Nthawi zambiri timakonda kuphatikiza chikondi ndi kugonana. Koma kodi chisangalalo chogonana ndi okwatirana sichingafanane? Kodi ndizotheka kusangalala ndi munthu amene simukukondana naye? Yankho lake m'mawu ochepa.

Tikakhala pachibwenzi, malingaliro athu ndi malingaliro athu sizofanana. Timakonda kumva malingaliro athu mwakuya, ndikusangalala ndi zomwe timamva mokwanira. Ndipo izi zimakhudzanso zogonana. Chifukwa chake, chiwonetsero chokhudzidwa ndikumverera mwachikondi chimakhala chokulirapo, chifukwa cha kuphatikiza kwamalingaliro. Magawo angapo awonjezeredwa ku izi: mukakhala mchikondi, mumadziwa kuti mumakondedwa ndikufunidwa. Izi zimawonjezera kudzidalira kwathu, ndipo zimatipangitsa kukhala omasuka tikamagonana. Momwemonso, chikhumbo chathu chimayenderana ndi chikondi chomwe tili nacho kwa mnzathu. Chifukwa chake, kusangalatsa anzako kumatikondweretsanso, ndipo chisangalalo chimangowonjezeka kakhumi.

Kugonana komwe kumachitika mkati mwa ubale wapabanja kuli ndi maubwino angapo. Choyamba, kukondana kwa chibwenzi kumakupatsani mwayi kuti muzimasuka, kuti mulimbe mtima kunena za zokhumba zanu, malingaliro anu kapena m'malo mwake kukayika kapena mantha anu. Mukakhala mchikondi, mumakhala ndi chidaliro ndi mnzanu. Chifukwa chake, zikuwoneka zomveka kuti malowa ndi abwino kuchitira zogonana kuposa ngati wina sagawana moyo wa mnzake. Pakati paubwenzi wanu, zokambirana zimamasulidwa, ndipo mutha kuwona zokumana nazo zatsopano, kufotokozera zokonda zanu kwa winayo, kapena kumufunsa kuti ayese zochitika zina zogonana kapena maudindo.

Monga tawonera, mukakhala pachibwenzi, nthawi zambiri mumakhala omasuka. Ndipo kuyandikana kumeneku kuli ndi maubwino ena. Zowonadi, ubale wokhalitsa umakupatsani mwayi wodziwa bwenzi lanu bwino, thupi lake ndi zokhumba zake. Ndipo ndikosavuta kupangitsa kuti munthu afike pachimake pomwe mumadziwa bwino thupi lanu komanso momwe zimachitikira. Chifukwa chake, muli ndi mwayi wopambana wopangitsa mnzanu kubwera kumaliseche kuposa mlendo: mukudziwa kale maudindo omwe mungatenge, komwe mungawongolere ma caress anu, nyimbo yomwe mungatenge, momwe mungapsompsone, ndi zina. Kudziwa kwa winayo, zokhumba zawo ndi thupi lawo zitha kukuthandizani kutsogolera wokondedwa wanu kupita pachimake mwachangu kuposa ndi munthu yemwe simunazolowere kukhala naye pachibwenzi.

Komabe anthu ena samva kufunika kokhala ndi malingaliro okondedwa awo kuti akhale okhutitsidwa ndi kugonana. Mutha kusangalala ndi kugonana osakondana. Izi zili choncho ndi "abwenzi ogonana nawo" mwachitsanzo, monga timawatcha anthu omwe ndi abwenzi tsiku ndi tsiku, koma omwe amagona limodzi nthawi ndi nthawi. Apa, awiriwa amagawana zovuta komanso amakondana chifukwa chaubwenzi wawo, koma samalankhula kwenikweni mwachikondi. Chofunikira ndikumva bwino, kukhala omasuka ndikumulakalaka mnzako! Ubale wamtunduwu, womasuka komanso womasuka pamalingaliro, utha kukulolani kuti mumve kukhala wodziyimira panokha, ndikusiya usiku umodzi, kapena kupitilira apo.

Monga taonera, chikondi ndi malingaliro sizigwirizana. Kwa ena, kugonana sikungakhale kwabwino mukamachita ngati banja. Ndipo pazifukwa zomveka: munthu aliyense ndi wosiyana, ndipo chilakolako chogonana sichinapangidwe mofanana kwa aliyense. Ngati banjali lipereka maziko a kukhulupirirana komanso kukondana, ena amasangalala ndi ubale wamunthu mmodzi, kapena ndi anthu omwe sawadziwa kapena kuwadziwa pang'ono. Momwemonso, kukhala mchikondi sikutanthauza kukhala pachibwenzi. Chofunikira ndikuti mukhale omasuka ndi mnzanu, kuti mufotokozere zosangalatsa zanu ndikupeza ubale womwe ukukuyenererani.