Zosangalatsa 30 ndi zochitika ziwiri

Kodi ndi liti pamene inu ndi mnzanu munaseka kapena kupusitsidwa? Pamene aŵirife tinkapalasa pa nsonga, tinkayenda mumvula kuzungulira mzindawo usiku? Ngati simukukumbukira, ndiye kuti mutha kugwiritsa ntchito jekeseni wochititsa chidwi wa chisangalalo ndi zoyipa. Katswiri wa zaukwati John Gottman akunena kuti n’zosavuta: Maanja amene amasewera limodzi amakhala limodzi.

Mutayamba chibwenzi, mwina simunasunge nthawi yochita nthabwala, zodabwitsa, komanso nthabwala zoseketsa. Tsiku lililonse linali ulendo watsopano, wosangalatsa. "Munamanga maubwenzi ndi chikondi pamaziko a masewerawa. Ndipo palibe chifukwa chosiyira kuchita izi mukalowa mu ubale "wovuta" kapena wautali," akutero mbuye wa psychology yabanja John Gottman m'buku latsopano "8 Madeti Ofunika".

Masewerawa ndi osangalatsa, osangalatsa, opanda pake. Ndipo ... ndichifukwa chake nthawi zambiri timakankhira kumapeto kwa mndandanda wa ntchito zapakhomo zofunika kwambiri - zotopetsa, zosasangalatsa, koma zovomerezeka. N’zosadabwitsa kuti m’kupita kwa nthawi, banja limayamba kuliona ngati chizolowezi, monga mtolo wolemetsa umene tiyenera kunyamula pamapewa athu.

Kugawana Zosangalatsa ndi Masewera Kumapanga Chikhulupiliro, Ubwenzi ndi Kulumikizana Kwakuya

Kuti musinthe malingaliro awa, zosangalatsa zomwe zili zosangalatsa kwa onse awiri, kaya ndi masewera a tenisi kapena nkhani za mbiri yakale ya kanema, ziyenera kuganiziridwa ndikukonzekereratu. Malinga ndi lipoti lofufuza za Marriage and Family Research Center, kugwirizana pakati pa chisangalalo ndi chimwemwe cha okwatirana n’kwambiri ndipo n’koonekeratu. Pamene inu ndalama mu zosangalatsa, ubwenzi, ndi kusamalira okondedwa wanu, m'pamenenso osangalala ubwenzi wanu m'kupita kwa nthawi.

Kusangalala ndi kusewera limodzi (awiri, opanda foni, opanda ana!) kumamanga chidaliro, ubwenzi, ndi mgwirizano wozama. Kaya mukuyenda pa paragliding, kukwera mapiri, kapena kusewera masewera a board, mumagawana cholinga chimodzi, kugwirira ntchito limodzi, ndi kusangalala, zomwe zimalimbitsa mgwirizano wanu.

Sakani kugwirizana

Kufunika kwapaulendo kuli konsekonse, koma timafunafuna zachilendo m'njira zambiri. Ndipo simunganene kuti wina ndi woipa kapena wabwino kuposa winayo. Anthu ena amalolera zoopsa, amafunikira maulendo owopsa kwambiri kapena owopsa kuti apeze milingo yofanana ya dopamine yomwe ena amapeza kuchokera kuowopsa kwambiri.

Ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo muli ndi malingaliro osiyana pa zomwe zimafunika kukhala zosangalatsa ndi ulendo, zili bwino. Onani madera omwe muli ofanana, pezani pomwe mumasiyana, ndikuyang'ana zomwe mungafanane nazo.

Chilichonse chikhoza kukhala chosangalatsa, bola chikankhira munthu kunja kwa malo ake otonthoza.

Kwa maanja ena, zimakhala zosangalatsa kutenga kalasi yophika ngati sanaphikepo m'miyoyo yawo. Kapena kupenta, ngati chinthu chokha chomwe adajambula m'miyoyo yawo yonse ndi "ndodo, ndodo, nkhaka." Kuyenda sikuyenera kukhala pamwamba pa phiri lakutali kapena kuyika moyo pachiswe. Kufunafuna ulendo kumatanthauza, kwenikweni, kuyesetsa zatsopano ndi zachilendo.

Chilichonse chingakhale chosangalatsa, bola chikankhira munthu kunja kwa malo ake otonthoza, kumudzaza ndi chisangalalo cha dopamine.

Zosangalatsa

Kuchokera pamndandanda wamasewera ndi zosangalatsa kwa awiri, opangidwa ndi John Gottman, tasankha 30. Lembani atatu apamwamba pakati pawo kapena bwerani ndi anu. Aloleni iwo akhale poyambira pazaka zanu zambiri zoyendera limodzi. Ndiye mukhoza:

  • Pitirizani kukwera kapena kuyenda ulendo wautali limodzi kupita kumalo omwe onse angafune kukacheza.
  • Sewerani limodzi masewera a bolodi kapena makhadi.
  • Sankhani ndi kuyesa masewera atsopano a kanema limodzi.
  • Konzani mbale pamodzi molingana ndi Chinsinsi chatsopano; mukhoza kuitana anzanu kulawa.
  • Sewerani mipira.
  • Yambani kuphunzira chinenero chatsopano pamodzi (mawu osachepera angapo).
  • Kuwonetsa katchulidwe kachilendo m'mawu, kuchita ... inde, chilichonse!
  • Pitani panjinga ndikubwereka tandem.
  • Phunzirani masewera atsopano limodzi (monga kukwera miyala) kapena yendani ulendo wa bwato/ulendo wa kayaking.
  • Pitani ku maphunziro a improvisation, kuchita, kuyimba kapena tango limodzi.
  • Werengani pamodzi ndakatulo za wolemba ndakatulo watsopano kwa inu.
  • Pitani ku konsati yanyimbo.
  • Gulani matikiti opita kumasewera omwe mumakonda ndikusangalalira otenga nawo mbali limodzi.

•Sungani chithandizo cha spa ndikusangalala ndi bafa yotentha kapena sauna pamodzi

  • Imbani zida zosiyanasiyana pamodzi.
  • Sewerani kazitape m'misika kapena poyenda kuzungulira mzindawo.
  • Pitani paulendo ndikulawa vinyo, mowa, chokoleti kapena ayisikilimu.
  • Uzani wina ndi mzake nkhani zochititsa manyazi kapena zoseketsa za moyo wanu.
  • Lumpha pa trampoline.
  • Pitani ku paki ya panda kapena paki ina yamutu.
  • Sewerani limodzi m'madzi: kusambira, kusefukira m'madzi, kusefukira, yacht.
  • Konzani tsiku losazolowereka: kukumana kwinakwake, yerekezerani kuti mukuwonana koyamba. Kukopana ndi kuyesa kukopana.
  • Jambulani pamodzi - mu watercolor, mapensulo kapena mafuta.
  • Pitani ku kalasi yambuye muzojambula zina zokhudzana ndi kusoka, kupanga zaluso, matabwa kapena pa gudumu la woumba.
  • Pangani phwando losayembekezereka ndikuyitanitsa aliyense amene angabwere.
  • Phunzirani kutikita minofu maanja.
  • Lembani kalata yachikondi ndi dzanja lanu lamanzere (ngati mmodzi wa inu ali wamanzere, ndiye ndi dzanja lanu lamanja).
  • Pitani kumakalasi ophikira.
  • Lumpha kuchokera ku bungee.
  • Chitani zomwe mumakonda kuchita koma mumaopa kuyesa.

Werengani zambiri mu Madeti Ofunika 8 a John Gottman. Momwe mungapangire maubale moyo wonse ”(Audrey, Eksmo, 2019).

Za Katswiri: John Gottman ndi wothandizira mabanja, mkulu wa Relationship Research Institute (RRI), komanso wolemba mabuku angapo ogulitsa kwambiri okhudza maubwenzi apabanja.

Siyani Mumakonda