Masewera omwe tonse timasewera. Maphunziro molingana ndi dongosolo la Eric Berne (D. Moss)

Kudalirika

Njira zamaganizidwe a Eric Berne athandiza anthu mamiliyoni ambiri padziko lonse lapansi! Kutchuka kwake pakati pa akatswiri a maganizo sikuli kocheperapo kwa Sigmund Freud, ndipo mphamvu ya njirayi yayamikiridwa ndi mazana masauzande a psychotherapists ku Ulaya, USA, ndi Australia kwa zaka zambiri. Chinsinsi chake ndi chiyani? Lingaliro la Berne ndi losavuta, lomveka bwino, lopezeka. Mkhalidwe uliwonse wamaganizidwe umasokonekera mosavuta m'zigawo zake, chomwe chimayambitsa vuto chimawululidwa, malingaliro amaperekedwa kuti asinthe ... Ndi bukhu lophunzitsira ili, kusanthula koteroko kumakhala kosavuta. Imapatsa owerenga maphunziro 6 ndi zolimbitsa thupi zingapo zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuphunzira momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito machitidwe a Eric Berne.

kulowa

Ngati simunapambane kapena simukusangalala, ndiye kuti mwagwa muzochitika za moyo wosapambana zomwe zimayikidwa pa inu. Koma pali njira yopulumukira!

Kuyambira pa kubadwa, muli ndi kuthekera kwakukulu kwa wopambana - munthu amene amatha kukwaniritsa zolinga zazikulu, kuchoka ku kupambana kupita ku kupambana, kumanga moyo wake malinga ndi zolinga zabwino kwambiri! Ndipo khalani okondwa nthawi yomweyo!

Osathamangira kumwetulira mokayikira, kuchotsa mawu awa, kapena mwachizolowezi kuganiza: “Inde, ndingatani…” Ndi zoonadi!

Kodi mukudabwa chifukwa chake simungathe kutero? Nchifukwa chiyani mukufuna chisangalalo, kupambana, kukhala ndi moyo wabwino kwa inu nokha - koma m'malo mwake mukuwoneka kuti mukugunda khoma losatheka: ziribe kanthu zomwe mukuchita, zotsatira zake siziri zomwe mungakonde? N’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zina zimaoneka kwa inu kuti mwatsekeredwa m’malo opanda njira yotulukiramo? N’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zonse mumafunika kupirira zinthu zimene simukufuna kupirira n’komwe?

Yankho ndi losavuta: inu, motsutsana ndi chifuniro chanu, munagwera muzochitika za moyo wosachita bwino zomwe zinayikidwa pa inu. Zili ngati khola limene munathera molakwa kapena mwa kufuna kwa munthu wina. Mumamenya nkhondo mu khola ili, ngati mbalame yotsekeredwa m’khola, kulakalaka ufulu, koma simuona njira yotulukira. Ndipo pang'onopang'ono zimayamba kuwoneka kwa inu kuti selo ili ndilokhalo lotheka kwa inu.

Ndipotu, pali njira yotulukira mu selo. Ali pafupi kwambiri. Sizovuta kupeza momwe zingawonekere. Chifukwa chinsinsi cha kholachi chakhala kale m'manja mwanu. Simunamvetsere fungulo ili ndipo simunaphunzire kugwiritsa ntchito.

Koma mafanizo okwanira. Tiye tione kuti ndi khola lotani komanso mmene munalowamo.

Ingovomerezani: sitidzamva chisoni kwambiri ndi izi. Si inu nokha. Umu ndi momwe anthu ambiri amakhala mu khola. Tonse mwanjira ina timagwera mu ubwana wathu, pamene, pokhala ana, sitingathe kumvetsa mozama zomwe zikuchitika kwa ife.

M’zaka zoyambirira za ubwana — kutanthauza, asanakwanitse zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi — mwanayo amaphunzitsidwa kuti n’zosatheka kukhala chimene iye ali. Saloledwa kukhala yekha, koma m'malo mwake, malamulo apadera amaikidwa ndi omwe ayenera "kusewera" kuti avomerezedwe mu chilengedwe chake. Malamulowa nthawi zambiri amafalitsidwa osati ndi mawu - osati mothandizidwa ndi mawu, malangizo ndi malingaliro, koma mothandizidwa ndi chitsanzo cha makolo ndi maganizo a ena, kumene mwanayo amamvetsetsa zomwe zili zabwino kwa iwo mu khalidwe lake ndi zomwe ziri. zoipa.

Pang’ono ndi pang’ono, mwanayo amayamba kuyerekezera khalidwe lake ndi zofuna ndi zofuna za ena. Amayesa kuwasangalatsa, kukwaniritsa zomwe akuyembekezera. Izi zimachitika ndi ana onse - amakakamizika kuti agwirizane ndi mapulogalamu a akuluakulu. Zotsatira zake, timayamba kutsatira zochitika zomwe sitinapange. Kuchita nawo miyambo ndi machitidwe omwe sitingathe kudziwonetsera tokha ngati munthu payekha - koma titha kungonamizira, kuwonetsa malingaliro abodza.

Ngakhale titakula, timakhalabe ndi chizolowezi cha maseŵera otikakamiza kuchita ubwana wathu. Ndipo nthawi zina sitimvetsetsa kuti sitikhala ndi moyo. Sitikwaniritsa zokhumba zathu - koma timangochita pulogalamu ya makolo.

Anthu ambiri amasewera masewera mosazindikira, kutsatira chizolowezi chosiya moyo wawo weniweni ndikusintha moyo ndi womulera.

Masewera oterowo sali kanthu koma zitsanzo zokhazikitsidwa zomwe munthu amakoka maudindo omwe sali achilendo kwa iye, m'malo mokhala yekha ndikudziwonetsera yekha ngati umunthu wapadera, wosayerekezeka.

Nthawi zina masewera amatha kumva kukhala othandiza komanso ofunikira - makamaka ngati wina aliyense akuchita mwanjira imeneyi. Zikuwoneka kwa ife kuti ngati tikhala motere, tidzatha kulowa mgulu la anthu ndikupambana.

Koma ichi ndi chinyengo. Ngati timasewera magemu omwe malamulo ake si athu, ngati tipitiliza kuchita masewerawa ngakhale sitikufuna, ndiye kuti sitingapambane, titha kungoluza. Inde, tonsefe tinaphunzitsidwa muubwana kuchita maseŵera amene amatsogolera ku kuluza. Koma musamafulumire kuimba mlandu aliyense. Makolo anu ndi osamalira anu alibe mlandu. Ili ndiye tsoka lofala la anthu. Ndipo tsopano inu mukhoza kukhala amene mudzakhale m’gulu la anthu oyamba kufunafuna chipulumutso ku tsoka limeneli. Choyamba kwa ine ndekha, ndiyeno kwa ena.

Masewera awa omwe tonsefe timasewera, maudindo awa ndi masks omwe timabisala kumbuyo, amachokera ku mantha aumunthu omwe timakhala tokha, otseguka, owona mtima, owona, mantha omwe amachokera ku ubwana. Munthu aliyense paubwana amapyola mu kumverera kwa kukhala wopanda chothandizira, wofooka, wocheperapo kwa akuluakulu mu chirichonse. Izi zimabweretsa kudzikayikira komwe anthu ambiri amakhala nako m'miyoyo yawo. Ziribe kanthu momwe angakhalire, amadzimva kukhala osatetezeka, ngakhale ngati sakuvomereza kwa iwo eni! Zobisika mozama kapena zoonekeratu, zodziwa kapena ayi, kusatsimikizika kumayambitsa mantha aumwini, kuopa kulankhulana momasuka - ndipo chifukwa chake, timachita masewera, masks ndi maudindo omwe amapanga maonekedwe a kulankhulana ndi maonekedwe a moyo. , koma sangathe kubweretsa chimwemwe kapena chipambano, kapena kukhutitsidwa.

Kodi nchifukwa ninji anthu ambiri amakhala m’mkhalidwe wobisika uwu wa kusatsimikizirika kobisika, ndipo amakakamizika kubisala kuseri kwa maudindo, maseŵera, zophimba nkhope, m’malo mokhaladi moyo? Osati chifukwa kusatsimikizika uku sikungatheke. Ikhoza ndipo iyenera kugonjetsedwa. Kungoti anthu ambiri samachita zimenezo. Iwo amaganiza kuti pali mavuto enanso ofunika kwambiri pa moyo wawo. Pamene vuto ili ndilofunika kwambiri. Chifukwa chakuti chosankha chake chimaika m’manja mwathu chinsinsi cha ufulu, chinsinsi cha moyo weniweni, chinsinsi cha chipambano ndi chinsinsi cha ife tokha.

Eric Bern - wofufuza wanzeru yemwe adapeza zogwira mtima, zogwira mtima kwambiri komanso nthawi yomweyo zida zosavuta komanso zopezeka zobwezeretsera chikhalidwe chamunthu - chinsinsi cha wopambana, munthu waulere, wopambana, wozindikira mwachangu m'moyo.

Eric Berne (1910-1970) anabadwira ku Canada, ku Montreal, m'banja la dokotala. Nditamaliza maphunziro a zachipatala ku yunivesite, iye anakhala dokotala wa mankhwala, psychotherapist ndi psychoanalyst. Kupambana kwakukulu kwa moyo wake ndi kukhazikitsidwa kwa nthambi yatsopano ya psychotherapy, yomwe inkatchedwa kusanthula kwazinthu (mayina ena amagwiritsidwanso ntchito - kusanthula kwazinthu, kusanthula kwazinthu).

ndikupeleka - izi ndi zomwe zimachitika panthawi yokhudzana ndi anthu, pamene uthenga umachokera kwa wina, ndi kuyankha kwa wina.

Momwe timalankhulirana, momwe timalankhulirana - kaya timadziwonetsera tokha, timadziwonetsera tokha kapena kubisala kuseri kwa chigoba, gawo, kusewera masewera - pamapeto pake zimatengera momwe tachitira bwino kapena osapambana, kaya ndife okhutira ndi moyo kapena ayi, timamva kukhala omasuka kapena osowa. Dongosolo la Eric Berne lathandiza anthu ambiri kudzimasula okha ku maunyolo amasewera ndi zochitika za anthu ena ndikukhala iwo eni.

Mabuku odziwika kwambiri a Eric Berne, Games People Play ndi People Who Play Games, akhala ogulitsa padziko lonse lapansi, akudutsanso zambiri ndikugulitsa mamiliyoni.

Ntchito zake zina zodziwika bwino - "Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy", "Group Psychotherapy", "Introduction to Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis for the Uninitiated" - zimadzutsa chidwi chodabwitsa cha akatswiri onse ndi onse omwe ali ndi chidwi ndi psychology padziko lonse lapansi.

Ngati mukufuna kuthawa zochitika zomwe zakupatsani, khalani nokha, yambani kusangalala ndi moyo ndikupambana, bukuli ndi lanu. Zomwe zapezedwa mwanzeru za Eric Berne zaperekedwa pano makamaka pazochita zawo. Ngati mwawerenga mabuku a wolemba uyu, ndiye kuti mukudziwa kuti ali ndi zinthu zambiri zothandiza zongopeka, koma kusamalidwa kokwanira kumaperekedwa kuti muzichita ndikudziphunzitsa nokha. Zomwe sizosadabwitsa, chifukwa Eric Berne, pokhala katswiri wamaganizo, adawona kuti ntchito yothandiza ndi odwala ndi ntchito ya madokotala akatswiri. Komabe, akatswiri ambiri - otsatira ndi ophunzira Bern - bwinobwino ntchito pa chitukuko cha maphunziro ndi masewero olimbitsa thupi molingana ndi njira Berne, amene akhoza bwino ndi munthu aliyense payekha, popanda ngakhale kupita ku makalasi apadera psychotherapeutic.

Chidziwitso chofunikira kwambiri chokhudza chikhalidwe chaumunthu chomwe Eric Berne adatisiyira monga cholowa ndichofunika, choyamba, osati ndi akatswiri, koma ndi anthu wamba omwe akufuna kukhala osangalala, kumanga moyo wawo wopambana komanso wotukuka, kukwaniritsa zolinga zawo, amamva kuti mphindi iliyonse moyo wawo uli wodzaza ndi chisangalalo ndi tanthauzo. Buku lothandizali, pamodzi ndi kufotokozera mwatsatanetsatane za chidziwitso cha chidziwitso chopangidwa ndi Eric Berne, chikuphatikiza njira zabwino zomwe zimapangidwira kuti zitsimikizire kuti zomwe atulukira katswiri wamaganizo wamkulu zimalowa m'moyo wathu watsiku ndi tsiku ndikutipatsa zida zofunika kwambiri kuti tisinthe tokha ndi miyoyo yathu. zabwino.

Kodi sichomwe tonsefe timafuna - kukhala ndi moyo wabwino? Ichi ndicho chikhumbo chophweka, chofala komanso chachibadwa chaumunthu. Ndipo nthawi zina timasowa kutsimikiza, mphamvu ndi chikhumbo cha kusintha kwa izi, komanso chidziwitso chosavuta, chidziwitso, zida zomwe zingagwiritsidwe ntchito kusintha. Mupeza zida zonse zofunika pano - ndipo dongosolo la Eric Berne likhala gawo la moyo wanu kwa inu, zenizeni zanu zatsopano, zabwinoko, zokondwa kwambiri.

Kumbukirani: tonse timagwera mu ukapolo wamasewera ndi zochitika zomwe tapatsidwa - koma mutha ndipo muyenera kutuluka mu khola. Chifukwa masewera ndi zochitika zimangobweretsa kugonja. Akhoza kupereka chinyengo chakupita ku chipambano, koma pamapeto pake amatsogolerabe kulephera. Ndipo ndi munthu waufulu yekha amene wataya maunyolo amenewa ndi kukhala iye mwini amene angakhale wosangalaladi.

Mutha kutaya maunyolo awa, mutha kudzimasula nokha ndikubwera ku moyo wanu weniweni, wolemera, wokhutiritsa, wachimwemwe. Sikunachedwe kuchita! Kusintha kwabwinoko kudzachitika pamene mukudziŵa bwino nkhani za m’bukulo. Osadikirira chilichonse - yambani kusintha nokha ndi moyo wanu pompano! Ndipo lolani ziyembekezo za kupambana kwamtsogolo, chisangalalo, chisangalalo cha moyo zikulimbikitseni panjira iyi.

Phunziro 1

Muli yense wa ife mumakhala Mkulu, Mwana ndi Kholo

Kodi mukuwona kuti muzochitika zosiyanasiyana za moyo mumamva ndikuchita mosiyana?

Nthawi zina ndiwe munthu wamkulu, wodziimira payekha, wodzidalira komanso womasuka. Mumawunika bwino chilengedwe ndikuchitapo kanthu. Mumapanga zisankho zanu komanso kufotokoza momasuka. Mumachita zinthu mopanda mantha komanso osafuna kusangalatsa aliyense. Mutha kunena kuti pakali pano ndinu apamwamba kwambiri komanso abwino kwambiri. Izi zimakupatsani chisangalalo chachikulu ndi kukhutitsidwa ndi zomwe mumachita.

Izi zimachitika mukamagwira ntchito yomwe mumamva ngati katswiri kapena chinthu chomwe mumakonda komanso kuchita bwino. Izi zimachitika mukalankhula za mutu womwe mumaudziwa bwino komanso womwe umakusangalatsani. Izi zimachitika mukakhala mumkhalidwe wa chitonthozo chamkati ndi chitetezo - pamene simukufunikira kutsimikizira chirichonse kwa wina aliyense kapena kusonyeza mikhalidwe yanu yabwino, pamene palibe amene amakuyesani, oweruza, amakuyesani pamlingo woyenerera, pamene mungathe kukhala ndi moyo. ndi kukhala wekha, mfulu, wotseguka, momwe izo ziriri.

Koma mungakumbukirenso zochitika zina pamene mwadzidzidzi munayamba kuchita zinthu ngati mwana. Komanso, ndi chinthu chimodzi pamene mumadzilola nokha kusangalala, kuseka, kusewera ndi kupusitsa ngati mwana, mosasamala kanthu za msinkhu - izi nthawi zina ndizofunikira kwa munthu wamkulu aliyense, ndipo palibe cholakwika ndi izo. Koma ndi chinthu chinanso mukakhala mwana mosafuna kwanu. Winawake wakukhumudwitsani - ndipo mumayamba kudandaula ndikulira ngati mwana. Winawake adakuuzani zolakwa zanu mosamalitsa komanso mosamalitsa - ndipo mumadzilungamitsa ndi mawu amtundu wina waubwana. Zovuta zachitika - ndipo mukufuna kubisala pansi pa zophimba, kuzipiringa mu mpira ndikubisala kudziko lonse lapansi, monga momwe munachitira muli mwana. Munthu wofunika kwa inu amakuyang'anani mokuyesani, ndipo mumachita manyazi, kapena kuyamba kunyoza, kapena, mosiyana, kusonyeza kunyoza ndi kunyoza ndi maonekedwe anu onse - malingana ndi momwe munachitira muubwana ku khalidwe lotere la akuluakulu kwa inu.

Kwa akuluakulu ambiri, kugwera muubwana uku kumakhala kovuta. Mwadzidzidzi mumayamba kumva kuti ndinu wamng'ono komanso wopanda thandizo. Simuli mfulu, mwasiya kukhala nokha, mutataya mphamvu zanu zazikulu ndi chidaliro. Mumaona kuti mwakakamizika kuchita ntchitoyi mopanda kufuna kwanu, ndipo simukudziwa momwe mungayambitsirenso kudzidalira kwanu.

Ambiri aife timayesa kupewa udindo wa mwana pongochepetsa kuyanjana kwathu ndi anthu omwe amatikakamiza kuchita nawo ntchitoyi. Ndicho chifukwa chake anthu ambiri amayesa kuwonjezera mtunda pakati pa iwo ndi makolo awo. Koma izi sizithetsa vutoli, chifukwa m'malo mwa makolo, mwina abwana ena okhwima akuwonekera, kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wake amakayikira ngati mayi, kapena bwenzi lomwe mawu ake amamveka bwino - ndipo mwana yemwe amabisala anali pomwepo, akupanganso kuchita zinthu mwachibwana.

Zimachitika mwanjira ina - pamene munthu amagwiritsidwa ntchito podzipezera phindu pa udindo wa mwana. Amakhala ngati mwana wonyenga ena ndikupeza zomwe akufuna kwa iwo. Koma uku ndi mawonekedwe chabe a kupambana. Chifukwa munthu amatha kulipira mtengo wokwera kwambiri pamasewera oterowo - amataya mwayi wokula, kukula, kukhala wamkulu, munthu wodziimira payekha komanso munthu wokhwima.

Aliyense wa ife ali ndi hypostasis yachitatu - kulera ana. Munthu aliyense, kaya akhale ndi ana kapena ayi, nthawi ndi nthawi amachita zinthu mofanana ndi mmene makolo ake ankachitira. Ngati mumachita ngati kholo losamala komanso lachikondi - kwa ana, kwa anthu ena kapena kwa inu nokha, izi ndizolandiridwa. Koma ndichifukwa chiyani nthawi zina mumayamba mwadzidzidzi kudzudzula, kudzudzula, kudzudzula ena (ndipo mwinanso inunso)? Nchifukwa chiyani mumafunitsitsa kutsimikizira munthu kuti ndinu wolondola kapena kukakamiza maganizo anu? Nchifukwa chiyani mukufuna kukhota wina ku chifuniro chanu? N'chifukwa chiyani mumaphunzitsa, kumadzipangira malamulo anu komanso kumafuna kumvera? Chifukwa chiyani nthawi zina mumafuna kulanga wina (kapena mwina nokha)? Chifukwa ndi chisonyezero cha khalidwe la makolo. Umu ndi mmene makolo anu ankakuchitirani. Izi ndi momwe mumakhalira - osati nthawi zonse, koma panthawi yoyenera m'moyo wanu.

Anthu ena amaganiza kuti kuchita zinthu ngati kholo n’kumene kumatanthauza kukhala munthu wamkulu. Dziwani kuti izi sizowona konse. Mukamachita zinthu ngati kholo, mumamvera malangizo a makolo amene muli nawo. Zikutanthauza kuti simuli mfulu panthawiyi. Mumakwaniritsa zomwe mwaphunzitsidwa osaganizira kwenikweni ngati zili zabwino kapena zoyipa kwa inu ndi omwe akuzungulirani. Pomwe munthu wamkulu weniweni ndi mfulu kwathunthu ndipo salola mapulogalamu aliwonse.

Munthu wamkulu weniweni ndi mfulu kwathunthu ndipo sagonjera mapulogalamu aliwonse.

Eric Berne amakhulupirira kuti ma hypostases atatuwa - Wamkulu, Mwana ndi Kholo - ali obadwa mwa munthu aliyense ndipo ndi zigawo za I. Ndi mwambo kutanthauza zigawo zitatu za ine ndi chilembo chachikulu kuti asasokoneze ndi mawu. «wamkulu», «mwana» ndi «kholo» mu matanthauzo awo mwachizolowezi. Mwachitsanzo, ndinu wamkulu, muli ndi mwana ndipo muli ndi makolo — apa tikukamba za anthu enieni. Koma ngati tinganene kuti mukhoza kupeza Wamkulu, Kholo ndi Mwana mwa inu nokha, ndiye, ndithudi, tikukamba za mayiko a Self.

Ulamuliro pa moyo wako uyenera kukhala wa Wachikulire

Malo abwino kwambiri, omasuka komanso olimbikitsa kwa munthu aliyense ndi momwe munthu wamkulu alili. Chowonadi ndi chakuti Mkulu yekha ndi amene amatha kuwunika mokwanira zenizeni ndikuziyendetsa kuti apange zisankho zoyenera. Mwana ndi Kholo sangathe kuwunika zenizeni zenizeni, chifukwa amazindikira zenizeni zowazungulira kudzera muzoyambira zakale komanso malingaliro omwe amalepheretsa zikhulupiriro. Onse Mwana ndi Kholo amayang'ana moyo kudzera m'zochitika zakale, zomwe zimakhala zachikale tsiku lililonse ndipo ndi chinthu chomwe chimasokoneza kwambiri malingaliro.

Ndi Mkulu yekha yemwe amatha kuwunika moyenera zenizeni ndikuziyendetsa kuti apange zisankho zoyenera.

Koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti ndikofunikira kuchotsa Kholo ndi Mwana. Izi, choyamba, sizingatheke, ndipo kachiwiri, sizofunikira zokha, komanso zovulaza kwambiri. Timafunikira mbali zonse zitatu. Popanda mphamvu ya kuchita zinthu mwachindunji mwachibwana, umunthu waumunthu umakhala wosauka kwambiri. Ndipo maganizo a makolo, malamulo ndi makhalidwe ndi zofunika kwa ife nthawi zambiri.

Chinthu china ndi chakuti m'madera a Mwana ndi Makolo nthawi zambiri timachita zinthu zokha, ndiye kuti, popanda kulamulira zofuna zathu ndi chidziwitso chathu, ndipo izi sizothandiza nthawi zonse. Tikamachita zinthu mwachisawawa, nthawi zambiri timadzivulaza ndiponso kuvulaza ena. Kuti izi zisachitike, Mwana ndi Kholo mwaokha ayenera kulamulidwa - pansi pa ulamuliro wa Wamkulu.

Ndiko kuti, ndi Mkulu yemwe ayenera kukhala gawo lalikulu, lotsogola ndi lotsogolera la umunthu wathu, lomwe limayang'anira zonse zomwe zimachitika m'moyo wathu, kupanga zisankho ndikupanga zisankho.

"Mkhalidwe wa "Wamkulu" ndi wofunikira pa moyo. Munthu amakonza zidziwitso ndikuwerengera zomwe muyenera kudziwa kuti muzitha kulumikizana bwino ndi anthu akunja. Amadziwa zolephera zake ndi zosangalatsa zake. Mwachitsanzo, powoloka msewu wokhala ndi magalimoto ochuluka, m'pofunika kupanga kuyerekezera kovuta kwa liwiro. Munthu amayamba kuchitapo kanthu pokhapokha atawunika kuchuluka kwa chitetezo chamsewu. Chisangalalo chomwe anthu amapeza chifukwa cha kuwunika kopambana kotereku, m'malingaliro athu, kumafotokoza za chikondi chamasewera monga skiing, ndege ndi zombo.

Wamkulu amalamulira zochita za Kholo ndi Mwana, ndi mkhalapakati pakati pawo.

Masewera Anthu Amasewera

Zosankha zikapangidwa ndi Wachikulire-Mwana ndi Kholo, sadzathanso kukuikani pansi ku mapulogalamu osafunika ndikukutengerani kumeneko m'njira ya moyo wanu kumene simukuyenera kupitako.

Zochita 1. Dziwani momwe Mwana, Makolo ndi Akuluakulu amachitira zinthu zosiyanasiyana.

Patulani nthawi yapadera yomwe mudzayang'anire zomwe mumachita pa chilichonse chomwe chimachitika pafupi nanu. Mutha kuchita izi popanda kusokoneza zochita zanu zachizolowezi komanso nkhawa. Zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikuima kaye nthawi ndi nthawi kuganizira motere: Kodi mukuchita, kumverera, ndikuchita ngati Mkulu, Mwana, kapena Kholo mumkhalidwewu?

Mwachitsanzo, dzidziwitse nokha kuti ndi iti mwa zigawo zitatu za Self zomwe zimapambana mwa inu pamene:

• mukapita kwa dokotala wamano,
• mukuwona keke yokoma patebulo,
• imvani woyandikana nawo akuyatsanso nyimbo zaphokoso,
• wina akukangana
• mwauzidwa kuti bwenzi lanu lachita bwino kwambiri,
• mukuyang'ana chojambula pachiwonetsero kapena kujambulanso mu album, ndipo sizikumveka bwino kwa inu zomwe zikuwonetsedwa pamenepo,
• mumatchedwa "pamphasa" ndi akuluakulu,
• mukufunsidwa malangizo amomwe mungathanirane ndi vuto,
• wina waponda pa phazi lako kapena kukukankhira,
• wina amakusokonezani kuntchito,
• etc.

Tengani pepala kapena cholembera ndi cholembera ndikulemba zomwe mumachita mukakhala ngati izi kapena zina zilizonse - zomwe zimangobwera mwa inu, zokha, musanakhale ndi nthawi yoganiza.

Werenganinso zomwe mwachita ndipo yesani kuyankha moona mtima funsoli: Kodi zochita zanu za Akuluakulu ndi liti, zochita za Mwana ndi liti?

Yang'anani pa mfundo zotsatirazi:

• mmene mwanayo amachitira mowiriza wosalamulirika mawonetseredwe a maganizo, zabwino ndi zoipa;
• zomwe Kholo likuchita ndikudzudzula, kudzudzula kapena kudera nkhawa ena, kufuna kuthandiza, kukonza kapena kukonza wina;
• zochita za Wamkulu ndi modekha, zenizeni kuunika zinthu ndi mphamvu zake mmenemo.

Mukhoza kupeza, mwachitsanzo, zotsatirazi.

Chifukwa: wina amalumbira.

Zochita: kukwiya, kukwiya, kudzudzula.

Kutsiliza: Ndimachita ngati Kholo.

Chifukwa: bwenzi lapambana.

Zochita: adayeneradi, adagwira ntchito molimbika komanso mouma khosi kupita ku cholinga chake.

Kutsiliza: Ndimachita ngati Mkulu.

Chifukwa: wina amasokoneza ntchito.

Zochita: chabwino, apanso amandisokoneza, ndizochititsa manyazi kuti palibe amene amandiganizira!

Kutsiliza: Ndimachita ngati Mwana.

Kumbukiraninso zochitika zina m'moyo wanu - makamaka zovuta, zovuta. Mutha kuzindikira kuti nthawi zina Mwana wanu watsegulidwa, nthawi zina ndi Kholo, nthawi zina ndi Wachikulire. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, zochita za Mwana, Makolo ndi Akuluakulu sizimangoganizira zosiyana. Lingaliro, kudzidziwitsa, ndi khalidwe la munthu amene amachoka kudziko lina laumwini kupita ku lina amasintha kotheratu. Mutha kuona kuti muli ndi mawu osiyana kwambiri ngati Mwana kuposa ngati Mkulu kapena Kholo. Kusintha ndi maonekedwe, ndi manja, ndi mawu, ndi maonekedwe a nkhope, ndi kumverera.

M’malo mwake, m’chigawo chilichonse cha zigawo zitatuzi, mumakhala munthu wosiyana, ndipo anthu atatuwa sangakhale ofanana kwenikweni.

Exercise 2. Fananizani zomwe mudachita m'maiko osiyanasiyana a I

Zochita izi zikuthandizani osati kungoyerekeza zomwe mumachita m'magawo osiyanasiyana a Self, komanso kumvetsetsa kuti mutha kusankha momwe mungachitire: Ngati Mwana, Kholo kapena Wachikulire. Ganiziraninso zomwe zalembedwa muzochita 1 ndipo lingalirani:

• Kodi mungamve bwanji ndipo mungatani ngati mutachita ngati Mwana?
• ngati kholo?
• komanso ngati munthu wamkulu?

Mukhoza kupeza, mwachitsanzo, zotsatirazi.

Muyenera kupita kwa dokotala wa mano.

Mwana: "Ndikuopa! Zidzapweteka kwambiri! Sindipita! ”

Kholo: “Ndi zamanyazi bwanji kukhala wamantha chonchi! Sizowawa kapena zowopsa! Pitani nthawi yomweyo!

Wachikulire: "Inde, ichi sichinali chochitika chosangalatsa kwambiri, ndipo padzakhala nthawi zingapo zosasangalatsa. Koma choti muchite, muyenera kuleza mtima, chifukwa ndikofunikira kwa ine ndekha.

Patebulo pali keke yokoma.

Mwana: “Zokoma bwanji! Ndikhoza kudya chilichonse pompano!”

Kholo: “Idyani chidutswa, muyenera kudzisangalatsa kwambiri. Palibe choipa chomwe chidzachitike. "

Wachikulire: “Zikuwoneka zokhutiritsa, koma pali zopatsa mphamvu zambiri komanso mafuta ochulukirapo. Zimandipwetekadi. Mwina ndikana."

Woyandikana naye anatsegula nyimbo zaphokoso.

Mwana: "Ndikufuna kuvina ndikusangalala ngati iye!"

Kholo: "Ndizowopsa bwanji, wakwiya, tiyenera kuyimbira apolisi!"

Wachikulire: “Zimasokoneza ntchito ndi kuwerenga. Koma ine, pa msinkhu wake, ndinkachita chimodzimodzi.

Mukuyang'ana chojambula kapena kubereka, zomwe sizikumveka bwino kwa inu.

Mwana: "Ndi mitundu yowala bwanji, inenso ndikufuna kujambula monga choncho."

Makolo: "Ndi daub bwanji, mungatchule bwanji luso."

Wachikulire: “Chithunzicho n’chokwera mtengo, choncho wina amachiyamikira. Mwina sindikumvetsa kanthu, ndiyenera kuphunzira zambiri za kalembedwe kameneka.”

Zindikirani kuti m'maiko osiyanasiyana a Self, simumangochita zinthu mosiyana ndikumva mosiyana, komanso kupanga zisankho zosiyanasiyana. Sizowopsa ngati inu, pamene muli m’dera la Kholo kapena Mwana, mwapanga chosankha chaching’ono chimene sichimakhudza kwambiri moyo wanu: mwachitsanzo, kaya kudya chidutswa cha keke kapena ayi. Ngakhale pamenepa, zotsatira za thupi lanu ndi thanzi lanu zingakhale zosafunika. Koma ndizowopsa kwambiri mukapanga zisankho zofunika kwambiri pamoyo wanu osati ngati Mkulu, koma ngati Kholo kapena Mwana. Mwachitsanzo, ngati simuthetsa nkhani zosankha bwenzi lamoyo kapena bizinesi ya moyo wanu wonse mwa munthu wamkulu, izi zikuwopseza tsogolo losweka. Pambuyo pake, tsogolo lathu limadalira zosankha zathu, pa zosankha zathu.

Kodi mukutsimikiza kuti mwasankha tsogolo lanu ngati Mkulu?

Kholo nthawi zambiri limapanga chisankho potengera zomwe amakonda, zokonda, zomwe amakonda, koma pamalingaliro a uXNUMXbuXNUMXbzomwe zimatengedwa kuti ndi zolondola, zothandiza komanso zofunika pagulu. Mwanayo nthawi zambiri amapanga zosankha mwachisawawa, zosayenera, komanso zizindikiro zosafunikira. Mwachitsanzo, ndikofunikira kwa mwana kuti chidole chikhale chowala komanso chokongola. Gwirizanani, pankhani yosankha wokwatirana naye kapena bizinesi ya moyo wanu - njira iyi sikugwiranso ntchito. Chisankho chiyenera kupangidwa molingana ndi zizindikiro zina, zofunika kwambiri kwa munthu wamkulu: mwachitsanzo, makhalidwe auzimu a bwenzi la moyo wamtsogolo, kuthekera kwake kumanga maubwenzi abwino, ndi zina zotero.

Chifukwa chake, ufulu wotsogolera moyo wanu uyenera kuperekedwa kwa Wachikulire, ndipo Kholo ndi Mwana azisiyidwa ndi maudindo achiwiri. Kuti muchite izi, muyenera kuphunzira kulimbikitsa ndi kulimbikitsa Mkulu wanu. Mwinamwake poyamba muli ndi Akuluakulu amphamvu ndi okhazikika, ndipo mumatha kukhalabe ndi chikhalidwe ichi cha I. Ukuganiza kuti ndiwe wamkulu?" kapena china chofanana. Mwa anthu oterowo, Wamkuluyo angawope kudziwonetsera yekha kapena kudziwonetsa mwanjira ina yake yofooka komanso wamantha.

Mulimonsemo, muyenera kudziwa: Ukulu ndi chikhalidwe chachibadwa kwa inu, ndipo ndi chibadwidwe mwa inu kuyambira pachiyambi. Munthu wamkulu monga kudzikonda sikudalira msinkhu, ngakhale ana ang'onoang'ono ali nazo. Mutha kunenanso izi: ngati muli ndi ubongo, ndiye kuti mulinso ndi ntchito yachilengedwe yachidziwitso monga gawo la Self, lomwe limatchedwa Wamkulu.

Munthu wamkulu ndi chikhalidwe chachibadwa, chachibadwa kwa inu, ndipo ndi chibadwidwe mwa inu kuyambira pachiyambi. Munthu wamkulu monga kudzikonda sikudalira msinkhu, ngakhale ana ang'onoang'ono ali nazo.

Wachikulire monga mkhalidwe wa ine ndinapatsidwa kwa inu mwachibadwa. Pezani ndikulimbitsa mwa inu nokha

Ngati muli ndi Mkulu muzochitika zilizonse, zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kupeza mkhalidwe uwu mwa inu nokha, ndiyeno mulimbitse ndikulimbitsa.

Ntchito 3: Kupeza Wamkulu mwa Inu

Kumbukirani zochitika zilizonse m'moyo wanu pomwe mudakhala ndi chidaliro, omasuka, omasuka, munapanga zisankho zanu ndikuchita momwe mumafunira, kutengera malingaliro anu pazomwe zingakhale zabwino kwa inu. Munthawi imeneyi, simunakhumudwe kapena kupsinjika, simunakhudzidwe ndi aliyense kapena kukakamizidwa. Chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti muzochitika izi munakhala osangalala, ndipo ziribe kanthu ngati panali zifukwa za izi kapena ayi. Mwinamwake munapindula mtundu wina wa kupambana, kapena wina amakukondani, kapena mwinamwake panalibe zifukwa zakunja izi, ndipo munamva okondwa chifukwa chakuti mumakonda kukhala nokha ndikuchita zomwe munachita. Munadzikonda nokha, ndipo zimenezo zinali zokwanira kuti mukhale osangalala.

Ngati zimakuvutani kukumbukira mkhalidwe wofananawo wauchikulire wanu, lingalirani za ubwana wanu kapena unyamata wanu. Mkulu Wam'kati mwa munthu aliyense, ngakhale ali wamkulu bwanji. Ngakhale mwana wamng’ono amakhala ndi munthu wamkulu paukhanda wake. Ndipo pamene mukukula, Wamkuluyo amayamba kudziwonetsera yekha mwachangu. Chikhalidwe ichi, pamene munachita chinachake kwa nthawi yoyamba popanda kuthandizidwa ndi makolo anu, munapanga mtundu wina wanu wodziimira nokha ndipo kwa nthawi yoyamba munamva ngati munthu wamkulu, anthu ambiri amakumbukira kwa moyo wonse. Kuphatikiza apo, "kuwonekera koyamba pa siteji" kwa Munthu wamkulu kumakumbukiridwa ngati chochitika chowala komanso chosangalatsa, nthawi zina kusiya mphuno pang'ono pakachitika kuti pambuyo pake mudataya ufulu uwu ndikugweranso muzokonda zamtundu wina (monga nthawi zambiri zimachitika).

Koma ingokumbukirani: Khalidwe la akulu nthawi zonse limakhala labwino komanso lolunjika ku phindu la iwo eni ndi ena. Ngati munachita zinthu zowononga kuthaŵa chisamaliro cha makolo ndi kudzimva ngati munthu wamkulu (mwachitsanzo, kuchita zizolowezi zoipa, kusuta, kumwa moŵa), zimenezi sizinali zochita za Wamkulu, koma Mwana wopanduka chabe.

Ngati ndizovuta kukumbukira chochitika chachikulu kapena vuto lalikulu mukamamva ngati Wachikulire, fufuzani m'makumbukidwe anu kuti mukumbukire zowonera zazing'ono, zosafunikira zamtunduwu. Inu munali nazo, monga momwe munthu wina aliyense anali nazo. Zitha kukhala kuti zangokhala mphindi zochepa - koma mosakaikira mwazindikira kale tanthauzo la kumva ndikukhala Wamkulu.

Tsopano mutha, pokumbukira dzikolo, kukonzanso mwa inu nokha, ndipo pamodzi ndi izo, kumverera kwachisangalalo ndi ufulu umene nthawi zonse umatsagana ndi chikhalidwe cha Munthu Wamkulu.

Zochita 4. Momwe mungalimbikitsire Mkulu mwa inu nokha

Kukumbukira dziko lomwe munali ngati Mkulu, fufuzani. Mudzawona kuti zigawo zake zazikulu ndikumverera kwa chidaliro ndi mphamvu. Inu imani molimba pa mapazi anu. Mumamva chithandizo chamkati. Mutha kuganiza komanso kuchita zinthu momasuka komanso modziyimira pawokha. Simukukhudzidwa ndi chilichonse. Inu mukudziwa zomwe mukufuna. Mumayesa mozama luso lanu ndi luso lanu. Mukuwona njira zenizeni zokwaniritsira zolinga zanu. Munthawi imeneyi, simunganyengedwe, kusokonezedwa kapena kusocheretsedwa. Mukayang'ana dziko lapansi ndi maso a Mkulu, mumatha kusiyanitsa chowonadi ndi mabodza, chenicheni ndi chinyengo. Mukuwona zonse momveka bwino komanso momveka bwino ndikupita patsogolo molimba mtima, osagonja ku kukayika kulikonse kapena mitundu yonse ya mayesero.

Mkhalidwe woterewu ukhoza kubwera - ndipo nthawi zambiri umayamba - mwangozi, popanda cholinga chathu. Koma ngati tikufuna kuyang'anira maiko athu, ngati tikufuna kukhala Akuluakulu, osati pakakhala zinthu zabwino pa izi, koma nthawi zonse pamene tikuzifuna, tiyenera kuphunzira kulowa mu chikhalidwe cha Mkulu muzochitika zilizonse.

Kuti muchite izi, muyenera kupeza chinachake chomwe chimakuthandizani kuti mulowe mumkhalidwe wodalirika, wodekha, ndikumverera kwachilimbikitso cholimba pansi pa mapazi anu ndi phata lamkati lamphamvu. Palibe ndipo sipangakhale njira imodzi ya aliyense - muyenera kupeza ndendende "kiyi" yanu kuti mulowe mu chikhalidwe cha Wamkulu. Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti vutoli limadziwika ndi kudzidalira kwambiri. Yang'anani zomwe zimakuthandizani kuti mukhale odzidalira (odekha, osadzitukumula) - ndipo mudzapeza njira za chikhalidwe cha Wamkulu.

Nazi njira zingapo zomwe mungasankhe, zomwe mungasankhe zomwe zimagwirizana ndi umunthu wanu (ngati mukufuna, simungagwiritse ntchito imodzi, koma njira zingapo, kapena zonse):

1. Kumbukirani zomwe mwakwaniritsa, chilichonse chomwe mwachita bwino kuyambira ubwana wanu mpaka lero. Dziuzeni nokha kuti: “Ndinachita, ndachita. Ndathana nazo. Ndidziyamikira ndekha chifukwa cha izi. Ndiyenera kuvomerezedwa. Ndiyenera kuchita bwino komanso zabwino zonse m'moyo. Ndine munthu wabwino, woyenera - mosasamala kanthu za zomwe ena akunena ndi kuganiza. Palibe kapena palibe chomwe chingachepetse kudzidalira kwanga. Zimandipatsa mphamvu ndi chidaliro. Ndikumva kuti ndili ndi chithandizo champhamvu chamkati. Ndine mwamuna wa ndodo. Ndimadzidalira ndekha ndikuyima mokhazikika pamapazi anga.

Bwerezani mawu awa (kapena ofanana) kamodzi patsiku, ndi bwino kunena mokweza, kuyang'ana chithunzithunzi chanu pagalasi. Ndiponso, pitirizani kukumbukira zonse zimene mwakwaniritsa—zazikulu ndi zazing’ono—ndipo mudzitamande m’mawu kapena m’maganizo chifukwa cha zimenezo. Dzitamandenso chifukwa cha zomwe mwakwaniritsa panopo, osati zomwe mwakwaniritsa kale.

2. Ganizirani za mfundo yakuti mwayi woti munabadwa unali mwayi umodzi mwa mamiliyoni ambiri. Ganizirani za mfundo yakuti mamiliyoni ambiri a umuna ndi mazira mazana m’moyo wonse wa makolo anu analephera kutengako mbali m’njira ya kutenga pakati ndikukhala ana. Mwapambana. Mukuganiza bwanji? Mwamwayi? Ayi. Chilengedwe chinakusankhani chifukwa munapezeka kuti ndinu wamphamvu kwambiri, wopirira kwambiri, waluso kwambiri, wochita bwino kwambiri. Chilengedwe chimadalira zabwino kwambiri. Munakhala mwayi wabwino koposa mamiliyoni makumi ambiri mwayi.

Lingalirani izi ngati chifukwa choyambira kudzimvera bwino. Tsekani maso anu, khalani omasuka ndikudziuza nokha kuti: "Ndimadzilemekeza, ndimadzikonda, ndimadzimva bwino, chifukwa chakuti ndinali ndi mwayi wobadwira padziko lapansi. Mwayi umenewu umaperekedwa kwa opambana okha, opambana, oyamba ndi amphamvu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake muyenera kudzikonda ndikudzilemekeza nokha. Ine, monga anthu ena, ndili ndi ufulu uliwonse kukhala pano pa Dziko Lapansi. Ndiyenera kukhala pano chifukwa ndabwera mwachipambano.”

Bwerezani mawu awa (kapena ofanana) kamodzi patsiku.

3. Ngati muzindikira kukhalapo kwa Mphamvu Yapamwamba (yomwe nthawi zambiri imatchedwa Mulungu), yomwe ili maziko a moyo ndi zonse zomwe zilipo, mudzapeza chidaliro ndi kudzidalira pakumva kukhudzidwa kwanu mu mphamvu iyi, kugwirizana nayo. Ngati mukumva kuti muli ndi kachigawo kakang'ono ka Umulungu mwa inu, kuti ndinu amodzi ndi mphamvu yachikondi ndi yamphamvu iyi, kuti ndinu amodzi ndi dziko lonse lapansi, lomwe mu kusiyanasiyana kwake kulinso chiwonetsero cha Mulungu, ndiye kuti muli nawo kale. chithandizo champhamvu, maziko amkati omwe Mkulu wanu amafunikira. Kuti mulimbikitse chikhalidwe ichi, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito pemphero lanu lomwe mumakonda kapena zotsimikizira (mawu abwino), mwachitsanzo, monga: "Ndine gawo la dziko lokongola laumulungu", "Ndine selo lachamoyo chimodzi cha Chilengedwe", " Ndine nyenyezi ya Mulungu, kadulidwe ka kuwala ndi chikondi cha Mulungu”, “Ine ndine mwana wokondedwa wa Mulungu”, ndi zina zotero.

4. Ganizirani zimene zili zofunikadi kwa inu m’moyo. Tengani pepala ndikuyesera kupanga mulingo wa mfundo zanu zenizeni. Mfundo zenizeni ndi zomwe simungathe kuzipatuka muzochitika zilizonse. Mwina ntchitoyi ifunika kuganiza mozama ndipo mudzafunika kupitilira tsiku limodzi kuti mumalize. Chitani mwachifatse.

Nayi malingaliro - awa ndi malamulo omwe, pazifukwa zomveka, munthu aliyense ayenera kutsatira kuti akhale ndi chidaliro komanso kulimbikitsa kudzidalira.

• Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, ndimachita zinthu molemekeza ulemu wanga ndi ulemu wa anthu ena.
• Mu mphindi iliyonse ya moyo wanga ndimayesetsa kuchita zabwino kwa ine ndekha ndi ena.
• Sindingathe kudzivulaza kapena kudzivulaza mwadala.
• Ndimayesetsa nthawi zonse kukhala woona mtima kwa ine ndekha komanso kwa ena.
• Ndimayesetsa kuchita zomwe zimandilola kukulitsa, kuwongolera, kuwulula mikhalidwe yanga yabwino komanso luso langa.

Mutha kupanga mfundo ndi zikhalidwe zomwe zili zofunika kwa inu mwanjira ina, mutha kuwonjezera zanu. Kupitilira apo, ntchito yanu idzakhala kufanizira zochita zanu zilizonse, sitepe iliyonse, ngakhale liwu lililonse ndi lingaliro lililonse ndi zomwe mumafunikira. Ndiye mukhoza mwachidziwitso, monga Wachikulire, kupanga zisankho ndikupanga zisankho. Kupyolera mu kuyanjanitsa kwa khalidwe lanu ndi mfundo zazikuluzikulu, Mkulu wanu adzakula ndikulimbitsa tsiku ndi tsiku.

5. Thupi limatipatsa mwayi waukulu wogwira ntchito ndi mayiko athu amkati. Mwinamwake mwawona kuti kaimidwe kanu, manja, maonekedwe a nkhope ndi ogwirizana kwambiri ndi mmene mukumvera. Sizingatheke kudzidalira ngati mapewa anu akugwedezeka ndipo mutu uli pansi. Koma ngati muwongola mapewa anu ndikuwongola khosi lanu, ndiye kuti zidzakhala zosavuta kwambiri kulowa m'chikhulupiriro. Mutha kuzolowera thupi lanu kuti likhale ndi kaimidwe ndi kaimidwe ka munthu wodalirika - ndiyeno, potengera kaimidwe kameneka, mudzalowa gawo la Munthu wamkulu wodalirika, wamphamvu.

Umu ndi momwe mungalowerere pachithunzichi:

• imirirani molunjika, mapazi patali pang'ono kuchokera kwa wina ndi mzake, kufanana wina ndi mzake, khalani pansi mwamphamvu. Miyendo siimalimba, mawondo amatha kuphuka pang'ono;
• kwezani mapewa anu, kuwakokera kumbuyo, ndiyeno kuwatsitsa momasuka. Chifukwa chake, mumawongola chifuwa chanu ndikuchotsa kutsika kosafunika;
• kukoka m'mimba, kunyamula matako. Onetsetsani kuti msanawo ndi wowongoka (kuti pasakhale kutsika kumtunda ndi kupotoza mwamphamvu m'chiuno);
• sungani mutu wanu molunjika komanso molunjika (onetsetsani kuti palibe kupendekera kumbali, kutsogolo kapena kumbuyo);
• yang'anani kutsogolo ndi kuyang'anitsitsa kolunjika.

Yesani izi poyambira nokha, makamaka kutsogolo kwa galasi, ndiyeno popanda kalilole. Mudzazindikira kuti kudzidalira kumangobwera kwa inu mwanjira iyi. Malingana ngati muli pamalo awa, muli mu chikhalidwe cha Akuluakulu. Izi zikutanthauza kuti sikutheka kukukhudzani, sikutheka kukulamulirani, sikutheka kukukokerani mumasewera aliwonse.

Mukayang'ana dziko lapansi ndi maso a Mkulu, mumatha kusiyanitsa chowonadi ndi mabodza, chenicheni ndi chinyengo. Mukuwona zonse momveka bwino komanso momveka bwino ndikupita patsogolo molimba mtima, osagonja ku kukayika kulikonse kapena mitundu yonse ya mayesero.

Pezani amene alidi ndi ulamuliro pa moyo wanu

Mukazindikira ndikuyamba kulimbitsa gawo lanulo lomwe limatchedwa Wamkulu, mutha kuyang'ana modekha, mopanda chisoni komanso mowona mbali zomwe muli Kholo ndi Mwana. Kuphunzira koteroko ndikofunikira kuti muthe kulamulira mawonetseredwe a mayiko awiriwa a Self, kuti asalole kuti azichita zinthu mopanda malire, motsutsana ndi chifuniro chanu. Mwanjira imeneyi, mudzatha kuyimitsa masewera osafunikira ndi zochitika pamoyo wanu, zomwe zimapangidwa ndi Kholo ndi Mwana.

Choyamba muyenera kudziwa chilichonse mwa zigawo zitatu za Self yanu bwino. Aliyense wa ife amadziwonetsera mosiyana. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri, aliyense wa ife ali ndi chiŵerengero chosiyana cha mayiko a I: kwa wina, Wamkulu amapambana, kwa wina - Mwana, kwa wina - Kholo. Izi ndizomwe zimatsimikizira kwambiri masewera omwe timasewera, momwe timachitira bwino, komanso zomwe timapeza m'moyo.

Zochita 5. Dziwani kuti ndi gawo liti lomwe limakhalapo pamoyo wanu

Choyamba, werengani mosamala zomwe zalembedwa pansipa.

1. MWANA

Mawu omveka kwa Mwana:

• Ndikufuna
• My
• Perekani
• Ndizamanyazi
• Ndili ndi nkhawa
• Sindikudziwa
• Ndilibe mlandu
• sindidzakhalanso
• Kutsutsana
• Zabwino
• Zosasangalatsa
• Zosangalatsa
• Sindikufuna
• ngati
• sindimakonda
• "Kalasi!", "Cool!" ndi zina.

Makhalidwe a Mwana:

• Misozi
• Kuseka
• Chifundo
• Kukayikakayika
• Kukakamira
• Kudzitama
• Kuyesera kukopa chidwi
• Kukondwera
• Chizoloŵezi cholota
• Zomveka
• Game
• Zosangalatsa, zosangalatsa
• Zojambulajambula (nyimbo, kuvina, kujambula, etc.)
• Ndinadabwa
• chidwi

Mawonekedwe akunja a Mwana:

• Mawu owonda, okwera okhala ndi mawu omveka bwino
• Anadabwa tsegulani maso
• Kudalira maonekedwe a nkhope
• Maso anatseka ndi mantha
• Chikhumbo chobisala, kuchepa kukhala mpira
• Manja onyansa
• Kufuna kukumbatirana, kusisita

2. MAKOLO

Mawu a bambo:

• ayenela
• ayenera
• Ndi zolondola
• Si bwino
• Izi sizoyenera
• izi ndizowopsa
• Ndikulola
• sindilola
• Izo ziyenera kukhala
• Chitani chonchi
• Mukulakwitsa
• Mukulakwitsa
• Ndizabwino
• Izi ndi zoipa

Makhalidwe a makolo:

• Kutsutsa
• Kudzudzula
• Chisamaliro
• nkhawa
• kuchita bwino
• Kufunitsitsa kupereka malangizo
• Kufuna kuwongolera
• Chofunikira pakudzilemekeza
• Kutsatira malamulo, miyambo
• Mkwiyo
• Kumvetsetsa, chifundo
• Chitetezo, kuwongolera

Mawonekedwe akunja a Kholo:

• Mawonekedwe okwiya, okwiya
• Mawonekedwe ofunda, osamala
• Kulamula kapena didactic tonations m'mawu
• Lispy njira yolankhulira
• Mawu otonthoza, otonthoza
• Kugwedeza mutu mosavomereza
• kukumbatirana kwa chitetezo cha abambo
• Kusisita pamutu

3. WAMKULU

Mawu akulu:

• Ndi zomveka
• Ndizothandiza
• Ndi zoona
• Ichi ndi chidziwitso cha cholinga.
• Ndili ndi udindo pa izi
• Ndikoyenera
• Ndi kunja kwa malo
• Ndiyenera kuzichepetsa
• Muyenera kupanga chisankho mwanzeru
• Tiyenera kuyesetsa kumvetsa
• Ndiyenera kuyamba ndi zenizeni
• Iyi ndi njira yabwino kwambiri
• Iyi ndiye njira yabwino kwambiri
• Zimagwirizana ndi nthawiyo

Makhalidwe Aakulu:

• Kudzola
• chidaliro
• Kudzidalira
• Kuwunika momwe zinthu ziliri
• Kuwongolera Maganizo
• Kuyesetsa kupeza zotsatira zabwino
• Kutha kupanga zosankha mwanzeru
• Kutha kuchita zinthu moyenera pazochitikazo
• Kutha kukhala wodekha, popanda chinyengo, kuyanjana ndi iwe ndi ena
• Kutha kusankha zabwino koposa zonse

Mawonekedwe akunja amunthu wamkulu:

• Mawonekedwe achindunji, otsimikiza
• Liwu lofanana popanda kumangirira, kudandaula, kukhumudwitsa, kulamula kapena kutulutsa mawu
• Mmbuyo molunjika, kaimidwe kowongoka
• Kulankhula mwaubwenzi ndi modekha
• Kukhoza kusagonja ku malingaliro ndi malingaliro a anthu ena
• Kutha kukhalabe wachilengedwe, wekha muzochitika zilizonse

Mukawerenga zonsezi mosamala, dzipatseni ntchito: tsiku lonse, yang'anani mawu anu ndi machitidwe anu ndikuyika chizindikiro, kuphatikiza, kapena chithunzi china chilichonse, mawu aliwonse omwe munganene, machitidwe, kapena mawonekedwe akunja kuchokera pamindandanda itatuyi.

Ngati mungafune, mutha kulembanso mindandanda iyi pamasamba osiyanasiyana ndikuyika zolemba pamenepo.

Pamapeto pa tsiku, werengani kuti ndi gawo liti lomwe munapezapo zizindikiro zambiri - yoyamba (Mwana), yachiwiri (Makolo) kapena yachitatu (Wamkulu)? Chifukwa chake, mupeza kuti mwa mayiko atatuwa ndi ati omwe ali ndi mphamvu mwa inu.

Kodi mukuganiza kuti ndi ndani amene amayang'anira moyo wanu - Wamkulu, Mwana kapena Kholo?

Mwamvetsetsa kale zambiri za inu nokha, koma osayimilira pamenepo. Ena onse a phunziro ili adzakuthandizani kubweretsa dongosolo m'moyo wanu mwa kulinganiza zomwe mumakonda.

Yang'anani Mwana wanu ndi Kholo kuchokera kwa Akuluakulu ndikuwongolera machitidwe awo

Ntchito yanu ngati Mkulu ndikuyang'anira mawonetseredwe a Kholo ndi Mwana. Simuyenera kudzikana kwathunthu mawonetseredwe awa. Iwo ndi ofunikira. Koma tiyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti Mwanayo ndi Kholo sizimangowonekera, mosazindikira. Ayenera kulamulidwa ndi kuwatsogolera m’njira yoyenera.

Izi zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuyang'ana mawonetseredwe anu ngati Mwana ndi Kholo kuchokera m'malo a Mkulu ndikusankha kuti ndi ziti mwazinthuzi zomwe zingakhale zofunikira komanso zothandiza, komanso zomwe sizingakhale.

Monga momwe mwawonera, Kholo ndi Mwana amatha kudziwonetsera okha m'njira ziwiri - zabwino ndi zoyipa.

Mwana akhoza kusonyeza:

• zabwino: monga mwana wachibadwa,
• moyipa: monga woponderezedwa (wosinthidwa malinga ndi zofuna za makolo) kapena mwana wopanduka.

Abambo akhoza kukhala:

• zabwino: monga kholo lothandizira,
• moipitsitsa: monga kholo loweruza.

Ziwonetsero za Mwana Wachilengedwe:

• kuwona mtima, kufulumira kuwonetsa malingaliro,
• kukhoza kudabwa
• kuseka, chisangalalo, chisangalalo,
• kuchita modzidzimutsa,
• Kutha kusangalala, kumasuka, kusangalala, kusewera,
• chidwi, chidwi,
• chidwi, chidwi mu bizinesi iliyonse.

Zizindikiro za Mwana Wopsinjika Maganizo:

• chizoloŵezi chonamizira, kusintha kuti muwoneke bwino,
• chikhumbo chochita mwachipongwe, kukhala wamanyazi, kutaya mtima,
• chizoloŵezi chonyenga ena (pezani zomwe mukufuna ndi misozi, kulira, etc.),
• kuthawa zenizeni kulowa m'maloto ndi zonyenga,
• chizoloŵezi chosonyeza kuti ndinu wamkulu, kunyozetsa ena;
• wolakwa, manyazi, inferiority complex.

Zisonyezero za Kholo Lothandiza:

• luso lomvera ena chisoni
• kutha kukhululuka
• luso loyamika ndi kuvomereza,
• Kutha kusamalira kuti chisamaliro chisasinthe kukhala kuwongolera mopitilira muyeso komanso chitetezo chochulukirapo,
• kufuna kumvetsa
• kufuna kutonthoza ndi kuteteza.

Ziwonetsero za Kholo Loweruza:

• kudzudzula,
• kutsutsidwa, kusavomerezedwa,
• mkwiyo,
• kusamalidwa kwambiri komwe kumapondereza umunthu wa munthu amene akusamalidwa,
• kufuna kugonjera ena ku chifuniro chawo, kuwaphunzitsanso;
• khalidwe lodzikuza, lolekerera, lonyozeka limene limachititsa manyazi ena.

Ntchito yanu: kuyang'ana mawonetseredwe oipa a Kholo ndi Mwana kuchokera ku maudindo a Akuluakulu ndikumvetsetsa kuti mawonetseredwe awa salinso oyenera. Ndiye mudzatha kuyang'ana mawonetseredwe abwino a Kholo ndi Mwana kuchokera kwa Mkuluyo ndikusankha omwe mukufuna lero. Ngati mawonetseredwe abwinowa ndi ochepa kapena ayi (ndipo izi sizachilendo), ntchito yanu ndikuwakulitsa mwa inu nokha ndikuwayika pa ntchito yanu.

Zochita zotsatirazi zidzakuthandizani pa izi.

Exercise 6. Kufufuza za Mwanayo monga Mkulu

1. Tengani pepala, cholembera ndi kulemba: «Mawonetseredwe oipa a Mwana wanga. Yang'anani, ganizirani mosamala, kumbukirani zochitika zosiyanasiyana pamoyo wanu ndikulemba zonse zomwe mungathe kuzizindikira.

Mofananamo, kumbukirani momwe zinthu izi zimawonekera m'moyo wanu.

Kumbukirani: muyenera kulemba mawonetseredwe okhawo omwe ali ndi khalidwe lanu pakali pano. Ngati mikhalidwe ina inachitika kale, koma tsopano yapita, simuyenera kuilemba.

2. Kenako lembani: "Mawonetseredwe abwino a Mwana wanga" - komanso lembani zonse zomwe mungazindikire, mukukumbukira momwe zinthuzi zimawonekera m'moyo wanu.

3. Tsopano ikani pambali zolembazo, khalani pamalo omasuka (kapena, kuti mumange mkhalidwe wolondola wamkati wa Wamkulu, choyamba, ngati mukufuna, khalani ndi chidaliro, monga momwe tawonetsera mu ndime 5 ya ntchito 4). Tsekani maso anu, masukani. Lowani chikhalidwe chamkati cha Wamkulu. Tangoganizani kuti inu, Mkulu, mukuyang'ana kumbali, mukukhala ngati Mwana. Chonde dziwani: muyenera kudziganizira nokha osati pa msinkhu waubwana, koma pa msinkhu womwe muli nawo tsopano, koma mu chikhalidwe cha Ine, chofanana ndi Mwana. Tangoganizani kuti mukudziwona nokha m'modzi mwazinthu zoyipa za Mwanayo - m'malo omwe amakukondani kwambiri. Unikani khalidweli moyenera poyang'ana kuchokera ku Akuluakulu.

Mutha kuzindikira kuti machitidwe awa sakukuthandizani kuti muchite bwino komanso zolinga zanu. Mumaonetsa makhalidwe oipawa mwachizoloŵezi basi. Chifukwa muubwana m’njira imeneyi anayesa kuzoloŵerana ndi malo awo. Chifukwa akuluakulu anakuphunzitsani kutsatira malamulo, zofunika.

Kumbukirani kuti zimenezi zinachitika zaka zambiri zapitazo. Koma zambiri zasintha kuyambira pamenepo. Mwasintha, nthawi zasintha. Ndipo ngati mutakwanitsa kupempha amayi anu chidole chatsopano ndi misozi, tsopano njira zoterezi sizikugwira ntchito, kapena zimakutsutsani. Ngati munakwanitsa kupeza chivomerezo cha makolo anu mwa kubisa malingaliro anu enieni ndi kudzimana kuyenera kwa kukhala inu mwini, tsopano kupondereza malingaliro kumangokupangitsani kupsinjika maganizo ndi matenda. Yakwana nthawi yoti musinthe zizolowezi zachikale izi ndi njira zina zabwino kwambiri, chifukwa zenizeni zamasiku ano, mikhalidwe yachikale iyi sakutumikiranso zabwino.

4. Pitirizani kuyang'ana m'maganizo mawonetseredwe otere kudzera m'maso mwa Mkulu yemwe amawona zenizeni. Mwamaganizo, mukakhala mumkhalidwe wa Mwana, lankhulani motere: “Mukudziwa, tinakula kalekale. Khalidweli sililinso labwino kwa ife. Kodi munthu wamkulu angachite bwanji zimenezi? Tiyeni tiyese? Tsopano ndikuwonetsani momwe mungachitire."

Tangoganizani kuti inu - Wamkulu - mutenge malo anu - Mwana ndikuchitapo kanthu, muzichita zinthu mosiyana, modekha, mwaulemu, molimba mtima - ngati Wamkulu.

Momwemonso, ngati simutopa, mutha kuthana ndi zovuta zina zingapo za Mwana wanu. Sikoyenera kupanga mikhalidwe yonse nthawi imodzi - mutha kubwereranso kuntchitoyi nthawi iliyonse mukakhala ndi nthawi ndi mphamvu pa izi.

5. Mutakonza khalidwe limodzi kapena zingapo zoipa m’njira imeneyi, tsopano dziyerekezereni muli m’chimodzi mwa zisonyezero zabwino za Mwanayo. Yang'anani ngati ali osalamulirika kwambiri? Kodi pali chowopsa chilichonse chodzivulaza nokha kapena munthu wina polowerera kwambiri pa udindo wa Mwana? Ndipotu, ngakhale mawonetseredwe abwino a Mwana angakhale osatetezeka ngati sakulamulidwa ndi Wamkulu. Mwachitsanzo, Mwana akhoza kusewera kwambiri ndi kuiwala za chakudya ndi kugona. Mwanayo amatha kutengeka kwambiri ndi kuvina kapena masewera ndikudzivulaza. Mwana angasangalale ndi kuyendetsa galimoto mofulumira kwambiri moti amasiya kusamala ndipo saona kuopsa kwake.

6. Tayerekezerani kuti ndinu Wachikulire, mwagwira dzanja la Mwana wanu n’kunena kuti: “Tiyeni tisewere, tisangalale ndi kusangalala limodzi! Inu, monga Wamkulu, mutha kukhalanso kwakanthawi ngati Mwana - wokondwa, modzidzimutsa, mwachibadwa, wokonda chidwi. Tangoganizirani momwe mumasangalalira limodzi, kusewera, kusangalala ndi moyo, koma nthawi yomweyo inu, monga Wachikulire, simutaya mtima, pitirizani kufufuza zenizeni zenizeni ndipo panthawi yoyenera muthandize Mwana wanu kuti asiye kapena asadutse malire.

Zikachitika kuti simupeza zabwino za Mwana mwa inu nokha, zikutanthauza kuti, mwina, musalole kuti muzindikire ndikuwulula mwa inu nokha. Pamenepa, yerekezeraninso kuti mwagwira Mwana wanu padzanja mwachikondi ndi mwansangala ndi kunena motere: “Musawope! Kukhala Mwana ndi kotetezeka. Ndi bwino kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu, kusangalala, kusangalala. Ndimakhala ndi inu nthawi zonse. Ndikukutetezani. Ndionetsetsa kuti palibe choipa chidzakuchitikireni. Tiyeni tikasewere limodzi!»

Tangoganizani momwe inu, Mwana, mumayankhira ndi chidaliro, momwe kuyiwalika kwachibwana kumverera kwa chidwi mu chirichonse mu dziko, kusasamala, chilakolako chosewera ndi kungokhala nokha kudzuka mu moyo wanu.

7. Yesetsani kuchita chinachake mumkhalidwe uwu, ndikulingalirabe momwe inu - Wamkulu - mosamala kugwira dzanja lanu - Mwana. Ingojambulani kapena kulemba chinachake, kuimba nyimbo, kuthirira duwa. Tiyerekeze kuti mukuchita zimenezi muli Mwana. Mutha kumverera bwino zomwe mwaiwala kwa nthawi yayitali, mukatha kukhala nokha, molunjika, otseguka, osasewera mbali iliyonse. Mudzamvetsetsa kuti Mwana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri la umunthu wanu, ndipo moyo wanu udzakhala wolemera kwambiri mumaganizo, wodzaza ndi wolemera ngati muvomereza Mwana wachibadwa monga gawo la umunthu wanu.

Zochita 7. Yang'anani Kholo kuchokera ku Kawonedwe ka Akuluakulu

Ngati simukumva kutopa, mutha kuchita izi mutangomaliza kumene. Ngati mwatopa kapena muli ndi zina zoti muchite, mutha kupuma pang'ono kapena kuyimitsa ntchitoyi tsiku lina.

1. Tengani cholembera ndi pepala ndipo lembani: «Mawonekedwe oipa a Kholo langa. Lembani zonse zomwe mungamvetse. Patsamba lina, lembani kuti: "Mawonekedwe abwino a Kholo langa" - komanso lembani zonse zomwe mukuzidziwa. Lembani zonse zomwe Makolo anu amachitira ndi ena komanso momwe amachitira kwa inu. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumadzidzudzula, kudzidzudzula nokha, izi ndizowonetseratu zoipa za Kholo, ndipo ngati mumadzisamalira nokha, izi ndizowonetseratu zabwino za Kholo.

2. Kenako lowetsani mkhalidwe wa Akuluakulu ndikuyerekeza kuti mukuyang'ana kunja kwa inu nokha ngati Kholo muzoyipa zake. Unikani kuchokera kumalingaliro a zenizeni zanu zamakono momwe mawonetseredwe otere ali okwanira. Mudzatha kumvetsa kuti samakubweretserani chilichonse chabwino. Kuti izi, zowona, sizili mawonetseredwe anu achibadwidwe, zidayikidwapo kwa inu kuchokera kunja ndipo zakhala chizolowezi chanu chomwe simuchifunanso. Zoonadi, kudzudzula ndi kudzidzudzula kuli ndi ubwino wanji? Kodi zimakuthandizani kuti mukhale bwino kapena kukonza zolakwika zanu? Ayi konse. Mumangogwera mu zolakwa zosafunikira ndikudzimva ngati simuli wabwino mokwanira, zomwe zimapweteka kudzidalira kwanu.

3. Tangoyerekezerani kuti mukuyang’ana zinthu zoipa zimene Kholo lanu likuchita ndi kunena motere: “Ayi, izi sizikundiyenereranso. Khalidweli limagwira ntchito motsutsana ndi ine. Ndikukana. Tsopano ndimasankha kuchita mosiyana, malinga ndi nthawiyo komanso kuti ndipindule. Tangoganizani kuti inu, Wamkulukulu, mutenga malo anu, Makolo, ndipo pamene mukuphunzira, mumachita kale ngati Mkulu: mumayang'ana momwe zinthu zilili mwanzeru ndipo, m'malo mochita zinthu mwachizoloŵezi, muzizindikira. kusankha (mwachitsanzo, m'malo modzidzudzula chifukwa cholakwitsa, mumayamba kuganizira za momwe mungakonzere ndikuchepetsa zotsatirapo zoyipa komanso momwe mungachitire nthawi ina kuti musadzachitenso cholakwikacho).

4. Mutakonza chisonyezero chimodzi kapena zingapo zoipa za Kholo lanu m’njira imeneyi, tsopano lingalirani kuti mukuyang’ana kunja ku zisonyezero zabwino za Kholo lanu. Ganizirani izi kuchokera pakuwona kwa Akuluakulu: chifukwa cha zabwino zawo zonse, kodi mawonetseredwe awa ndi osalamulirika, osazindikira? Kodi amadutsa malire a khalidwe labwino ndi lokwanira? Mwachitsanzo, kodi nkhawa yanu ndi yovuta kwambiri? Kodi muli ndi chizoloŵezi choyisewera motetezeka, kuyesa kupewa ngakhale ngozi yomwe palibe? Kodi mumachita, kuchokera mu zolinga zabwino kwambiri, zofuna ndi kudzikonda - zanu kapena za wina?

Tayerekezerani kuti ndinu Wachikulire, mukuthokoza Kholo lanu chifukwa chokuthandizani ndi kukusamalirani ndipo mumagwirizana nalo pa mgwirizano. Kuyambira pano, mudzasankha limodzi chithandizo ndi chisamaliro chomwe mukufuna komanso chomwe simukufuna, ndipo ufulu wosankha chisankho pano udzakhala wa Wamkulu.

Zitha kuchitika kuti simupeza mawonetseredwe abwino a Kholo mwa inu nokha. Izi zimachitika ngati mwanayo ali wamng'ono sanawone malingaliro abwino kuchokera kwa makolo kapena malingaliro awo abwino adadziwonetsera mwanjira ina yosavomerezeka kwa iye. Pankhaniyi, muyenera kuphunziranso momwe mungadzisamalire nokha komanso kudzithandizira nokha. Muyenera kulenga ndi kulera mwa inu nokha Kholo lotereli lomwe lingathe kukukondani moona mtima, kukhululukira, kumvetsetsa, kukuchitirani mwachikondi ndi chisamaliro. Tayerekezerani kuti inuyo mudzakhala kholo labwino kwambiri kwa inu nokha. M’maganizo muuzeni chinthu chonga ichi (m’malo mwa Wamkulu): “Ndizosangalatsa kwambiri kudzichitira nokha mokoma mtima, mwachikondi, mwachisamaliro, mwachikondi ndi momvetsetsa. Tiyeni tiphunzire izi pamodzi. Kuyambira lero ndili ndi Kholo labwino koposa, lachifundo, lachikondi koposa lomwe limandimvetsa, londivomereza, londikhululukira, londichirikiza ndi kundithandiza pa chilichonse. Ndipo ndionetsetsa kuti chithandizochi chikhale cha ubwino wanga nthawi zonse.”

Bwerezani izi kwa nthawi yayitali momwe mungafunikire kuti mumve kuti mwakhala kholo lanu lokoma mtima komanso losamala. Kumbukirani: mpaka mutakhala Kholo loterolo kwa inu nokha, simungathe kukhala kholo labwino kwa ana anu m’chenicheni. Choyamba tiyenera kuphunzira kudzisamalira tokha, kukhala okoma mtima ndi omvetsetsa kwa ife tokha—ndipo pokhapo tingakhale otero kwa ena.

Zindikirani kuti mukamafufuza Mwana wanu wamkati, Kholo ndi Wamkulu, palibe kugawanika kwa umunthu wanu mu magawo atatu mwa inu. M'malo mwake, mukamagwira ntchito kwambiri ndi zigawozi, zimaphatikizana kwambiri. Zinali kale, pamene Kholo ndi Mwana wanu anachita zinthu zokha, mosazindikira, kupitirira mphamvu yanu, simunali munthu wamba, monga kuti munali mbali zingapo zowombana kosatha ndi zotsutsana. Tsopano, pamene mupereka ulamuliro kwa Wamkulu, mumakhala munthu wathunthu, wogwirizana, wogwirizana.

Mukapereka ulamuliro kwa Wamkulu, mumakhala munthu wathunthu, wogwirizana, wogwirizana.