Toks, narts, pervers: momwe chinenero chatsopano cha malo ochezera a pa Intaneti chimakhudzira zowawa zathu

Malo ochezera a pa Intaneti anatipatsa mwayi osati wongolankhulana ndi anzathu akale a m’kalasi komanso achibale ochokera kumadera akumidzi, komanso kupeza magulu achidwi akangodina kamodzi. Ndichizindikiro cha nthawi yathu kuti pali magulu ambiri othandizira omwe avutika muubwenzi wachikondi. Ali ndi malamulo awoawo olankhulirana, ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhala okhwima, komanso ngakhale mawu awo.

Polowa m'gulu limodzi mwamagulu awa, mudzalandira chithandizo ndi chifundo. Koma kodi kukhala m’gulu lokha kungatipulumutse ku mabala amaganizo amene timalandira chifukwa cha chikondi? Ndipo anthu omwe amalankhula chinenerocho amawathandiza bwanji kulimbana ndi chisoni, koma panthawi imodzimodziyo ndipo nthawi zina amalepheretsa kukula kwawo?

Pamashelefu

Kulowetsa mawu akuti "narcissist wopotozedwa" mu bar yofufuzira, timapeza zinthu zambiri zatsatanetsatane zomwe zili ndi makhalidwe a anthu oterowo. Ndipo nthawi zambiri mafotokozedwewa amasiyana wina ndi mzake, ngati kuti tikukamba za anthu osiyanasiyana. Kodi pali chinthu chonga "narcissus wopotozedwa" mu psychology yovomerezeka? Nanga liwu lakuti “wokhota” limatanthauza chiyani kwenikweni?

“Motero, palibe lingaliro la “wosokoneza maganizo” m’maganizo asayansi,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Anastasia Dolganova. - Otto Kernberg, yemwe masiku ano akhoza kuonedwa kuti ndi wofufuza wofunika kwambiri wa narcissism ndi tate wa chinenero cha sayansi chomwe chodabwitsachi chikufotokozedwa, ali ndi mawu akuti "benign narcissism" ndi "narcissism yoopsa."

Malignant narcissism, mosiyana narcissism yabwino, ndizovuta kukonza ndikupita patsogolo. Munthu amene akudwala matendawa amakayikira kwambiri, ndipo zimafika poganiza kuti: "Mukuchita chilichonse kuti ndivutike kwambiri." Mucikozyanyo cabubi, bantu balakonzya kubikkila maano kujatikizya bamwi, nokuba kuti bakali kuyanda kuzipa. Anthu oterowo amadziŵika ndi kusaona mtima ndi chisoni chenicheni, chosonyezedwa mwaukali ndi chipambano chamwano cholunjikitsidwa kwa munthu wina.

Mtundu uwu wa narcissism umangodziwika ngati wokhotakhota (kuchokera ku mawu akuti «kupotoza» - kupotoza, kupotoza). Kuipa kwa nkhanza za narcissism ndi chizoloŵezi, ngakhale mosadziwa, chosintha chabwino kukhala choipa kupyolera mu zolankhula ndi khalidwe. Ndi maonekedwe ake, chikondi chimasanduka chidani, ubwino kukhala choipa, mphamvu kukhala chopanda pake.

Choncho, kupotoza ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za narcissism yoopsa: vuto lalikulu lomwe limasokoneza ntchito, thanzi, ndi maubwenzi.

Koma ndi anthu angati omwe ali ndi zinthu zofanana ndi ife? Kapena kodi izi ndizosiyana ndi lamulo?

Anastasia Dolganova akufotokoza kuti: "Nkhawa zankhanza ndizosowa kwenikweni, makamaka pokumana ndi anthu tsiku ndi tsiku: moyo womwe anthu omwe ali ndi vuto lachiwerewere amatha kuwagoneka m'chipatala, kumangidwa kapena kuphedwa," akufotokoza motero Anastasia Dolganova.

Pa mlingo

"Kuti tifotokoze momveka bwino za chilankhulo cha sayansi cha narcissism, ndi bwino kutchula mawu akuti" mlingo wa umunthu wogwira ntchito," katswiri wa zamaganizo akutero. - Miyezo iyi ndi yosiyana: neurotic, borderline ndi psychotic. Iwo amasiyana wina ndi mzake mu mlingo wa kuopsa kwa kuphwanya ndi mlingo wa anatengera munthu ku dziko lakunja.

Anthu omwe ali ndi dongosolo la neurotic nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi malingaliro abwino, amatha kudzipatula okha ndi omwe amawazungulira komanso momwe akumvera, ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhala "zenizeni". Sadziŵika ndi khalidwe ndi kaganizidwe kosayenera. Anthu a Neurotic amayesa kukonza ubale ndi dziko lapansi ndi ena ndipo amatha (nthawi zina ngakhale kwambiri) kudzidzudzula.

Mlingo wa psychotic wa umunthu umadziwika ndi kutayika kwa umunthu, kusalumikizana ndi zenizeni. Pamene tikukhalamo, sitingathe kudzitsutsa tokha. Psychosis, kuganiza mopanda nzeru ndi khalidwe, delirium - zonsezi zikhoza kukhala, panthawiyi, ngakhale osazindikirika ndi ena. Komabe, kuwonongeka kwa mkati, kusokonezeka kwa umunthu kumawonekera m'moyo wa munthu m'njira zosiyanasiyana.

Mulingo wamalire wa bungwe la umunthu ndi njira yapakatikati pakati pa psychotic ndi neurotic. Zake «eni» amaponyedwa kuchokera ku monyanyira kupita kwina. Ngakhale kuti «alonda a m'malire» ali ndi mavuto ndi kudziwika, iwo amadziwa kuti alipo. Savutika ndi chinyengo ndi kuyerekezera zinthu m’maganizo ndipo amakhalabe ogwirizana ndi zenizeni, koma sangadziŵe bwino lomwe zimene zikuchitika kwa iwo.

"Zizoloŵezi zopotoza zenizeni zidzadziwonetsera okha pamagulu onse, koma kupotoza ndi khalidwe lakumapeto ndi psychotic ntchito," akuwonjezera Anastasia Dolganova.

Dzina sister!

Tikudziwa kuti matendawa amatha kupangidwa ndi dokotala yemwe amalankhulana yekha ndi wodwalayo. Komabe, mamembala onse a magulu othandizira ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo nthawi zambiri amapanga "kuzindikira ndi avatar." Monga, mukufuna chiyani, iye ndithudi ndi narcissist. Koma kodi n’zotheka kudziŵa mwa kulongosola kuti munthu ali ndi vuto linalake la umunthu, motsogozedwa ndi malongosoledwe achidule?

"Pokhapokha ndi zizindikiro zakunja - ayi, mwa kuyang'anitsitsa khalidwe, kulankhula, zochita, mbiri ya moyo - inde, koma si zophweka," anatero Anastasia Dolganova. "Tsopano tili pachimake cha kutchuka kwa narcissism, chifukwa chake chilichonse chomwe chimawoneka chowawa, chosakwanira kapena chowononga chimatchedwa "narcissism."

Ndipotu, pali matenda ambiri a umunthu ndi zina zosokoneza maganizo. Ndipo aliyense wa iwo, pamalire ake kapena psychotic mlingo, kumabweretsa mavuto ambiri ubale. Pali schizoid, paranoid, depressive and manic characters, hysteria ndi zina zotero. Katswiri wa zamaganizo amagwiritsa ntchito zida zopangidwira mwapadera kuti azindikire, ndipo chidziwitso chake chimamulola kusiyanitsa matenda amodzi ndi ena. Kuzindikira koteroko ndikofunikira kwambiri, chifukwa kusokonezeka kwa umunthu kumasiyanasiyana, ndipo motero, njira zosiyanasiyana zothandizira. ”

Kodi katswiri wa zamaganizo, osatchula "anzako" mu gulu lothandizira, angadziwe ngati mnzanuyo ndi wamatsenga kapena ayi? "Ndi ntchito yovuta yotereyi yowunikira, sikuli bwino komanso kopanda nzeru kuti katswiri wa zamaganizo alankhule za narcissism kutali. M'malo mwake, sing'anga angazindikire kuti zomwe kasitomala akufotokoza ndizofanana ndi zomwe mnzakeyo amachita, ndikuwuzanso zambiri za zomwe zili."

Zazikulu ndi zokongola

Pali lingaliro lakuti munthu wa narcissist alidi munthu wopanda chifundo yemwe samamvetsetsa konse kuti akuvulaza wina ndi khalidwe lake. Ndi choncho?

"Makhalidwe a narcissistic amakhala ndi zovuta zina pakumvera chisoni. Chimene chimachititsa kuti munthu asamavutike maganizo kwambiri ndi kudzikonda,” akufotokoza motero Anastasia Dolganova. - Zozungulira zimasangalatsa munthu ngati mawonekedwe awo kapena ntchito zawo, osati ngati anthu osiyana omwe amamva zomwe narcissist mwiniwake samakumana nazo. Komabe, pamlingo wogwirira ntchito, umunthu wa narcissistic ukhoza kukulitsa chifundo: umabwera ndi zaka, chidziwitso, kapena chithandizo.

Nthawi zina anthu abwino amachita zinthu zoipa. Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti iwo ndi a narcissists ndi sociopaths? Kodi pali upandu uliwonse m’kuchepetsa umunthu wonse wa munthu kukhala mikhalidwe yoipa?

"Ponena za anthu ndi zochita zawo, ndi bwino, mwa lingaliro langa, kugwiritsa ntchito mfundo za msinkhu wa ntchito ya munthu," akutero katswiri. Chochita choipa chenicheni chikhoza kuchitidwa ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi khalidwe lamtundu uliwonse, yemwe ali pamalire kapena psychotic mlingo wa ntchito. Neurotics nthawi zambiri samachita zinthu zoyipa kwambiri. Ndipo kunena, mwachitsanzo, kuti “iye ndi munthu wabwino, koma wogona ana” n’zopanda nzeru!

Nkhani ya moyo wa munthu, imene pali kuphwanya malamulo mobwerezabwereza, zochita zosayenera, chiwonongeko cha maubwenzi, kosatha kusintha ntchito, si nkhani ya narcissism monga choncho, koma za mlingo malire a umunthu bungwe - mwina malire narcissism.

Poizoni kwa moyo

Mawu akuti «poizoni ubwenzi» anabwera kwa ife posachedwapa. Kugawa kwake kuli ndi kuphatikiza kosagwirizana: tsopano titha kulengeza kuti tili paubwenzi wamavuto osapita mwatsatanetsatane. Komabe, zikuwoneka kuti tikuyesera kugwirizanitsa chirichonse mu lingaliro ili. Ndi chithandizo chake, amafotokoza nkhani zonse za nkhanza zenizeni, komanso milandu yomwe mnzake, chifukwa cha mawonekedwe ake, sadziwa momwe angayankhulire malingaliro ake kapena kuchita mosasamala-mwamwano. Ndipo chifukwa chake mawuwo akuwoneka kuti akufalikira ndipo tsopano ali ndi malo omwe amangokhala ndi malingaliro athu okha.

"Ubale wapoizoni" ndi mawu a psychology otchuka, nthawi zambiri sagwiritsidwa ntchito mu sayansi yovomerezeka, akufotokoza Anastasia Dolganova. - Iwo anaonekera pambuyo kumasulira kwa buku Susan Forward a «Poizoni Makolo» mu Russian. Bukhulo likufotokoza za unansi woterowo pakati pa mwana ndi kholo, m’mene maziko a maunansi m’banja, m’malo mwa chikondi ndi chichirikizo, ndiwo utumiki, kuyesa mobwerezabwereza kuchititsa manyazi, kudyera masuku pamutu, kunyozetsa, ndi kuimba mlandu.

Ubwenzi wapoizoni uli, m’lingaliro wamba, unansi wa nkhanza za m’maganizo mmene mwana amamukonda koma samamkonda. Paubwenzi wa akulu awiri, mawuwo samawoneka olondola: pambuyo pake, palibe ntchito komanso kufunikira kokhala pafupi ndi amene amakuphani. Palibe kusiyana mu udindo wa Wamkulu (udindo) - Mwana (wozunzidwa wosalakwa).

Ndiye kodi m'pofunika kutchula ubale uliwonse poizoni amene timamva zoipa pazifukwa zina, ngati tikulankhula za anthu okhwima? Kapena ndi bwino kuyesa kupewa masitampu ndikumvetsetsa momwe zinthu zilili?

“Kunena kuti, ‘Kunali ubwenzi woipa’ kumatanthauza kunena kuti: ‘Anali woipa, ndipo ndinavutika naye. Kunena kuti "ubwenzi uwu unali woipa" kumatanthauza kuti musakane kudzifunsa mafunso ofunika okhudza zomwe zimayambitsa ndi zotsatira za zomwe zinachitika," katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi wotsimikiza. “Anthu oipa amachitikadi, ndi zoona. Ndikukhulupirira kuti kumvetsetsa ndi kuzindikira izi ndi ntchito yaikulu ya chikhalidwe cha nthawi yathu. Koma vuto la maubwenzi oipa ndi lozama kwambiri kuposa mfundo yosatsutsika imeneyi. Masitampu sayenera kutilepheretsa kufufuza moyo wathu komanso malingaliro athu.

Mawu atsopano, ndondomeko yatsopano

Kwa iwo omwe amakambidwa m'magulu othandizira, chinenero chawo chimapangidwa: "toks" (anthu oopsa), "narcis" (daffodils), "stumps" (madaffodils opotoka). Kodi mawu atsopanowa ndi a chiyani? Kodi tingadzithandize bwanji ngati titchula dzina lonyozeka kwa munthu amene watikhumudwitsa?

“Ndikuganiza kuti uku n’kungofuna kuchotsera ulemu amene anatibweretsera mavuto. Kutsika kwamtengo wapatali ndi imodzi mwa njira zodzitetezera zomwe zimafunikira pamene malingaliro omwe timakumana nawo ali amphamvu kwambiri ndipo tilibe luso lofunikira kuti tithane nawo mokwanira, anatero Anastasia Dolganova. “Ndiponso, maunansi ndi umunthu wankhanza amadzutsadi malingaliro amphamvu ambiri: zowawa, mkwiyo, liwongo ndi manyazi, kusowa mphamvu, chisokonezo, nthawi zambiri chisoni chawo ndi chipambano. Izi zimadzutsa mafunso ambiri kwa munthu za momwe angathanirane nazo tsopano - ponse paubwenzi ndi mnzanu komanso muubwenzi ndi inu nokha.

Ndipo sialiyense amene ali wokonzeka kukumana ndi mafunso amenewa atangolowa mumkhalidwe womvetsa chisoni. Zomwezo zimachitika mu chithandizo: kugwira ntchito ndi kasitomala yemwe adakumana ndi ubale woterewu, katswiri amayesa kumuthandiza, kumumvera chisoni.

Nchifukwa chiyani tsopano magulu odzipereka ku "stumps", "toxes" ndi mitundu yonse ya "opotoza" ali otchuka kwambiri? Kodi sitinakumane nawo kale?

"Perverznik" ndi chithunzi chofala kwambiri komanso chauchiwanda kwambiri, - Anastasia Dolganova amakhulupirira. - Iye ali ngati stereotypical monga zithunzi, mwachitsanzo, za hysterics, amene ankatchedwa aliyense mzere mu nthawi Freud. Kunja kwa psychology, zithunzi zofananira ziliponso: ma suffragette kumapeto kwa zaka za zana la XNUMX, achikominisi m'ma XNUMX. Kunena zowona, iyi ndi njira yakale yodziwira ena.

"Perverznik" ndi chizindikiro cha nthawi yathu. Masiku ano, anthu akuyesera kuzindikira ndi kufotokozera nkhanza, chiwawa, poizoni mu maubwenzi ndikupanga malamulo atsopano kuti aziwongolera. Ndizomveka kuti timayamba ndi zithunzi zakale - monga ana omwe amadziwitsidwa ku ma cubes ndi mapiramidi. Chithunzichi chili kutali ndi zovuta zenizeni, koma zofanana ndi izo.

Kodi munthu amaphonya chiyani, amene amayang'ana kwambiri umunthu wa bwenzi lake ndi kufotokoza zochita zake ndi makhalidwe omwe ali mwa wina? Kodi pali malo osawona omwe sawona mwa ena kapena mwa iye mwini?

"Madontho osawona pachithunzichi amakhudza umunthu wa narcissistic, ndi ubale wa narcissistic, ndi wozunzidwa wa narcissist," katswiri wa zamaganizo akutero. "Awa ndi mafunso ovuta, mayankho omwe muyenera kuyang'ana ngati mukufuna kusintha njira yolumikizirana ndi ena. Mwachitsanzo, narcissism ndi chiyani? Kodi narcissists ndi okhawo omwe amawononga? Kodi narcissism imakula pansi pamikhalidwe yotani, imachepa bwanji?

Kodi mwana amaleredwa bwanji, kuti umunthu wake umasokonezedwa mwanjira imeneyi? Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani muubwenzi wa narcissistic? N’chifukwa chiyani ndili ndi mwamuna wankhanza, mwana wankhanza, zibwenzi zachikazi, ndiponso anzanga ogwira nawo ntchito? Kodi ndili ndi narcissism mwa ine ndekha, ndipo ngati ndi choncho, imadziwonetsera bwanji? N’chifukwa chiyani ndimadana ndi munthu amene amandichitira zoipa? Bwanji sindingathe kuchoka? Nanga n’cifukwa ciani moyo wanga sunakhale bwino cibwenzi citatha?”

Titha kupeza mayankho ngati tisintha malingaliro athu kuchokera kunja kupita kwamkati, kuchokera kwa bwenzi kapena bwenzi kupita kwa ife tokha.

"Kuchepetsa mnzako wokhala ndi nkhani zonyoza monyoza ndi njira yosavuta yopewera ululu," adatero katswiri wa zamaganizo. “Kupyolera m’malingaliro ndi mikhalidwe yoipitsitsa, iye adzatithandizadi kupirira. Kupatula apo, akamanena za njira zosavuta ndi ndendende thandizo pazovuta kwambiri (mwachitsanzo, pamene muyenera kusankha kusiya ubale ndi sadist). Koma alibe zotsatira zachitukuko.

Kubwereza ndi mayi wa kuphunzira?

Magulu omwe amakambirana za «opotoza» ndi «poizoni» ali odzaza ndi anthu omwe adakumanapo ndi nkhani zowopsa. Ambiri a iwo amafunikiradi chithandizo. Ndipo ndi pankhani ya "thandizo loyamba" kuti madera oterowo amadziwonetsera okha.

"Magulu othandizira ali ndi ntchito yofunikira: amapatsa munthu mwayi wodziwa zomwe zikuchitika kwa iye. Amamuchirikiza m’nthaŵi zovuta kwambiri za moyo wake,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo. - Monga ndanenera pamwambapa, njira zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito pothandizira zoterezi ziyenera kukhala zosavuta, zachikale, chifukwa munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto lalikulu sangathe kugwiritsa ntchito zida zovuta. Chifukwa chake - kuchita ziwanda, kufewetsa, kuchotsa mafunso ndi malingaliro osafunikira: "Ndiwe wabwino - iye ndi woyipa."

Pali kumverera kuti maguluwa amapereka chiyembekezo chabodza: ​​Ndingobwereza nkhani yanga nthawi zambiri, kukhala ndi ena pachisoni chawo - ndipo izi zidzadziwongolera. Koma kodi palibe chinthu choopsa ndi chowononga umunthu m’kulankhula kosalekeza kumeneku, kuwira m’madzi ake?

"Pakapita nthawi, kwa munthu amene akufuna kupita patsogolo, gweroli limakhala losakwanira: ndi malingaliro a dziko lapansi, chirichonse padziko lapansi chikuwoneka ngati choopsa kapena chosayenera," akutsindika Anastasia Dolganova. - Nthawi zambiri anthu amasiya pang'onopang'ono chidwi pazokambirana mkati mwa gulu, kulemba zochepa, kupereka ndemanga zochepa. Ali ndi ntchito zina kuwonjezera pa kutuluka m'mavuto awo, ndipo malo opweteka kwambiri a malowa amakhala osasangalatsa kwa iwo.

Iwo omwe amakhalapo amakonda kukakamira mu gawo la mkwiyo ndi kutsika mtengo. Kutsatira chithunzi chomveka bwino komanso chosavuta cha dziko lapansi, amaletsa njira yawo yopita ku ufulu. Iwo samapitirira chifukwa samakhudza malingaliro awo ovuta, ndipo popanda kukula kwaumwini sikutheka. Panthawi ina, njira yopulumukira kwambiri iyenera kusinthidwa ndi njira zogwira mtima ngati tikufuna kukhala ndi moyo mokwanira osati kugweranso mu nkhani zoterezi.

Ngati tipitirizabe kukhala m'gulu lothandizira, koma palibe kusintha m'moyo, ngakhale kuti nkhaniyo nthawi zonse imamveka komanso chifundo cha ena, ngati tikuwona kuti "tikucheza", ndi bwino kuganizira njira yothandizira. kwa ife tokha.

Pewani njira zosavuta

Kusanthula zolemba zapagulu za tag "narcissus" kapena "tox" kungatipangitse kumva bwino. Vutoli timalipatsa dzina, ndipo lingathe kuchepetsa kuvutika kwathu kwakanthawi.

Anastasia Dolganova anakumbukira kuti: “Kuchepetsa umunthu wa munthu n’kukhala ndi makhalidwe oipa n’kosavomerezeka kwa dokotala. — Koma kwa munthu amene ali paubwenzi wowononga, panthaŵi ina kuchita ziwanda koteroko kwa mnzanu kungakhale kothandiza. Mantha ndi mkwiyo umene umadza ndi kuona winayo kukhala woipa kotheratu, kukhumudwa, ndi kutsika mtengo zingathandize kuthetsa chibwenzi. Ngati zonsezi palibe, munthu adzalepheretsedwa ndi chikondi, kulakwa, chinyengo, zifukwa za wina, ndi zina zotero. Ndipo n’kwabwinobe kutuluka muubwenzi wowononga kusiyana ndi kukhalabe m’maubwenziwo. ”

Komabe, ntchitoyi siyenera kuthera pamenepo: pali chiopsezo chachikulu kuti tidzakhala ndi vuto lofanana ndi bwenzi latsopano - kapena kubwereranso kwa "tox" wokondedwa wathu.

“Kuopsa kwa pano ndi kuchedwa m’njira imeneyi,” akuchenjeza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo. - Iwo amene devalue ndi zambiri idealize - mnzako wakale pa nthawi (ndi kubwerera kwa iye) kapena bwenzi latsopano, osaona zizindikiro zoopsa mwa iye ndi kuvomereza ubwenzi kuti akhoza kukhala ofanana ndi m'mbuyomo. Lingaliro lakuya la anthu, lomwe silingathe "kuzindikira ziwanda", limalola kusankha koyenera komanso koyenera.