Zamkatimu
- 1. Chikondi ndi chisamaliro
- 2. Kukhulupirika
- 3. Kufunitsitsa kulandira bwenzi monga iye alili
- 4. Ulemu
- 5. Kuthandizana
- 6. Kukhala otetezeka mwakuthupi ndi m’maganizo
- 7. Kumasukirana
- 8. Kuthandizira umunthu wa wokondedwa
- 9. Kufananiza zoyembekeza
- 10. Kukhala wokonzeka kukhululuka
- 11. Kufunitsitsa kukambirana mikangano iliyonse ndi zotsutsana
- 12. Kutha kusangalala wina ndi mzake ndi moyo
Kodi ubale wachikondi uyenera kuwoneka bwanji? Malinga ndi nyimbozo, mnzathuyo ayenera “kutithandiza”. Malinga ndi sewero lanthabwala, okwatirana amayenera kuthetsa vuto lililonse mu mphindi 30. Hollywood, Komano, akuyesera kutitsimikizira kuti zonse unatheka maubwenzi amamangidwa pa wapadera «chikondi umagwirira» ndi mokhudza, wamisala kugonana. Wothandizira wapanga "malamulo 12" a maubwenzi abwino.
1. Chikondi ndi chisamaliro
Chinthu chofunika kwambiri muubwenzi wabwino ndi chikondi chenicheni. Othandizana nawo amasamalirana ponse paŵiri m’mawu ndi m’zochita, kusonyeza nthaŵi zonse kuti amalemekezana ndi kukondana.
2. Kukhulupirika
Muubwenzi wabwino, okwatirana samamanamizana ndipo samabisa chowonadi. Maubwenzi oterowo ndi owonekera, palibe malo achinyengo mwa iwo.
3. Kufunitsitsa kulandira bwenzi monga iye alili
Mwinamwake mwamva kuti simuyenera kuyamba chibwenzi ndikuyembekeza kusintha wokondedwa wanu pakapita nthawi. Kaya ndi vuto lalikulu kwambiri monga kumwerekera ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena chinthu chaching’ono monga kusatsuka mbale nthawi zonse, ngati mukuyembekezera kuti azichita zinthu mosiyana, mungakhumudwe.
Inde, anthu angathe kusintha, koma iwo eniwo ayenera kuzifuna. Simungathe kukakamiza wokondedwa wanu kuti asinthe, ngakhale mumamukonda bwanji.
4. Ulemu
Kulemekezana kumatanthauza kuti okwatirana amaganizira zakukhosi kwa wina ndi mzake ndi kuchitira wokondedwa wawo momwe angafune kuchitiridwa. Ulemu umakupatsani mwayi wopatula zochitika pamene wina wa okondedwa anu akuwoneka kuti wachiwiriyo amamukakamiza kapena amayesa kumunyengerera. Ali okonzeka kumvetserana wina ndi mzake ndi kulemekeza maganizo a wokondedwa wawo.
5. Kuthandizana
Othandizana nawo ali ndi zolinga zofanana. Iwo samayesa kuyika spoke mu mawilo a wina ndi mzake, iwo samapikisana, iwo samayesa «kumenya» wina ndi mzake. M'malo mwake, kuthandizana ndi kuthandizana kumalamulira mu ubalewo.
6. Kukhala otetezeka mwakuthupi ndi m’maganizo
Othandizana nawo sakhala odekha kapena kukangana wina ndi mnzake. Amadziwa kuti akhoza kudalira mnzawo pazochitika zilizonse. Sayenera kuopa kuti mnzawo akhoza kuwamenya, kuwakalipira, kuwakakamiza kuchita zomwe sakufuna, kuwasokoneza, kuwachititsa manyazi kapena kuwachititsa manyazi.
7. Kumasukirana
Kudzimva kwa chitetezo kumakulolani kuti mutsegule mokwanira kwa mnzanu, zomwe, zimapangitsa kuti kugwirizana kwa zibwenzi kukhale kozama. Amadziwa kuti akhoza kugawana malingaliro awo akuzama ndi zinsinsi popanda kuopa chiweruzo.
8. Kuthandizira umunthu wa wokondedwa
Kukhala bwino kwa okondedwa wina ndi mzake sikuwalepheretsa kukhala ndi zolinga zawozawo m'moyo ndikuzikwaniritsa. Ali ndi nthawi yawoyawo komanso malo awoawo. Amathandizana wina ndi mnzake, amanyadirana, ndipo amasangalatsidwa ndi zokonda za wina ndi mnzake.
9. Kufananiza zoyembekeza
Pamene ziyembekezo za abwenzi pa mbali ya chibwenzi zimakhala zosiyana kwambiri, nthawi zambiri mmodzi wa iwo amakhumudwa. Ndikofunika kuti ziyembekezo za onse awiri zikhale zenizeni komanso zogwirizana.
Izi zimagwira ntchito pa nkhani zosiyanasiyana: kangati amagonana, momwe amakondwerera maholide, nthawi yochuluka yomwe amathera pamodzi, momwe amachitira ntchito zapakhomo, ndi zina zotero. Ngati maganizo a abwenzi pa nkhanizi ndi zina akusiyana kwambiri, nkofunika kukambirana kusiyana ndi kupeza mgwirizano.
10. Kukhala wokonzeka kukhululuka
Muubwenzi uliwonse, okwatirana amapezeka kuti samvetsetsana ndikupwetekana - izi ndizosapeweka. Ngati mnzake “wolakwayo” anong’oneza bondo moona mtima zimene zinachitika n’kusintha khalidwe lake, ayenera kukhululukidwa. Ngati okondedwa sadziwa kukhululuka, m'kupita kwa nthawi, maubwenzi adzagwa pansi pa kulemera kwa mkwiyo wochuluka.
11. Kufunitsitsa kukambirana mikangano iliyonse ndi zotsutsana
Ndikosavuta kuyankhula ndi wokondedwa wanu pamene zonse zikuyenda bwino, koma ndikofunikira kuti muzitha kukambirana mogwira mtima mikangano ndi madandaulo aliwonse. Mu maubwenzi abwino, okwatirana amakhala ndi mwayi wouzana zomwe sakukondwera nazo kapena zokhumudwitsa kapena zomwe sakugwirizana nazo - koma mwaulemu.
Sapewa mikangano ndipo samayesa ngati palibe chomwe chachitika, koma amakambirana ndikuthetsa zotsutsana.
12. Kutha kusangalala wina ndi mzake ndi moyo
Inde, kumanga maubwenzi ndi ntchito yovuta, koma ziyenera kukhala zosangalatsa. Chifukwa chiyani timafunikira ubale ngati okondedwa sakukondwera ndi kukhala nawo, ngati sangathe kuseka limodzi, kusangalala komanso kusangalala nthawi zambiri?
Kumbukirani kuti muubwenzi, aliyense wa okondedwa samangotenga chinachake, komanso amapereka. Muli ndi ufulu woyembekezera wokondedwa wanu kutsatira malamulo onsewa, koma inuyo muyenera kutsatira.