Chifukwa chiyani mwamuna amasiya chidwi ndi mkazi komanso choti achite kuti amubwezere

Kutalikirana m'malingaliro ndikofala m'maubwenzi. Monga lamulo, zimakula pang'onopang'ono, kotero zimakhala zosavuta kuziphonya mpaka mtunda pakati panu ukhale wochuluka.

Pali zifukwa zambiri zochotsera maganizo, zina zomwe zingakhale zokhudzana ndi wokondedwa wanu ndipo zina zingakhale zokhudzana ndi inu. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Guy Winch akuwunikira zifukwa zodziwika bwino zomwe zimapangitsa mnzanuyo kukhala womasuka komanso amakuuzani zoyenera kuchita ngati mwamuna wataya chidwi.

Zifukwa 6 zomwe mwamuna amachoka

1. Cholinga chakwaniritsidwa

Pankhani ya ubwenzi wakuthupi, si zachilendo kuti akazi ndi amuna azichita zinthu zosiyana. Akazi amamva kugwirizana kwakukulu kwamalingaliro ndi kukopa. Ngakhale kuti chikondi cha amuna ena chimatha mosavuta - makamaka pambuyo pa chiyanjano choyamba. Izi zimapangitsa ambiri kudabwa: chifukwa chiyani amuna amataya chidwi akagonana?

Yankho lake ndi losavuta, akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Mark Rosenfeld. "Mosasamala kanthu za momwe mwamuna amachitira asanakhale ndi kugonana koyamba, chifukwa chenicheni chomwe amasiya chidwi pambuyo pake ndikuti samamva kukopeka kokwanira" kopanda thupi "kwa inu," katswiriyo akutsimikiza.

Zoonadi, pali mtundu wina wa amuna omwe amangofuna kuti azigonana ndi mkazi basi. Ngati mnyamata poyamba sanali ndi chidwi ndi inu monga munthu, ndiye kuti musadandaule za iye!

2. Muzilakalaka kukhala nokha

Mabanja ambiri, makamaka amene ali ndi ana ang’onoang’ono, amakhala ndi nthawi yochepa chabe yochitira okha zinthu. Anthu ena amayesa kudzipatula mwa kuvala mahedifoni kapena kuzimitsa poloŵerera m’maprogramu a pa TV kapena mafoni awo. Ngati ndi choncho, njira yabwino ndiyo kufunsa mnzanuyo ngati akufunika kukhala pawekha, ndikukambirana momwe mungapangire nthawi komanso nthawi yotalikirana. Ndibwino kuti mgwirizanowo ukhale wogwirizana komanso muli ndi nthawi yanu. 

3. Kupanikizika ndi vuto 

Anthu nthawi zambiri amayankha kupsinjika kwakukulu ndi kupsinjika maganizo ndi kusiya. Zotani ngati zili choncho? Ngati pali zovuta zodziwikiratu pazantchito za mnzanu kapena moyo wanu, Guy Winch akulangizani kuti akufunseni momwe akuchitira, ngati kuli kotheka. Muyenera kukambirana zomwe mungachite kuti muchepetse kapena kuthana ndi nkhawa. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mwamuna akhoza kuvutika maganizo, mokoma mtima auzeni kuti akawone dokotala.

4. Maganizo sali ofanana

Kodi mnzanuyo sakuyika nthawi ndi mphamvu muubwenzi monga momwe amachitira poyamba? Kupewa ubwenzi? Kodi simukumvetsa zomwe zidachitika? Osayambitsa ndewu, m'malo mwake sankhani nthawi yolankhula. Musamachite zimenezi mwachisawawa kuti mwamunayo akonzekere m’maganizo kukambirana za chibwenzicho.

Mufunseni mmene amakuonerani komanso ngati pali zinthu zimene angafune kusintha kuti akhale wosangalala. Musanayankhe, onetsetsani kuti mukumvetsa bwino maganizo ake (izi ndizovuta, koma zofunika). Ngati sakufuna kapena sangathe kukambirana njira zotsitsimutsanso chibwenzi, mungafune kupereka chithandizo kwa maanja.

5. Mkombero wa kupewa

Mwamuna akuganiza kuti mumadalira iye, choncho amabwerera mmbuyo, zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso mantha. Kutengeka maganizo kumeneku kumapangitsa munthu kukhala ndi chilakolako chofuna kudziwa chomwe chalakwika nthawi yomweyo, zomwe zimachititsa kuti mnzanuyo abwererenso, zomwe zimangopitirizabe kuzungulira.

Kudziwa ngati mphamvu zimenezi ndi wopalamula mu ubale mavuto, kutenga kanthawi sitepe mmbuyo ndi «kufunika» munthu pang'ono zochepa - osachepera kwa sabata. Ngati mnzanuyo ayankha mwa kutenthetsa ndikukhala ndi chidwi komanso ofikirika, ndiye kuti tsopano mukudziwa momwe mungaswere bwalo loipali.

6. Kuzungulira kwa kudzudzula ndi kuyimitsidwa

Kutalikirana ndi mnzanu nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa ululu waukulu. Mutha kumuyankha modzudzula kapena kukwiyira, nthawi zonse kuwonetsa kusakondwera kwanu ndi mnzanu.

Pachifukwa ichi, mwamunayo akhoza kusiya kwambiri, chifukwa adzawopa kuti kuyesa kulikonse kungayambitse kutsutsa kwambiri. Kuti muthetse vutoli, onetsetsani kuti kulankhulana kwanu ndi mnzanuyo kumatsatira lamulo la 80-20: osachepera 80 peresenti ya kulankhulana kwanu kuyenera kukhala kopanda ndale kapena kolimbikitsa, ndi 20 peresenti yokha yolakwika.

Koma chofunika kwambiri, kulankhula! Musayambe mikangano, musamenye mbale, musamadzilowetse m'maganizo mwanu. Pamene mukukambirana ndi anzanu pa kapu ya khofi amene akazi mwamuna kutaya chidwi, mukhoza mofulumira kwambiri kukhala mmodzi wa iwo. Osachita mantha kufotokozera wokondedwa wanu zakukhosi kwanu ndi zomwe mwakumana nazo, koma chitani ndi kudziletsa. Ndipo kumbukirani, chifukwa cha kutayika kwa chidwi, kuchotsedwa kapena kutengeka maganizo kwa mwamuna kungakhale chirichonse, osati inu nokha. Choncho nthawi zonse yesetsani kumvetsa mnzanuyo musanadumphe kuganiza.