“Si mwambo kwa ife kulankhula za ukalamba, kusowa chochita ndi imfa. Koma ndizofunikira. ”

Nthawi yotheka yosowa thandizo imawopseza ena pafupifupi kuposa momwe amachoka. Koma si mwambo kulankhula za izo. Mbadwo wokalamba kaŵirikaŵiri umakhala ndi lingaliro loyerekezera la mmene okondedwa awo adzawasamalirira. Koma amaiŵala kapena kuchita mantha kuti adziŵe motsimikizirika, ambiri zimawavuta kuyambitsa makambitsirano ponena za zimenezo. Kwa ana, njira yosamalira akulu kaŵirikaŵiri imakhala yosadziŵika nkomwe.

Kotero mutu womwewo umakakamizika kuchoka mu chidziwitso ndi kukambirana mpaka onse omwe ali muzochitika zovuta, matenda kapena imfa, mwadzidzidzi amakumana nazo - otayika, mantha komanso osadziwa choti achite.

Pali anthu omwe vuto lalikulu kwambiri kwa iwo ndi kutaya mphamvu yosamalira zosowa zachilengedwe za thupi. Iwo, monga lamulo, amadzidalira okha, amaika ndalama mu thanzi, kusunga kuyenda ndi ntchito. Kukhala wodalira pa wina aliyense kumawopsya kwambiri kwa iwo, ngakhale ngati ana ali okonzeka kusamalira okondedwa awo okalamba.

Ndi ana awa omwe adzawauza kuti: khalani pansi, khalani pansi, musayende, musawerama, musakweze, musade nkhawa. Zikuwoneka kwa iwo: ngati mumateteza kholo lachikulire ku chirichonse "chopambana" komanso chosangalatsa, adzakhala ndi moyo wautali. Zimakhala zovuta kuti azindikire kuti, kumupulumutsa ku zochitika, amamuteteza ku moyo wokha, kulepheretsa tanthauzo, kukoma ndi kuthwa. Funso lalikulu ndiloti njira yotereyi idzakuthandizani kukhala ndi moyo wautali.

Kuonjezera apo, si anthu onse okalamba omwe ali okonzeka kutsekereza moyo. Makamaka chifukwa samadziona ngati okalamba. Pokhala akukumana ndi zochitika zambiri kwa zaka zambiri, akulimbana ndi ntchito zovuta za moyo, nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi nzeru zokwanira ndi mphamvu zokwanira kuti apulumuke ukalamba umene sunawonongeke, osayang'aniridwa ndi chitetezo.

Kodi tili ndi ufulu wolowerera m'miyoyo yawo - ndikutanthauza anthu okalamba omwe ali ndi malingaliro - moyo, kuwateteza ku nkhani, zochitika ndi zochitika? Chofunika kwambiri ndi chiyani? Ufulu wawo wodzilamulira okha ndi moyo wawo mpaka kumapeto kwenikweni, kapena mantha athu aubwana kuwataya ndi kudziimba mlandu chifukwa chosachita “zonse zotheka” kwa iwo? Ufulu wawo wogwira ntchito mpaka wotsiriza, osadzisamalira okha ndikuyenda pamene «miyendo yavala», kapena ufulu wathu wolowererapo ndikuyesera kuyatsa njira yopulumutsira?

Ndikuganiza kuti aliyense adzasankha yekha nkhanizi payekha. Ndipo zikuwoneka kuti palibe yankho lotsimikizika apa. Ndikufuna aliyense akhale ndi udindo pazake. Ana amayenera "kugaya" mantha awo otayika komanso kulephera kupulumutsa munthu amene sakufuna kupulumutsidwa. Makolo - zomwe ukalamba wawo ungakhale.

Palinso mtundu wina wa kholo lokalamba. Poyamba amakonzekera kukalamba ndipo amatanthawuza "kapu yamadzi" yofunika kwambiri. Kapena ali otsimikiza kotheratu kuti ana achikulire, mosasamala kanthu za zolinga zawozawo ndi zolinga zawo, ayenera kupereka miyoyo yawo kotheratu kutumikira ukalamba wawo wofooka.

Okalamba oterowo amakonda kugwa muubwana kapena, m'chinenero cha psychology, regress - kubwezeretsanso nthawi yopanda moyo ya ubwana. Ndipo iwo akhoza kukhala mu chikhalidwe ichi kwa nthawi yaitali, kwa zaka. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, n’kosavuta kwa ana ena kulimbana ndi ukalamba wa atate kapena amayi awo kusiyana ndi moyo wawo. Ndipo wina adzakhumudwitsanso makolo awo powalembera ntchito namwino, ndipo adzatsutsidwa ndi kutsutsidwa ndi ena chifukwa cha "kuitana ndi kudzikonda".

Kodi nkoyenera kwa kholo kuyembekezera kuti ana achikulire adzaika pambali zochita zawo zonse—ntchito, ana, zokonzekera—kuti asamalire okondedwa awo? Kodi ndikwabwino kuti dongosolo lonse labanja ndi mtundu zithandizire kutsika koteroko kwa makolo? Apanso, aliyense ayankha mafunso awa payekhapayekha.

Ndamva nkhani zenizeni kangapo nthaŵi zambiri pamene makolo anasintha maganizo awo oti adzakhala pabedi ngati ana akana kuwasamalira. Ndipo anayamba kusuntha, kuchita bizinesi, zokonda - anapitiriza kukhala mwakhama.

Mkhalidwe wamankhwala wamakono umatipulumutsa ku chisankho chovuta cha zomwe tingachite ngati thupi likadali ndi moyo, ndipo ubongo sungathe kutalikitsa moyo wa wokondedwa mu chikomokere? Koma ifenso tingakumane ndi mkhalidwe wofananawo pamene tidzipeza tiri ana a kholo lachikulire kapena pamene ife enife takalamba.

Sichizoloŵezi kuti tinene, ndipo makamaka kukonza chifuniro chathu, ngati tikufuna kupereka mwayi woti titseke anthu kuti tiyendetse miyoyo yathu - nthawi zambiri awa ndi ana ndi okwatirana - pamene ife tokha sitingathe kupanga chisankho. . Achibale athu nthawi zonse amakhala ndi nthawi yoyitanitsa mwambo wa maliro, lembani wilo. Ndiyeno kulemedwa kwa zisankho zovutazi kumagwera pamapewa a iwo omwe atsala. Sikophweka nthawi zonse kudziwa: zomwe zingakhale zabwino kwambiri kwa wokondedwa wathu.

Ukalamba, kusowa chochita ndi imfa ndi nkhani zomwe sizimakhudzanso pokambirana. Nthawi zambiri, madokotala samauza odwala matendawo zoona, achibale amakakamizika kunama mopweteka ndikunamizira kukhala ndi chiyembekezo, kulepheretsa munthu wapamtima ndi wokondedwa ufulu wotaya miyezi kapena masiku otsiriza a moyo wake.

Ngakhale pa bedi la munthu amene watsala pang’ono kufa, nkwachizoloŵezi kukondwera ndi “kuyembekezera zabwino.” Koma bwanji mu nkhani iyi kudziwa za chifuniro chomaliza? Kodi mungakonzekere bwanji kuchoka, kunena zabwino komanso kukhala ndi nthawi yolankhula mawu ofunikira?

Chifukwa chiyani, ngati - kapena pomwe - malingaliro asungidwa, munthu sangathe kutaya mphamvu zomwe wasiya? Chikhalidwe? Kusakhwima kwa psyche?

Ndikuona kuti ukalamba ndi mbali chabe ya moyo. Zosafunikira kwenikweni kuposa zam'mbuyomu. Ndipo pamene tili amoyo ndi okhoza, tiyenera kukhala ndi udindo wa mmene moyo uno udzakhalire. Osati ana athu, koma ife eni.

Kukonzekera kukhala ndi udindo wa moyo mpaka kumapeto kumalola, zikuwoneka kwa ine, osati kungokonzekera mwanjira ina ukalamba, kukonzekera ndi kusunga ulemu, komanso kukhala chitsanzo ndi chitsanzo kwa ana ake mpaka mapeto a moyo wake. moyo, osati mmene tingakhalire ndi moyo ndi kukalamba kokha komanso mmene tingafe.