Timalingalira limodzi ndi akatswiri azamisala zoyenera kuchita ndi izi komanso ngati kuli kofunikira.
"Ukudziwa, ndikunyoza chabe," mnzake adandiuza kale. - Mumamuveka miyezi isanu ndi inayi, mumabereka zowawa, ndipo samangokhala ngati bambo ake, komanso amamukonda kwambiri! ”Atafunsidwa ngati akukokomeza, mnzake adapukusa mutu wake motsimikiza kuti:" Amakana kugona wopanda iye. Ndipo nthawi iliyonse, pamene abambo amapita pakhomo, mwanayo amakhala wamisala. "
Zikuoneka kuti amayi ambiri akukumana ndi chodabwitsa chotere - sagona usiku chifukwa cha mwana, amapereka zonse, koma mwana amakonda abambo ake. Chifukwa chiyani izi zimachitika? Zoyenera kuchita ndi izi? Ndipo chofunikira kwambiri, kodi muyenera kuchita kanthu?
Akatswiri azamaganizidwe akuti ana azaka zosiyanasiyana amatha kudzisankhira okha "okondedwa" osiyanasiyana. Izi zimagwira amayi ndi abambo onse. Ali wakhanda, awa ndi amayi. Ali ndi zaka zitatu mpaka zisanu, atha kukhala bambo. Muunyamata, zonse zidzasinthidwanso. Pakhoza kukhala maulendo angapo kapena awiri otere. Akatswiri azamisala amalangiza ngati izi, makamaka, kuti mupumule. Kupatula apo, amakondanabe nonse awiri. Kungoti tsopano, pakadali pano, ndichosangalatsa kuti azicheza ndi m'modzi wa inu.
“Kukula kwamaganizidwe a mwana adakali wamng'ono, kuyambira chaka chimodzi mpaka zitatu, kumadziwika ndi nthawi yamavuto yomwe imadutsanadi. Ali ndi zaka zitatu, mwana kwa nthawi yoyamba amayamba kudzipatula kwa amayi ake, omwe mpaka nthawi imeneyo amadzilingalira. Amakhala wodziimira payekha, amaphunzira kugwira ntchito zosiyanasiyana payekha, ”anafotokoza motero katswiri wamaganizidwe Marina Bespalova.
Kupatukana kwachilengedwe kumatha kukhala kopweteka, koma kofunikira
Zifukwa zomwe mwana amatha kusunthira mwadzidzidzi kwa amayi ndi "kumamatira" kwa abambo zimatha kukhala zosiyana. Izi zonse zimatengera mawonekedwe a psyche ya mwanayo. Koma nthawi zina chifukwa chimatha kugona pansi: mfundo yonse ndi nthawi yochuluka yomwe makolo amakhala ndi mwana wawo. Amayi tsopano, achidziwikire, ali ndi mwana usana ndi usiku. Koma funso apa ndi mtundu wa nthawi yomwe mumakhala ndi iye, osati kuchuluka kwake.
"Ngati mayi amakhala ndi mwana wake usana ndi usiku, aliyense amangotopa ndi izi: iye ndi iye," akutero a Galina Okhotnikova, katswiri wama psychology. - Kupatula apo, amatha kukhala pafupi, koma sichoncho. Chofunika ndi nthawi yabwino yomwe timakhala ndi mwana, kumangomvera zonse za iye, malingaliro ake ndi nkhawa zake, nkhawa ndi zokhumba zake. Ndipo ali nawo, onetsetsani. "
Malinga ndi katswiriyu, zitha kukhala mphindi 15 - 20 zokha, koma kwa mwana ndizofunikira kwambiri - zofunika kwambiri kuposa nthawi yomwe mumangokhala muli ndi bizinesi yanu.
Kukondana ndi mwana kwa kholo limodzi kungakhale kopweteka. Mwachitsanzo, mwana salola kuti amayi ake amusiye, sangakhale payekhapayekha, amakhala pafupi kulikonse: kubafa, mchimbudzi, amadyera limodzi. Sanafune kukhala ndi wamkulu wina - ngakhale ndi abambo ake, kapena ndi agogo ake, ngakhale pang'ono ndi namwino. Kupita ku sukulu ya mkaka kulinso vuto.
Marina Bespalova akufotokoza kuti: "Kugwirizana kotereku kumawononga matenda amisala a mwana, kumamupangitsa kukhala wamakhalidwe abwino ndipo nthawi zambiri kumayambitsa kupsa mtima kwa makolo."
Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zingapo za khalidweli. Choyamba ndi kusapezeka kwa malire ndi malamulo m'moyo wa mwana. Izi nthawi zambiri zimachitika mwana akazindikira kuti akhoza kukwaniritsa zomwe akufuna mothandizidwa ndi kulira ndi kulira.
“Ngati kholo silili wolimba pachisankho chake, mwanayo adzamumvera ndipo amayesetsa kukwaniritsa zomwe akufuna mothandizidwa ndi chipwirikiti,” watero katswiri wamaganizidwe.
Chachiwiri, mwanayo amawonetsa momwe makolo ake amakhalira. Mwana amatengeka kwambiri ndimikhalidwe ndi malingaliro a akulu. Kusintha kulikonse kwa makolo kumatha kuyambitsa kusintha kwamakhalidwe mwa mwanayo.
"Kwenikweni, nthawi zambiri pamakhala zochitika pamene chikondi cha kholo ndi mwana chimakhala champhamvu kwambiri kotero kuti kholo, mosazindikira, limayambitsa mantha ndi mkwiyo mwa mwanayo," akufotokoza Marina Bespalova.
Chifukwa chachitatu ndi mantha, mantha mwa mwanayo. Zomwe - muyenera kuthana ndi katswiri.
Ayi, chabwino, bwanji. Ngati mwanayo sakuwonetsa mkwiyo, kusokoneza komanso zowawa, ndiye kuti muyenera kupumula: siyani chipongwe chanu, chifukwa ndiopusa kukhumudwa kuti mnyamatayo amakonda abambo ake.
"Dzisamalire. Mayi akapunthwa, kukwiya, mwanayo amatha kutuluka kwambiri. Kupatula apo, amangowerenga momwe zinthu ziliri, momwe akumvera, ”akutero a Galina Okhotnikova.
Mayi akasangalala, iye ndi aliyense m'banjamo amalimbikitsa chisangalalo. “Ndikofunika kuti amayi amvetsetse zomwe iwowo akufuna. Osachita zomwe chilengedwe chimamuwuza, koma zomwe iye amawona kuti ndizoyenera. Mupeza choti mungachite momwe mungakonde, siyani kumvera zomwe zakhazikitsidwa, maofesi, kudzipangira nokha, ndiye kuti mudzakhala osangalala, "akutero katswiriyo. Kupanda kutero, mwanayo, kutsatira zomwe makolo amachita, adzadziyendetsa mofananamo.
Ndipo kuti mwana amafunitsitsa kuthera nthawi yochulukirapo ndi abambo ake kumapereka mpata wabwino kuti pamapeto pake azigwiritsa ntchito nthawi yake yaulere momwe amafunira: kukumana ndi abwenzi, kupita kokayenda, kuchita zosangalatsa zomwe zaiwalika kale. Khalani mtundu wabwino kwambiri wa inu nokha.
Ndipo, zowonadi, khalani ndi nthawi yochulukirapo ndi ana anu - nthawi yabwino kwambiri, yopanda zida zilizonse komanso kusakhazikika.