"Ndili bwino!" Chifukwa chiyani timabisa zowawa

Kathy Wyrant, katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso wogwira ntchito zamagulu, amakhala ku America, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti, mofanana ndi anthu ambiri ammudzi, akukonzekera chikondwerero cha Halloween. Nyumba zimakongoletsedwa, ana akukonzekera zovala zapamwamba, mafupa ndi mizukwa. Kupempha maswiti kwatsala pang'ono kuyamba - chinyengo-kapena-kuchitira: madzulo a October 31, makampani otulutsidwa amagogoda m'nyumba ndipo, monga lamulo, amalandira maswiti kuchokera kwa eni ake akunama. Tchuthicho chatchukanso ku Russia - komabe, tili ndi miyambo yathu yodzikongoletsera.

Akamayang'ana anansi ake ang'onoang'ono akuyesa mawonekedwe osiyanasiyana, Cathy akutembenukira kumutu wovuta, kuyerekeza kuvala zovala ndi masks ochezera. "Anthu ambiri omwe akudwala matenda osachiritsika, mkati mwa sabata komanso patchuthi, amavala "suti yaumoyo" popanda kuvula.

Makhalidwe ake akuluakulu ndi zodzikongoletsera ndi chigoba chomwe chimabisala matendawa. Odwala osachiritsika angasonyeze ndi khalidwe lawo lonse kuti chirichonse chiri mu dongosolo, kukana zovuta za matendawa kapena kukhala chete pa zowawa, yesetsani kuti musakhale kumbuyo kwa iwo omwe ali pafupi nawo mosasamala kanthu za chikhalidwe chawo ndi kulemala kwawo.

Nthawi zina suti yotereyi imavala chifukwa imathandiza kuti musasunthike komanso kukhulupirira kuti zonse zili bwino. Nthawi zina - chifukwa munthu sali wokonzeka kutsegula ndikugawana zambiri zaumwini zokhudzana ndi thanzi. Ndipo nthawi zina - chifukwa chikhalidwe cha anthu chimalamula choncho, ndipo odwala alibe chochita koma kutsatira iwo.

kukakamizidwa ndi anthu

“Makasitomala anga ambiri omwe ali ndi matenda osachiritsika amaopa kukakamiza anzawo ndi okondedwa awo. Iwo ali ndi lingaliro lolimba kuti adzataya maubwenzi mwa kusonyeza popanda "suti ya ubwino" kwa anthu ena, "amagawana Katie Wierant.

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Judith Alpert amakhulupirira kuti mantha a imfa, matenda ndi chiwopsezo zakhazikika m’chikhalidwe cha Azungu: “Timayesetsa kupeŵa zikumbutso za kufooka kwa anthu ndi imfa yosapeŵeka. Anthu omwe ali ndi matenda osachiritsika ayenera kudziletsa kuti asapereke matenda awo mwanjira iliyonse.

Nthawi zina wodwalayo amakakamizika kuyang'ana anthu ofunikira akutha pa moyo wake, chifukwa sali okonzeka kupirira zovuta zawo zomwe zimachitika ataona kuvutika kwake. Kukhumudwa kwakukulu kumabweretsa wodwalayo ndikuyesa kumasuka, poyankha pempho loti asalankhule za matenda ake. Choncho moyo ukhoza kuphunzitsa munthu kuti ndi bwino kuti asachotse chigoba "Ndili bwino" konse.

"Chitani, khalani bwino!"

Mikhalidwe njosapeŵeka pamene kuli kosatheka kubisa mkhalidwe wa munthu, mwachitsanzo, pamene munthu atsirizira m’chipatala kapena mwachiwonekere, mowonekera kwa ena, amataya mphamvu zakuthupi. Zikuwoneka kuti ndiye kuti anthu sakuyembekezeranso kuti "suti yaubwino" idzapitiriza kubisa chowonadi. Komabe, wodwalayo akuyembekezeka kuvala nthawi yomweyo chigoba cha "wodwala wolimba mtima".

Munthu wolimba mtima amene ali ndi vutoli samadandaula konse, amapirira mavuto mosatekeseka, amachita nthabwala pamene ululu wake uli wosapiririka, ndipo amachititsa chidwi anthu amene ali naye pafupi ndi maganizo abwino. Chithunzichi chimathandizidwa kwambiri ndi anthu. Malinga ndi Alpert, "amene amapirira kuvutika ndi kumwetulira amalemekezedwa."

The heroine wa buku "Akazi Aang'ono" Beth ndi chitsanzo chowonekera cha chifaniziro cha heroic odwala. Pokhala ndi maonekedwe aungelo ndi khalidwe, iye amavomereza modzichepetsa matenda ndi kusapeŵeka kwa imfa, amasonyeza kulimba mtima ndi nthabwala. Palibe malo amantha, kuwawidwa mtima, kunyansidwa ndi physiology m'malo owoneka bwinowa. Palibe malo okhala munthu. Kudwaladi.

Chithunzi Chomangidwa

Zimachitika kuti anthu amasankha mozindikira - kuti aziwoneka athanzi kuposa momwe alili. Mwinamwake, posonyeza kukwera kwa mphamvu, amamvadi achimwemwe. Ndipo simuyenera kutsegula ndikuwonetsa kusatetezeka kwanu ndi zowawa kwa iwo omwe sangatenge mosamala mokwanira. Kusankha momwe ndi zomwe angasonyezere ndikuwuza nthawi zonse kumakhala ndi wodwalayo.

Komabe, Kathy Veyrant akutikumbutsa kufunika kokhalabe ozindikira nthawi zonse ndikuzindikira zomwe zikukulimbikitsani pakusankha kwanu. Kodi chikhumbo chobisala matendawa pansi pa chithunzithunzi cha zabwino cholamulidwa ndi chikhumbo chofuna kusunga chinsinsi, kapena ndi kuopa kukanidwa ndi anthu? Kodi pali mantha aakulu akusiyidwa kapena kukanidwa, kusonyeza mkhalidwe weniweni wa munthu? Kodi kudzudzulidwa kudzaoneka pamaso pa okondedwa awo, kodi angadzitalikitse ngati wodwalayo alephera kusonyeza munthu wosangalala moyenerera?

Suti yakukhala bwino ikhoza kukhala ndi zotsatira zoipa pamaganizo a munthu amene wavala. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti munthu akazindikira kuti ena ndi okonzeka kumuona ali wansangala, amayamba kuvutika maganizo.

Momwe mungavalire suti

“Chaka chilichonse ndimayembekezera mwachidwi atsikana ndi anyamata ovala bwino akuthamangira pakhomo panga kuti akapeze maswiti. Iwo ali okondwa kwambiri kuchita mbali yawo! Malingaliro a kampani Katie Wierant. Mnyamata wina wazaka zisanu pafupifupi amakhulupirira kuti akhoza kuwuluka. Mnyamata wazaka zisanu ndi ziwiri wa kanema ndi wokonzeka kuyenda pa carpet yofiira. Ndimalowa nawo masewerawa ndikuyesa kukhulupirira masks ndi zithunzi zawo, ndikusilira mwana wa Hulk ndikupewa mzimu chifukwa cha mantha. Tikuchita nawo modzifunira komanso mwachidwi pazochitika zachikondwerero, zomwe ana amatenga maudindo omwe asankha. "

Ngati munthu wamkulu anena kuti: “Sindiwe mwana wankazi, ndiwe mtsikana wa m’nyumba yoyandikana nayo,” khandalo lidzakhumudwa kosatha. Komabe, ngati anawo akuumirira kuti maudindo awo ndi enieni ndipo palibe mnyamata wamoyo pansi pa chovala cha mafupa, izi zidzakhaladi zowopsya. Zowonadi, pamasewerawa, nthawi zina ana amavula zigoba zawo, ngati amadzikumbutsa kuti: "Sindine chilombo chenicheni, ndine ndekha!"

“Kodi anthu angamve za “suti yachisangalalo” mofanana ndi mmene ana amaonera zovala zawo za Halloween?” akufunsa Kathy Wierant. Ngati atavala nthawi ndi nthawi, zimathandiza kuti zikhale zamphamvu, zosangalatsa komanso zolimba. Koma ngati mutaphatikizana ndi chithunzicho, omwe akuzungulirani sangathenso kuona munthu wamoyo kumbuyo kwake ... Ndipo ngakhale iye mwini akhoza kuiwala kuti ndi wotani weniweni.

Za Katswiri: Cathy Willard Wyrant ndi psychotherapist komanso wothandiza anthu.