"... Ndipo adakhala mosangalala kuyambira kalekale - chifukwa sanaonanenso." Nthawi zina chomwe chimapangitsa nthano kukhala yosangalatsa sikusintha momwe timayembekezera. Kutsatira zochitika “zachizoloŵezi” —ukwati, banja, ana —kungatiwonongere kwambiri.
Sabwera konse kudzadandaula za ukwati wawo. Zomwe zimawadetsa nkhawa ndizosiyana za psychosomatics, zomwe zimayambitsa zomwe sizipezeka ndi madokotala. "Ndimakhala ndi mutu madzulo aliwonse", "msana wanga ukupweteka", "Ndimadzuka m'mawa ndi mphamvu, zonse zimakhala ngati chifunga", "cystitis kawiri pamwezi" - ndipo awa ndi amayi aang'ono kwambiri, kodi zonsezi zimachokera kuti? kuchokera? Ndiye zimachitika: ali ndi ubale, koma aulesi, wotopetsa, wopanda moto, wopanda zokopa. Ndiyeno ndikuganiza: tsopano zonse zimveka bwino.
Kodi maukwati amachitika liti? Mwinamwake mungayankhe: pamene anthu awiri azindikira kuti sangakhale popanda wina ndi mzake. Chodabwitsa, izi sizikhala choncho nthawi zonse. Nanga n’cifukwa ciani anali limodzi? Mayankho odziwika bwino: "tinakumana kwa chaka ndi theka, tidayenera kusankha", "panalibe njira zina, koma tinkawoneka kuti timagwirizana bwino", "amayi adati: bola ngati mungathe, kwatirani kale, ndi msungwana wabwino”, “totatopa ndi kukhala ndi makolo , kunalibe ndalama zokwanira zogulira nyumba yalendi, koma tonse tingakwanitse.” Koma bwanji osawombera ndi mnzanu? Ndipo ngati tili ndi chibwenzi, zimakhala zovuta kubweretsa mnyamata. Ndipo akalulu awiri ... "
Kaŵirikaŵiri ukwati umatha pamene nyonga yaukwatiyo yatha kapena yatsala pang’ono kutheratu. Palibenso kutengeka maganizo, koma “zolingalira” zamitundumitundu zimayamba kugwira ntchito: zikhala zosavuta, nthawi yakwana, timagwirizana, ndipo - chomvetsa chisoni kwambiri - "ndizokayikitsa kuti wina angandifune."
M'madera amakono, palibenso kufunikira kwachuma kukwatira, koma maganizo a Soviet akadali amphamvu kwambiri. Ngakhale m'mizinda ikuluikulu, makolo savomereza khalidwe la "ufulu" la ana awo aakazi, amakhulupirira kuti amaloledwa kukhala padera ndi amuna awo.
"Mudzakhala wamng'ono kwa ine nthawi zonse!" - Izi zimanenedwa kangati monyadira, koma iyi ndi nthawi yoti muganizire!
Ndipo achinyamata omwe ali pansi pa malo ogona a makolo - ndipo izi zimagwira ntchito kwa amuna ndi akazi - amakhala pansi: ayenera kutsatira malamulo omwe sanakhazikitsidwe ndi iwo, amadzudzulidwa ngati abwera kunyumba pambuyo pa ola loikika, ndi zina zotero. Zikuwoneka kuti sizitenga m'modzi kapena awiri, koma mibadwo ingapo izi zisanachitike.
Ndipo tsopano tikulimbana ndi infantilism mochedwa mwa ana ndi makolo: otsiriza samawoneka kuti sakudziwa kuti mwanayo ayenera kukhala ndi moyo wake komanso kuti wakhala wamkulu. "Mudzakhala wamng'ono kwa ine nthawi zonse!" - Izi zimanenedwa kangati monyadira, koma iyi ndi nthawi yoti muganizire! Ukwati mumkhalidwe uwu umakhala njira yokhayo yopezera udindo wa munthu wamkulu. Koma nthawi zina mumayenera kulipira mtengo wokwera pa izi.
Nthawi ina mayi wina wazaka 30 anabwera kwa ine ndi mutu waching'alang'ala kwambiri, umene palibe chomwe chinathandiza kuchotsa. Kwa zaka zitatu adakhala m'banja lachivomerezo ndi mnzake. Zinali zochititsa mantha kuchoka: ndiye kunali koyenera kusintha ntchito, ndipo "amandikonda, ndingachite bwanji izi kwa iye", ndipo "mwadzidzidzi sindidzapeza aliyense, chifukwa sindinenso mtsikana ...". Pambuyo pake adasiyana, adakwatiwa ndi munthu wina, ndipo mutu waching'alang'ala unazimiririka modzidzimutsa komanso popanda chifukwa.
Matenda athu ndi uthenga wa thupi, khalidwe lake lotsutsa. Kodi iye akutsutsa chiyani? Potsutsa kusowa kwa chisangalalo. Ngati sizili paubwenzi, ndiye kuti sizifunikira, mosasamala kanthu za momwe tingawonekere zoyenera kapena zokometsera kwa wina ndi mzake, kapena, makamaka, kwa omwe ali pafupi nafe.