Zamkatimu
Timakumana ndi anthu osiyanasiyana panjira yathu, kuphatikiza odzikonda, okonda kugula, osatha kumva moona mtima. Nthawi ndi nthawi izi zimachitika kwa aliyense, koma ngati tiyesa kupanga mgwirizano ndi munthu wotere nthawi ndi nthawi, ichi ndi chifukwa choganiza.
Zingawonekere, chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kukhala adani athu ndikufikira mwadala okhawo omwe amativutitsa? Komabe, mbiri imadzibwereza yokha ndipo timasiyidwanso ndi mtima wosweka. "Ndife okonzeka kuvomereza mosavuta kuti tikukopa anthu omwe satilemekeza. Zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuthetsa vutoli, "anatero katswiri wa zamaganizo a m'banja ndi katswiri wa maubwenzi apakati pa anthu Marni Fuerman. Amapereka kusanthula chifukwa chake mabwenzi olakwika amabwera m'miyoyo yathu.
1. Mbiri ya banja
Kodi ubale wa makolo ako unali bwanji? Mwinamwake makhalidwe oipa a mmodzi wa iwo amabwerezedwa mwa bwenzi lake. Ngati muubwana munalibe chidziwitso chokhazikika komanso chikondi chopanda malire, ndiye kuti mukhoza kukonzanso zochitika za ubale ndi mnzanu. Zonse kuti mukhale moyo kachiwiri mosazindikira, yesani kuzimvetsa ndikusintha. Komabe, m’chitokoso choterocho cha m’mbuyomo, sitingathe kuchotsa malingaliro ovuta amene tinali nawo paubwana.
2. Makhalidwe amene amatanthauza maubwenzi
Kumbukirani maubwenzi onse omwe, pazifukwa zina, sanayende bwino. Ngakhale zitakhala zosakhalitsa, zimakukhudzani. Yesetsani kuzindikira mikhalidwe yomwe imadziwika bwino kwambiri kwa okondedwa anu, ndi zinthu zomwe zidasokoneza mgwirizano wanu. Yesani kusanthula ngati pali china chomwe chimagwirizanitsa anthu onsewa komanso zochitika za ubale.
3. Udindo wanu mu mgwirizano
Kodi mumakonda kudziona ngati osatetezeka? Kodi mukuda nkhawa kuti ubalewo utha, ndikuyitanitsa anthu omwe angakuyendereni mosadziwa kuti agwiritse ntchito mwayi wanu pachiwopsezo? Ndikoyeneranso kusanthula zomwe mukufuna: kodi ndinu ozindikira mokwanira za mgwirizanowu?
Ngati mukuyembekeza kuti mnzanuyo akhale wangwiro, mosakayikira mudzakhumudwa naye. Ngati mumadzudzula mbali inayo chifukwa cha kugwa kwa chiyanjano, kuchotsa udindo uliwonse kwa inu nokha, izi zikhoza kukhala zovuta kumvetsa chifukwa chake zonse zinachitika momwe zinachitikira.
Kodi ndizotheka kulembanso zomwe mwachizolowezi? Marnie Fuerman akutsimikiza inde. Izi ndi zomwe akufuna kuchita.
Madeti oyamba
Muziwaona ngati msonkhano ndi munthu watsopano kwa inu, palibenso china. Ngakhale inu yomweyo anamva otchedwa «umagwirira», izi sizikutanthauza kuti munthuyo adzakhala pafupi nanu. Ndikofunikira kuti nthawi yokwanira yadutsa kuti mutha kuyankha nokha funso ngati pali china choposa kukopa kwakuthupi komwe kumakumangani. Kodi zokonda zanu, zikhulupiriro zanu, malingaliro anu pa moyo zimagwirizana? Kodi mukuphonya mafoni odzutsa okhudza mikhalidwe yomwe idapangitsa kuti ubale wanu wakale ulephereke? Fuerman akusonyeza kuganiza.
Osathamangira zinthu, ngakhale mukufunadi kuthamangira kumalingaliro owala. Dzipatseni nthawi.
Kuyang'ana kwatsopano pa ife tokha
Fuerman anati: “M’moyo, zinthu zimene timakhulupirira zimachitikadi. “Umu ndi mmene ubongo wathu umagwirira ntchito: umasankha zizindikiro zakunja zimene umamasulira monga umboni wa zimene tinkakhulupirira poyamba. Pankhaniyi, mikangano ina yonse imanyalanyazidwa. Ngati mukukhulupirira kuti pazifukwa zina simuli woyenera kukondedwa, ndiye kuti mumasefa mosazindikira chidwi cha anthu omwe amakutsimikizirani mwanjira ina.
Panthawi imodzimodziyo, zizindikiro zoipa - mawu kapena zochita za wina - zimawerengedwa ngati umboni wina wosatsutsika wa kusalakwa kwanu. Kungakhale koyenera kuganiziranso malingaliro okhudza inuyo, omwe alibe chochita ndi zenizeni.
Khazikitsani kusintha
Sizingatheke kulembanso zakale, koma kusanthula moona mtima zomwe zidachitika kudzakuthandizani kuti musagwere mumsampha womwewo. Mwa kubwereza khalidwe lomwelo, timazolowera. "Komabe, kumvetsetsa zomwe mukufuna kusintha muubwenzi wanu ndi mnzanu yemwe mungagwirizane naye, pazochitika zomwe mungagwirizane nazo komanso zomwe simungapirire nazo, ndi sitepe yaikulu yopambana," katswiriyo akutsimikiza. - Ndikofunikira kukonzekera kuti sizinthu zonse zomwe zidzachitike nthawi yomweyo. Ubongo, wozoloŵera kale ndondomeko yokhazikika yowunika zochitika ndi kupanga yankho, zidzatenga nthawi kuti zisinthe machitidwe amkati.
Ndizothandiza kulemba zigawo zonsezo pamene luso latsopano lolankhulirana linakuthandizani ndikukupangitsani kukhala olimba mtima, komanso zolakwa zanu. Kuwona izi papepala kudzakuthandizani kuwongolera bwino zomwe zikuchitika komanso osabwereranso ku zochitika zakale.
Za wolemba: Marnie Fuerman ndi katswiri wama psychologist wabanja komanso katswiri wazolumikizana ndi anthu.