Akatswiri a zabanja amanena kuti mawu achidule atha kuthetsa kukwiyirana wina ndi mnzake ndi kuchititsa mkangano kukhala kukambirana kolimbikitsa. Kodi mawuwa ndi otani ndipo angathandize bwanji pakasemphana maganizo ndi mnzanu?
"Osaiwala kuti tili mbali imodzi"
Kwa zaka khumi zaukwati, mtolankhani Ashley Innes wakhala akuzoloŵera kulankhula mokweza mawu. Nthawi ndi nthawi zinthu zomwezo zinkabwerezedwanso: mikangano inayambika chifukwa chakuti onse awiri ankagwira ntchito mwakhama, pamene anali ndi nkhawa kwambiri, ndipo analibe nthawi kapena mphamvu za banja.
“Kwanthaŵi yomaliza, kukambitsirana ponena za chiyembekezo chowonjezereka cha ntchito kunathera mkangano. Tinayambanso kusemphana maganizo pankhani ya mmene ntchito imakhudzira ifeyo ndi ana, kuchuluka kwa nthaŵi imene timakhala ndi banja, amene ali ndi thayo la ntchito zapakhomo. Nthaŵi ina, ndinazindikira kuti tinali kukalipirana ndi kukalipirana wina ndi mnzake, ” akukumbukira motero Innes. Koma kenako iye ntchito «chinsinsi chida» - mawu amene amalola kuthetsa mikangano iliyonse.
“Ndinauza mwamuna wanga kuti, ‘Musaiwale kuti tili mbali imodzi. Titalankhula mawu amenewa, nthawi yomweyo timakumbukira kuti munthu amene ali patsogolo pathu si mdani wathu ndipo tilibe chifukwa chotsutsana naye. Ndipo mmalo monyozana, timayamba kumvetserana wina ndi mzake, kuyang'ana zosagwirizana ndi zothetsera mavuto, "akutsimikiza.
Ukwati ndi masewera a timu
Othandizira mabanja ambiri amavomerezana ndi Innes, yemwenso amatsutsa kuti njira yofulumira kwambiri yochepetsera kukambirana ndiyo kunena mawu osavuta akuti "tili mbali imodzi" kapena "tili m'gulu lomwelo."
Ngati sichikuchitidwa nkhanza (komabe, ngati mubwereza mawuwa kangapo patsiku, amasiya msanga kukhala ndi zotsatira), mawuwa amatha kusintha mkangano uliwonse kukhala kukambirana kolimbikitsa momwe mungathetsere vutoli. Pakati pa mkangano, pamene mwakonzeka kugwirana wina ndi mzake pakhosi, amakuthandizani kukumbukira kuti ukwati ndi "masewera a timu" ndipo njira yotsimikizika yotaya ndiyo kuyesa "kumenya" wina ndi mzake.
“Ponena kuti ‘tili m’timu imodzi’, mukusonyeza kuti ngakhale simukukonda mmene zinthu zilili panopa komanso kusiyana komwe kwayambitsa, mukufunabe kukhala limodzi ndikuyamikira ubwenziwo. Izi zimathandiza kuti asiye kudzitchinjiriza ndikuyamba kuthetsa vutoli, "akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Marie Land.
Ngakhale bwino, njirayi imakhala yothandiza pakapita nthawi.
Ngati mukudziwa kuti m'mbuyomu mawu akuti "tili mbali imodzi" adathandizira kukhazika mtima pansi ndikuyamba kuganiza mozama, ndiye kuti mukamamvanso, kumbukirani nthawi yomweyo momwe mudakwaniritsira kubwera ku mgwirizano ndi kumvetsetsana m'mbuyomu. .
"The One Team Technique imagwira ntchito chifukwa imajambula zinthu zofunika kwambiri pa zokambirana zamalingaliro monga mikangano ndi ndewu," akutero katswiri wa zabanja Jennifer Chappel Marsh. Kukambitsirana kwathu panthawi ya mkangano kumachitika pazigawo ziwiri: mutu wa zokambirana (zomwe timatsutsana nazo) ndi njira yokambirana yokha (momwe timakambitsirana). “Nthaŵi zambiri, kukambitsirana wamba kumasanduka mkangano ndendende chifukwa cha mmene kumachitikira,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo.
Kukambitsirana komwe kukuchitika kuchokera paudindo wa «ine motsutsana nanu» sikukuyenda bwino kuyambira pachiyambi. Mungathe kupambana mkanganowo pokakamiza mnzanuyo kuti agwirizane, koma izi zikutanthauza kuti mwaiwala za cholinga chanu chenicheni: mdani weniweni ndi vuto lomwe labuka mu chiyanjano, ndipo liyenera kuthetsedwa pamodzi, pamodzi, monga. gulu.
"Ponena mawu okonzedweratu monga "tili m'gulu lomwelo," timavomereza kuti tagonja ku malingaliro ndikusiya kuyesa "kumenya" mnzako," Chappel Marsh akutsimikiza.
Kupambana Kapena Kuyanjanitsa?
Yankho lake ndi losavuta kotero kuti limakupangitsani kuganiza: chifukwa chiyani timayesetsa kuti tipambane? Kodi ndizovuta kukumbukira kuyambira pachiyambi kuti tili mbali imodzi ndi mnzanu?
“Nthaŵi zina kufunika kwathu kumva, kuyamikiridwa, kuchitiridwa chisamaliro kwa ife kumakhala kofunika kwambiri kuposa zofuna za onse aŵiriwo. Mwachibadwa, kupambana mkangano kumatengedwa ngati umboni wakuti tikutengedwa mozama. Zimapereka lingaliro lachitetezo, "akufotokoza Jennifer Chappel Marsh.
Kumbali ina, kutaya mkangano ndi mnzanu kungayambitse mantha, kukhumudwa, ndi malingaliro ogonja. Mumataya chidaliro ndikukhala woopsezedwa, zomwe zimabweretsa kuyankha kwankhondo kapena kuthawa. Kupewa izi, inu mosimidwa «kumenyana», kuyesera «kupambana». “Anthu ambiri amachita mwaukali m’malo mogwirizana ndi mnzawo,” anatero katswiri wochiritsayo.
Kuchita mwachibadwa kumeneku kungapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kwa ife kuvomereza lingaliro la "timu imodzi."
Mphunzitsi komanso katswiri wazamisala wamabanja Trey Morgan akhala m'banja zaka 31. Wakhala akugwiritsa ntchito njirayi kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo amatsimikizira kuti ndiyothandiza. Komabe, poyamba sizinali zophweka kuti avomereze mfundo imeneyi.
“Ine ndi mkazi wanga tikakangana, aliyense ankafuna kunena zoona. Ndipo, kunena zoona kwathunthu, ndinkafuna kuti winayo alakwitse. Sipanapite zaka zingapo kuti tizindikire kuti "tikusewera" gulu lomwelo. Tidazindikira kuti tapambana ndikuluza limodzi, ”akukumbukira Morgan. Atazindikira zimenezi, ubwenzi wawo ndi mkazi wake unakula kwambiri. "Mukalandira lingaliro ili, limathandizira kuti mtima ukhale pansi."
Kodi kuchita zokambirana pambuyo «mawu amatsenga» amalankhulidwa? Yesani kufunsa mnzanuyo mafunso omwe angakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa malingaliro ake. Mwachitsanzo: "Chofunika kwambiri kwa inu pano ndi chiyani?", "Nchiyani chakukhumudwitsani?". Izi ndizothandiza kwambiri kuposa kunenanso zomwe mwachita, "alangiza chipatala cha mabanja Winifred Reilly.
Mukangoyamba kuganiza motsatira "ndife gulu limodzi," yesani kuzigwiritsa ntchito pazochita zanu zatsiku ndi tsiku ndi mnzanu. "Nthawi zonse ndi bwino kukumbukira kuti mmodzi wa inu akapambana ndipo wina walephera, nonse mukuluza. Ngakhale mutakwanitsa kupeza zomwe mukufuna tsopano, zidzakhala bwino kwambiri paubwenziwo pakapita nthawi ngati mungapeze mayankho osagwirizana omwe amaganizira zofuna za onse awiri, "akufotokoza mwachidule Winifred Reilly.