Chifukwa chiyani timafuna chikondi moyipa koma osachipeza?

Zikuwoneka kuti tili ndi mwayi uliwonse wopeza omwe ali ndi chidwi kwa ife: malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi mafoni a m'manja ali okonzeka kupatsa aliyense mwayi ndikulonjeza kuti adzapeza bwenzi mwamsanga pa kukoma kulikonse. Koma zimativutabe kupeza chikondi chathu, kulumikizana ndikukhala limodzi.

mtengo wapamwamba

Ngati akatswiri a chikhalidwe cha anthu ayenera kukhulupirira, nkhawa yomwe timaganizira za chikondi chachikulu ndi yolondola. Kumva chikondi sikunayambe kuonedwa kuti n'kofunika kwambiri. Zili pa maziko a maubwenzi athu, zimasunga kwambiri anthu: pambuyo pake, ndi chikondi chomwe chimapanga ndi kuwononga maanja, motero mabanja ndi mabanja.

Nthawi zonse zimakhala ndi zotsatira zoopsa. Aliyense wa ife amaona kuti tsogolo lathu lidzatsimikiziridwa ndi mkhalidwe wa unansi wachikondi umene tiyenera kukhala nawo. “Ndifunikira kukumana ndi mwamuna amene adzandikonda ndi amene ndidzamkonda kuti ndikhale naye ndi kukhala mayi,” akutsutsa motero azaka 35 zakubadwa. "Ndipo ngati ndisiya kukondana naye, ndisudzulana," ambiri mwa omwe amakhala kale m'mabanja akufulumira kufotokoza ...

Mlingo wa ziyembekezo zathu pankhani ya maubwenzi achikondi wakwera kwambiri. Poyang'anizana ndi zokhumba zomwe anthu oti angakhale nawo okwatirana amafuna, ambiri aife timadzimva "osakwanira" ndipo sitipeza mphamvu zopangira chibwenzi. Ndipo kusagwirizana komwe kuli kosapeweka mu ubale wa anthu awiri okondana kumasokoneza maximalists omwe amavomereza pa chikondi choyenera.

Achinyamata nawonso sanazengereze kuda nkhaŵa wamba. Zoonadi, kutsegula chikondi pa msinkhu uwu ndi koopsa: pali mwayi waukulu kuti sitingakondedwe pobwezera, ndipo achinyamata ali pachiopsezo komanso osatetezeka. Koma masiku ano, mantha awo akuwonjezereka nthawi zambiri. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Patrice Huer anati: “Amafuna chikondi chachikondi, monganso m’maprogramu a pa TV, ndipo panthaŵi imodzimodziyo amadzikonzekeretsa kukhala ndi zibwenzi mothandizidwa ndi mafilimu olaula.”

Kusamvana kwa chidwi

Zotsutsana zamtunduwu zimatilepheretsa kugonja ku zilakolako zachikondi. Timalota kukhala odziyimira pawokha ndikumangirira mfundo ndi munthu wina nthawi imodzi, kukhala pamodzi ndi "kuyenda tokha". Timayika mtengo wapamwamba kwambiri kwa okwatirana ndi banja, timawaona ngati magwero a nyonga ndi chitetezo, ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo timalemekeza ufulu waumwini.

Tikufuna kukhala ndi nkhani yachikondi yodabwitsa, yapaderadera pomwe tikupitilizabe kudziganizira tokha komanso kukula kwathu. Pakadali pano, ngati tikufuna kuyang'anira moyo wathu wachikondi molimba mtima monga momwe tazolowera kukonzekera ndikumanga ntchito, ndiye kuti kudziyiwala tokha, chikhumbo chofuna kudzipereka ku malingaliro athu ndi mayendedwe ena auzimu omwe amapanga chiyambi cha chikondi chidzakhala pansi. kukayikira kwathu.

Choncho, tingakonde kwambiri kumva kuledzera kwa chikondi, otsalira, aliyense kumbali yathu, omizidwa kwathunthu pakupanga njira zathu zamakhalidwe, akatswiri komanso azachuma. Koma momwe tingadumphire molunjika mu dziwe lachilakolako, ngati tcheru, chilango ndi kulamulira zimafunika kwa ife m'madera ena? Zotsatira zake, sitimangoopa kupanga ndalama zopanda phindu mwa okwatirana, komanso kuyembekezera zopindula kuchokera ku mgwirizano wachikondi.

Kuopa kudzitaya

"M'nthawi yathu, kuposa kale lonse, chikondi n'chofunika kuti tidzizindikire, ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo sizingatheke ndendende chifukwa mu ubale wachikondi sitikuyang'ana wina, koma kudzidziwitsa," akufotokoza motero Umberto Galimberti.

Pamene tizolowera kuika patsogolo kukhutiritsa zofuna zathu, m'pamenenso zimakhala zovuta kuti tigonje. Choncho ife monyadira kuwongola mapewa athu ndi kulengeza kuti umunthu wathu «Ine» ndi wofunika kuposa chikondi ndi banja. Ngati titaya kanthu, timataya chikondi. Koma sitinabadwe kudziko tokha, timakhala iwo. Msonkhano uliwonse, chochitika chilichonse chimapanga zochitika zathu zapadera. Chochitikacho chikamawala kwambiri, m'pamenenso m'pamenenso chitsanzo chake chikuzama. Ndipo m’lingaliro limeneli, zochepera tingaziyerekeze ndi chikondi.

"Chikondi ndi kudzisokoneza, chifukwa munthu wina wadutsa njira yathu," akuyankha Umberto Galimberti. - Pachiwopsezo chathu komanso pachiwopsezo, amatha kuphwanya ufulu wathu, kusintha umunthu wathu, kuwononga njira zonse zodzitetezera. Koma ngati panalibe kusintha kumeneku komwe kumandiphwanya, kundipweteka, kundiika pangozi, ndiye ndikanalola bwanji wina kuwoloka njira yanga - iye yekha amene angandilole kuti ndipitirire ndekha?

Musadzitaye nokha, koma pitirirani nokha. Kukhala yekha, koma kale osiyana - pa gawo latsopano m'moyo.

Nkhondo ya amuna kapena akazi

Koma zovuta zonsezi, zomwe zikuchulukirachulukira m'nthawi yathu ino, sizingafanane ndi nkhawa yayikulu yomwe imatsagana ndi kukopa kwa amuna ndi akazi kuyambira kalekale. Manthawa amabadwa chifukwa cha mpikisano wosazindikira.

Kupikisana kwachikale kumazikidwa pa phata la chikondi. Izi zimabisika masiku ano chifukwa cha kufanana kwa anthu, koma mpikisano wakale umadzitsimikizirabe, makamaka mwa maanja omwe ali ndi ubale wautali. Ndipo zigawo zambiri zachitukuko zomwe zimayang'anira miyoyo yathu sizingathe kubisa mantha a aliyense wa ife pamaso pa munthu wina.

M'moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, zimadziwonetsera kuti akazi amaopa kudaliranso, kugonjera mwamuna, kapena kuzunzidwa ndi liwongo ngati akufuna kuchoka. Amuna, kumbali ina, amawona kuti mkhalidwe wa okwatirana ukukhala wosalamulirika, kuti sangathe kupikisana ndi atsikana awo aakazi, ndipo amangokhalira kungokhala pafupi nawo.

“Kumene amuna ankabisa mantha awo pambuyo pa kunyozedwa, kusalabadira ndi chiwawa, lerolino ambiri a iwo amasankha kuthaŵa,” akutero katswiri wa zabanja Catherine Serrurier. "Izi sizikutanthauza kusiya banja, koma kuthawa komwe sakufunanso kuchita nawo maubale, "asiyeni" iwo.

Kusowa chidziwitso cha ena monga chifukwa cha mantha? Iyi ndi nkhani yakale, osati mu geopolitics, komanso chikondi. Kuopa kumawonjezera kusadzidziwa, zilakolako zakuya ndi zotsutsana zamkati. Kuti mupeze chikondi chanu, nthawi zina ndikwanira kusiya malo otetezera, kumva chikhumbo chofuna kuphunzira zinthu zatsopano ndikuphunzira kukhulupirirana. Kukhulupirirana ndiko kumapanga maziko a banja lililonse.

Kuyamba kosayembekezereka

Koma kodi tikudziwa bwanji kuti iye amene tsogolo lathu linatibweretsera limodzi ndi woyenerera kwa ife? Kodi n'zotheka kuzindikira kumverera kwakukulu? Palibe maphikidwe ndi malamulo, koma pali nkhani zolimbikitsa zomwe aliyense amene amapita kukafunafuna chikondi amafunikira kwambiri.

“Ndinakumana ndi mwamuna wanga wamtsogolo m’basi,” akukumbukira motero Laura, wazaka 30.— Kaŵirikaŵiri ndimachita manyazi kulankhula ndi anthu osawadziŵa, kukhala m’mahedifoni, kuyang’ana pawindo, kapena kuntchito. Mwachidule, ndimapanga khoma kuzungulira ndekha. Koma anakhala pafupi nane, ndipo zinathekadi kuti tinacheza mosalekeza mpaka kufika m’nyumba.

Sindingachitche chikondi poyang'ana koyamba, m'malo mwake, panali malingaliro amphamvu oikidwiratu, koma mwanjira yabwino. Chidziwitso changa chinandiuza kuti munthu uyu adzakhala gawo lofunikira m'moyo wanga, kuti adzakhala ... inde, ameneyo.