Nchifukwa chiyani timasiya mabwenzi?

Azimayi nthawi zambiri amabwera kwa ine kudzandipatsa uphungu ndi zovuta pamoyo wawo. Kwa ena, pali vuto mu ubale ndi mnzako, kwa ena, "kuunika", msonkhano wowawa ndi zenizeni, ndipo ena akukumana ndi kulekana ndi kupweteka kwa imfa.

Mu chikhalidwe ichi, n'zovuta kumvetsa kuti ngakhale zinthu zili zowawa bwanji, zimafuna chinthu chimodzi chokha kuchokera kwa ife - kukula ndi kusintha. Ndikofunikira kudutsa njira yovuta kuchokera ku mkwiyo pa mnzanu kupita kukuthokoza. Sikuti aliyense amachita bwino: ambiri amakakamira gawo loyamba la kupatukana ndikupitiliza kukhala ndi mkwiyo komanso mkwiyo. Mutha kusintha pongogwira ntchito nokha - nokha kapena ndi psychotherapist, kusungunula mu zowawa, kukhala ndi malingaliro opanda tsankho.

Ziribe kanthu zomwe makasitomala amabwera kwa ine, ambiri amakhumudwa kwambiri ndi okondedwa awo. N’chifukwa chiyani zimenezi zikuchitika? N’chifukwa chiyani zaka za m’banja zimatha ndi maganizo olemetsa chonchi?

Mantha osakanikirana ndi chikhumbo cha chikondi

Yankho kaŵirikaŵiri limapezeka muubwana. Ngati mtsikana anakulira m’malo otetezeka ndi achikondi, zimamuthandiza kuphunzira kumvetsera zosoŵa zake ndi kumvetsetsa zokhumba zake. Ndikosavuta kuti atsikana otere amve mawu awo amkati, kupanga zosankha, kunena kuti "ayi" ndikukana omwe sakuwayenerera. Iwo anaphunzitsidwa chinthu chachikulu - kulemekeza ndi kusankha okha - ndipo amasankha pang'onopang'ono, moganizira, yemwe amawayenereradi.

Ndipo nchiyani chimene chimachitika kwa awo amene anakulira m’banja losakwanira, kapena kuyambira paubwana anaona misozi ya amayi awo, kapena kumva kukuwa, chitonzo, chidzudzulo, chitsutso, zoletsedwa? Atsikana oterowo asokoneza kudzidalira, kudzidalira kwambiri, palibe chithandizo chamkati chomwe chapangidwa, palibe miyezo, palibe malingaliro okhudza mwamuna woyenera komanso momwe angapangire malire aumwini. Ali ndi maphunziro ambiri ovuta kuti aphunzire.

Kawirikawiri atsikana oterowo amalota kukula mofulumira, kukwatiwa ndipo potsiriza kupeza malo otetezeka. Koma mkazi wopwetekedwa mtima sangathe kumanga ubale wabwino ndi mwamuna - mpaka atachiritsa msungwana wake wamkati. Zikuwoneka kwa iye kuti mnzake akhoza kukhala chipulumutso chake, koma kwenikweni amangokhumudwitsidwa ndikuyenda mozungulira mpaka atazindikira kuti chifukwa cha zolephera zake sizili mwa amuna, koma mwa iye yekha, mumayendedwe ake amkati, malingaliro ndi malingaliro. . Iye mwini amakopa amuna ena.

Munthu wathanzi m'maganizo amalowa mu ubale kale mu kuchuluka, chidzalo, chisangalalo. Chikhumbo chachibadwa mu mkhalidwe umenewu ndicho kugawana chimwemwe chanu ndi munthu yemweyo, kumpatsa chikondi ndi kuchilandira mobwezera. M’chigwirizano chogwirizana chotero, chimwemwe chimachuluka. Anthu opwetekedwa mtima, osungulumwa, okhumudwa, osasangalala amakhala odalirana maganizo, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti ali ndi mavuto atsopano ndi kuvutika.

Kodi ndikofunikira kuyang'ana "imodzi"

Nthawi zambiri, kuthamangira mwachangu kufunafuna chikondi, timayiwala za nthawi yofunika ya ubale usanachitike. Chinthu chachikulu kwa ife panthawi ino ndikukhala munthu wosangalala komanso wogwirizana. Pezani chikondi mwa inu nokha, kukula mpaka kukula kotero kuti ndizokwanira kwa inu nokha ndi mnzanu wamtsogolo.

Panthawi imeneyi, ndi bwino kuthetsa maubwenzi onse akale, kukhululukira makolo, inu nokha, abwenzi, exes, kutenga udindo pa chirichonse chimene chinachitika, ndi kuphunzira kusangalala ndi moyo kachiwiri.

Momwe mungathetsere kusiyana

Pambuyo pa kulekana, ambiri amadzizunza okha pofufuza chifukwa cha zomwe zinachitika, akudzifunsa mobwerezabwereza funso lakuti: "Chavuta ndi chiyani?" Tikamasiyana, timataya osati okondedwa okha, komanso moyo wa anthu, chikhalidwe cha anthu komanso tokha, chifukwa chake zimapweteka kwambiri. Koma ndi ululu umenewu pamene machiritso amanama.

Ndikofunikira kusiya kuwononga nthawi kufunafuna zifukwa za kutha ndi kudzithandiza kupeza mipata m'moyo wanu ndi kudzaza aliyense wa iwo. Zitha kukhala:

• mipata pakudziona ngati munthu (yemwe ndili, chifukwa chiyani ndikukhala),
• kusiyana m'zochita zamagulu (ndi ndani komanso momwe ndimalankhulirana),
• kusiyana m'ntchito ndi zachuma.

Titapatukana, nthawi zambiri timayamba idealize mnzathu wakale: timakumbukira kumwetulira kwake, manja, maulendo olowa, kudzipangitsa tokha zoipa. Tiyeneranso kukumbukira zoipa - mmene zinali zovuta kwa ife nthawi zina.

Kutaya chikondi, nthawi zambiri timayambanso kutsegulanso mabala tokha: timapita ku mbiri ya mnzathu wakale pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, kuyang'ana zithunzi, kulemba SMS, kulankhula ndi abwenzi kwa maola ambiri za kupatukana, kulira nyimbo zachisoni ... mkhalidwe ndikuchedwetsa kuchira.

Ndikofunikira kuvomereza zomwe zidachitika ndikusiya kufunafuna zifukwa.

Ngati wokondedwa wanu akukumana ndi kutha kowawa, muthandizeni: ndizovuta kuti mupulumuke pamavuto akulu am'maganizo nokha. Nthawi zambiri amatsagana ndi kusowa tulo, kuchepetsedwa chitetezo chokwanira, obsessive maganizo, nthawi zina, zinthu zikhoza kutha mu matenda maganizo. Ndipo pamene wokondedwayo akumva bwino pang'ono, muthandizeni kumvetsa kuti zomwe zinachitika sizinali «zolakwika zowopsya» - zinali zochitika zapadera za moyo zomwe zidzathandizadi kukhala amphamvu ndipo zidzakhala zothandiza m'tsogolomu.