Wozunzidwa kapena wowawa: momwe angasiyire zomwe zimachitika nthawi zonse pamkangano

Chilengedwe chimatiphunzitsa kumenyera chidutswa chachikulu, «kudyana» wina ndi mnzake, ndipo nthawi yomweyo anthu amayitanitsa kutsatira malamulo. Pamapeto pake, mkangano uwu umatigawanitsa: timayesetsa kusonyeza zikhumbo zovomerezeka ndi anthu, ndipo timadziunjikira ndikubisala maganizo ena - ngakhale kwa ife eni. Koma aliyense amadziwa momwe nkhani za anthu oleza mtima zimathera: kaya ndi kudziwononga kapena kuwononga ena.

Zoona zake n’zakuti m’kupita kwa nthawi zinthu zimene anazisonkhanitsazo zimadutsa. Ngati adutsa, nthawi zambiri amatenga mawonekedwe a matenda a psychosomatic. Kumene kuli kowonda, kumasweka pamenepo: mwachitsanzo, mtima sungathe kulimbana nawo. Ngati malingaliro olakwika osonkhanitsidwa amayamba, ndiye kuti omwe ali pafupi amavutika, ndi omwe sangathe kuyankha kapena kudziteteza - kawirikawiri ana ndi nyama.

Lars von Trier anachita ntchito yaikulu yojambula chikhalidwe cha nkhanza za anthu ku Dogville. Khalidwe lake lalikulu, Grace wachichepere, atathawa gulu la zigawenga, amapeza chipulumutso m'tawuni yaying'ono. Anthu am'deralo ndi amodzi okongola kuposa ena! wokonzeka kumubisa. Ndipo safuna kubweza kalikonse. Chabwino, kupatula kuthandiza panyumba kapena kuyang'anira ana. Koma pang'onopang'ono Dogville wokongola amasandulika kukhala chipinda chozunzirapo mtsikanayo.

Kodi chingachitike n’chiyani ngati mwala wa nsapato sunatikwiyitse? Titha kukhala wozunzidwa wodzichepetsa yemwe amavomereza kukhalapo kwa mwala uwu, kupirira zowawa, kuletsa mayendedwe ake ndipo, chifukwa chake, amafa imfa yowawa ngati mwala umayambitsa sepsis. Momwe mungakhalire pamzere wopyapyala, womwe kumanzere kwake ndi nsembe, ndipo kumanja ndi nkhanza?

Momwe mungamvetsetse kuti tasanduka ozunzidwa ndi nkhanza

Kuti tidziŵe kuti ndewu yowononga ikupita kwa ife, m’pofunika kudalira mmene tikumvera ndi kumvetsera maganizo athu. Iyi ndi imodzi mwa njira zofulumira komanso zodalirika zoyendetsera vutoli. Zomverera ndi mbali yofunika ya moyo wathu. Ndiwo amene amatipatsa chidziwitso cha dziko lotizungulira ndikuzindikira kuti chinachake chalakwika, kuti tili pangozi. Kutha kuzindikira malingaliro anu ndi a ena, komanso kuwongolera malingaliro anu, kumatchedwa luntha lamalingaliro.

Mutha kukumana ndi nkhanza zowononga ngati mukumva izi:

Kusokonezeka

Mumaona kuti mwasokonekera: simudziwa kopita, mukuyang'ana mopanda cholinga, muli muufunga. Palibe zomveka komanso zowonekera. "Mwazimitsidwa" kuchoka pamayendedwe amoyo, opanda thandizo komanso othedwa nzeru. Mungakonde kulabadira zolankhula kapena zochita za ena, koma pokhala muli chibwibwi, mulibe mwayi woterowo.

nkhawa

Kukhalapo kwa munthu wina kumakupangitsani kuti musamayende bwino - mumakhala ndi nkhawa, mwinanso kunjenjemera pang'ono. Komanso pali zilakolako ziwiri zotsutsana - nthawi yomweyo mumawoneka kuti mumakopeka ndi munthu, koma nthawi yomweyo amakanidwa kwa iye. Mumamvetsetsa kuti, mwachiwonekere, mudalakwitsa powunika momwe zinthu zilili panopa komanso udindo wanu mmenemo.

Kupanikizika komwe kumasanduka kusakhutira

Mumaona kuti simunakonzekeretu chifukwa chakuti munthu sakukwaniritsa malonjezo amene munalonjeza ndipo zimene mukuyembekezera sizikukwaniritsidwa. Mverani momwe maloto amathetsedwa, ndipo chiyembekezo chikutha. Dziwani kuti mukulora wina kukudyerani masuku pamutu.

Kodi mungatani ngati mwakhala wozunzidwa?

Kutuluka mu "bwalo laukali" kudzatithandiza kukhulupirira malingaliro athu, kulimbitsa malingaliro athu pa zomwe zikuchitika komanso zochitika zabwino za mgwirizano ndi anthu ena.

N'chifukwa chiyani muyenera kulimbikitsa maganizo anu? Makasitomala anga ambiri sanathe kulimbana ndi nkhanza zoopsa chifukwa chosadzidalira. Ndiiko komwe, kaŵirikaŵiri timapeputsa zokumana nazo zathu, kuganiza kuti: “Zinkawoneka kwa ine.” Koma tifunika kumva zimene timauzidwa komanso mmene timauzila. Imvani zimene tikunena.

Chofunikira kwambiri ndi chidziwitso cha mgwirizano wabwino. Ngati tili ndi chidziwitso mu chiwonetsero cholimbikitsa chaukali, tingathe kudziwa mosavuta mzere pakati pa nkhanza zoopsa ndi zoopsa, timawona kusiyana pakati pawo.

Mgwirizano ndi chitsanzo cha kuyanjana komwe kulibe otayika ndi opambana, palibe olamulira ndi antchito, pamene palibe chifukwa cholamulira ndi kumvera. Mgwirizano umamangidwa pa mgwirizano ndi ntchito limodzi. Ndi izo, tikhoza:

• fotokozani malingaliro anu ndi kumva ena;

• dziwoneni nokha ndi ena;

• lemekezani nokha ndi ena;

• zikhululukireni inu nokha ndi ena zolakwa;

• lemekezani "ayi" wanu ndi winayo;

• dziwani zokhumba zanu ndi kukhala ndi chidwi ndi zofuna za wina;

• dziwani luso lanu ndikuphunzira za luso la ena;

• yesetsani kukula ndikupereka kukula kwa wina;

• lemekezani kusungulumwa kwanu ndikulemekeza kusungulumwa kwa wina;

• chitani pamlingo wanu ndikupereka mwayi uwu kwa wina;

• khalani wekha ndi kulola winayo akhale wekha.

Ngati palibe chidziwitso choterocho, chiyenera kupezedwa. Mwachitsanzo, mu ubale ndi dokotala. M'malo otetezeka awa, wofuna chithandizo, pogawana malingaliro apamtima, zikhulupiriro, ndi malingaliro, amalumikizana ndi wothandizira. Ndipo kukhudzana kumeneku kumathandizira kusintha kwa moyo wake. Pakakhala malo ndi malo m'moyo omwe timakhala atcheru komanso okoma mtima, timapeza mphamvu zotuluka m'gulu lachiwawa. Ndipo timamvetsetsa kuti munthu aliyense ndi woyenera kulemekezedwa ndi kukondedwa.

Zoyenera kuchita ngati inuyo mwachita ndewu?

Kuti muzindikire wochita zankhanza mwa inu nokha, muyenera kukhala ndi chidziwitso chapamwamba. Pamchitidwe wanga wa psychotherapeutic (ndipo ndakhala ndikugwira ntchito kwa zaka zopitilira 12), panalibe pempho limodzi loti ndigwire ntchito ndi nkhanza zanga. Palibe amene wabwera kudzaphunzira kugonjetsera changu chawo.

Nthawi zambiri, munthu amabwera ndi madandaulo ngati "chinachake chalakwika ndi munthu wina kapena dziko lino", ndipo kale muzochitikazo zimakhala kuti iyeyo ndiye gwero la chiwawa. Ndizosasangalatsa kuvomereza, koma kuzindikira ndiye gawo lofunikira komanso lotsimikizika kwambiri pankhaniyi.

Machiritso amabwera pamene munthu, ngakhale kwa kamphindi, asiya chimene akufuna kukhala, ndikuyesera kukhala chimene iye ali. Kudzizindikira kuti ndiwe wankhanza, kuyamba kupepesa kumatanthauza kudzimana “m’mowamo” wa malingaliro amene amathandiza kuthetsa kupsinjika maganizo. Kuzindikirika koteroko kumafunikira kulimba mtima kwakukulu ndipo kumafunikira mendulo yagolide!

Kupumula komwe kumabwera pambuyo pochita nkhanza sikutipatsa kanthu koma kumva kuwawa kowawa, ndipo kudzikayikira kozama ndi kusowa thandizo kumapitirizabe kukhala mkati.

Mkwiyo umabadwa kuchokera ku kukangana kwa mkati, komwe nthawi ndi nthawi kumaphulika ndi kuvulaza ena. M’malo mongoganizira zimene zikukukhumudwitsani, muyenera kuganizira njira zothetsera vutolo. Choyamba, khalani ndi udindo pa zochita zanu. Ndipo yang'anani zovuta zanu kuzinthu: bizinesi, masewera, zaluso, zosangalatsa.

Kuthana ndi ukali wanu nokha sikophweka, ndipo kukhala mubwalo laukali ndi koopsa. Muyenera kufunafuna thandizo kuchokera kwa katswiri yemwe angakutsogolereni modekha komanso mwaluso kuchoka pabwalo lankhanza kupita ku gulu lomvera, losamala komanso lothandizira nokha. Ngati mgodi waukali ukuphulika, ndiye kuti simudzakhala nokha mukudzitola nokha chidutswa ndi chidutswa.