"Timagona ndi matupi athu kuyambira m'mawa mpaka madzulo - kwa ena komanso kwa ife eni"

Psychology: Kodi timamvanso thupi lathu ngati gawo lathu? Kapena kodi timamva thupi padera, ndi umunthu wathu payokha?

Marina Baskakova: Kumbali ina, munthu aliyense ali ndi ubale wake ndi thupi. Kumbali inayi, pali chikhalidwe china cha chikhalidwe chomwe timagwirizanitsa ndi thupi lathu. Tsopano mitundu yonse ya machitidwe omwe amathandizira chidwi ndi thupi, kuzizindikiro zake, ndi kuthekera kwakhala kotchuka. Amene amachita nawo amaziwona mosiyana pang'ono ndi omwe ali kutali ndi iwo. Mu chikhalidwe chathu chachikhristu, makamaka cha Orthodox, mthunzi uwu wogawanika kukhala mzimu ndi thupi, moyo ndi thupi, kudzikonda ndi thupi udakalipo. Izi zimatuluka zomwe zimatchedwa chinthu chogwirizana ndi thupi. Ndiko kuti, ndi mtundu wa chinthu chomwe mungathe kuchigwira mwanjira ina, kuchikonza, kukongoletsa, kumanga minofu, ndi zina zotero. Ndipo kuchita zinthu mwanzeru kumeneku kumalepheretsa munthu kudzizindikira monga thupi, ndiko kuti, monga munthu wathunthu.

Kodi umphumphu uwu ndi wa chiyani?

Tiyeni tiganizire za chomwe chiri. Monga ndanenera, mu Chikhristu, makamaka Orthodox, chikhalidwe, thupi lakhala litalikirana kwa zaka zikwi zambiri. Ngati titenga gawo lalikulu la chitaganya cha anthu onse, ndiye funso linali: kodi thupi ndi chonyamulira cha munthu kapena mosiyana? Amene amavala ndani, pafupifupi kunena.

Zikuwonekeratu kuti ndife olekanitsidwa mwakuthupi ndi anthu ena, aliyense wa ife alipo mu thupi lake. M'lingaliro limeneli, kulabadira thupi, zizindikiro zake, amathandiza katundu monga munthu payekha. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, zikhalidwe zonse, ndithudi, zimathandizira kugwirizana kwina kwa anthu: ndife ogwirizana, timamva chimodzimodzi, timafanana kwambiri. Ichi ndi mbali yofunika kwambiri ya kukhalapo. Chinachake chomwe chimapanga mgwirizano pakati pa anthu amtundu umodzi, chikhalidwe chimodzi, gulu limodzi. Koma ndiye funso likubwera la mgwirizano pakati pa munthu payekha ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu. Ngati, mwachitsanzo, woyamba amathandizidwa mopitirira muyeso, ndiye kuti munthu atembenukira kwa iye yekha ndi zosowa zake, koma amayamba kugwa kuchokera kumagulu a anthu. Nthawi zina zimakhala zosungulumwa, chifukwa zimakhala njira yosiyana ndi kukhalapo kwa ena ambiri. Izi nthawi zonse zimayambitsa kaduka komanso kukwiya. Kwa munthu payekha, kawirikawiri, muyenera kulipira. Ndipo mosemphanitsa, ngati munthu akunena za "ife" zomwe zimavomerezedwa, ku zikhulupiriro zonse zomwe zilipo kale, ndiye kuti amakhala ndi kufunikira kofunikira kwambiri. Ndine wa chikhalidwe china, dera linalake, thupi langa ndimadziwika ngati munthu. Koma kenako pamabuka mkangano pakati pa munthu ndi amene amavomereza. Ndipo m'gulu lathu mkangano uwu ukuwonekera momveka bwino.

Ndizodabwitsa kuti malingaliro amakampani amasiyana bwanji m'dziko lathu, mwachitsanzo, ku France. Nthaŵi zonse zimandidabwitsa pamenepo pamene munthu wina, atabwera kumsonkhano kapena kukampani ina, akutulukira mwadzidzidzi, nati: “Ndipita kukapanga wee-wee.” Amazitenga ngati zachilendo. Ndizovuta kulingalira izi m'dziko lathu, ngakhale kuti palibe chonyansa mu izi. N’chifukwa chiyani tili ndi chikhalidwe chosiyana kwambiri cholankhula zinthu zosavuta?

Ndikuganiza kuti umu ndi momwe kupatukana kwauzimu ndi thupi, mmwamba ndi pansi, komwe kuli chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe chathu, kumawonekera. Chilichonse chokhudza "wee-wee", ntchito zachilengedwe, chili pansipa, mu gawo lokanidwa kwambiri ndi chikhalidwe. Zomwezo zimagwiranso ntchito pakugonana. Ngakhale zonse zikuwoneka kuti zamukhudza kale. Koma bwanji? M'malo mwake, ponena za chinthu. Ndikuona kuti maanja amene amabwera kuphwando amavutikabe kulankhulana. Ngakhale pali zambiri zomwe zitha kutchedwa kugonana kozungulira, sikuthandiza kwenikweni anthu omwe ali paubwenzi wapamtima, koma kumawasokoneza. Zakhala zosavuta kuyankhula za izo, koma, m'malo mwake, zakhala zovuta kulankhula za malingaliro ena, za maonekedwe awo. Komabe kusiyana kumeneku kukupitirirabe. Ndingotembenuza. Ndipo mu Chifalansa kapena, mokulirapo, chikhalidwe cha Katolika, palibe kukana kwamphamvu koteroko kwa thupi ndi thupi.

Kodi mukuganiza kuti munthu aliyense amazindikira thupi lake mokwanira? Kodi timaganiziranso kukula kwake, magawo ake, miyeso yake?

Ndizosatheka kunena za aliyense. Kuti muchite izi, muyenera kukumana ndi aliyense, kulankhula ndi kumvetsa chinachake za iye. Ndikhoza kukuuzani zina mwazinthu zomwe ndimakumana nazo. Zambiri zimabwera pakulandila kwa anthu omwe sadzizindikira bwino ngati munthu komanso ngati munthu wophatikizidwa m'thupi. Pali ena omwe ali ndi malingaliro olakwika pa kukula kwawo, koma sakuzindikira.

Mwachitsanzo, munthu wamkulu, wamkulu amadziuza yekha “chigwiriro”, “miyendo” kwa iye mwini, amagwiritsa ntchito mawu ena ochepetsa… Za mfundo yakuti mbali ina ya iye sali pa msinkhu wofanana, osati mu kukula kwake. Chinachake mu umunthu wake, muzochitika zake zaumwini, zimagwirizana kwambiri ndi ubwana. Izi nthawi zambiri zimatchedwa infantilism. Azimayi ali ndi zosokoneza zina zomwe ndimaziwonanso: amafuna kukhala ochepa. Tingaganize kuti uwu ndi mtundu wina wa kukana kukula kwawo.

Akatswiri a zamaganizo amalankhula za kufunika kotha kumva zizindikiro za thupi lanu - kungakhale kutopa, kupweteka, dzanzi, kukwiya. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, m'mabuku odziwika, nthawi zambiri timapatsidwa kufotokozera zizindikiro izi: mutu umatanthauza chinachake, ndipo ululu wammbuyo umatanthauza chinachake. Koma kodi angatanthauziridwedi motero?

Ndikawerenga mawu otere, ndimawona chinthu chimodzi chofunikira. Thupi limanenedwa ngati lili paokha. Kodi zizindikiro za thupi zili kuti? Thupi limasonyeza kwa ndani? Kodi zizindikiro za thupi zili bwanji? Ngati tilankhula za psychosomatics, zizindikiro zina zimapangidwira munthuyo. Ululu, ndi wandani? Mwambiri, ine. Kusiya kuchita chinthu chondipweteka. Ndipo pamenepa, ululu umakhala gawo lolemekezeka kwambiri la ife. Ngati mutenga kutopa, kusapeza bwino - chizindikiro ichi chimatanthawuza ena onyalanyazidwa, omwe nthawi zambiri amanyalanyazidwa. Ndi mwambo kuti tisazindikire kutopa. Nthawi zina chizindikiro chowawa chimapangidwira munthu amene ali paubwenzi ndi ululu umene umachitika. Zikamativuta kunena, zimativuta kufotokoza zakukhosi kwathu kapena palibe chimene tikuchita ndi mawu athu.

Ndiye zizindikiro za psychosomatic kale kunena kuti muyenera kutalikirana ndi izi, kuchita chinachake, potsiriza kudzimvera, kudwala. Kudwala - ndiko kuti, tuluka muzochitika zowawa. Zikuoneka kuti vuto limodzi lopweteka limasinthidwa ndi lina, lomveka bwino. Ndipo mukhoza kusiya kudzikakamiza. Ndikadwala, ndimachita manyazi pang’ono kuti sindingathe kuchitapo kanthu. Pali mkangano walamulo womwe umachirikiza kudzilemekeza kwanga. Ndimakhulupirira kuti matenda ambiri amathandiza munthu kusintha pang'ono maganizo ake kuti akhale abwino.

Nthawi zambiri timamva mawu akuti "Thupi samanama." Kodi mukuzimvetsa bwanji?

Chodabwitsa, ndi funso lovuta. Ochiritsa thupi nthawi zambiri amagwiritsa ntchito mawu awa. Iye akumveka wokongola, mwa lingaliro langa. Kumbali imodzi, izi ndi zoona. Mwachitsanzo, mayi wa mwana wamng’ono amazindikira mwamsanga kuti mwanayo akudwala. Amawona kuti maso ake atsinzika, moyo watha. Thupi likuwonetsa kusintha. Koma kumbali ina, ngati tikumbukira chikhalidwe cha anthu, ndiye kuti theka la moyo wathu wathupi ndilo kunamiza ena ponena za ife eni. Ndikukhala mowongoka, ngakhale ndikufuna kugwa, mtundu wina wamalingaliro suli bwino. Kapena, mwachitsanzo, ndimamwetulira, koma kwenikweni ndikukwiya.

Palinso malangizo amomwe mungachitire kuti mupereke chithunzi cha munthu wodzidalira…

Nthawi zambiri, timagona ndi matupi athu kuyambira m'mawa mpaka madzulo, komanso ifenso. Mwachitsanzo, tikamanyalanyaza kutopa, timakhala ngati tikudziuza kuti: “Ndine wamphamvu kuposa mmene mukuyesera kundisonyeza.” Wothandizira thupi, monga katswiri, amatha kuwerenga zizindikiro za thupi ndikukhazikitsa ntchito yake. Koma thupi lonseli likunama. Minofu ina imathandizira chigoba chomwe chimaperekedwa kwa anthu ena.

Ndi njira ziti zomwe mungamve bwino m'thupi lanu, kuzidziwa bwino, kuzimvetsetsa, kukhala paubwenzi nazo kwambiri?

Pali mwayi waukulu: kuvina, kuimba, kuyenda, kusambira, kuchita yoga ndi zina. Koma apa ntchito yofunika ndiyo kuzindikira zomwe ndimakonda ndi zomwe sindimakonda. Dziphunzitseni kuzindikira zizindikiro zomwezo za thupi. Ndimakonda kapena kudzisunga ndekha mkati mwa dongosolo la ntchitoyi. Monga / kusakonda, kufuna / sindikufuna, sindikufuna/koma nditero. Chifukwa anthu achikulire akukhalabe m’nkhani imeneyi. Ndipo zimathandiza kwambiri kuti mudziwe nokha. Chitani zomwe mumafuna kuchita. Pezani nthawi ya izi. Funso lalikulu la nthawi siloti kulibe. N’zoona kuti sitinazipatula. Chifukwa chake tenga ndi ndandanda yanu kugawa nthawi yosangalatsa. Kwa wina akuyenda, wina akuimba, wachitatu ali pakama. Kupanga nthawi ndiye mawu ofunikira.

Zoyankhulanazo zidajambulidwa kuti zigwirizane ndi magazini ya Psychologies ndi wailesi ya "Culture" "Status: in a relationship" mu Epulo 2017.