M'banja la anthu oopsa, ndikupempha osamvera! Zovuta kufotokoza chifukwa chodzaza ndi zotsutsana, anthu osasamala amakhala oopsa kwa ena. Kodi anthu ochita zachiwawa amakhala bwanji? Kodi kubisala mwankhanza ndi chiyani? Zoyenera kuchita ndi khalidwe lodziletsa? Mayankho.

Mawu oti "zopanda mphamvu" adapangidwa panthawi ya nkhondo yachiwiri ya padziko lonse ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku America, Colonel Menninger. Iye anaona kuti asilikali ena anakana kumvera malangizo koma sanasonyeze ndi mawu kapena mwaukali. M'malo mwake, amawonetsa machitidwe osasamala kuti uthenga wawo umveke: kuzengereza, kutsitsa anthu, kusagwira ntchito… Asilikali awa sanawonetse kufunitsitsa kwawo kunena kuti “ayi” mwatsatanetsatane. Izi zimatchedwa kupanduka kobisika. 

Choyamba chotchulidwa ngati vuto la umunthu mu DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), matenda osagwira ntchito adachotsedwa mu Buku la 1994. Koma zoona zake n'zakuti umunthu umenewu ukhoza kukhala chiyambi cha mavuto aakulu a ubale kuntchito, mu chikondi, m'banja kapena muubwenzi, monga vuto lina lililonse la umunthu. Zowonadi, poyang'anizana ndi munthu wamwano yemwe amati "inde" koma yemwe amaganiza kuti "ayi", sitikudziwa momwe tingachitire. Nthawi zonse kukana kugonjera ulamuliro koma popanda kunena momveka bwino, aukali kungokhala chete anthu kuputa mkwiyo ndi kusamvetsetsa interlocutors awo. Kuphatikiza pa kukana kobisika kumvera:

• Kukana. Anthu ochita zachiwawa sazindikira khalidwe lawo.
• Mabodza. 
• Kukaniza kusintha.
• Kuzunzidwa. 
• Kumva kuzunzidwa.
• Kudzudzula ena.
• Social passivity. 

Sitinabadwe amwano, timakhala iwo. Tiyenera kusiyanitsa pakati pa zizolowezi zamwano, zomwe tonsefe titha kuchitapo nthawi zina, kuchokera ku umunthu waukali, womwe umakhala wamuyaya chifukwa umapondereza mavuto ozama a m'maganizo. Chifukwa chake, pali zinthu zingapo zomwe zingayambitse chiwawa chokhazikika:

• Kuopa mikangano.
• Kuopa kusintha. Izi zimakhazikitsa malamulo atsopano omwe osasamala adzayenera kugonjera. 
• Kusadzidalira ndi kudzidalira zomwe zimawonekera pakuwonjezeka kwa kutengeka. Kuchokera kumene sadzapita kukangana kuti apewe kutsutsidwa kulikonse.
• Kukulira m’banja lopanda ulamuliro choncho malire kapena m'malo mwake m’banja limene kusonyeza mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa kunali kosaloledwa, chifukwa cha munthu wopondereza kwambiri. 
• Paranoia. Kumverera kovutitsidwa nthawi zonse ndi ena kumatha kufotokozera njira yodzitchinjiriza yokhazikika iyi.

Njira yabwino kwambiri yothanirana ndi munthu wankhanza ndi kungomutsatira ndi mchere wambiri… Mukakhala ndi udindo komanso kuumirira, ndiye kuti iye satsatira.

Kuntchito, yesetsani momwe mungathere kuti musakhumudwitse kapena kukhumudwitsa mnzanu wapamtima-wamwano chifukwa iwo, mosiyana ndi inu, adzakhala ndi nthawi yovuta kupirira nawo ndipo poyankha sadzafuna kugwira ntchito nanu. Kwa Christophe André, dokotala wazamisala komanso wolemba bukuli "Ndimakana umunthu wapoizoni (ndi tizirombo tina)”, Ndikwabwino, ndi kungokhala chete, ku “nthawi zonse lemekezani mafomu, mufunseni chisankho chilichonse kapena malangizo aliwonse”. Kudzimva kukhala wofunika kudzam’patsanso kudzidalira. Komanso, m'malo momulola kuti azidandaula ndikudandaula pakona yake, ndibwino "mulimbikitseni kuti afotokoze chomwe chili cholakwika”. Anthu ochita zachiwawa amafunikira chilimbikitso ndi maphunziro kuti afotokoze zosowa zawo, mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa. Komabe, musalole kuti akumane ndi kukana kwake kumvera. Yembekezerani ulemu pang'ono kuchokera kwa munthuyu ndikumupangitsa kuti amvetsetse kuti khalidwe lawo losasamala ndi lovuta mu ubale wawo ndi ena. Nthawi zambiri, anthu ochita zachiwawa samazindikira kuti alidi, mpaka tsiku lina adzazindikira kuti maubwenzi awo aukatswiri, okondana, ochezeka, kapena achibale awo ndi osokonekera ndipo mwina anali ndi chochita nazo. popeza kuti machitidwe owononga omwewo amabwerezedwa m’miyoyo yawo. Pankhaniyi, thandizo la katswiri lingathe kuganiziridwa ndi lothandiza kuti athetse makhalidwe ovuta kwambiriwa.