Zamkatimu
Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani ngati palibe amene akuchifunanso? Kodi mungasangalale bwanji pamene palibe tsogolo lotsala? N’chifukwa chiyani zonsezi zinali choncho? Mafunso osayankhidwa amafunsidwa ndi aliyense nthawi ya moyo ikafika kumapeto. Choyambitsa chawo ndi vuto la zaka, zomwe sitidziwa pang'ono - vuto la ukalamba. Ndikoyenera kuvomereza kunyamuka komwe kukubwera ndikupeza cholinga kuti mupitirize kukondwera, akuti existential psychologist Elena Sapogova.
Vutoli nthawi zambiri limawonekera pazaka za 55-65, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti ambiri aife tidzakumana nazo. Ndi iko komwe, padziko lapansi pali okalamba ambiri.
Malire avutoli samalumikizidwa ndi njira zina zakuthupi, amadalira kwambiri moyo wathu - pazomwe zidachitika, zomwe tidagawana, zomwe tidasankha.
Kawirikawiri, malinga ngati zonse zikuyenda bwino - pali ntchito, ogwira nawo ntchito, abwenzi, ndipo tsiku lililonse lakonzedwa, malinga ngati pakufunika kudzuka ndikugwira ntchito - vutoli likusintha kosatha. Koma kodi zimenezi sizidzachitika liti? Nanga bwanji?
Magawo avuto
Kusintha kwadzidzidzi kwa moyo - nthawi zambiri kumagwirizanitsidwa ndi kupuma pantchito - ndi / kapena mndandanda wa zotayika za okondedwa, kukula kwa matenda - zonsezi zikhoza "kuyambitsa" mndandanda wa zowawa zomwe zimatsimikizira nthawi ya kusintha. Ndiziyani?
1. Fufuzani matanthauzo anuanu
Kupeza bwenzi, kuyamba banja, kudzizindikira nokha mu ntchito - ambiri a moyo wathu timayang'ana pa ntchito zimene zaikidwa pulogalamu yathu chikhalidwe. Timaona kuti tili ndi udindo winawake kudziko lakunja ndi kwa okondedwa athu. Ndipo pafupi ndi zaka za 60-65, mwadzidzidzi timapeza kuti anthu salinso ndi chidwi. Zikuoneka kuti: “Ndi zimenezotu, sindikufunanso inu. Ndinu mfulu. Kenako, ndekha. ”
Kutha kwa ntchito kumakhala chizindikiro chakusowa kwa ntchito. Kwa nthawi yoyamba, munthu amadzimva kuti watsala yekha. Palibenso ntchito zoti athetse. Palibe wina aliyense amene amasirira zimene wachita. Ndipo ngati simunachite chinachake, chabwino, zilibe kanthu. Tsopano munthu ayenera kusankha moyo wake ndikuganiza: kodi mukufuna kuchita nokha?
Kwa ambiri, izi zimakhala zovuta zosasinthika, chifukwa amagwiritsidwa ntchito kumvera zochitika zakunja. Koma moyo wamtsogolo udzapeza chisangalalo ndi tanthauzo kokha ngati inuyo mudzaudzaza ndi tanthauzo.
2. Landirani kusintha kwa malingaliro
Pofika zaka 60-65, munthu amakhala ndi "zopunthwitsa" kwambiri pa moyo: amawona nkhani zowonjezereka, zochitika, ndi zatsopano monga mlendo. Kumbukirani momwe mu chikondi chakale - "Spring sichidzabwera kwa ine."
Ndipo apa, palinso kumverera kuti zambiri sizilinso kwa ine - zonsezi zipata za intaneti, malo olipira. Munthu amafunsa funso: bwanji kukhala, kusintha, kuphunzira ndi kudziwa chinachake ngati ndatsala zaka 10 za moyo wanga? Sindikufunanso zonsezi.
Moyo umapita kumbali, si wa ine. Uku ndikumverera kwa chikhalidwe chochoka, cha nthawi ina - ndizomvetsa chisoni. Pang'onopang'ono, amalumikizana pang'ono ndi zenizeni zatsopano - zokhazo zomwe zidasonkhanitsidwa kale.
Ndipo izi zimatembenuza munthu kuchoka pamalingaliro kupita ku zochitika zakale, kubwerera ku zakale. Amamvetsa kuti aliyense akupita njira ina. Ndipo iye sadziwa momwe angatembenukire kumeneko ndipo, chofunika kwambiri, sakufuna kutaya nthawi ndi khama pa izi. Ndipo kotero izo zimakhala, monga izo zinali, kunja kwa nthawi.
3. Landirani moyo wanu ngati mapeto
Kulingalira dziko lomwe likanakhalapo popanda ine - popanda malingaliro anga, zofuna, ntchito - ndi ntchito yovuta. Kwa zaka zambiri, moyo unkawoneka wodzaza ndi mwayi: Ndidakali ndi nthawi! Tsopano tiyenera kukhazikitsa chimango, m'lingaliro lina - kufotokoza mzere wa mlengalenga wa moyo ndikuyang'ana pa izo. Palibenso kupyola malire a bwalo lamatsenga ili.
Mwayi wokhala ndi zolinga za nthawi yayitali umatha. Munthu amayamba kuzindikira kuti zinthu zina sizimatheka. Ngakhale ataona kuti angathe ndipo akufuna kusintha, ngakhale atakhala ndi luso komanso zolinga, ndiye kuti n’zosatheka kuchita chilichonse chimene ankafuna.
Zochitika zina sizidzachitika, tsopano motsimikiza. Ndipo izi zimabweretsa kumvetsetsa kuti moyo, kwenikweni, siwokwanira. Mtsinje udzapitirira kuyenda, koma sitidzakhalanso mmenemo. Pamafunika kulimba mtima kuti munthu akhale m’malo amene zinthu zambiri sizidzachitika.
Kufotokozera za nthawi, kudzichotsera tokha ku moyo womwe tidauzolowera, zomwe timakonda komanso komwe timakhala omasuka kuti tipeze malo ena - izi ndi ntchito zomwe mavuto okalamba amatibweretsera kuthetsa.
Kodi n'zotheka kukhala ndi moyo m'zaka zapitazi? Inde, koma apa, monga ntchito iliyonse yaumwini, simungathe kuchita popanda khama. Chimwemwe akakula zimadalira assertiveness - luso la munthu kuti asadalire zikoka zakunja ndi kuunika, paokha kuwongolera khalidwe lawo ndi kukhala ndi udindo.
Njira Zovomerezeka
Mwa njira zambiri, malingalirowa amaperekedwa kwa anthu oyandikana nawo - ana akuluakulu, abwenzi, komanso psychotherapist - mu ntchitoyi, munthu wachikulire amafunikira mwamsanga kuyang'ana kunja, kutentha, chidwi ndi kuvomereza.
1. Zindikirani kuti matanthauzo ambiri omwe ndimafuna kuzindikira adakwaniritsidwa. Ganizirani mbali zazikulu za moyo: zomwe mumafuna, zomwe mukuyembekezera, zomwe zidatheka, zomwe zidachitika, zomwe sizinachitike. Zindikirani kuti ngakhale zopambanazo zili zochepa, panthawi yomwe mudazizindikira, zinali ndi phindu kwa inu. Kumvetsetsa kuti mwakhala mukuchita zomwe mumafuna pamoyo kumathandiza kuthana ndi kutaya mtima.
2. Landirani zomwe munakumana nazo m'mbuyomu ngati zolondola. Nthawi zambiri okalamba amadandaula kuti: Ndinatanganidwa ndi chinthu chimodzi, koma sindinachite chinacho, ndinaphonya chinthu chofunika kwambiri!
Ndikofunikira kuthandiza munthu kuti aganizirenso mbali zoyipa za zomwe adakumana nazo (sanathe kuchita zinazake, adachita zoyipa, molakwika) ngati zomwe zingatheke pamikhalidwe yomwe adakhala. Ndipo sonyezani kuti simunachite, chifukwa munachita chinthu china, panthawiyo, chofunikira kwa inu. Ndipo zikutanthauza kuti chisankhocho chinali cholondola, chabwino kwambiri panthawiyo. Chilichonse chomwe chimapangidwa chimakhala chabwino.
3. Maulula matanthauzo owonjezera. Ngakhale munthu atakhala ndi moyo wosalira zambiri, amatha kuona matanthauzo ambiri mmenemo kuposa mmene iye amaonera. Kupatula apo, nthawi zambiri timapeputsa zomwe tachita. Mwachitsanzo, munthu wina wachikulire anati: Ndinali ndi banja, mwana mmodzi, wachiwiri, ndipo ndinakakamizika kupeza ndalama m’malo mokhala waluso kapena kupanga ntchito.
Wokondedwa wokondedwa akhoza kufotokoza: mverani, munayenera kusankha. Munasankha banja lanu - munapatsa ana mwayi wokula ndi kukula, munapulumutsa mkazi wanu kuti asapite kuntchito ndikumupatsa mwayi wokhala ndi nthawi yochuluka kunyumba, monga momwe amafunira. Inu nokha, pamodzi ndi ana, mudapanga ndikudzipezera nokha zinthu zambiri zatsopano ...
Munthu amaganiziranso zomwe zinamuchitikira, amawona kusinthasintha kwake ndikuyamba kuyamikira zomwe ankakhala.
4. Onani ntchito zatsopano. Timayandama malinga ngati timvetsetsa bwino lomwe chifukwa chimene timakhalira. Izi zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kwa munthu yemwe alibe banja, zidzukulu, ndipo ntchito yatha. “Kwa ine ndekha” ndi “chifukwa cha ine ndekha” zimabwera patsogolo.
Ndipo apa kachiwiri muyenera "kukumba" m'mbuyomu ndikukumbukira: zomwe mumafuna kuchita, koma simunagwirepo, mulibe nthawi, mulibe mwayi - ndipo tsopano pali nyanja. iwo (makamaka chifukwa cha intaneti). Aliyense ali ndi zake "chifukwa chiyani ndikufunika izi".
Wina ali ndi mndandanda wa mabuku osawerengeka, wina ali ndi chikhumbo choyendera malo enaake, wachitatu ali ndi chikhumbo chodzala mtengo wa apulo wamitundu yosiyanasiyana ndikudikirira zipatso zoyamba. Kupatula apo, timapanga zisankho zing'onozing'ono moyo wathu wonse, kukana chimodzi mokomera chinzake, ndipo china chake chimakhala chokwera.
Ndipo mu ukalamba, zonsezi "mwina", "mwinamwake pambuyo pake" zimakhala zothandiza. Chimodzi mwa izo ndi kuphunzira, kuphunzira zatsopano. Panopa palibenso maganizo ophunzirira kuti apeze ntchito ndikupeza ndalama. Tsopano mutha kuphunzira zomwe zili zosangalatsa kwambiri. Malingana ngati pali chidwi, chidzakupangitsani kuyenda.
5. Lankhulani za m’mbuyo. Ana achikulire ayenera kulankhula mochuluka momwe angathere ndi munthu wachikulire ponena za moyo wake wakale.
Ngakhale atakuuzani za ubwana wanu kwa nthawi ya zana, muyenerabe kumvetsera ndikufunsa mafunso: Kodi munamva bwanji? Mumaganiza chiyani? Munachita bwanji ndi kuluza? Kodi ndi zovuta ziti zazikulu zomwe zidasintha pamoyo wanu? Nanga bwanji za kupambana? Kodi anakulimbikitsani bwanji kuchita zinthu zatsopano?
Mafunso amenewa adzalola munthu m'ma flashbacks kuti asayende panjira yomenyedwa, koma kuti awonjezere malingaliro awo pa zomwe zinachitika.
6. Wonjezerani mahorizoni. Makolo okalamba kaŵirikaŵiri sakhulupirira zokumana nazo zatsopano. Ntchito yaikulu kwa adzukulu: kukhala pafupi ndi iwo ndikuyesera kunena zomwe zimawasangalatsa, kufotokoza, kusonyeza pa zala zawo, kuyesa kudziwitsa munthu wachikulire ku moyo umene umachoka m'manja mwake, ndipo, ngati n'kotheka, kuthandizira kupita. kupitirira malire a umunthu wake.
7. Gonjetsani mantha. Mwina ichi ndiye chinthu chovuta kwambiri - kupita nokha kumalo ochitira zisudzo kapena kudziwe, kujowina gulu linalake. Mantha ndi tsankho ziyenera kuthetsedwa. Zinthu zabwino zonse m'moyo zimayamba ndikugonjetsa. Timakhala motalika pamene tikugonjetsa inertia yosachita chinachake.
Bwerani ndi zifukwa zanu: Sindidzapita kudziwe ndekha - ndipita ndi mdzukulu wanga kukasangalala. Ndivomerezana ndi atsikana anzanga kuti ayende pakiyi, kuti alembetse pamodzi situdiyo, komwe amajambula ndikuvina. Pamene tikukula, m'pamenenso timayenera kupanga moyo wathu.
Ndi liti pamene tinganene kuti vutoli latha? Pamene munthu atenga anapatsidwa: inde, ine ndakalamba, ine ndikuchoka, kupanga malo kwa mibadwo yatsopano. Mu psychology, izi zimatchedwa "universalization", ndiko kuti, kumverera kwa kudziphatikiza ndi dziko lapansi. Ndiyeno, pofika zaka 75, kumvetsetsa kwatsopano ndi kuvomereza kumabwera: Ndinakhala moyo wanga mwaulemu ndipo tsopano ndikhoza kuchoka ndi ulemu. Zonse zikhala bwino popanda ine.