Tsiku lina imadza. Ndikufuna kusintha kwambiri moyo wanga: kuthetsa banja, kuthawa kwathu kupita kumayiko akutali, kusiya ntchito yanga ndikutsegula bizinesi yangayanga… Kodi zifukwa zenizeni zofunira kusintha chilichonse ndi chiyani? Ndipo mungamvetse bwanji ngati zilakolako zoterozo zili zolimbikitsa kapena zovulaza?
Nthawi zina pamafunika kusintha. Ndipo kuseri kwa chikhumbo chofuna kusintha chirichonse ndi chinthu choposa nkhawa ndi chikhumbo chothawa udindo ndi zolakwa zosonkhanitsa: ndizotheka kuti "Ine" wathu weniweni akulankhula.
Maria wazaka 28 ankagwira ntchito pa kanema wawayilesi wamba ndipo amakhala ndi mnyamata wina, pamene mwadzidzidzi zinamuchitikira: akufuna kupanga nyimbo! M’tauni yakwawo munalibe ziyembekezo za zochitika zoterozo. “Mnzanga anaganiza kuti lingalirolo linali lopenga, ndipo sindinafune kulisiya,” iye akukumbukira motero, “choncho ndinachoka ndekha. Ndikuvomereza kuti pambuyo pake ndinanong’oneza bondo chosankha changa kangapo, koma ndinaganiza zosiya. Tsopano ndine wosewera bass mu gulu laling'ono…”.
Ndi chiyani, kufuna kapena kusankha kwakukulu?
kutsatira tsoka
Muyenera kutsatira tsogolo lanu, akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Juliette Allais: “Lacan anatcha chisonkhezero chapadera chimenechi chimene chimatipangitsa kukhala ndi chikhumbo chamoyo. Zimatitsogolera kunjira yomwe ndi yathu. ” Ntchito yathu ili mu mtima wa mphamvu ya moyo, chisangalalo, chilimbikitso. Zili ngati kuunika kwamkati kumene kumatipangitsa kuwala, kuwalira pamalo osankhidwa. "Tikachokako, timakhala ngati timatuluka," akupitiriza psychoanalyst. "Ndinganene kuti ndiganizire za kusowa kwa njala kwa moyo uku."
Pali mabanja omwe lingaliro la mayitanidwe limayamikiridwa ndikulimbikitsidwa. Ndipo ena, kumene “anthu sachita zimenezo”, “sizili zowopsa”, “sizingatheke”. Kusonyeza kukhulupirika kwa m’banja nthaŵi zina kumatsekereza njira ya kwa ife tokha. Koma kudzipatula kwa munthu payekha kungayambitse kuvutika maganizo.
"Tiyenera kumvetsera zomwe zikuyesera kutibwezera kwa ife tokha: kudzimva wopanda chimwemwe, misonkhano yomwe imawonedwa ngati zizindikiro, kumva kupweteka mumtima ngati tiwona munthu wachimwemwe kapena kuwerenga buku lomwe limadzutsa malingaliro osamvetsetseka. . Kutsatira kuyitana kwanu sikophweka nthawi zonse. Koma tikachikana, tikhoza kulipira ndalama zambiri,” akumaliza motero Juliette Allais.
Kupita kuti?
Katswiri wa zamaganizo a m'banja Svetlana Loseva akugawana nkhani yake: mkazi yemwe analota za chikondi chatsopano anabwera kwa iye kuti akambirane.
- Ndikufuna kupita ku America, kukwatira, kukhala ndi ana ndikukhala panyanja.
Kodi mukufuna kukhala panyanja yanji? - anatero katswiri wa zamaganizo.
-Sindinamvepo izi ...
America imasambitsidwa ndi nyanja ziwiri. Kodi mumaona moyo wabanja lanu pagombe liti?
– Inde? - kasitomala amene analota America anadabwa. Sindinaganize mozama.
Pambuyo pake zinapezeka kuti kumbuyo kwa maloto a chikondi ndi nyanja kunali chikhumbo chochoka panyumba ya makolo ake pa mtengo uliwonse, kumene anali wovuta. Pali nkhani zambiri ngati zimenezi. Svetlana Loseva akufotokoza kuti pofuna kusintha miyoyo, ambiri amatsogoleredwa osati ndi chikhumbo chatsopano, koma ndi chikhumbo chothawa.
Titha kuyembekezera kukhumudwa komanso kudzudzulidwa kwa omwe tinkadziwana nawo kale omwe adazolowera kutiwona tikugwira ntchito yakale.
“Amathaŵa kusakhutira ndi moyo, kulamulira kwathunthu kwa makolo awo, kuchoka m’mikhalidwe ya moyo, kwa mwamuna wolanda, kwa mkazi waukali… , moyo wabwinoko, chikondi chatsopano ... Koma nthawi zambiri sakhala okonzekera zovuta zosapeŵeka zomwe ziyenera kugonjetsedwa mwa kudzipangira okha mikhalidwe yatsopano ndi chilengedwe.
Kuwonjezera pa mavuto akuthupi ndi a tsiku ndi tsiku, tingayembekezere kusasangalala ngakhalenso kudzudzulidwa kwa anzathu akale amene anazoloŵera kutiwona ife m’ntchito yakale.
Svetlana Loseva akufotokoza za semina imene inachitikira ku Sukulu ya Zamankhwala: “Ife, akatswiri a zamaganizo, tinakambitsirana ndi ana asukulu, ndipo asanu ndi anayi mwa khumi anati amaphunzira kukhala dokotala chifukwa chakuti makolo awo anafuna zimenezo. Ndiko kuti, achinyamata amachita zofuna za amayi ndi abambo, osati zawo, amaphunzira chifukwa amalipira ndalama zambiri ndipo amamvera chisoni makolo awo komanso ndalama. Pakadali pano. Ndipo kulingaliranso za moyo kungadziwonetsere ngati kupanduka, "akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo.
Pezani gwero
Kusemphana pakati pa zomwe ena akufuna kuti tikhale ndi zomwe ife, mozindikira kapena mosadziwa, tingafune kwa ife tokha kumayambitsa mikangano. Atathyola, zikhoza kuwonetsedwa mu chikhumbo chofuna kuwononga chirichonse chodziwika "pansi".
“Pofuna kusintha mkhalidwe umene umayambitsa kusapeza bwino, nthaŵi zambiri timaika moyo wathu pachiswe. Ngakhale kukhala ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi momwe tikumvera kungatithandize kuti tisafike potentha ndikusintha njira zina, "akutero Svetlana Loseva. Zowona, zosintha zokha komanso kuchuluka kwake sizidalira ife nthawi zonse ...
Irina anali ndi zaka 48 pamene mwamuna wake anamusiya. Kunjenjemerako kunali kwakukulu kwambiri kotero kuti anaganiza zosintha kwambiri moyo wake. “Sindinathe kupita kuntchito. Alimony kwa achinyamata awiri amaloledwa kugwira. Ndipo ine, kuti ndisalire tsiku lonse, ndinayamba kupanga akalulu a ubweya, achisoni komanso osungulumwa monga ine. Patatha miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, ambiri aiwo adasonkhana, ndikuyika "zithunzi" zawo pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, ndipo, ndinadabwa kuti panali ogula, "akukumbukira Irina.
Lero ali ndi zaka 52, ndipo tikhoza kunena kale kuti wapambana: kuchoka ku ntchito ya masiku asanu kupita ku homuweki, kuthera nthawi yochuluka ndi ana ndikuzindikira zomwe amakonda, zomwe sizitenga nthawi, koma zimabweretsa ndalama. Kumbali ina, ndalama zomwe amapeza zatsika ndi theka. Komabe, Irina sananong'oneze bondo.
Posachedwapa
Amakhulupirira kuti ndizofala kuti wachinyamata ayang'ane "komwe kuli bwino", koma pa msinkhu wolemekezeka ndi wofunika kukhazika mtima pansi, osati kusuntha mwadzidzidzi. Pali zomveka mu izi: tikamapindula kwambiri, timakhala pachiwopsezo chotaya.
Ku Runet, "agogo a Lena" amadziwika kwambiri - Elena Erkhova wochokera ku Krasnoyarsk. Moyo wake wonse ankalakalaka kuona dziko, koma ankagwira ntchito mwakhama ndipo analibe nthawi yoyenda. Ndipo komabe adakwaniritsa maloto ake - ali ndi zaka 85, "agogo aakazi a Lena" anapita kukaona dziko lapansi. Posakhalitsa adadziwika: zofalitsa zake pa Instagram zinasonkhanitsa zikwi za "zokonda", adaitanidwa ku mapulogalamu a pa TV. Iye wayendera mayiko ambiri, kuphatikizapo Dominican Republic, Italy, Israel, Thailand, Vietnam.
Agogo aakazi a Lena posachedwapa anamwalira ali ndi zaka 91, koma zaka zingapo zapitazi za moyo wake zakhala zodabwitsa komanso zochititsa chidwi.
Mutha kutsatira maloto anu ngakhale muzaka za 85, koma pamenepo padzakhala zochepa kwambiri pa moyo weniweni.
Kotero sikuchedwa kuti mudzipeze nokha. “Kukumana ndi zikhumbo zathu zenizeni, kutsatira kuitana kwa mtima kungagwirizane ndi mfundo yakuti timadziŵa kuti moyo uli ndi malire ndipo timasankha kuchita zimene takhala tikulakalaka, ngakhale titakhala kuti sitili okonzeka kotheratu,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo. Anna Milova. Finiteness, imfa ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zilipo, gawo lofunikira la kukhalapo kwa anthu padziko lapansi. Pamene tili achichepere, zingawonekere kuti tili ndi nthaŵi yambiri patsogolo pathu, ndipo kuti tiyambe chinthu chatsopano, timafunikira kulimba mtima kochuluka ndi misonkhano ndi kupanda ungwiro kwathu, nyonga ya kutenga mathayo, kuphatikizapo zolephera zotheka. .
Tikazindikira kuti tili ndi malire (mwachitsanzo, kukumana ndi ukalamba wathu kapena kutayika kwa okondedwa), pali kutsimikiza mtima kukwaniritsa zilakolako zenizeni, osati kudikirira nthawi yoyenera. Chifukwa ngati mudikirira, simungadikire, mphindi yabwino komanso mikhalidwe yabwino sizingabwere.
Kumva kuitana kwa mtima, sitichotsa mantha (mwachitsanzo, ngati zolinga zathu zidzakwaniritsidwa), komabe timayika pachiwopsezo ndikutsata maloto athu, chifukwa ngati sitichita tsopano, ndiye kuti sitingasankhe. .
Ndipo komabe, ndibwino kuti musadikire penshoni kuti mukwaniritse zofuna zanu. Ngati nthawi zonse timalakalaka kusintha ntchito ya accountant kukhala ubweya wa ubweya, mwina sitiyenera kuchedwetsa izi ndikudikirira zovuta zomwe zingalimbikitse kusintha kwakukulu pantchitoyo. Mutha kutsatira maloto anu ali ndi zaka 85, koma pamenepo padzakhala zochepa kwambiri pamoyo weniweni. Bwanji ngati mutayamba pompano?
Kusintha: kutetezedwa
Kuyambiranso ndikosangalatsa. Koma bwanji kukhalabe odziletsa, osasochera pamene kutengeka mtima kukukulirakulira ndipo kumafunikira kusintha? Gestalt Therapist Ashe Garrido adagawana "njira zachitetezo".
Muyenera kulola kuvomereza kukayikakayika kwakanthawi ndikukhala momwemo, panthawi imodzimodziyo kudzipatsa chitonthozo chokwanira. Mavuto aliwonse ndizochitika pamene njira zakale sizikugwira ntchito, ndipo zatsopano sizinapezekebe. Izi ndizovuta kwambiri. Ndizovuta kwambiri kunyamula.
"Palibe choipa kuposa kudikira ndikugwira" - basi. Ubongo nthawi zonse ukuyesera "kukwaniritsa chiwerengerocho", kuti akwaniritse zosamvetsetseka kuti zikhale zomveka, zomwe zimadziwika momwe angalankhulire. Ndipo nthawi zambiri, tikapezeka kuti tili mumkhalidwe wotere, timakumana ndi zovuta ndikuyesa kuzithetsa - kuchitapo kanthu kuti tiwonjezere kumveka. Chilichonse, ngakhale cholakwika, chimabweretsa mavuto, koma kuthetsa kusatsimikizika.
M'malo mwake, ndikofunikira kuchita zinthu motsutsa. Osalimbana ndi kusatsimikizika, zisiyeni. Dziyang'anireni, yang'anani mosamala ndikumvetsera zomwe zikuchitika mkati. Onetsetsani chitonthozo chanu: kugona mokwanira, kuyenda, ntchito zosangalatsa. Dzikumbutseni kuti kudandaula tsopano ndizochitika zachilengedwe, osati chizindikiro chakuti chirichonse chatayika. Awa ndi kuyesa chabe kwa ubongo kulunjika kuzinthu zatsopano, zosinthika.
Ubongo wathu umagwira ntchito mosatopa, umafunafuna njira zatsopano, umatulutsa zidziwitso zambiri kuchokera mkati ndi kunja. Ndipo adzapeza njira yotulukira, chinthu chachikulu si kuyendetsa akavalo. Kudzisamalira nokha komanso dziko lozungulira, kudzikonda, kuleza mtima, kutentha ndi chifundo kumapereka zinthu zambiri zamkati ndikuthandizira kuzindikira zinthu zakunja.
Mukhoza kuyesa zinthu zatsopano, monga mbale zatsopano pamene pali zambiri patebulo. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, pang'onopang'ono, kumvetsera zomverera. Pamapeto pake, mudzafuna kubwereranso ku chinachake mobwerezabwereza, matanthauzo omwe sanali ofikirika kale adzawululidwa. Chilichonse chidzachitika munthawi yake komanso momwe ziyenera kukhalira.