Mwana si chimwemwe chokha. Komanso mantha. Pali zifukwa zokwanira zowopsa, makamaka pakati pa amayi omwe adayamba kukhala amayi.
Aliyense wamvapo za matenda a postpartum. Chabwino, koma mawu oti "postpartum chronic nkhawa" samangokhala akumva. Koma pachabe, chifukwa amakhala ndi amayi ake kwazaka zambiri. Amayi amadandaula chilichonse: amawopa matenda obadwa mwadzidzidzi a ana akhanda, meninjaitisi, majeremusi, munthu wachilendo paki - ndiwowopsa kwambiri, mpaka mantha. Mantha amenewa amachititsa kuti zikhale zovuta kusangalala ndi moyo, kusangalala ndi ana. Anthu amakonda kuthana ndi vuto lotere - amati, amayi onse ali ndi nkhawa ndi ana awo. Koma nthawi zina zonse zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kotero kuti simungathe kuchita popanda thandizo la dokotala.
A Charlotte Andersen, amayi a atatu, adalemba zoopsa khumi ndi ziwiri zodziwika bwino pakati pa amayi achichepere. Nazi zomwe adachita.
1. Ndizowopsa kusiya mwana ali yekha ku kindergarten kapena kusukulu
“Chimene chimandisowetsa mtendere kwambiri ndicho kusiya Riley kusukulu. Izi ndizowopsa zazing'ono, mwachitsanzo, zovuta zamasukulu kapena anzanu. Koma mantha enieni ndikubedwa kwa ana. Ndikumvetsetsa kuti izi sizingachitike kwa mwana wanga. Koma nthawi zonse ndikamapita naye kusukulu, sindimatha kuganiza za izi. ”- Leah, wazaka 26, Denver.
2. Bwanji ngati nkhawa yanga itaperekedwa kwa mwanayo?
“Ndakhala ndi nkhawa komanso matenda osokoneza bongo kwa moyo wanga wonse, motero ndikudziwa momwe zimakhalira zopweteka komanso zofooketsa. Nthawi zina ndimawona ana anga akuwonetsa zisonyezo zomwezo zomwe ndimachita. Ndipo ndikuwopa kuti achokera kwa ine kuti adakhala ndi nkhawa ”(Cassie, 31, Sacramento).
3. Ndimachita mantha ana akagona nthawi yayitali.
“Nthawi zonse ana anga akagona nthawi yayitali kuposa masiku onse, ndimayamba kuganiza kuti: Amwalira! Amayi ambiri amasangalala ndi mtendere, ndikumvetsetsa. Koma ndimakhala ndimantha nthawi zonse kuti mwana wanga adzafa atagona. Nthawi zonse ndimapita kukawona ngati zonse zili bwino ngati ana amagona nthawi yayitali masana kapena amadzuka mochedwa m'mawa "(Candice, 28, Avrada).
4. Ndikuopa kuti mwana asadzamuwone
"Ndimachita mantha kwambiri ana anga akamasewera okha pabwalo kapena, akachoka pamalo anga owonera. Ndikuopa kuti wina atha kuzichotsa kapena kuwazunza, ndipo sindikhala pamenepo kuti ndiwateteze. O, ali ndi zaka 14 ndi 9, si ana! Ndinalembetsanso maphunziro a kudziteteza. Ngati ndili ndi chidaliro kuti nditha kuwateteza ndekha, mwina sindingachite mantha ”(Amanda, 32, Houston).
5. Ndikuwopa kuti abanika
“Nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndi nkhawa kuti atha kumira. Mpaka pano ndimawona kuopsa kwakubanika m'zonse. Nthawi zonse ndimadula chakudya bwino kwambiri, nthawi zonse ndimamukumbutsa kuti amatafuna chakudya bwino. Monga ngati amatha kuiwala ndikuyamba kumeza zonse. Kawirikawiri, ndimayesetsa kumamupatsa chakudya chotafuna kangapo ”(Lindsay, 32, Columbia).
6. Tikasiyana, ndimaopa kuti sitidzaonananso.
"Nthawi zonse amuna anga ndi ana akamachoka, ndimagwidwa ndi mantha - zimawoneka kuti achita ngozi ndipo sindidzawaonanso. Ndimaganizira zomwe tidatsanzikana - ngati awa ndi mawu athu omaliza. Nditha kulira misozi. Adangopita ku McDonald's (Maria, 29, Seattle).
7. Kudzimva waliwongo pa chinthu chomwe sichinachitikepo (ndipo mwina sichidzachitikanso)
“Ndimangokhalira kuganiza kuti ngati ndiganiza zogwira ntchito nthawi yayitali ndikutumiza amuna anga ndi ana kuti akasangalale, aka kakhala komaliza kuwawona. Ndipo ndiyenera kukhala moyo wanga wonse ndikudziwa kuti ndimakonda ntchito kuposa banja langa. Kenako ndimayamba kulingalira zamitundu yonse momwe ana anga adzakhala m'malo achiwiri. Ndipo mantha amandipitirira kuti sindisamala za ana, ndimawanyalanyaza ”(Emily, 30, Las Vegas).
8. Ndimawona majeremusi kulikonse
“Mapasa anga adabadwa masiku asanakwane, ndiye kuti amatenga matenda kwambiri. Ndinayenera kukhala tcheru kwambiri za ukhondo - mpaka kufooka. Koma tsopano akula, chitetezo chawo chili bwino, ndimaopabe. Kuopa kuti ana adwala matenda oopsa chifukwa cha kuyang'anira kwanga kunapangitsa kuti ndipezeke ndi matenda osokoneza bongo, ”- Selma, Istanbul.
9. Ndikuopa kufa kuyenda pakiyo
“Pakiyi ndi malo abwino kuyenda ndi ana. Koma ndimawaopa kwambiri. Kusintha konseku… Tsopano ana anga aakazi akadali aang'ono kwambiri. Koma adzakula, adzafuna kusambira. Kenako ndimaganiza kuti anasochera kwambiri, ndipo nditha kungoyima ndi kuwayang'ana akugwa ”- Jennifer, wazaka 32, Hartford.
10. Nthawi zonse ndimaganiza chochitika choipitsitsa
“Nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndi mantha owopa kukakamira mgalimoto ndi ana anga komanso kuti ndizitha kupulumutsa munthu m'modzi yekha. Ndingasankhe bwanji yomwe ndikusankha? Ndingatani ngati sindingathe kuwatulutsa onse awiri? Nditha kutengera zochitika ngati izi. Ndipo mantha amenewo samandilola kupita. ”- Courtney, wazaka 32, New York.
11. Kuopa kugwa
“Timakonda chilengedwe kwambiri, timakonda kukwera mapiri. Koma sindingasangalale ndi tchuthi changa mwamtendere. Kupatula apo, pali malo ambiri kuzungulira komwe mungagwere. Kupatula apo, kulibe omwe ali m'nkhalango omwe angasamalire chitetezo. Tikamapita kumalo omwe kuli miyala, thanthwe, sindimachotsa ana anga kwa iwo. Ndiyeno ndimakhala ndi maloto olota kwa masiku angapo. Nthawi zambiri ndinkaletsa makolo anga kuti azitenga ana awo kupita nawo kumadera ena komwe kuli chiopsezo chogwera kuchokera pamwamba. Izi ndi zoipa kwambiri. Chifukwa mwana wanga wamwamuna tsopano ali wamanjenje monga momwe ndiliri ine pankhaniyi ”(Sheila, 38, Leighton).
12. Ndikuopa kuonera nkhani
"Zaka zingapo zapitazo, ngakhale ndisanakhale ndi ana, ndinawona nkhani yonena za banja likuyendetsa galimoto kuwoloka mlatho - ndipo galimotoyo idawuluka pamlathowo. Aliyense adamira kupatula amayi. Anapulumuka, koma ana ake anaphedwa. Nditabereka mwana wanga woyamba, nkhaniyi ndi yomwe ndimangoganiza. Ndinkalota zoopsa. Ndinayendetsa mozungulira milatho iliyonse. Kenako tinakhalanso ndi ana. Zinapezeka kuti iyi sinkhani yokhayo yomwe imandipha. Nkhani iliyonse, pomwe mwana amazunzidwa kapena kuphedwa, imandiwopsa. Mwamuna wanga waletsa njira zanyumba mnyumba mwathu. ”- Anatero Heidi, New Orleans.