malo a khofi. Momwemonso, mafunde enieni amamveka pansi pa madzi okha ndi omwe alipo. Ndipo ife makamaka timayang'ana mu zoulutsira nkhani ndi thovu la mafunde.

Natalia wazaka 60 ananena kuti ndale zimayamba chifukwa chomenyera ulamuliro. “Ndipo mphamvu nthawi zonse imakhala ndi iwo amene chuma chawo chili m’manja mwawo. Chifukwa chake, anthu ambiri, opanda likulu, alibe mwayi wopeza mphamvu, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti sadzaloledwa kulowa mu khitchini ya ndale. Ndipo chotero, ngakhale iwo amene ali ndi chidwi ndi ndale sangapange kusiyana.

Choncho, khalani ndi chidwi kapena musakhale ndi chidwi, pamene muli maliseche ngati falcon, moyo wina suwala kwa inu. Lumbira, osatukwana, koma ukhoza kukopa china chake ngati utakhala wothandizira. Koma panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, nthaŵi zonse mumakhala pachiwopsezo cha kuberedwa.”

Nkovuta kuvomereza kuti palibe chimene chimadalira pa ife. Chifukwa chake, ambiri amatembenukira kumadera omwe angakhudze zinazake. “Ndipo amapeza matanthauzo ena mwa izi. Ndi munthu aliyense, koma kusaka kumachitika pokhapokha atazindikira kupanda tanthauzo kwa kukhalapo ndikukhala ndi malingaliro okhudzana ndi izi.

Ndi chisankho chomwe chilipo chomwe, posachedwa, mozindikira kapena ayi, aliyense ayang'anire. Ndale m'dziko lathu ndi imodzi mwa madera, chitsanzo chimene chimasonyeza kupanda pake kuyesera kumvetsa chirichonse za munthu. Palibe kuwonekera, koma ambiri akupitiriza kuyesera, "anatero Anna Bokova.

Komabe, si zonse zomveka bwino. "Ndale zomwe zili pamwamba sizingawonekere mu ndale zapansi," akutero Aleksey Stepanov. - Munthu akhoza kunena kuti alibe chidwi ndi ndale, pamene adzaphatikizidwa ndi malamulo omwe alipo, mwachitsanzo, kusukulu kumene mwana wake amaphunzira.

Ndikukhulupirira kuti aliyense wa ife akukhudzidwa ndi zomwe zikuchitika. Ngati ndale ndi "kutaya zinyalala", ndiye tikuchitapo chiyani? Tikhoza kuyeretsa malo otizungulira ndikuyamba kulima maluwa. Tikhoza kutaya zinyalala, kusirira maluwa a anthu ena.

Ngati ndinu wosuta, kusuta fodya papulatifomu, mukuchirikiza kusayeruzika ndi miyezo iwiri. Zilibe kanthu kaya timakonda ndale zapamwamba. Koma ngati nthawi yomweyo tipereka ndalama zothandizira kupewa nkhanza zapakhomo, ndiye kuti timachita nawo ndale.”

"Ndipo, potsirizira pake, zochitika zambiri zamaganizo zimadzipangitsa kukhala odzimva kuti ali pamlingo wa microsocial," akupitiriza psychotherapist. - Kodi mwanayo ali ndi chidwi ndi zomwe banja la makolo ake limatsatira? Kodi akufuna kumukopa? Kodi zingatheke? Mwinamwake, mayankho adzakhala osiyana malinga ndi msinkhu wa mwanayo komanso momwe makolo amachitira ndendende.

Mwanayo amamvera dongosolo la banja, ndipo wachinyamatayo akhoza kukangana naye. Mu ndale, lingaliro la kusamutsa ngati njira yamaganizidwe limawonekera bwino. Aliyense wa ife amakhudzidwa ndi zomwe takumana nazo polankhulana ndi anthu ofunikira - abambo ndi amayi. Zimakhudza momwe timaonera boma, dziko la Motherland ndi wolamulira. "