Zikuwoneka kwa ife kuti palibe malingaliro ambiri abwino. Ndani amene amakana kukhalanso wosangalala kwambiri kapena kuvomera kusinthana ndi chisangalalo ndi gawo lina la nkhawa kapena kukwiya? Pakali pano, maganizo abwino amakhalanso ndi mthunzi mbali. Mwachitsanzo, kuchuluka kwawo kwakukulu kwambiri. Ndipo zoipa, m'malo mwake, ndizothandiza. Timachita ndi katswiri wama psychologist Dmitry Frolov.
Ambiri aife timakhala ndi malingaliro amkati otere: malingaliro olakwika amachititsa kusapeza bwino, zingakhale bwino kuwapewa ngati n'kotheka ndi kuyesetsa kulandira zabwino zambiri zowala momwe tingathere. Ndipotu, timafunikira malingaliro onse. Chisoni, nkhawa, manyazi, nsanje kapena kaduka zimatipangitsa ife ndi ena kumvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitika kwa ife ndikuwongolera khalidwe lathu. Popanda iwo, sitingamvetse mmene moyo wathu ulili, kaya zonse zili bwino kwa ife, ndi mbali ziti zimene zimafunikira chisamaliro.
Pali mithunzi yambiri yamalingaliro ndi mawu amatchulidwe awo. Mu Rational Emotional Behavior Therapy (REBT), timasiyanitsa 11 zazikuluzikulu: chisoni, nkhawa, kudziimba mlandu, manyazi, mkwiyo, kaduka, nsanje, kunyansidwa, mkwiyo, chisangalalo, chikondi.
Ndipotu, mawu aliwonse angagwiritsidwe ntchito. Chinthu chachikulu ndikumvetsetsa zomwe malingalirowa amatiuza.
Kutengeka kulikonse, kaya kukhala kolimbikitsa kapena ayi, kumatha kukhala kogwira ntchito kapena kosokonekera.
Nkhawa imachenjeza za ngozi. Mkwiyo ndi wa kuphwanya malamulo athu. Kukwiyitsa kumatiuza kuti wina watichitira zinthu mopanda chilungamo. Manyazi — kuti ena atikane. Kulakwa - kuti timadzivulaza tokha kapena ena, taphwanya malamulo a makhalidwe abwino. Nsanje - kuti titaya maubwenzi abwino. Kaduka—kuti wina ali ndi chinachake chimene ife tiribe. Chisoni chimalankhula kutayika, ndi zina zotero.
Chilichonse mwamalingaliro awa, kaya ndi abwino kapena ayi, amatha kugwira ntchito komanso osagwira ntchito, kapena, mophweka, athanzi komanso opanda thanzi.
Kuphunzira Kusiyanitsa Maganizo
Kodi mungamvetse bwanji zomwe mukukumana nazo pakali pano, wathanzi kapena ayi? Kusiyana koyamba ndi koonekeratu ndikuti kutengeka maganizo kumasokoneza moyo wathu. Iwo ndi ochulukirapo (osakwanira pazochitika zomwe zinawapangitsa) ndipo "osakhazikika" kwa nthawi yaitali, zimayambitsa nkhawa kwambiri. Palinso njira zinanso.
Kutengeka maganizo:
- kusokoneza zolinga zathu ndi mfundo zathu,
- kumabweretsa kuzunzika kwambiri komanso kutsitsa,
- chifukwa cha zikhulupiriro zopanda nzeru.
Zogwira ntchito ndizosavuta kuziwongolera. Zosagwira ntchito - molingana ndi kumverera kwamkati - ndizosatheka. Munthuyo akuwoneka kuti "akwiyira" kapena "kumunyamula".
Tiyerekeze kuti mukusangalala kwambiri chifukwa mwalandira zimene mwakhala mukuzifuna kwa nthawi yaitali. Kapena chinachake chimene simunachilote nkomwe: munapambana lotale, munapatsidwa bonasi yaikulu, nkhani yanu inasindikizidwa m’magazini ofunika kwambiri asayansi. Kodi chimwemwe chimenechi sichikuyenda bwino?
Chinthu choyamba chimene chimakopa chidwi ndi mphamvu. Inde, malingaliro abwino angakhalenso aakulu kwambiri. Koma tikawona kuti kumverera kumatigwira kwathunthu ndipo kwa nthawi yayitali, kumatisokoneza, kumatilepheretsa kuyang'ana dziko lapansi, kumakhala kosagwira ntchito.
Ndinganene kuti chisangalalo chopanda thanzi choterocho (ena angachitcha euphoria) ndi mkhalidwe wofanana ndi kusokonezeka maganizo mu matenda a maganizo ochititsa munthu kusinthasintha zochitika. Zotsatira zake ndikuwongolera kofooka, kunyalanyaza zovuta ndi zoopsa, kudziwonera nokha ndi ena. Munthawi imeneyi, munthu nthawi zambiri amachita zinthu zopanda pake, zopupuluma.
Nthawi zambiri, kukhumudwa kumakhala kosagwira ntchito. Nthawi zambiri amabisa zikhulupiriro zopanda nzeru
Mwachitsanzo, munthu amene wapeza ndalama zambiri amawononga ndalamazo mofulumira komanso mosaganizira. Ndipo munthu amene mwadzidzidzi walandira kuzindikirika kuchokera kwa anthu onse, akukumana ndi chisangalalo chopanda thanzi, angayambe kudziyesa mopambanitsa luso lake, kukhala wosadzidzudzula yekha ndi wodzikuza poyerekezera ndi ena. Sadzayesetsa kukonzekera bwino nkhani yotsatira. Ndipo, mwinamwake, izi zidzamulepheretsa kukwaniritsa zolinga zake - kukhala wasayansi weniweni, kulemba monographs yaikulu.
Kumva kokongola kotere monga chikondi kungakhalenso kosayenera. Izi zimachitika pamene chinthu chake (munthu, chinthu kapena ntchito) chikhala chinthu chachikulu m'moyo, kutsekereza china chirichonse. Munthuyo akuganiza kuti: "Ndifa ngati nditaya izi" kapena "Ndiyenera kukhala nazo." Mutha kutcha kumverera uku kutengeka kapena kukhudzika. Mawuwa si ofunikira monga tanthauzo lake: amasokoneza kwambiri moyo. Mphamvu zake sizokwanira pazochitikazo.
N’zoona kuti kaŵirikaŵiri malingaliro oipa amakhala opanda pake. Mwanayo anagwetsa spoon, ndipo mayiyo mokwiya, anayamba kumulalatira. Maganizo olakwikawa nthawi zambiri amabisa zikhulupiriro zopanda nzeru. Mwachitsanzo, mkwiyo wa mayi ungayambe chifukwa cha chikhulupiriro chopanda nzeru chakuti mwanayo ayenera kukhala tcheru ndi chilichonse chimene chamuzungulira.
Chitsanzo china. Nkhawa zosayenera, zomwe tingazitchule kuti mantha kapena mantha, zimatsagana ndi zikhulupiriro monga izi: “Ndikadandichotsa ntchito. Sinditenga. Ndikhala woluza ngati zichitika. Dziko silili chilungamo. Izi siziyenera kuchitika, chifukwa ndinagwira ntchito bwino kwambiri. Nkhawa ya thanzi, imene ingatchedwe kuda nkhaŵa, idzatsagana ndi zikhulupiriro zoterozo: “N’zoipa kuti ndikhoza kuchotsedwa ntchito. Zoyipa kwambiri. Koma osati zoipa. Pali zinthu zoyipa kwambiri. ”
ntchito yakunyumba
Aliyense wa ife amakumana ndi malingaliro osayenera, izi ndi zachilengedwe. Osadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha iwo. Koma ndikofunikira kuphunzira momwe mungawazindikire ndikuwongolera modekha koma mogwira mtima. Zowona, si malingaliro onse amphamvu omwe amafunikira kuunika. Zomwe zimasefukira ndikuchoka nthawi yomweyo (malinga ngati sizibwerezedwa pafupipafupi) sizingasokoneze ife.
Koma ngati mukuona kuti maganizo anu akuwononga moyo wanu, zindikirani mmene akumvera mumtima mwanu ndipo dzifunseni kuti: “Kodi nchiyani chimene ine ndikuganiza pakali pano chimene chingayambitse kutengeka maganizo kumeneku?” Ndipo mudzapeza zikhulupiriro zambiri zopanda nzeru, kusanthula zomwe mudzapeza zodabwitsa, mudzatha kuthana ndi vutoli ndikuphunzira kulamulira maganizo anu.
Luso losinthira chidwi limathandiza - kuyatsa nyimbo, kuyenda, kupuma mozama, kuthamanga
Zingakhale zovuta kuchita njirayi nokha. Imaphunzitsidwa bwino, monga luso lililonse, pang'onopang'ono, motsogozedwa ndi akatswiri ozindikira-makhalidwe.
Kuphatikiza pa kusintha zomwe zili m'malingaliro, chizolowezi chowonera zomwe wakumana nazo - kulingalira - kumathandizira kumasulira malingaliro olakwika kukhala athanzi. Chofunikira cha ntchitoyi ndikuchoka ku malingaliro ndi malingaliro, kuwaganizira patali, kuwayang'ana kumbali, ngakhale atakhala amphamvu bwanji.
Komanso nthawi zina luso losinthira chidwi limathandiza - kuyatsa nyimbo, kuyenda, kupuma mozama, kuthamanga kapena kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Kusintha kwa ntchito kumatha kufooketsa kutengeka kosagwira ntchito, ndipo kumatha msanga.