Mafunso okhudza kugonana amene munachita manyazi kuwafunsa

Pokhala ndi mphamvu yachilengedwe, kugonana kumabweretsa mavuto ambiri kwa ife. Mobisa timalakalaka kukhala ndi anthu amene sitikuwadziwa kapena amene sitiwakonda. Ena amalolera kuchita zinthu zoipa kapena zochititsa manyazi pofuna kukhutiritsa kugonana. Ndipo ntchitoyo si yophweka - potsiriza kuuza anthu omwe timawakonda kwambiri za zomwe tikufuna pabedi.

Alain de Botton anati: “Timavutika mobisa, tikumamva ululu wowawa wa kugonana umene timalota kapena kuyesetsa kuupewa,” anatero Alain de Botton ndipo amayankha mafunso ovuta kwambiri pa nkhani yodzutsa chilakolako chogonana.

N’cifukwa ciani anthu amanama ponena za zilakolako zawo zenizeni?

Ngakhale kuti kugonana ndi chimodzi mwazochita zapamtima kwambiri, zimazunguliridwa ndi malingaliro ambiri ovomerezeka ndi anthu. Amatanthauzira zomwe chikhalidwe cha kugonana chiri. Ndipotu, ochepa a ife timagwa pansi pa lingaliro ili, analemba Alain de Botton m'buku lakuti "Momwe mungaganizire zambiri zokhudza kugonana."

Pafupifupi tonsefe timavutika ndi malingaliro a liwongo kapena nseru, mantha ndi zilakolako zowononga, kusalabadira ndi kunyansidwa. Ndipo sitili okonzeka kulankhula za moyo wathu wogonana, chifukwa tonsefe timafuna kuti tiziganiziridwa bwino.

Koma panthawiyi, pamene kunyansidwa kungafike pamlingo waukulu, timamva kuvomerezedwa ndi kuvomerezedwa, timakhala ndi kumverera kwamphamvu.

Tangoganizani zinenero ziwiri zikuyang'ana mbali yapakamwa - phanga lakuda, lachinyezi lomwe limayang'ana dokotala wa mano yekha. Chikhalidwe chokha cha mgwirizano wa anthu awiri chimasindikizidwa ndi chinthu chomwe chingawawopsyeze ngati chinachitika kwa wina.

Zomwe zimachitika kwa okwatirana m'chipinda chogona ndizotalikirana ndi miyambo ndi malamulo okhazikitsidwa. Ndi mchitidwe wa mgwirizano pakati pa kugonana kwachinsinsi komwe kumatsegulana.

Kodi ukwati umawononga kugonana?

Alain de Botton akutsimikizira kuti: “Kuchepa kwapang’onopang’ono kwa kukula ndi kaŵirikaŵiri kwa kugonana kwa okwatirana ndi mfundo yosapeŵeka ya sayansi ya zamoyo ndi umboni wa mkhalidwe wathu wachibadwa,” akutsimikizira motero Alain de Botton. “Ngakhale makampani opanga zakugonana akuyesera kutiuza kuti ukwati uyenera kutsitsimutsidwa ndi chikhumbo chosalekeza.

Kusowa kwa kugonana mu maubwenzi okhazikika kumagwirizanitsidwa ndi kulephera kusintha mwamsanga kuchoka ku chizoloŵezi kupita ku zokopa. Makhalidwe omwe kugonana kumafuna kwa ife kumatsutsana ndi kusunga kabuku kakang'ono ka moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku.

Kugonana kumafuna kulingalira, kusewera, ndi kutaya kudziletsa, choncho, mwa chikhalidwe chake, kumasokoneza. Timapewa kugonana osati chifukwa sizimatisangalatsa, koma chifukwa zosangalatsa zake zimafooketsa luso lathu lochita ntchito zapakhomo.

Zimakhala zovuta kuti musinthe kuchoka pa kukambirana za chakudya chamtsogolo ndikulimbikitsa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuyesa ntchito ya namwino kapena kukoka nsapato za bondo. Tingaone kukhala kosavuta kupempha wina kuti achite zimenezo—munthu amene sitidzayenera kudya naye chakudya cham’maŵa kwa zaka makumi atatu zotsatizanatsatizanazi.

N’chifukwa chiyani timaona kuti kusakhulupirika n’kofunika kwambiri?

Ngakhale kuti anthu akutsutsa kusakhulupirika, kusowa kwa chikhumbo chilichonse cha kugonana kumbali ndi kopanda nzeru ndipo kumatsutsana ndi chilengedwe. Ndikukana mphamvu zomwe zimalamulira kudzikonda kwathu komanso kukhudza "zoyambitsa zonyansa" zathu: "zidendene zazitali ndi masiketi osalala, chiuno chosalala ndi akakolo amphamvu" ...

Timakwiya tikakumana ndi mfundo yakuti palibe aliyense wa ife amene angakhale chilichonse kwa munthu wina. Koma chowonadi ichi chimakanidwa ndi lingaliro laukwati wamakono, ndi zokhumba zake ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti zosowa zathu zonse zikhoza kukhutitsidwa ndi munthu mmodzi yekha.

Koma n’kupanda nzeru kuganiza kuti kusakhulupirika kungakhale njira yothetsera kukhumudwa kumeneku. Sizingatheke kugona ndi munthu wina ndipo nthawi yomweyo osavulaza zomwe zili m'banja, "akutero Alain de Botton.

Munthu wina amene timakonda kukopana naye pa Intaneti akatiitana kuti tidzakumane kuhotelo, timakopeka. Chifukwa cha chisangalalo cha maola ochepa, tatsala pang’ono kuyika moyo wathu waukwati pachiswe.

Olimbikitsa ukwati wachikondi amakhulupirira kuti kutengeka ndi chilichonse. Koma panthawi imodzimodziyo, amanyalanyaza zinyalala zomwe zimayandama pamwamba pa kaleidoscope yathu yamaganizo. Amanyalanyaza mphamvu zonsezi zotsutsana, zamaganizo ndi za mahomoni zomwe zikuyesera kutilekanitsa m'madera osiyanasiyana.

Sitikanakhalako tikanakhala kuti sitinadzipereke tokha mwakuthupi, ndi chikhumbo chosakhalitsa chofuna kupha ana athu, kuphera mwamuna kapena mkazi wathu, kapena kusudzulana chifukwa cha mkangano wokhudza yemwe angasinthe babu. Kudziletsa kwina kuli kofunika pa thanzi lamaganizo la mitundu yathu ndi kukhalapo kokwanira kwa anthu abwino.

"Ndife gulu lachisokonezo chamankhwala. Ndipo nkwabwino kuti tidziŵa kuti mikhalidwe yakunja kaŵirikaŵiri imatsutsana ndi malingaliro athu. Ichi ndi chizindikiro kuti tili panjira yoyenera, "akutero Alain de Botton.

Za wolemba: Alain de Botton ndi wolemba komanso filosofi waku Britain.