«Mimosa», «Olivier» ndi onse ofanana nkhope za achibale - nthawizina zikuoneka kuti aliyense Chaka Chatsopano timakondwerera zomwezo, ndipo amakhala wotopetsa. Koma kusunga miyambo kumatipatsa chilimbikitso champhamvu kwambiri ndipo kumatithandiza kudzimva kuti ndife achichepere, alemba motero Kimberly Kay, katswiri wa zamaganizo.
Kusunga miyambo ya tchuthi ndikofunikira kwambiri pamalingaliro athu - ndikofunikira kwambiri kuposa momwe tingaganizire. Mwina sitikufuna kuwona banja patchuthi ndikukumbukira ndi chisoni chachikulu momwe wachinyamata wathu wokwiya adapandukira pamsonkhano wotsatira wabanja - mwa njira, achinyamata otsutsa mwachiwonekere adadzuka mwa akulu ena patebulo lathu wamba. Koma kumverera kodabwitsa kwa "ulendo wa nthawi" kupyolera mu kudzutsidwa kwa kukumbukira kwathu kwaubwana ndi mphatso yabwino kwa ife, chifukwa zimathandiza kuti timve kukhala kosatha m'moyo.
M’mawu ena, miyambo imatipangitsa kumva kuti ndife achichepere. Amapereka chithandizo ndi cholinga m'miyoyo yathu, akutero mlangizi komanso katswiri wamaganizo Kimberly Kay. Amasunganso kukumbukira kwathu kugwira ntchito, pomwe amayatsa zokumbukira zolumikizana za zomwe zidachitika m'mbuyomu kuyambira pomwe tikukula. Mwachitsanzo, tili ana tinkadziwa kuti sitiyenera kugwira chitofu pamene keke ya Chaka Chatsopano ikuphikidwa, ndipo kenako timaphika kale tokha.
Kimberly Kay akukumbukira kuyesera kupandukira mwambo chaka chomwe mwana wake wamkazi adachoka kutchuthi cha abambo ake. Mayiyo anali ndi nkhawa chifukwa cha chisudzulo chaposachedwapa ndipo anatopa kwambiri. Mnzake anabwera kwa iye kuchokera mumzinda wina ndipo anathandizira «ndondomeko yachipanduko» - kusiya mbale zachikhalidwe ndikudya sushi yokha.
Komabe, dongosololi linalephera. Kay adayitana malo onse oyandikana nawo ndipo sanapeze malo odyera a sushi otseguka. Ngakhale mu supermarket munalibe mpukutu umodzi. Pambuyo pofufuza kwa nthawi yayitali, malo odyera nsomba zamakono adapezeka, otsegulidwa patchuthi chomwechi. Azimayiwo adasungitsa tebulo, koma pomwepo zidapezeka kuti patsikuli, potsatira miyambo, samaphika nsomba kukhitchini, koma mbale zachikhalidwe zomwe zimafanana ndi banja lililonse.
Zaka zingapo pambuyo pake, Kay akunena za chochitikacho monga "dalitso lobisika" lomwe linatonthoza iye pamlingo wosazindikira, pamene anafunikira chitonthozo ndi chithandizo. “N’zodabwitsa kuti timakonda kusiya kucheza ndi anthu komanso zinthu pa nthawi imene timazifuna kwambiri,” iye analemba motero. Zoonadi, kucheza ndi mnzako kunali kochirikiza kwambiri, ndipo tonse tinaseka kuti sitinathe kuthaŵa chakudya chamadzulo chamwambocho.
Nthawi zina zimawoneka kuti timakakamizika kulekerera miyambo, koma phindu lawo limabisika kuchokera ku chidziwitso chathu. Nthawi zina, timalira maliro a okondedwa athu, ndiyeno kusunga miyambo yamasiku onse a tchuthi kumapangitsa kuti zikhale zotheka "kutalikitsa" kukhalapo kwawo m'miyoyo yathu.
Chaka chino tikhoza kupanga chitumbuwa cha kabichi molingana ndi Chinsinsi cha Agogo. Ndipo mutsitsimutseni muzokambirana naye za momwe mungapangire kudzaza molondola. Titha kukumbukira kuti adayika apulo mu mimosa, chifukwa agogo ake ankakonda, ndipo agogo ake aakazi ankaphika madzi a kiranberi nthawi zonse. Tikhoza kuganiza za okondedwa onse amene sali nafe, ndi amene ali kutali ndi ife. Kukumbukira ubwana wanu ndi kuuza ana anu za izo, pamodzi ndi iwo kuphika mbale miyambo tchuthi banja lathu.
Kay analemba kuti: “Chikondi cha zikumbukiro zimenezi chimawala kwambiri moti ndimamva kuti chikuwotcha zowawa za m’mbuyo ndipo ndimalimbikitsa chikondi ndiponso kuyamikira zinthu zabwino zimene ndinakumana nazo.
Kafukufuku wamaganizo amasonyeza kuti mwayi wa "ulendo wa nthawi" umene timapeza posunga miyambo ndi miyambo, m'lingaliro lina, zimatikumbutsa za ubwana. Chifukwa chake lolani kuti zaka za nkhawa zibwerere ku Chaka Chatsopano ndi tchuthi cha Khrisimasi ndipo tidzakhala achichepere - m'moyo ndi thupi.
Za Mlembi: Kimberly Kay ndi psychotherapist, phungu ndi mkhalapakati.