Zamkatimu
Mkwiyo, mantha, chisoni… Tikudziwa momwe zomvererazi zingatigonjetsere ife. Ndipo izi ndi zoona kwambiri kwa mwana. N’chifukwa chake n’kofunika kwambiri kuti kholo liphunzitse mwana wake kulamulira bwino maganizo ake, osati kuthedwa nzeru. Kukhoza kumeneku kudzakhala kwa iye, muubwana wake monga m'moyo wake wachikulire wamtsogolo, chinthu chachikulu chotsimikizira umunthu wake.
Kutengeka ndi chiyani?
Kutengeka ndi machitidwe achilengedwe omwe amadziwonetsera ngati kutengeka kwakuthupi ndikupanga khalidwe: ndiye maziko a umunthu wathu. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, maganizo a mwana wamng'ono amakhala kutsimikiza. Amadzaza moyo wake wamtsogolo ndi mtundu wapadera.
Mwanayo amakhala paubwenzi wapamtima ndi amayi ake ndi kusokoneza maganizo ake. Catherine Gueguen anafotokoza kuti: “Panthaŵi ya kubadwa kwake, ngati mayi ake ali ndi mantha, mwanayo amaopa kwambiri. Koma ngati iye ali bwino limodzi, wodekha, iyenso adzakhala. Pali ana amene akumwetulira pobadwa! “
Miyezi yoyamba, wakhanda amayamba kusiyanitsa. Iye amene amadzimva yekha kukhalapo kupyolera mu zomverera za thupi lake, ali mu chiyanjano chapafupi ndi maganizo ake. Amasonyeza maganizo ake. Mwa kukhala atcheru, tingathe kumvetsa.
Kodi kutanthauzira kutengeka?
Kutanthauzira kutengeka, etymology imatiyika ife panjira. Mawuwa amachokera ku Chilatini "movere", yomwe imayambira. Dr. Catherine Gueguen, dokotala wa ana anati: Koma kuyambira kuwuka kwa ma neuroscience okhudzidwa komanso okhudza chikhalidwe cha anthu, tamvetsetsa kuti ndizofunikira pakukula kwathu: amasankha momwe timaganizira, kuchita ndi kuchita. “
Kutali ndi kutsekeredwa ku zisanu zomwe zimatchulidwa kawirikawiri (mantha, kunyansidwa, chimwemwe, chisoni, mkwiyo), chikhalidwe cha anthu ndi chachikulu kwambiri: kutengeka kulikonse kumayenderana ndi kutengeka. Choncho, mwa khanda, kusapeza bwino, kutopa, ngakhale njala, ndi maganizo komanso mantha kapena kusungulumwa. Kwa makanda, kutengeka kulikonse kumakhala ndi mtundu wamalingaliro womwe umawonekera mwa misozi, kulira, kumwetulira, kusuntha, kaimidwe, koma koposa zonse kudzera mu mawonekedwe a nkhope yake. Maso ake ndi chithunzithunzi cha moyo wake wamkati.
"Mwa ana azaka za 0-3, kutengeka mtima ndi njira yokhayo yofotokozera zakukhosi, zosowa ndi malingaliro, chifukwa chake zimakhalapo komanso zimasokoneza nthawi ino yamoyo. Mawu otonthoza, kugwedeza m'manja, kutikita minofu m'mimba, kumasula malingalirowa mosavuta ... "
Anne-Laure Benattar
Muvidiyo: Mawu 12 amatsenga othandizira mwana wanu kuchepetsa mkwiyo
Zonse zomwe mwana amamva ndi kutengeka
Kholo likangoganiza kuti lazindikira zimene khandalo likumva, liyenera kulifotokoza mwa kufunsa ndi kuona mmene mwanayo akuyankhira: “Kodi umadziona wekhawekha? "," Kodi mukufuna kuti tisinthe thewera lanu? “. Samalani kuti "musamamatire" kutanthauzira kwanu pamwana, ndikuwona bwino kuti muwongolere malingaliro ake. Kodi nkhope yake imatseguka, kumasuka? Ndi chizindikiro chabwino. Kholo likazindikira chimene chimagwira ntchito, pamene lidziŵa mmene mwana wamng’ono akumvera, amalabadira moyenerera: mwanayo amamva kuti akumvedwa, amakhala wosungika. Zimatenga nthawi, koma ndizofunikira kuti zitheke.
Zowonadi, kafukufuku wokhudza kukhudzidwa kwamalingaliro omwe amachitika pazaumoyo komanso chikhalidwe cha anthu awonetsa kuti ubongo uli ndi nkhawa - mwachitsanzo mwa mwana wachichepere yemwe malingaliro ake sazindikirika kapena kuganiziridwa, koma kwa yemwe timati "siyani izi. !" - imapanga cortisol, hormone yomwe imalepheretsa kukula kwa madera angapo a ubongo, kuphatikizapo prefrontal cortex, mpando wopangira zisankho ndi zochita, ndi amygdala, malo opangira malingaliro. Mosiyana ndi zimenezi, mtima wachifundo umalimbikitsa kukula kwa zinthu zonse zotuwa., imawonjezera kuchuluka kwa hippocampus, malo ofunikira pophunzirira, ndipo imapanga mwa ana ang'onoang'ono kupanga oxytocin, timadzi tomwe timawathandiza kulamulira maganizo awo ndikukulitsa luso lawo lachiyanjano mwa kugwirizana ndi malingaliro a anthu omwe amamuzungulira. Chisoni kwa mwanayo chimalimbikitsa kukula kwa ubongo wake ndikumulola kuti apeze zofunikira za kudzidziwa zomwe zingamupangitse kukhala wamkulu wokhazikika.
Amadzidziwa yekha
Ana akamakula, amatha kugwirizanitsa maganizo ndi chinenero ndi mmene akumvera. Ngati zochitika zake zamaganizo zaganiziridwa kuyambira masiku ake oyambirira, ngati wamva munthu wamkulu akunena zomwe akumva, adzadziwa momwe angachitire panthawi yake. Choncho, kuyambira wazaka ziwiri, mwana wamng'ono amatha kudziwa ngati ali ndi chisoni, nkhawa kapena kukwiya ... Ndi chuma chambiri kuti amvetsetse!
Timakonda kuganizira za "zosasangalatsa" zokha. Tikhale ndi chizolowezi cholankhulanso mawu osangalatsa! Chifukwa chake, m'pamene mwana amamva makolo ake akunena kuti: "Ndimakupeza kuti ndiwe wokondwa / wosekedwa / wokhutitsidwa / wokonda chidwi / wokondwa / wokondweretsedwa / woyipa / wamphamvu / wachidwi / etc. iye adzatha kubereka pambuyo pake mitundu yosiyanasiyana iyi pa palette yake yamalingaliro.
Mukamaganizira mmene akumvera popanda kuweruza kapena kukwiya, mwanayo amakhala wodzidalira. Ngati tim’thandiza kufotokoza mmene akumvera mumtima mwake, adzadziŵa kuchita zimenezo mofulumira kwambiri, zimene zingam’thandize kuchita bwino. Kumbali inayi, siziri zaka 6-7 - zaka zodziwika bwino za kulingalira! - kuti aphunzire kulamulira maganizo ake (kukhazika mtima pansi kapena kudzitsimikizira yekha, mwachitsanzo). Mpaka pamenepo, akufunika thandizo lanu kuthana ndi zokhumudwitsa ndi mkwiyo ...