Zamkatimu
Lilia sanamusiye Ophélie kuyambira pomwe adabwerera kugawo laling'ono " chifukwa onse amakonda madiresi opota, ma puzzles ndi chokoleti chotentha! ”. Gaspard ndi Théo aganiza zokumana kumapeto kwa masana pabwalo kuti azisewera ndikugawana zokhwasula-khwasula. “ Chifukwa anali iye, chifukwa ndinali ine! Chiganizo chokongola ichi chochokera ku Montaigne chonena za ubwenzi wake waukulu wa La Boétie chimagwiranso ntchito pa maubwenzi apamtima omwe ana ang'onoang'ono amapanga pakati pawo. Inde mabwenzi amwana amabadwa pafupifupi zaka 3, nthaka imene iwo adzakula bwino anakonza bwino pamaso, chifukwa chirichonse chimayamba kuyambira nthawi ya moyo wa mwana zikomo kwa kucheza ndi akuluakulu amene amamusamalira, makolo, osamalira ana, akuluakulu - makolo ... Monga matenda zamaganizo. Daniel Coum akufotokoza kuti: “Pakusinthanitsa mawu, masewera, kulumikizana, kuyang'ana, chisamaliro, mwana amaunjikana m'makumbukidwe ake amthupi ndi m'maganizo akulankhulana komwe kungapangitse ubale wake ndi ena. Ngati maunansi amenewa ali osangalatsa ndi kum’patsa chikhutiro, adzawafunafuna. Ngati zokumana nazo izi zili zoyipa ndikumupangitsa kusapeza bwino, kukangana kapena kuda nkhawa, amapewa kusinthanitsa, sadzakhala wochezeka komanso wofunitsitsa kufikira ena.“. ndichifukwa chake nyimbo, nyimbo zoyimba, kukumbatira ndizofunikira kwambiri za mwana wanu. Pafupifupi miyezi 8-10, khanda limazindikira za ego komanso za omwe si ine, amamvetsetsa kuti winayo, makamaka amayi ake, akhoza kuphonya, amakumana ndi zomwe zimatchedwa "Nkhawa za mwezi wa 8”. Ndipo kuti athetse kusautsidwa kumeneku kwa kulekana, akuyamba kuganiza kuti wokondedwayo palibe m'mutu mwake, kupanga chithunzithunzi chamalingaliro ake. Pambuyo pa chaka choyamba, khanda loikidwa pafupi ndi mwana wina lidzamukonda, yesetsani kumugwira ndi manja ake, mwina kumuluma kuti asonyeze kuti amakonda mnzakeyo komanso kuti sakufuna. mlekeni apite.
Ubale pakati pa ana: kusinthanitsa koyamba kwa minofu
Chidwi chake chimaphatikizidwa ndi nkhanza chifukwa alibe mphamvu zotha kukwanitsa "chinthu chomwe amamukonda". Kukankha, kumenyetsa, kukoka tsitsi lanu… Ziwonetsero “zachiwawa” zonsezi ndi zongofuna kulowa muubwenzi, kudzutsa anthu.
Kuyambira miyezi 18, amakhala wodziyimira pawokha wa psychomotor ndikutha kukhala kulekana ndi chitetezo chokwanira kuti ayambe kukonda wina. Choyamba, atachita chidwi ndi mtundu wotere wa iyemwini, mwanayo amamuwona, amamuwona akusewera, amakopera mayendedwe ake. Kusewera mbali ndi mbali kumapangitsa aliyense kulemeretsa ndikukulitsa masewerawa, potenga malingaliro atsopano ndikuyang'ana mwachidule mnansi. Ndi chiyambi cha masewera pakati pa ana ndi cronyism. Mawu a munthu wamkulu n'kofunika kutsagana ndi zoyamba zoyesayesa nthawi zina kwambiri minofu kukhudzana, m'pofunika kufotokoza, kutchula aliyense dzina lake ndi kufotokoza kuti wina akufuna kusewera naye, koma sadziwa mmene. muwuze iye. Simunakwanitse zaka 2, kubangula chidole cha bwenzi lanu ndi njira yanthawi zonse yomuwonetsa chidwi chomwe muli nacho mwa iye. TMalingana ngati palibe choopsa, ndi bwino kuti wamkulu aziyang'anitsitsa patali ndipo mulole "wachiwembu" ndi "wochita chipongwe" apite kumapeto kwa kusinthanitsa, chifukwa ndi momwe onse awiri adzaphunzirira kuganizira za winayo, kudzitsimikizira okha, kuika malire ake, kukambirana, mwachidule, kuyanjana. . Tikuwonanso kuti mphindi yamavuto nthawi zambiri imatsogolera kukukonzekera. Kusinthanitsa koyamba kumabadwa mwachisawawa, kumawonjezeka mofulumira koma kumapitirira pang'ono. Awa si masewera opambana, okhala ndi malamulo, chiyambi ndi mapeto. Izi ndizochitika mwamwayi zomwe, pang'onopang'ono, mwana aliyense adzapeza chisangalalo pamaso pa anzake. Koma ali ndi zaka 2, nthawi ya chidwi kwa winayo imakhalabe yochepa. Pambuyo pa gawo la kuseka kapena mkangano, popanda chenjezo, onse amapita kukasewera payekha, aliyense akulota m'kamwa mwake. Monga momwe Daniel Coum akunenera kuti: “ Mwanayo ayenera kudzimva kukhala wotetezeka mokwanira kuti akhazikitse ubale wamtendere, wokoma mtima, wamtendere komanso wodekha ndi mnzakeyo, osamuyesa ngati chiwopsezo. Ana omwe ali ndi nkhawa kwambiri za kupatukana m'malo mwake amachita mwaukali kwa winayo kuti amusunge ndipo angakonde kuwononga mnzakeyo m'malo momutaya. Izi ndi zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu achikulire azikhudzidwa. »
Kuyambira zaka 2, ana amapeza chisangalalo cha "kusewera limodzi". Kudziwa bwino chilankhulo kudzawalola kuwongolera njira yawo yolumikizirana ndi ena. M’malo momukankha kapena kumukoka pamanja, iwo tsopano amati: “Tiyeni! “. Pamene chinenerocho chikulemeretsedwa, kuyanjana kowonjezereka kumapita ku njira yowonjezereka yosewera, kumene kupanga, kulingalira ndi "kunamizira" kumatenga malo ochulukirapo.
Zaka 2-3: nthawi ya mabwenzi enieni mwa ana
Mwana wa miyezi 18 akafika ku nazale m'mawa, amapita kwa wamkulu yemwe amamuthandizira ... Pamene ali ndi zaka 2-3, amapita kwa abwenzi ake, ngakhale, ndithudi, kukhalapo kwa munthu wamkulu nthawi zonse kumakhala maziko a chitetezo, chomwe chili chofunika kwambiri kwa iye, ndi masewero omwe adzayambitsa ndi anzake. Wawoloka chinthu chofunika kwambiri! Mwanayo akamakula, m’pamenenso amazindikira bwino za iye yekha ndi mnzakeyo, m’pamenenso amasiyanitsa bwino mwana aliyense ndipo m’pamenenso mabwenzi amakula n’kukhala mabwenzi enieni.
Ubwenzi, woona, umapezeka mwa ana azaka zapakati pa 3. Kulowa kusukulu ya nazale ndi nthawi yofunika kwambiri, pamene ana asukulu amaphunzira kuvina ndi kuimba, koma koposa zonse kuti azicheza. Mwana aliyense amafuna choyamba kukhala wokondedwa wa mphunzitsi, koma popeza izi sizingatheke, amatembenukira kwa anzake ndi atsikana, ndipo amawona ana awiri kapena atatu omwe amakonda kusewera nawo. Mabwenzi oyamba amapangidwa ndipo kukana koyamba kwa mtunduwo " Iye, sindimamukonda, sindikufuna kusewera naye! ” nawonso. Nthawi zina abwenzi amasankha okha mu chithunzi chagalasi, malinga ndi kufanana kwawo.
Nthawi zina, ndi kuphatikizika kowonjezera komwe kumakopa, amanyazi ndi amwano, wolota maloto okoma ndi wongopita, wolankhula komanso wanzeru kwambiri… Mgwirizano wodabwitsawu umalola kutsegulira ndipo makolo ayenera kuvomereza zosankha zawo mwaubwenzi. ana, osasankha yemwe ali chibwenzi choyenera kapena chibwenzi choyenera chifukwa ali ndi kalembedwe koyenera ndi maonekedwe abwino! Ufulu wa mwanayo m’kalasi umasweka ndi miyezo ya banja lake, popanda tsankho, ndipo zimenezo n’zimene zili m’chidwi chake!
Kuyambira zaka 4 mpaka 6, mabwenzi amakhala olemera komanso olemera. Ana amakhala ndi zokambirana zawo zoyambirira ndi anzawo. Amagawana zinsinsi, kugawana malingaliro awo pa chikondi, makolo, imfa… Masewerawa amakhala ndi zochitika zambiri! Pakati pa zaka zapakati pa 5 ndi 6, masewera otsanzira amalola atsikana ndi anyamata kukhala ndi maubwenzi omwe adzachita nawo pambuyo pake. Timasewera ambuye, amayi / abambo, dokotala, kalonga ndi mwana wamfumu, ngwazi zapamwamba, kupita kuntchito ... Anzanu amakhala mfundo zofunika kuzifotokozera komanso zolimbikitsa. Amathandiza kulowa m'madera omwe munthu sangayese kuwoloka popanda iwo, amalola kusiya chikwa cha makolo, kudzimasula yekha ndi kupeza wina. Ndili m’mbuyo ndi m’mbuyo pakati pa nyumba ndi kunja, maumboni a banja ndi anzako, pamene mwana aliyense amamanga malingaliro ake, chilengedwe chake ndi chizindikiritso chake. Pamsinkhu umenewu, ang’onoang’ono amagwira ntchito motsatirana kusiyana ndi m’magulu chifukwa zimawavuta kupanga ubale weniweni ndi anthu angapo. Nthawi zambiri amacheza ndi ana aamuna kapena akazi okhaokha chifukwa bwenzi lapamtima (mnzawo wapamtima) amabwera kudzalimbitsa chidziwitso chawo chakugonana. Chifukwa chake kufunikira kwawiri, wa alter ego, yemwe ndingathe kumudalira, yemwe samabwereza zinsinsi, yemwe amapereka mautumiki ndi omwe ali amphamvu kwambiri. Zimakhala zolimbikitsa kwambiri kwa mwana yemwe nthawi zonse amadzimva kuti ali pachiwopsezo m'dziko la akulu.
Konzani luso lanu lachiyanjano
Chimakula kwambiri, m'pamenenso chuma chanu chimafuna kusewera ndi ena, ndikukhala ndi abwenzi ndi atsikana. Kudziwa kupanga maubwenzi ndi ena, ana kapena akuluakulu, ndi zomwe shrinks zimatcha relational intelligence kapena social intelligence. Nzeru zamtundu umenewu, zomwe n’zofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino ndi ena ndiponso kuti muzichita zinthu mwanzeru mukadzakula, zimadalira makhalidwe osiyanasiyana amene mungawalimbikitse. Choyamba, kutha kuzindikira ndi kumvetsa maganizo a ena ndi kuwasiyanitsa ndi iwo eni. Kuti muthandize mwana wanu kukulitsa QS (social quotient), mphunzitseni kuzindikira zochita za ena. Chezani naye nthawi zambiri, mulimbikitseni kuti amvetsere ndikufunsa mafunso oyenerera, kusiyanitsa zochita ndi ziweruzo za ena, kuvomereza kuti ndizosiyana ndi zake. Ngati mwana woteroyo adamuseka, mufotokozere chifukwa chake anthu ena amaseka anzawo, chifukwa amawopa kusekedwa, chifukwa sadzidalira ...
Ndiponso mphunzitseni kukhala woleza mtima, kuchedwetsa chikhutiro chake m’malo mofuna “zonse pompano”! Ana amene amadziŵa kudikira ndi osagonja ku zilakolako zawo amakhala okhoza kuyanjana ndi ena ndi odzidalira kuposa ena. Ngati mwana woteroyo akufuna kumulanda chidole chake, muuzeni kuti achisinthanitse ndi chake m’malo mongokana kotheratu ndi kuika pachiswe ndewu. Kusinthanitsa ndi njira yabwino yopezera mabwenzi. Kumbali inayi, musamupangitse kubwereketsa zoseweretsa zake, kugawana ndikukhala abwino kwa ena chifukwa mukuganiza kuti zili bwino! Iye akadali wamng'ono kwambiri kuti angamvere chisoni! Kuti tidziwe wina ndi mnzake komanso kukhala wothandiza, ndikofunikira kukhala payekhapayekha kuti musawope kutengeka ndi winayo. Muyenera kudikirira mpaka nthawi ya NO itatha musanapemphe mwana kuti abwereke zoseweretsa zake, apo ayi akumva ngati akutaya gawo lake. Mwanayo si munthu wamkulu, ndipo si bwino kumuumiriza makhalidwe abwino omwe nthawi zambiri sitimadzilemekeza tokha!
Monga Daniel Coum akufotokozera: " Pamaso pa zaka 3-4, chitetezo chachikulu cha mwana chimamangidwa pa lingaliro lakuti iye ndi wapadera pamaso pa makolo ake, kuti iye yekha ndi wofunika. Nthaŵi zonse akafunsidwa kuti adziiŵale kaamba ka ubwino wa mnzakeyo, amaona kuti sakondedwa ndiponso kuti mnzakeyo ndi wofunika kwambiri pamaso pa makolo kapena aphunzitsi. Malinga ndi iye, amavutika ndi kuwonongeka kowononga kwambiri pamene yemwe m'dzina lake amafunsidwa kuti apereke zidole zake, ndi wamng'ono kuposa iye. Chimene amamvetsetsa n’chakuti n’kosangalatsa kwambiri kukhala khanda kusiyana ndi kukhala wamkulu, zimene akuluakulu amakonda zing’onozing’ono. Koma chodabwitsa n’chakuti, akuluakulu amamufunsa kuti akhale wamtali popanda kumusonyeza kuti kukhala wamtali kuli ndi ubwino ndi maufulu amene angam’pangitse kufuna kukula. »
Maphunziro pakugawana sakakamizidwa. Ngati tikakamiza mwana kuchitira mnzake chifundo msanga kwambiri, ngati tamuuza kuti sali wabwino kapena, choipitsitsa, ngati timulanga, iye amatsatira malamulo kuti akondweretse makolo ake, chifukwa amagonjera. Kusaganizira ena, chifundo chenicheni, ndiko kunena kuti kukhoza kudziika m'malingaliro a wina ndikuchita mogwirizana ndi zomwe akuyembekezera, sikuli. sizingatheke asanakwanitse zaka 6-7, zaka za kulingalira. Mwanayo ali ndi makhalidwe ophatikizana a makolo, amadziwa zabwino ndi zoipa, ndipo ndi iye amene amasankha kukhala wabwino ndi kugawana nawo.
Ubwenzi muubwana: bwanji ngati mwana wanga alibe zibwenzi?
Mwana wanu wamkazi atangolowa m’kalasi mwam’funsa mafunso akuti: “Kodi munapeza mabwenzi?” Mayina awo ndi ndani? Makolo amafuna kuti ana awo akhale nyenyezi ya nazale ndi masiku obadwa kapena kamnyamata kodziwika kwambiri panthawi yopuma. Pokhapokha, ana onse sakhala ochezeka mofanana, ena ndi ozunguliridwa kwambiri, ena osadziwika bwino. M’malo moika chitsenderezo, m’pofunika kuzindikira “makhalidwe” a mwana wanu, kulemekeza mlingo wa kakulidwe kake ndi mkhalidwe wake. Kupanda kutero, timakhala pachiwopsezo chopanda phindu ndikupanga chotchinga.
Ndizofunika kwambiri masiku ano kukhala otchuka, koma palinso amantha, osungika, olota, omwe ali ochenjera komanso amakonda kusewera okha kapena awiriawiri. Ndiye ? Bwenzi kapena bwenzi ndi zokwanira! Itanani bwenzi lake lapamtima kuti adzasewere kumapeto kwa sabata. Limbikitsani mzimu wake watimu mwa kumlembetsa m’zochita zakunja (kuvina, judo, zisudzo, ndi zina zotero), zofunika kulola ana amanyazi kukhala ndi kamvekedwe kake osati ka kusukulu. Malamulo ndi osiyana, magulu ndi ang'onoang'ono… Masewera a board ndi abwino kuphunzira kuluza, kukhala pakati pa ena, ndikupanga timu yanu kupambana! Ndipo samalani ndi zilonda zoyamba zaubwenzi zomwe zingawapwetekedi. Chifukwa m'badwo wa mabwenzi enieni enieni ndi nthawi ya mabwenzi oyambirira zisoni. Osawaona mopepuka, mverani madandaulo awo ndipo muwasangalatse. Konzani zokhwasula-khwasula kuti zimuthandize kupanga abwenzi ena ...