Pulumutsani mkuntho: mungamvetse bwanji kuti sizinthu zonse zomwe zatayika kwa banja lanu?

“M’chisoni ndi chimwemwe,” tonsefe timachita zinthu mosiyana. Koma khalidwe lathu ndi limene limachititsa kuti banja lathu liziyenda. Ngati tikumana pamodzi kuti tithane ndi mavuto, ndiye kuti titha kupitiliza ubale wathu ndikuupanga mozama kuposa kale. Koma ngati tikuyenera kumenyana pafupifupi nthawi zonse, ngati mabalawo ali ozama kwambiri ndipo alipo ambiri, ngakhale mtima wolimba kwambiri komanso wachikondi umakhala pachiwopsezo chophwanya zovutazo.

Mabanja ambiri akulimbana ndi mavuto awo. Ndipo ngakhale atatopa, amayesetsa kuti asataye mtima kuti maganizo amene anawayendera abwereranso kwa iwo.

Matenda aubwana, kutayika kwa ntchito ndi mikangano yantchito, kutaya mimba, mavuto ndi makolo okalamba - zingawonekere kwa ife kuti izi sizidzatha. Zovuta zimatha kugwirizanitsa awiri, koma ngati moyo wanu uli ndi zovuta zotere, mutha kuyiwalana ndikungokhalira kuchedwa.

Anthu okwatirana omwe amakhala pamodzi, ngakhale kuti pali mphamvu zochepa zowonjezera maubwenzi, ndi omwe amalimbikitsidwa kwambiri. Sangasiye zinthu momwe zilili, koma saganizira n’komwe zothetsa chibwenzicho, akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi waubwenzi Randy Gunther.

Kumvetsetsa kuti akuyandikira kumapeto akuwoneka kuti akuwapatsa mphamvu zomaliza, katswiriyo amakhulupirira. Ndipo izi zikukamba za mphamvu zawo zamkati ndi kudzipereka kwa wina. Koma tingamvetse bwanji ngati tingapulumutse ubalewo ndikutuluka muzosintha zingapo, kapena kwachedwa kwambiri?

Randy Gunther amapereka mafunso 12 kuti ayankhe kuti awone ngati banja lanu liri ndi mwayi.

1. Kodi mumamvera chisoni mnzanuyo?

Kodi mungamve bwanji mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akadwala? Bwanji ngati mkazi wachotsedwa ntchito? Moyenera, onse awiri, poyankha funsoli, ayenera kuda nkhawa ndi winayo pongoganiza za chinthu choterocho.

2. Ngati wokondedwa wanu wakusiyani, mudzamva chisoni kapena kumasuka?

Nthawi zina zimaoneka kwa ife kuti sitingathenso kulekerera zoipa zonse zomwe timalandira mu chiyanjano. Mwinamwake, poyankha funso ili, ena potsiriza amavomereza okha moona mtima: zidzakhala zosavuta kwa iwo ngati mkaziyo mwadzidzidzi "asowa". Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, ngati muwafunsa kuti aganizire za tsogolo lakutali, malo opumulirako adzatengedwa ndi ululu wowona mtima wa imfa ya wokondedwa.

3. Kodi mungamve bwino ngati mutasiya zomwe zidachitika kale?

Anthu ocheza nawo, ana pamodzi, kupeza zinthu, miyambo, zokonda… Kodi mungamve bwanji ngati mutasiya zinthu zakale?

4. Kodi mukuganiza kuti mungakhale bwino popanda wina ndi mnzake?

Amene ali pafupi kupatukana ndi mnzawo nthawi zambiri sangathe kudziwa ngati akuthawa moyo wakale, wonyansa kapena akupitabe ku chinthu chatsopano ndi cholimbikitsa. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuyankha funsoli ngati simukudziwa momwe "mungayenerere" bwenzi latsopano m'moyo wanu.

5. Kodi pali madontho akuda m'mbuyomu omwe simungajambule?

Zimachitika kuti m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo adachita zachilendo, ndipo ngakhale atayesetsa kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wake aiwale zomwe zidachitika ndikupita patsogolo, nkhaniyi sinachotsedwe m'maganizo. Izi, choyamba, zokhudzana ndi chiwembu, komanso za malonjezo ena osweka (osamwa mowa, kusiya mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kuthera nthawi yochuluka ku banja, ndi zina zotero). Nthawi zoterozo zimapangitsa maunansi kukhala osakhazikika, kufooketsa unansi wa anthu okondana.

6. Kodi mumatha kuwongolera zomwe mumachita mukakumana ndi zoyambitsa zakale?

Anthu okwatirana amene akukumana ndi mavuto aakulu ndipo akhala nthawi yaitali akumenyera maubwenzi anganyalanyaze mawu ndi khalidwe lawo. Iye anangoyang'ana pa inu ndi «momwemo» kuyang'ana - ndipo inu nthawi yomweyo kuphulika, ngakhale iye sananenepo kanthu panobe. Zosokoneza zimayamba mwadzidzidzi, ndipo palibe amene angayang'ane momwe mkangano wina unayambira.

Ganizirani ngati simungathe kuchita mwachizolowezi kuti «zizindikiro»? Kodi simungathawe kunyumba mukangotuluka chisokonezo? Kodi mwakonzeka kuyang'ana njira zatsopano ndikukhala ndi udindo pazochita zanu, ngakhale zikuwoneka kuti mnzanuyo "amakukwiyitsani"?

7. Kodi pali malo oti museke ndi zosangalatsa muubwenzi wanu?

Kuseka ndi maziko olimba a ubale uliwonse wapamtima. Ndipo luso la nthabwala ndi "mankhwala" abwino kwambiri a zilonda zomwe timapwetekana wina ndi mzake. Kuseka kumathandiza kuthana ndi vuto lililonse, ngakhale zovuta kwambiri - ndithudi, malinga ngati sitinyoza komanso osalankhula mawu achipongwe omwe amapweteka wina.

Ngati mukusekabe nthabwala zomwe nonse mumamvetsetsa, ngati mutha kuseka mozama pa sewero lanthabwala, mutha kukondanabe.

8. Kodi muli ndi «bwalo la ndege lina'?

Ngakhale mutakhalabe osamala za malingaliro a wina ndi mzake ndikukonda wokondedwa wanu, ubale wakunja ndiwowopsa kwambiri pachibwenzi chanu. Tsoka ilo, chifundo, chizolowezi ndi ulemu sizingathe kupirira chiyeso cha chilakolako cha munthu watsopano. Ubale wanu wanthawi yayitali ukuwoneka wazimiririka poyembekezera chibwenzi chatsopano.

9. Kodi inu nonse muli ndi udindo pa zinthu zolakwika?

Tikamaimba mlandu wina ndikukana gawo lathu la udindo pazomwe zikuchitika pakati pathu, "tibaya mpeni pachibwenzi," katswiriyo ndi wotsimikiza. Amakumbutsa kuti kuyang'ana moona mtima pa zomwe mwathandizira pazomwe zawononga mgwirizano wanu ndikofunikira kuti mutetezeke.

10. Kodi mumakumana ndi mavuto?

Kodi mudakumanapo ndi zovuta mu ubale wakale? Kodi mumabwerera mwamsanga mukakumana ndi zovuta? Kodi mumadziona kuti ndinu okhazikika m'maganizo? Pamene mmodzi wa zibwenzi akukumana nthawi zovuta, iye mwachibadwa «atsamira» pa theka lake. Ndipo ngati muli ndi chidziwitso chofunikira ndipo mwakonzeka kubwereketsa pamavuto, izi zimalimbitsa kale kwambiri banja lanu, akukhulupirira Randy Gunther.

11. Kodi pali mavuto aliwonse m'moyo wanu omwe mwakonzeka kuthana nawo limodzi?

Nthawi zina ubale wanu umavutika ndi zochitika zakunja zomwe inu kapena mnzanuyo mulibe mlandu. Koma zochitika zakunja izi zitha "kuchepetsa chitetezo" cha kulumikizana kwanu, katswiri akuchenjeza. Mavuto azachuma, matenda a okondedwa, zovuta ndi ana - zonsezi zimatifooketsa m'malingaliro ndi m'zachuma.

Kuti mupulumutse ubale, muyenera kudziwa bwino zomwe zikuchitika kwa inu ndi mnzanu, komanso zomwe nonse awiri mungachite kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino. Chizoloŵezi chokhala ndi udindo wonse wothetsera mavuto chikhoza kukutsogolerani ku vuto lalikulu - osati banja lokha, komanso laumwini.

12. Kodi mukuyembekezera kukumana?

Yankho la funso limeneli nthawi zambiri limaulula kwambiri. Pamene tikumva zowawa, tidzafunafuna chithandizo ndi chitonthozo kwa awo amene ali pafupi ndi okondedwa kwa ife, akutero Randy Gunther. Ndipo ngakhale ngati, m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, tibwereranso kutali ndi winayo, n’kutheka kuti nthaŵi ina tidzayamba kunyong’onyeka ndikuyang’ana gulu lake.

Mukhoza kufunsa mafunso omwe ali pamwambawa osati kwa inu nokha, komanso kwa mnzanuyo. Ndipo machesi ambiri m'mayankho anu, m'pamenenso amakhala ndi mwayi woti kwa inu monga banja, si zonse zomwe zimatayika. Kupatula apo, funso lililonse la 12 limachokera ku uthenga wosavuta komanso womveka: "Sindikufuna kukhala popanda inu, chonde musataye mtima!", Randy Gunter akutsimikiza.

Za Katswiri: Randy Gunther ndi Katswiri wa Zamaganizo ndi Ubale Wachipatala.