Zamkatimu
Kukangana pazandale kungabweretse kusagwirizana m’maubwenzi ngakhalenso kuwononga banja logwirizana. N’chifukwa chiyani zimenezi zikuchitika? Kodi kumvetsa zimenezi kungatithandize kusunga mtendere m’banja lathu? Timamvetsetsa pamodzi ndi psychotherapist pa chitsanzo cha owerenga athu.
“Kusiyana maganizo kwa achibale kunapha ubale wathu”
Dmitry, wazaka 46
“Ine ndi Vasilisa takhala limodzi kwa nthawi yaitali, zaka zoposa 10. Nthawi zonse anali ochezeka. Anamvetsetsana. Akhoza kulolera ngati pangafunike kutero. Tili ndi katundu wamba - nyumba kunja kwa mzinda. Tinamanga pamodzi. Tinasangalala kusamuka. Ndani akanadziwa kuti mavuto ngati amenewa amayamba ndi iye ...
Zaka zitatu zapitazo, amayi anga anawapeza ndi matenda a shuga. jakisoni wa jakisoni wa jakisoni wa jakisoni wa jakisoni wa jakisoni wa jakisoni wa jakisoni wa insulin ndi ena otero… Adokotala anati akufunika kuyang'aniridwa, ndipo tinamutengera kwa ife. Nyumbayo ndi yotakasuka, pali malo okwanira aliyense. Ubwenzi wanga ndi mkazi wanga wakhala wabwino nthawi zonse. Sitinkakhala limodzi, koma tinkayendera makolo anga pafupipafupi. Ndipo pambuyo pa imfa ya bambo ake - kale mayi mmodzi. Chigamulo chokhalira onse m’nyumba imodzi chinali chogwirizana. Mkazi sanadandaule. Komanso, amayi anga amayenda pang'ono, amasamalira ukhondo yekha - safuna namwino.
Koma mayi anga ndi ogontha ndipo amaonera TV nthawi zonse.
Timadyera limodzi chakudya chamadzulo. Ndipo iye sangakhoze kulingalira chakudya popanda "bokosi". Kumayambiriro kwa zochitika za February, amayi anga adamamatira ku mapulogalamu. Ndipo kumeneko, kuwonjezera pa nkhani, kupsa mtima kolimba. Kumupempha kuti azimitse n’kopanda ntchito. Ndiko kuti, amazimitsa, koma amaiwala (mwachiwonekere, zaka zimadzipangitsa kumva) ndikuzitsegulanso.
Ine ndi mkazi wanga timayang'ana TV nthawi zambiri koma nkhani zokha. Sitiwonerera mapulogalamu a pa TV pamene aliyense amakangana ndi kunyozana. Koma vuto silili m'mawu okha. Ndikuganiza kuti ubale wathu unapha kusiyana kwawo kwamalingaliro - amayi ndi Vasilisa. Chakudya chilichonse chamadzulo chimasanduka mphete. Onsewa akukangana mozama za ndale - imodzi ya ntchito yapadera, ina yotsutsa.
Pamasabata apitawa, abweretsana ku kutentha koyera. Pamapeto pake, mkaziyo sanapirire. Ananyamula katundu wake napita kwa makolo ake. Sanandiuze kalikonse. Chokhacho kuti sangakhalenso m'malo oterowo ndikuwopa kuphulika kwa amayi anga.
Sindikudziwa choti ndichite. Sindiwathamangitsa amayi anga. Ndinapita kwa mkazi wanga kukapirira - pamapeto pake adangokangana. Manja pansi. ”…
“Ndinayesetsa kukhala chete koma sizinathandize”
Vasilisa, wazaka 42
“Apongozi anga ankandiona ngati munthu wamtendere komanso wachifundo. Sindinadziŵe kuti kusamuka kwake kungabweretse mavuto ambiri. Poyamba sanali. Chabwino, kupatula kuti chizolowezi chake cha nthawi zonse kuyatsa TV. Sindingathe kuyimilira owonetsa motere kuti asokonezeke komanso kunyozedwa, ine ndi mwamuna wanga timangowonera nkhani ndi makanema okha. Apongozi, mwachiwonekere, ali wosungulumwa ndipo alibe kanthu, ndipo TV yake imakhala yotsegulidwa nthawi zonse. Amawoneranso masewera a mpira! Nthawi zambiri, sizinali zophweka, koma tinapeza njira zina - nthawi zina ndinapirira, nthawi zina amavomereza kuzimitsa.
Koma kuyambira chiyambi cha opaleshoni yapadera, amawonera mosalekeza. Monga ngati akuwopa kuphonya chinachake akachithimitsa ngakhale kwa mphindi imodzi. Amawonera nkhani - ndikukweza mitu yandale nthawi iliyonse. Sindikugwirizana ndi maganizo ake, ndipo amayamba mikangano, monga m'mapulogalamu a pa TV, ndi zokhumudwitsa komanso kuyesera nthawi zonse kunditsimikizira.
Poyamba, ndidalankhula naye, ndikudzipereka kuti ndisakakamize aliyense kusintha malingaliro awo, ndikumupempha kuti asadzutse mitu iyi patebulo.
Akuwoneka kuti akuvomereza, koma amamvetsera nkhani - ndipo sangathe kupirira, amatiuzanso. Ndi ndemanga zanu! Ndipo kuchokera mu ndemanga zake izi, ndinayamba kale kukwiya. Mwamunayo adamunyengerera kuti akhazikike mtima pansi, ndiye ine, ndiyeno onse awiri - adayesetsa kusalowerera ndale. Koma zinthu zinangoipiraipira.
Ndinayesetsa kukhala chete koma sizinathandize. Kenako anayamba kudya padera - koma anandigwira pamene ndinali kukhitchini. Nthawi iliyonse akayamba kugawana nane malingaliro ake, ndipo zonse zimatha ndi malingaliro.
M’maŵa wina, ndinazindikira kuti sindinali wokonzeka kumvetsera TV kosatha, kapena kukangana ndi amayi anga, kapena kukhala chete pamene ndikumvetsera kwa iwo. Sindingathenso. Choipa kwambiri pa nthawiyi ndinali nditadananso ndi mwamuna wanga. Tsopano ndikuganiza mozama za chisudzulo - "chisangalalo" cha m'nkhani yonseyi ndi chakuti m'mbuyomo mu ubale wathu ndi iye sungathe kubwezeretsedwa.
"Chilichonse chimayaka moto wa mantha athu"
Gurgen Khachaturian, psychotherapist
"Nthawi zonse zimakhala zowawa kuona momwe banja likhalira malo a mikangano yosatha. Potsirizira pake amatsogolera ku mfundo yakuti zinthu zimakhala zosapiririka, mabanja akuwonongeka.
Koma apa, mwina, simuyenera kuimba mlandu chilichonse pazandale. Osapitilira miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yapitayo, momwemonso, mabanja adakangana mpaka kutha chifukwa chamalingaliro osiyanasiyana okhudzana ndi coronavirus, chifukwa cha mikangano yokhudzana ndi katemera. Chochitika chilichonse chomwe chimaphatikizapo maudindo osiyanasiyana, okhudzidwa ndi maganizo angayambitse vutoli.
Choyamba, ndikofunika kumvetsetsa: chikondi monga kumverera ndi maubwenzi pakati pa anthu okondana sizikutanthauza kuti zinangochitika mwangozi. Ndizosangalatsa kwambiri, m'malingaliro anga, pamene maubwenzi amamangidwa pakati pa omwe maganizo awo ndi osiyana, koma nthawi yomweyo mulingo wa chikondi ndi ulemu kwa wina ndi mzake ndi kotero kuti amakhala pamodzi mwangwiro.
M'nkhani ya Vasilisa ndi Dmitry, nkofunika kuti munthu wachitatu akhale woyambitsa zochitika, apongozi ake odziwika bwino, omwe adatsanulira kusamvera kwa mpongozi wake - malingaliro ake ndi malingaliro ake.
Zochitika ngati ntchito yapaderayi ikachitika, komanso mliri usanachitike, tonse timachita mantha. Pali mantha. Ndipo uku ndi kumverera kolemera kwambiri. Ndipo kwambiri «wosusuka» poyerekezera zambiri. Tikachita mantha, timazitenga mochuluka kwambiri ndipo nthawi yomweyo timayiwala kuti palibe kuchuluka kwake komwe kudzakhala kokwanira. Zonse zimayaka ndi moto wa mantha athu.
Mwachiwonekere, apongozi onse ndi mwamuna ndi mkazi wake anali ndi mantha - chifukwa ichi ndi chizoloŵezi chachibadwa ku zochitika zazikulu zoterozo. Apa, mwina, sizinali ndale zomwe zidawononga ubale. Kungoti panthawi imene onse anachita mantha ndipo aliyense anachita nawo manthawa m’njira yawoyawo, anthu sanapeze ogwirizana kuti ayese limodzi.”