Nthano ya «zoipa» ndi «zabwino» maganizo

"Osadandaula". Timamva mawu awa kuyambira tili ana kuchokera kwa achibale, aphunzitsi ndi akunja omwe amawona nkhawa zathu. Ndipo timapeza malangizo oyamba amomwe tingachitire ndi kukhumudwa. Ndiko kuti, ziyenera kupewedwa. Koma chifukwa chiyani?

malangizo oipa abwino

Njira yabwino yodzimvera chisoni imasonyeza kuti zonsezi ndi zofunika kuti pakhale mgwirizano wamaganizo. Kutengeka ndi ma beacon omwe amapereka chizindikiro: ndizowopsa pano, ndizomasuka pamenepo, mutha kupanga mabwenzi ndi munthu uyu, koma ndi bwino kusamala. Kuphunzira kuwazindikira kuli kofunika kwambiri kwakuti nkodabwitsanso chifukwa chake sukulu sinayambitsebe kosi ya kuŵerenga ndi kuŵerenga maganizo.

Kodi kwenikweni zoipa malangizo - «osadandaula»? Timazinena ndi zolinga zabwino. Tikufuna kuthandiza. Ndipotu, chithandizo choterocho chimangopangitsa munthu kusiya kudzimvetsetsa. Kukhulupirira mphamvu zamatsenga za «musade nkhawa» kumachokera pa lingaliro lakuti malingaliro ena ali olakwika mosadziwika bwino ndipo sayenera kukhala nawo.

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Peter Breggin, m’buku lake lakuti Guilt, Shame, and Anxiety, amatiphunzitsa kunyalanyaza zimene amazitcha “kutengeka maganizo kolakwika.” Monga katswiri wa zamaganizo, Breggin nthawi zonse amawona anthu omwe amadziimba mlandu pa chirichonse, amavutika ndi manyazi ndi nkhawa kwamuyaya.

N’zoona kuti amafuna kuwathandiza. Ichi ndi chikhumbo cha munthu. Koma, poyesa kutulutsa zoyipazo, Breggin amadziwonetsera okha zomwe akumana nazo.

Zinyalala mkati, zinyalala kunja

Tikamagawanitsa malingaliro athu kukhala abwino (ndipo ofunikira) ndi olakwika (osafunikira), timadzipeza tili mumkhalidwe womwe opanga mapulogalamu amatcha "Garbage in, Garbage Out" (GIGO mwachidule). Ngati mulowetsa mzere wolakwika wa code mu pulogalamu, sizigwira ntchito kapena zidzataya zolakwika.

Mkhalidwe wa "Garbage in, garbage out" umachitika tikamayika malingaliro olakwika angapo okhudza malingaliro. Ngati muli nazo, mosakayika mungasokonezedwe ndi malingaliro anu komanso opanda luso lamalingaliro.

1. Nthano ya valency ya zomverera: pamene tikuyimira kumverera kulikonse ponena za kukhala kokondweretsa kapena kosasangalatsa, kaya kuli kofunikira kwa ife kapena ayi.

2. Kulephera kugwira ntchito ndi malingaliro: pamene tikhulupirira kuti malingaliro ayenera kuponderezedwa kapena kufotokozedwa. Sitikudziwa momwe tingafufuzire malingaliro omwe amatiphimba, ndipo timayesetsa kuchotsa mwamsanga.

3. Kunyalanyaza mwanzeru: pamene sitikumvetsa kuti kutengeka kulikonse kumakhala ndi mphamvu zambiri. Ngati timanyansidwa ndi ntchito yatsopano, sizikutanthauza kuti tinasankha molakwika ndipo tiyenera kuisiya nthawi yomweyo.

4.Kupepuka: pamene sitikuzindikira kuti malingaliro angapo amatha kukhala nawo nthawi imodzi, akhoza kukhala otsutsana, ndipo ichi si chifukwa chokayikira thanzi lathu lamaganizo.

Nthano ya valency ya maganizo

Kutengeka maganizo ndiko kuyankha kwa psyche ku zokopa zakunja ndi zamkati. Mwa iwo okha, iwo si abwino kapena oipa. Amangogwira ntchito inayake yofunika kuti munthu akhale ndi moyo. M’dziko lamakonoli, kaŵirikaŵiri sitiyenera kumenyera moyo m’lingaliro lenileni, ndipo tikuyesera kulamulira malingaliro osayenera. Koma ena amapita patsogolo, kuyesera kuchotseratu moyo zomwe zimabweretsa zosasangalatsa.

Posintha malingaliro athu kukhala oipa ndi abwino, timalekanitsa malingaliro athu mwachinyengo ndi momwe adawonekera. Ziribe kanthu kuti takhumudwa chifukwa chiyani, chofunikira ndichakuti tiziwoneka owawa pakudya kwamadzulo.

M'malo azamalonda, mawonetseredwe amalingaliro omwe amalumikizidwa ndi kupambana amayamikiridwa kwambiri: kudzoza, chidaliro, bata. M'malo mwake, chisoni, nkhawa ndi mantha zimaonedwa ngati chizindikiro cha wotayika.

Njira yakuda ndi yoyera yamalingaliro imasonyeza kuti "zoipa" ziyenera kumenyedwa (poziletsa kapena, mosiyana, kuzilola kuti zitsanulire), ndipo "zabwino" ziyenera kukulitsidwa mwa iyemwini kapena, poipitsitsa, chithunzi. Koma chifukwa chake, izi ndizomwe zimatsogolera ku ofesi ya psychotherapist: sitingathe kupirira kulemedwa ndi zochitika zoponderezedwa ndipo sitingathe kudziwa zomwe timamva.

Njira Yachifundo

Kukhulupirira zoipa ndi zabwino kumapangitsa kukhala kovuta kuzindikira kufunika kwake. Mwachitsanzo, mantha abwino amatilepheretsa kuchita zinthu zosafunika. Kuda nkhawa ndi thanzi kungakuchititseni kusiya kudya zakudya zopanda thanzi komanso kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Mkwiyo umakuthandizani kuti muyimire ufulu wanu, ndipo manyazi amakuthandizani kuyendetsa bwino khalidwe lanu ndikugwirizanitsa zokhumba zanu ndi zokhumba za ena.

Kuyesera kudzutsa malingaliro mwa ife tokha popanda chifukwa, timaphwanya malamulo awo achilengedwe. Mwachitsanzo, mtsikana adzakwatiwa, koma amakayikira kuti amakonda wosankhidwa wakeyo ndipo adzamukonda m’tsogolo. Komabe amadzinyengerera kuti: “Amandinyamula m’manja mwake. Ndiyenera kukhala wokondwa. Zonse izi ndi zachabechabe.” Kuyesera kufooketsa malingaliro, sitiwachotsa. Timadziphunzitsa tokha kuti tisamamvere mwachibadwa komanso kuti tisayese kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi zomwezo.

Njira yachifundo imatanthauza kuti timavomereza kutengeka ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa nkhani yomwe idayambira. Kodi zikukhudza mmene mulili panopa? Kodi china chake chakuvutani, chakukhumudwitsani, kapena choopsa? N’chifukwa chiyani mukuona choncho? Kodi mukumva ngati zomwe mwakumana nazo kale? Podzifunsa tokha mafunso, titha kumvetsetsa mozama za zomwe zachitika ndikuzipangitsa kuti zitigwire ntchito.

Za Katswiri: Carla McLaren ndi wofufuza za chikhalidwe cha anthu, wopanga chiphunzitso cha Dynamic Emotional Integration, komanso wolemba The Art of Chifundo: Momwe Mungagwiritsire Ntchito Luso Lanu Lofunika Kwambiri pa Moyo Wanu.