Zamkatimu
Nthawi zina zinthu zosavuta zimaoneka ngati zosatheka. Mwachitsanzo, anthu ena amakhala ndi mantha kapena mantha akafuna kupempha munthu wina kuti awathandize. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Jonis Webb amakhulupirira kuti pali zifukwa ziwiri zochitira izi, ndipo amaziganizira pogwiritsa ntchito zitsanzo ziwiri kuchokera muzochita zake.
Sophie anasangalala atasamutsidwira ku ntchito ina. Anali ndi mwayi wogwiritsa ntchito zomwe adapeza pamaphunziro ake a MBA. Koma mu sabata yoyamba ya ntchito, iye anazindikira kuti sangathe kupirira zonse yekha. Chinachake chinali kufunidwa mosalekeza kwa iye, ndipo anazindikira kuti anafunikiradi chithandizo ndi chichirikizo cha mkulu wake watsopano wapafupiyo. Koma m’malo momufotokozera mmene zinthu zinalili, iye anapitirizabe kulimbana yekha ndi mavuto amene anachuluka.
James anali akukonzeka kusamuka. Kwa mlungu umodzi, tsiku lililonse akaweruka kuntchito, ankaika zinthu zake m’mabokosi. Pofika kumapeto kwa mlungu, anali atatopa. Tsiku losamuka linali kuyandikira, koma sanathe kupempha aliyense wa anzake kuti amuthandize.
Aliyense amafuna kuthandizidwa nthawi zina. Kwa ambiri, kupempha nkosavuta, koma kwa ena ndi vuto lalikulu. Anthu otere amayesetsa kuti asalowe m'mikhalidwe yomwe muyenera kufunsa ena. Chifukwa cha mantha awa ndi chikhumbo chowawa cha kudziyimira pawokha, chifukwa chomwe kufunikira kulikonse kudalira munthu wina kumayambitsa kusapeza.
Nthawi zambiri tikulankhula za mantha enieni, kufikira phobia. Zimakakamiza munthu kukhalabe mu chikwa, kumene amadziona kuti ndi wokwanira, koma sangathe kukula ndikukula.
Kodi chikhumbo chowawa cha kudziimira chimakulepheretsani bwanji kudzizindikira?
1. Zimatilepheretsa kugwiritsa ntchito thandizo limene ena amalandira. Chifukwa chake timangopezeka kuti tataya.
2. Imatipatula kwa ena, timadzimva tokha.
3. Zimatilepheretsa kukhala ndi ubale ndi ena, chifukwa ubale weniweni, wozama pakati pa anthu umamangidwa pakuthandizirana ndi kukhulupirirana.
Kodi n’kuti kumene anakulitsa chikhumbo chofuna kudziimira paokha, n’chifukwa chiyani amaopa kudalira ena?
Sophie ali ndi zaka 13. Analankhulira molunjika kwa amayi ake omwe ali m’tulo, kuopa kuti akwiya akadzutsidwa. Koma alibe chochitira koma kumudzutsa kuti asaine chilolezo kuti Sophie apite kumisasa ndi kalasi tsiku lotsatira. Sophie amayang'ana mwakachetechete kwa mphindi zingapo amayi ake akugona, ndipo, osayesa kuwasokoneza, amangoyang'ana kutali.
James ali ndi zaka 13. Amakulira m'banja losangalala, lokangalika komanso lachikondi. Kuyambira m'mawa mpaka madzulo pamakhala kukambirana kosalekeza za mapulani abanja, masewera a mpira omwe akubwera ndi homuweki. Makolo a James ndi azichimwene ake sakhala ndi nthawi yolankhulana momasuka, choncho samadziwa kuti angachite bwanji. Chifukwa chake, sazindikira kwambiri malingaliro awo komanso malingaliro ndi malingaliro enieni a okondedwa awo.
Chifukwa chiyani Sophie akuwopa kudzutsa amayi ake? N’kutheka kuti mayi ake ndi chidakwa ndipo analedzera n’kugona, ndipo akadzuka, sangadziŵe mmene angachitire. Kapena mwina amagwira ntchito ziwiri kuti azisamalira banja lake, ndipo Sophie akamudzutsa, sangapume mokwanira. Kapena mwina akudwala kapena akuvutika maganizo, ndipo Sophie akuvutika ndi liwongo chifukwa chomupempha chinachake.
Mauthenga amene timalandira tili ana amatikhudza kwambiri, ngakhale kuti sanalankhulidwe ndi aliyense.
Makamaka, tsatanetsatane wabanja la Sophie sizofunikira. Mulimonsemo, amatenga phunziro lomwelo pankhaniyi: musavutike ena kuti akwaniritse zosowa zawo ndi zofunika.
Ambiri angachitire nsanje banja la James. Komabe, achibale ake amauza mwanayo uthenga woti: maganizo anu ndi zosowa zanu nzoipa. Ayenera kubisidwa ndi kuwapewa.
Mauthenga amene timalandira tili ana amatikhudza kwambiri, ngakhale kuti sanalankhulidwe ndi aliyense. Sophie ndi James sadziwa kuti moyo wawo ukulamuliridwa ndi mantha akuti mbali yachibadwa, yathanzi ya umunthu wawo (zofuna zawo zamaganizo) idzavumbulidwa mwadzidzidzi. Amaopa kupempha chinachake kwa anthu amene amawaona kuti ndi ofunika, poganiza kuti chingawawopsyeze. Kuopa kudzimva wofooka kapena kulowerera, kapena kuwoneka choncho kwa ena.
Njira 4 zothanirana ndi mantha zomwe zikulepheretsani kupeza chithandizo
1. Vomerezani mantha anu ndikuwona momwe zimakulepheretsani kulola ena kukuthandizani ndikukuthandizani.
2. Yesetsani kuvomereza kuti zosowa zanu ndi zosowa zanu ndizabwinobwino. Ndinu munthu ndipo munthu aliyense ali ndi zosowa. Musaiwale za iwo, musawaone ngati osafunikira.
3. Kumbukirani kuti amene amakukondani amafuna kuti muziwadalira. Amafuna kukhalapo ndi kukuthandizani, koma mwachiwonekere amakhumudwa kwambiri ndi kukana kwanu kochititsidwa ndi mantha.
4. Yesetsani kupempha thandizo. Dzizolowerani kudalira ena.
Za Wolemba: Jonis Webb ndi katswiri wazamisala komanso psychotherapist.