Les Misérables: Zoyenera kuchita ngati muli okhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kukanidwa

Kukanidwa nthawi zonse kumakhala kosasangalatsa. Palibe amene amakonda kukanidwa kapena kukanidwa. Koma pali anthu amene amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi zinthu ngati zimenezi. Publicist Peg Streep akufotokoza chifukwa chake.

Pokumbukira za ubwana wake, akulemba za ubale wapoizoni ndi amayi ake, omwe adamutcha kuti "womvera kwambiri" nthawi iliyonse yomwe mtsikanayo amatsutsa chinthu chochititsa manyazi kapena chosasangalatsa. Pambuyo pake Streep anazindikira kuti iyi inali njira ya amayiyo yopezera mlandu wochitidwa chipongweyo ndi kulungamitsa khalidwe lake lachipongwe. Koma pakati pathu pali anthu amene amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kukanidwa.

Pamalo opanda kanthu

Malingana ndi Peg Streep, tikukamba za anthu omwe ali ndi mtundu wodetsa nkhawa, omwe amakhala tcheru nthawi zonse komanso okonzeka kuzindikira zizindikiro za kukana. Anthu oterowo samangosokonezeka mosavuta ndi kamphindi kakang'ono ka iye - amatha kumuwona ngakhale pamene palibe. "Tangoganizani: muli muofesi ndipo mumapita kukhitchini kukaphika kapu ya khofi. Mukapeza anzanu akucheza kumeneko, nthawi yomweyo mumaganiza kuti ndiwe mutu wa zokambirana zawo. Wodziwika bwino?

Kapena, mwachitsanzo, mukuwona bwenzi mumsewu, ndikumugwedeza, koma akudutsa pafupi ndi inu osazindikira. Mukuganiza bwanji—kuti munthuyo ali wokhazikika m’maganizo mwake kapena kuti wakukhumudwitsani dala? Kodi mumadziona ngati akukanidwa ngati anthu amene mumawadziŵa apanga mapulani osakuitanani nawo, ngakhale ngati simukufuna kujowina nawo? Kodi zimakukhumudwitsani kuti anzanu adayitanira kaye munthu kuphwando, inu musanakhale?"

Anthu oterowo amadziona ngati okanidwa pazifukwa zina kapena popanda chifukwa.

Mukuyembekezera kukanidwa

"Biological chitetezo system" yathu idatipatsa luso lotha kuwerenga nkhope ndikuzindikira momwe anthu amtundu wathu akumvera. Izi zimathandiza kusiyanitsa bwenzi ndi mdani ndi kuyambitsa kuyankha kodzitchinjiriza pa nthawi yoyenera. Zaka zingapo zapitazo, pogwiritsa ntchito njira ya MRI, Lisa J. Berklund ndi anzake adapeza kuti anthu omwe ali ndi chidwi chokana kukana amawonetsa mantha kwambiri poyang'ana nkhope yotsutsa. Izi zikutanthauza kuti kudikira kwawo mwatcheru kumachitika pamlingo wakuthupi.

Ubale uli ngati chinjoka

Kukhala tcheru kumapangitsa kuti anthu azicheza, nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kwambiri. Kumva molimba kapena mokweza "ayi" ku pempho lawo lopempha thandizo kapena kukondedwa, anthu oterowo amakumana ndi mkuntho weniweni wa malingaliro. Pali «kusokonezeka maganizo», makamaka maubwenzi apamtima. Kafukufuku wa Geraldine Downey ndi ena watsimikizira kuti, modabwitsa, ndi mayankho odetsa nkhawa awa pakukanidwa komwe kungathe, pakapita nthawi, kupangitsa bwenzi kusiya chibwenzi.

Peg Streep anagwira mawu kachidutswa ka kuyankhulana ndi mwamuna amene akufotokoza mmene kunaliri kovuta kukhala paubwenzi wotero: “Vuto lalikulu linali ili: mosasamala kanthu za mmene ndinatsimikizirira kuti zonse zinali m’dongosolo, sizinali zokwanira. Ndikabwera kunyumba mochedwa kwa ola limodzi kapena osayankha mameseji, amangochita mantha. Ngati ndinali pa msonkhano ndipo sindikanatha kuyankha kuitana, ndinadzitengera ndekha ndipo ndinasokonezekanso (ndipo ngakhale ndikanadziwiratu za msonkhano uno), ndinakwiya ndikundiimba mlandu. Tinakhala ndi magawo angapo ndi psychotherapist, koma pamapeto pake adanditopetsa. "

Pali nkhani zambiri ngati zimenezi. Mayi amene amakhudzidwa ndi kukanidwa nthawi zambiri samadziwona ali kunja ndikuwunika momwe zinthu zilili. Tsoka ilo, iye amatha kukhulupirira zonyenga ndi mantha ake kusiyana ndi zitsimikiziro za wokondedwa wake.

“Kodi mwaona kuti muli ndi nkhawa ngati mnzanuyo sabweranso nthawi yomweyo kapena kuiwala kulemba ngati walonjeza? Kodi mumaganiza nthawi zonse ngati wakuperekani ndipo sakunyenga? Kodi mukumva nkhawa imeneyi ikusintha kukhala mkwiyo? Streep akufunsa, kutikakamiza kuti tifufuze mozama momwe timachitira.

Zindikirani kukhudzika kwanu ndikuphunzira kukhala nazo

Omwe amadziwa izi kumbuyo kwawo, ngati kuli kotheka, ayenera kulumikizana ndi psychotherapist wabwino. Kuphatikiza apo, Peg Streep amapereka upangiri kwa iwo omwe safuna chidwi chokanidwa komanso kukayikira kuti asinthe moyo kukhala sewero.

1. Yesani kupeza chifukwa cha chidwi

Ngati muli ndi vuto lokondana komanso kumvetsetsa momwe zochitika za m'banja lanu zidakukhudzirani m'mbuyomu, zidzakhala zosavuta kuti mumvetsetse zomwe zikuyambitsa ntchito pakadali pano.

2. Yesetsani kuzindikira zoyambitsa

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kudziwa zomwe zingakulitse chidwi chanu pakukana. Kodi izi zimachitika nthawi zambiri liti - polankhulana pagulu kapena m'modzi ndi wina? Ndi chiyani chomwe chimakusangalatsani kwambiri? Kumvetsetsa zomwe mumachita kungathandize kupewa kupsa mtima.

3. Imani. Penyani! Mvetserani

Streep analemba kuti njira imeneyi anaphunzitsidwa ndi dokotala zaka zambiri zapitazo pamene ankafunika kuthana ndi kuchita mopambanitsa. Njirayi ndi iyi:

1. Khalani. Mukangoyamba kumverera kuti malingaliro akukula, muyenera kusiya maganizo anu. Ngati n'kotheka, pewani m'mikhalidwe yomwe ikuyambitsayo kapena mkangano.
2. Penyani! Yesani kuwunika momwe zinthu zilili kunja ndikudzifunsa ngati mukuchita moyenerera kapena mokokomeza.
3. Mvetserani. Ndikofunika kumva malingaliro anu ndi mawu omwe munthu wina akulankhulira kuti muwonetsetse kuti mwawamvetsetsa bwino ndikuyankha moyenera.

"Kukana kukanidwa kumakhudza zochitika zanu zonse ndi maubwenzi anu, koma zingatheke ndi khama," akumaliza Peg Streep. Ndipo ngati chifukwa cha ntchito yovutayi mutha kupeza mtendere ndi inu nokha ndikumanga maubwenzi abwino, okondwa komanso anzeru, ndiye kuti ntchitoyi sidzakhala chabe.

Za wolemba: Peg Streep ndi wofalitsa komanso wolemba mabuku 11 okhudza maubwenzi apabanja, kuphatikiza The Unloved Daughter. Momwe mungasiyire ubale wokhumudwitsa ndi amayi anu ndikuyamba moyo watsopano.